Part 3 : Forget is less painful than to remember.
Just after he woke up, Rumple understood than there was something wrong. It was completely natural, because his mother's curse just hit them.
But it wasn't that that worried him, it had to deal with something else. He remembered, but if it wasn't something that Fiona intended to do, he did. He was the Dark one, after all (was he still it ? He didn't know.)
He was still in Storybrooke, and in reality this is what surprised him first. Because it was the first time it happened, because at the arrival after a curse, they were always in a different place from the previous.
But here, it wasn't the case. Rumplestiltskin was in his bed, and everything was normal, there was nothing strange to signal.
Except that he was alone…
§§§§
He didn't understand at that moment what was happening, not really at least, but he just needed an instant so the false memories linked with the curse that his dear mother cast came again in his memory.
He grimaced. He didn't like it, not at all; he understood that he had been right not to trust his mother, she just waited an occasion to fool him. Something was definitely wrong in this story, another thing than the fact that the members of Emma' family had been sent into the Enchanted Forest.
The deal he more or less did with his mother hadn't been respected (so he wasn't the only one of the family who broke a deal), because his family wasn't complete.
(Of course, he counted Henry in it, but doubted that this last one really wanted to talk to him, as he may still remembered and didn't want to have a conversation with his grand-father, knowing his role that this last one played in all this story.)
A rapid look confirmed to him what he already knew: Belle wasn't in his bed, next to him.
And he didn't understand why.
Half panicked, but trying to hide it, he get out of his bed, rapidly wore his clothes, and searched for his son.
His fears were of course soon gone now, as he found this last one rapidly, and imperceptibly, he sighed with relief.
This one, at least, she didn't take him from me…
Gideon was there, adult, smiling to him as if all that happened never existed.
His father smiled to him too, without a real enthusiasm, a thing that Gideon immediately remarked:
"Dad, is… is everything okay ?
- Don't worry Gideon, I am just a little… tired."
By hearing his son talk to him that way, naturally, the wizard couldn't help but feel moved just by the idea of having good relationships with his son in this version of the story.
Well, at least, that was a thing that he couldn't pull out to the Black Fairy.
(Even though that in the deep of himself, he perfectly knew that it had nothing normal, and that everything of this was false and should have never existed.
Even though he knew that what he needed to do now, was to do the right choice, to go to see his mother and try to break the curse.
He should have been the Saviour, so it was his role now, not the role of Emma Swan...
And despite that, despite all of that, he surprised himself by hoping that it stayed that way.
All of he wanted, after all, it was to have his entire family with him.)
The only regret he had, the only thing that did that all of this wasn't perfect, it was Belle's absence.
In a certain way, he would have preferred to forget, never have known that she existed one day.
And, at the limit, he would have wanted to believe that she really abandoned them, him and Gideon.
(But this, it was something he didn't want to think about, as it would never be true.
Between the two of them, it was him, and not Belle, who was the coward in their couple, and even though he would have just wanted to have just a quarter of her courage, Gold knew it would never be the case.
Never.
He would never be considered as brave, even though he tried with all of his forces to be it, it was just not in his nature.
Gold was the one who left, who always gave up, especially when it was about something that could make him become happy or better.
He was just a coward, and he felt so sorry for that.
But maybe that it wasn't too late for him...)
§§§§
He tries to talk to Gideon about his mother, but this one doesn't want to listen, and the Dark One curses his mother.
Maybe that there were things that would never change, that he would never be able to be completely happy, that always something would miss, or in this situation, someone.
He saw his mother again, just to know and see if she knew, and if yes or no she was suspicious about him. Rumple almost laughed at her as she showed him the pictures representing Belle.
No because there were false, but just because there… were really badly done. And that no one could have believed to it, sincerely.
Obviously, he did as he always did, he lied to her, and dissimulated, which was a game to which he finally became extremely good at.
And of course, he wished his discussion with Belle didn't end that way, but apparently, his mother decided to make her go out of his life, and gave her a personality that had nothing to do with who she really was.
To see her like that really hurt him, and again, he knew that he would have wanted to forget.
(Instantly, he blamed himself. It was not what Belle would have wanted, she would have wished that he did something else than to complain of his destiny, that he chose something else than facility.
And she would have been right.
He had to do something against his mother; to fight, to kill her, or at least try, instead of doing nothing.
Strop being a coward Rumple, and fight.
It was what he had to do, because even though it was more easy to forget than to remember. It wasn't the good thing to do.
For Belle, or even himself and Gideon.)
He would fight against his mother, because he was the only one in town who could defeat her, even if the fight wouldn't be easy.
But he didn't have to do it, at least, not at that moment, because in the end, his grand-son came to see him and ask for his help.
A help that he gave to him, of course.
But, as he saw him leave with the sword of his grand-father, the wizard had almost despite himself a twinge in his heart.
And he felt fear, as Henry was the only thing and person that he had from Baelfire, and even though he didn't always show it to him (by doing almost always the bad choices), Gold really loved his grand-son.
And then, as he saw him leave, he had as the impression he was sending him to death. Or at least, to disaster.
Henry had no chance to defeat the Black Fairy, and they knew it, both.
There was only Emma and Gold that could, and she already was in Boston at that moment.
But maybe that he was letting him go to it because, in the deep of himself, he had hope that the young man could succeed.
Be careful Henry, he whispered to his grand-son, already out of the shop.
He didn't know how he was right, nor to what point what would follow would be a disaster…