They say, "You're a little much for me
You're a liability
You're a little much for me"
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I'm a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I'm a little much for
Everyone...
LORDE
"Miss Bennet?" Darcy called as he rounded the corner. She was already almost at the end of the hallway, and he caught a glimpse of Jane behind him, standing in front of the closed door.
"Please just… let me alone, Mr Darcy." Lizzie slowed down but kept walking.
"No, Miss Bennet, I will not."
Please?" She begged, faltering.
"You cannot simply keep running away, Miss Bennet. That is unlike you," he tried, and she shook her head angrily.
"I am sorry! Is that what you wish to hear?" She didn't stop, and he quickened his pace.
"No, Elizabeth, it isn't!" Darcy said, catching her elbow. Even if his grip hadn't stopped her, she would have frozen to the spot in shock at his words, and he was surprised himself. Up until that very moment he had not worked up the nerve to use her name, and despite telling himself it was in case her family heard, it was more to do with his own fears that none of this was real: that at any moment she could change her mind. However, he had said it now, so he decided to forge forward, "I wish to hear how you are truly feeling?"
"I… I do not know."
"What can we do; your sisters, your parents? What do you need?" He asked earnestly.
"I require nothing," Elizabeth said coldly, and Darcy's heart dropped. This was exactly the attitude and expression she had greeted with him on the day of his first proposal – she seemed to have reverted to a version of herself that could not stand his interference.
"Please, listen to me," he requested, "What use am I, if I cannot comfort you when you need it?"
"Perhaps you are not of use, then," Elizabeth said, but he could hear the uncertainty in her voice, and could see the regret on her face not moments after she said it.
"Elizabeth," he started, but she flinched back, and he nearly lost his grasp on her arm. He tightened his hold and pulled her back to him gently, but she refused to look at him.
In the other room, the Bennets and Bingleys were trying desperately to hear what was being said through the walls. They had heard Mr Darcy's shout of, 'Miss Bennet', and Lizzie's request to be left alone, but the voices quickly faded as they vanished down the corridor.
Every now and then they heard the odd word, such as, 'please', and, 'sorry', and 'no', but there was nothing tangible enough to form an opinion.
Charles and Georgiana, who wanted to give them some privacy, attempted to start conversation with those beside them. Charles engaged the younger Bennets and Georgiana commented, "This food is truly delicious, what do you think of it, Miss Bingley?"
Caroline, who had been attempting to eavesdrop in furious quiet, was forced to acknowledge the girl, "It is perfectly adequate, Georgiana, but I am sure the food is much better at Pemberley."
"Sometimes, I am sure it is, but there is different produce in the south," Mr Bennet joined, and Georgiana bowed her head at him gratefully.
"That is true, I suppose," Caroline said, "but Pemberley has provided some of the best food I have ever had the pleasure of eating, and boasts many fine chefs."
"Well, I confess, I have never had the pleasure of dining at Pemberley, but Netherfield has not disappointed thus far, and I have partaken in some fine cuisine offered in London." Mr Bennet said, and suddenly he had Miss Bingley's full attention, as the thought of anyone having eaten anything better than she had was abhorrent.
"Ah, but you see, Mr Bennet, Pemberley is a cut above even London when it comes to fine food. Only the highest of high society could boast better, I am sure." She said haughtily, and Georgiana looked mightily embarrassed.
"And what do you think of Netherfield, Miss Darcy?" Mr Bennet asked kindly, noticing her mortification.
'I like it very much," Georgiana gushed, "Lizzie told me much of Hertfordshire, and of Netherfield and Longbourn, and I have wished to visit ever since. It took a great deal of convincing to allow my brother to let me, however."
"Why is that, Miss Darcy?"
"My brother is very… protective, Mr Bennet. My father died over five years ago, and my mother has been gone for some time. He practically raised me, while trying to raise himself, and I owe him everything."
Mr Bennet sat back in his seat, contemplative, and Kitty finally found a moment, "So, Miss Darcy, how do you know Lizzie?"
"Well, she came to visit Pemberley, while she was travelling with her Aunt and Uncle," Georgiana said, confused.
"Really?" Kitty asked, fascinated, and Mary looked more than a little interested as well.
"Yes," she paused, "Did Miss Bennet not tell you?"
"I suppose she may have done, but when she came home the house was in disarray, what with-"
Mrs Bennet kicked her under the table and she stopped talking.
"What with our sister's engagement," Mary finished for her, and Kitty exhaled gratefully, "So she may have told us, but it must have been forgotten."
"Oh, of course!" Georgiana exclaimed, "Miss Lizzie came to visit after my brother and I asked her to. He had happened upon them the day before I arrived, and I gather he invited during that meeting, but felt inclined to bring me along to ensure an agreement when he asked again. So, she and her aunt and uncle visited Pemberley and we talked and played the pianoforte for many hours."
"How sweet," Kitty gushed, "I wish I had friends like that." For a brief moment, poor Kitty looked bereft, and seemed to be remembering a time when Lydia was her closest friend, and occasional enemy.
"We happened to be visiting around the same time, didn't we?" Charles asked his sisters rhetorically, and they nodded in unison, "And some months before that I believe Darcy had seen Miss Bennet when he was visiting his Aunt, the Lady Catherine De Bourgh."
"Yes of course, she had gone to visit her friend, and by some coincidence was invited to dine with her ladyship at the same time as my brother was visiting. I believe they saw a lot of each other."
"Ah, yes, Miss Collins. We were so saddened today, to hear of her passing," Bingley said sorrowfully.
"Apparently Hunsford and Meryton have become overrun with people mourning the news. Our Lizzie of course knew about it yesterday, at the same time as the Lucases discovered it. Mr Collins had sent a personal letter to each. It would be an honour, if not for the sad circumstances," Mrs Bennet said.
"I am certain Lizzie does not see it that way, Mrs Bennet," Mr Bennet scolded, and his wife put her cutlery down.
"Perhaps not, Mr Bennet, but is it not better that she learnt it in person rather than through heartless gossips?" She asked, and it took all of Mr Bennet's resolve not to point out that she was one of those heartless gossips herself.
"Elizabeth?" He inquired again, and she closed her eyes to avoid meeting his.
"Please… just let me be. I cannot have you looking at me thus."
"How do I look at you?" He asked, honestly bemused.
"With pity, Mr Darcy."
He sighed and fiddled with his cravat, "I do not know how else to look at you, Miss Bennet, when you appear so spiritless."
"I am not spiritless, I am…" She trailed off, unable to come up with a suitable excuse. She could feel his warm fingers through her sleeve, and her owns fingers suddenly felt very cold at her sides. She slumped, all the fight having left her body, and she turned to face him, still refusing to meet his eye. He stepped to the side a little, taken aback, but did not let her go.
"It is my fault." Lizzie said.
"No, it isn't, we have discussed this, you are not responsible for the death of Charlotte Collins." He said, realising too late that it sounded more like a reprimand than a comfort.
She shook her head weakly, "No, Mr Darcy, it is my fault that George Wickham is still in your life."
Darcy shut his mouth abruptly and waited for her to finish.
"If you had not proposed to me, you could live the rest of your life, and your sister could live the rest of hers, without ever crossing paths with him again. Yet because of me, because of my association, you might never be able to move forward," Lizzie said, "I cannot do that to Georgiana, to you! I cannot expose you to my mother, to Lydia, or to your own relatives who have their opinions."
"You are speaking of my Aunt?"
"She came to visit my home for the sole purpose of telling me not to marry you."
"Elizabeth, no-one else has any business telling me, or you, whether or not we may marry."
"I am a selfish creature, Mr Darcy, I have told you this before. I have repeatedly put my own wants before those of the people I love, and it has brought nothing but misery. I refused Mr Collins out of an entitled belief that I should only marry for love, and my friend married him instead. I refused you for the same reason. Despite knowing the details of Wickham's betrayals, I never spoke of it to anyone but Jane; I could have prevented his ever having taken Lydia. And I accepted your proposal, also out of selfishness, despite every suggestion that it was inappropriate. I love you, so I believe it only fair that I get to marry you, but that is not how it works, nor has it ever worked that way. If I had been better in the beginning, I could have married Mr Collins and spared my family a great deal of misery, not to mention myself, or Charlotte."
Mr Darcy was completely and totally frozen, trying to find a way to reason around her statements, but unable to form a coherent thought, and Elizabeth managed to extract her arm from him and step back. He blinked, and reached out to her again, but she moved further away. Without a moment's hesitation, the old Darcy had returned; haughtier and angrier, and he straightened, hands behind his back.
"If that is how you feel Miss Bennet," he said, and turned on his heel and walked away. Elizabeth felt the regret biting at her heels, but she too turned and walked in the opposite direction, turning into another room.
Darcy made it back to the door, where Jane was standing, and immediately realised that he was in some kind of trouble. Jane Bennet, for the first time in their acquaintance, looked utterly furious.
"Yes, Miss Bennet," He said sharply, somehow managing to keep his irritated expression for as long as it took to say the words. Unfortunately, all authority he had was directly swept from beneath him when she crossed her arms and opened her mouth.
"What sort of reasoning was demonstrated there, Mr Darcy?" Jane asked, and he cleared his throat, embarrassed, but she didn't allow him to answer, "My sister is heartbroken. She is grief-stricken, and she blames herself for the death of her closest friend, and all you have to offer in response is censure?"
"Now, Miss Bennet, that is not what I-"
"No, perhaps not, Mr Darcy, but that is not how it was understood, not by myself and I am sure not by my sister. Do you think that walking away in frustration is going to help her, or were you just in favour of giving up?"
He did not answer the question, for fear that whatever explanation he offered would be the wrong one. He found that Jane Bennet could be genuinely terrifying when she wanted to be, and suddenly noticed the striking similarities between the sisters, although felt this was probably not the time to comment on it.
"I thought you cared for my sister, Mr Darcy?"
"I do, of course I do!" He snapped, indignant, and now Jane winced slightly, seemingly remembering who she was talking to. Luckily, her love for her sister outranked her respect for the man before her.
"I have always tried to convince Lizzie that you are nicer than you appeared," Jane had the sense to speak softly, so as not to be heard by those through the wall, but they must have definitely heard Darcy's outburst. She frowned, "When you were aloof at gatherings, when Wickham spread rumours, even after discovering what you said to Charles, I still thought the best of you, because I find it hard to speak ill of anyone that does not deserve it. You have never deserved it, Mr Darcy, until this moment. You cannot love my sister and not stand by her in her suffering. She is obstinate, unwavering, tenacious and opinioned, but she is also kind-hearted, and tolerant and more intelligent than I, and even though she would despise me for saying so, she is sensitive. How can you hope to combat her in marriage if you cannot abide one evening's frustration?"
Mr Darcy opened and closed his mouth, defeated by the second Bennet that evening, and rubbed his face in his hands, "I do not know, Miss Bennet. I can only hope to try."
Jane's temper died faster than it had arrived, and she considered him pityingly, "I apologise, Mr Darcy, I should not have been so upset, nor should my judgement have been so untempered as to speak to you that way."
"What did you say that was not true, Miss Bennet?" Darcy said, remembering the day he had said the same to his betrothed, "I should not have allowed her to push me away simply out of vexation."
"I should hope not!" Jane said with humour, "If that is how you react to her disagreement, you shan't have a happy marriage, Mr Darcy."
He chucked, "Believe it or not, but her temper is something that I usually find most agreeable."
"It is a quality that I have always admired for my lack of it," Jane agreed.
"I would not say you lack it at all, Miss Bennet," Darcy pointed out, and she blushed crimson.
"I must see to my sister, Mr Darcy." She excused herself, and he stood, hovering with his hand against the door handle, unwilling to enter.
Silence had once again descended on the room, almost at the exact moment that Mr Darcy could be heard to say, 'Yes, Miss Bennet' with a great degree of bitterness in his voice. They believed for a moment he was talking to Lizzie, until Jane answered.
'What sort of reasoning was demonstrated there, Mr Darcy?" The woman said, and Caroline and Mrs Hurst both looked offended at the impertinence.
"I take it that your friend has not managed to calm my daughter?" Mr Bennet offered to Bingley, who shrugged apologetically.
"…all you have to offer in response is censure?" Jane finished, and Bingley managed to look both slightly perturbed and mildly proud at the sound of his beloved arguing with his best friend.
The argument continued, and Caroline and Louisa looked more and more outraged as it went on. Georgiana, however, looked as if she was more on the side of Jane, as did Bingley, and Mr Bennet, despite not knowing the circumstances, felt inclined to agree. Mrs Bennet, Kitty, Mary and Mr Hurst, however, were just enjoying the show.
"I thought you cared for my sister, Mr Darcy?"
"I do, of course I do!" Mr Darcy's voice sounded troubled, despite its volume.
Mr Bennet nodded, his suspicions confirmed, but Mrs Bennet looked vexed. Jane's voice became notably softer behind the door, and though they strained themselves to hear her, it was simply impossible. There were a few more quiet comments exchanged, and then someone's footsteps could be heard fading away.
They sat with bated breath, staring at the door, and were not disappointed when Mr Darcy walked through it, glancing reservedly at them all. He sat down, folded his hands on his lap, and then said, "Miss Bennet is rather distressed. Due to our… friendship, I believed it might be possible to calm her, but unfortunately, as you must know, Miss Bennet is rather unyielding."
"And what particular friendship is that, Mr Darcy?" Mr Bennet asked, a twinkle in his eye.
Darcy cleared his throat, "We grew to know each other during her visit to my Aunt's. Then when she was in Lambton she visited my estate more than once. She has been an excellent companion to my sister, and has offered the hand of friendship to myself."
"That is not all, brother," Georgiana said, and he waited for her to say something that might give away his true feelings, in case they weren't already obvious to the entire party, "she also helped you overcome your shyness! Before Miss Bennet, you were always silent at gatherings, and refused to dance with anyone but an acquaintance. I believe Miss Bennet was the first lady you ever stood up with outside of that circle."
Mr Bennet was now nearly shaking with mirth, and Mr Darcy had the sense to look very discomposed, "Yes, Georgiana, she did suggest that my reluctance to converse with strangers could come across as somewhat… arrogant and unfriendly."
"And I am sure she was very forthcoming with that opinion, eh Mr Darcy?" Mr Bennet chuckled merrily, and Darcy glanced at him in relief. At least one person at the table, besides his sister and his friend, was not looking at him with a mixture of confusion and interest.
"Yes, Miss Bennet is often forthcoming in her opinions, not that I can find fault in them," He replied, smiling. He was contemplating speaking further on Elizabeth, when the door opened and Jane Bennet walked through, slightly damp and shivering.
"Jane?" Bingley stood up immediately and suggested they all move to the sitting room, where the fire was blazing, and offered her a place by the fire. She accepted it, as everyone followed them into the smaller room.
After a moment, Darcy looked around, 'Where is E- Miss Bennet?"
Jane looked around at everyone's confused faces and shook her head, "She has gone."
Hey guys! I would just like to address some stuff - I know a couple of the words I have used are not truly accurate, but I am trying to edit as I go, as I wrote this initially a long time ago when I was terrible at writing J.A, and only recently decided to retry it, and have been improving it as I post each chapter. Also, he has deliberately not been using her name, as explained in this chapter, but I have received multiple messages and reviews asking why not, so that is why, in case you were unable to work it out. I am trying to be as accurate to J.A as possible, as always, but as usual, I have added a couple of slightly more dramatic scenes in - think Emily Bronte or Elizabeth Gaskell. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, dramatic as it was. Thank you! xxx