Disclaimer: I only wish they were mine.

Chapter 3: A Day at a Time

Grace POV

Waking up in the hospital with an IV stuck in my arm after a near-death experience where I was saved by a strange, rescue-trained man was not one of the most defining moments of my life. I was quite ashamed of what I had done. I was ashamed mostly because I knew my mother would have been horrified. I imagined journeying to the other side only to have her kick my ass for committing suicide. At least I would see her again, and after she was done kicking my but all through the clouds she would hold me like she used to when I was younger.

My Shoomis used to tease us that there was a line up to see the Creator when we got to the spirit world and you had to tell him about your life. Shoomis always said he was going to get sent to the back of the line to wait all over again because he had screwed up so much with drugs and alcohol, had wasted much of the time the Creator had given him.

And I had almost wasted my whole life. What was I thinking? I knew damn well this wasn't what my family would have wanted for me. They expected so much of me; even now in their death I could still feel the pressure of their hopes and dreams for me. My parents had always hoped I would be a doctor or lawyer with my high grades and great street smarts. They had been so disappointed when I joined the armed forces. They never showed that disappointment though; they supported me through it all, especially when I got the boot for consorting with a higher ranking officer. The asshole had charged me with sexual harassment just to get rid of me and I had been dishonourably discharged, but not before I got my nursing degree out of the deal.

I put the thought from my mind and turned myself into a more comfortable position on my great aunt's couch. I had been released from the hospital yesterday but I had refused to leave the small reserve where I had lived for most of my life. I felt so much closer to my family here. The couch was completely uncomfortable, leather, which had once belonged to my grandparents, when my mother was still in elementary school. Definitely not appealing in any manner.

I let my thoughts wander for a while. I could hear a dog barking in the distance. For some reason it made me think of the young man who had pulled me from the rapids. How he had survived and managed to rescue me too was beyond my imagination. I wasn't sure if I was glad he had saved me either.

My uncle had said his name was Seth Clearwater and he was visiting from somewhere in Washington, state, not city. I vaguely remembered his outline against the rushing water, but I distinctly remembered his eyes. He had locked gazes with me as I was carried up the hill to the ambulance and I had passed out soon after. I wished that I could have thanked him, but apparently he had returned to his backpacking through Canada soon after I was declared perfectly fine and before I was released.

I punched the couch into a more comfortable position and tried to fall asleep. It was useless. My mind was going a mile a minute and I couldn't even close my eyes to the ever growing darkness. I quietly got up and threw on my favourite sweater which my uncle had brought from my place in Fort Frances. I had been given a sick leave from work and my aunt insisted I stay with her for a while until I got back on my feet halfway.

I snuck out the front door, making sure to skip the second step and pet their aging dog so she wouldn't bark. I automatically turned my steps west, towards the river, and the rapids. My quiet, jumbled thoughts were interrupted by a low, male voice about halfway down the riverbank steps.

"Not going for another swim are you?"

I spun around on the stairs, a small sound of surprise, more like a sharp exhale with a shriek edge, escaped my throat. The man who had pulled me from the rapids stood not ten feet away. What was his name again? Sam, no...Seth that was it! Seth.

"Uh, no, I was just, I...um," I stuttered over my words, "You're Seth right?"

My voice was stronger now and he looked surprised that I knew his name. I continued to babble in my nervousness.

"My uncle told me your name, but he said you left already. I just wanted to say thank you, for you know saving my life, but also for not telling anyone that I jumped. I was so stupid, don't know what I was thinking, well actually I do, but I...I'm babbling...sorry."

His face was partially hidden in the moonlight, but I could tell he was amused by my chatter, even if his face was a serious mask. He took a few more steps towards me and I stayed very still.

"Yes, my name is Seth. I am supposed to be gone by now but I couldn't leave until I talked to you. I want the truth, not whatever you've been telling everyone."

I gulped. Well this was going to be a long conversation. I looked longingly toward the rocks at the foot of the hill and suggested that we take a seat. He looked at me doubtfully.

"Just near the edge of the bank, not too far out, I just, I like to watch the water."

He studied me for one more moment and led the way down to the rocks, still staying a few feet away, almost like he was afraid to get too close. I didn't blame him; he probably thought I was crazy or something. Maybe I was.

Seth stopped before I wanted to but I didn't argue with him and sat down next to him, staring out at the water. He waited patiently beside me, watching me. It surprised me that his stare didn't annoy me; usually I hated it when people stared at me.

I turned to look at him. His face was fully visible in the moonlight now and my breath caught in my chest as I took in his beauty. Perfectly shaped features, deep, russet coloured skin and intense brown eyes met my examination. I looked him up and down quickly and noticed for the first time that he wore nothing but cut-off shorts. I blushed, for some odd reason, and forced my eyes away from his chiselled body and back to his face. He continued to stare back at me and I felt oddly comforted by this strange man.

I took a deep, purifying breath, "So...I guess I don't really know what to say here."

A smile graced his features and my breath way stolen from me with the simple facial expression. My heart accelerated slightly as I admonished myself for reacting like I was. It was stupid to even admire a man when I couldn't admire myself.

I could feel him continue to stare at my down-turned face and again it struck me that it didn't bother me to have him look at me so steadily. It took me a second to realize he was speaking and I was forced to ask him to repeat himself.

"I was just thinking that maybe you could tell me why you jumped. I mean at first I was afraid you were going to fall so I moved closer, but then you jumped! It was all I could do to pull you out of there!"

I held up a hand to stop him from continuing his little rant. I gave him a simple answer, still reluctant to talk about it, "I was suicidal."

He snorted, "Obviously. My question is why."

Damn this stranger. "I lost everything."

"What like are you bankrupt or something?"

That had to be the stupidest thing I had ever heard and giggled despite myself, then I began to laugh in earnest, but then my laughs turned to light sobs as tears began to run down my face. If only my problems were as simple as being broke. But I could never be so lucky. Instead I had lost something so much more important to me than money.

"Are you okay?" he appeared to think I was going to fall apart. He had his arm around my shoulder tightly. I hadn't even noticed the contact, but now that I was staring at his arm he removed it. I instantly missed the warmth his bare arm had provided. His skin had been very hot, almost as if he had a fever.

"Are you?" I finally replied through my tears.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He really seemed puzzled.

"You're really hot," I stumbled, "I mean, like, as in warm, your skin is really hot...uh warm. Do you have a fever or something?"

He laughed lightly at my stuttered questions and didn't bother to answer me even though I waited for a while. He continued to stare at me and it was starting to make me a little uncomfortable, but not annoyed. I looked out towards the water. The river was high and the water flowed like molten glass over the rush of the rapids. As I stared I saw the silhouette of a large sturgeon break the surface and jump into the air. It slid gracefully back into the river and did not reappear.

I remembered a moment with my mother here by the rapids. We had come down here to talk about our family. It had been a horrid time. I had accidentally met her biological father and he was trying to get me to call him Grandpa in the middle of Wal-Mart. I had known that Shoomis wasn't mom's biological father but she never mentioned the other man and I didn't really know anything about the situation. My mother had rounded the corner where I had been pursuing the movies to find him trying to give me a hug. She had asked him quite calmly to remove himself and leave me be. They had argued for a moment before she took my hand and led me away to the check out. She didn't say anything on the way home or as we unloaded the groceries. Then she had taken my hand and we walked to down the highway to the rapids in silence. We sat on the rocks for a while before she began to talk. It was the first time she had treated me like an adult as far as I could recall in my thirteen year old mind. She weaved her words beautifully; she had always been a great story teller.

I mostly remember her tears from that day, I had cried too as she told me of the family who had lied to her and then left her. She wasn't white enough for them I guess. She also told me how her mother had brought her here to tell her that her infant brother was going to die from birth complications. She had wanted to bring me here because she said that water was healing, especially for women, and that her dodem, her clan, the sturgeon was right here if she needed it.

And now they were here for me. Even though I had adopted my father's dodem as was our tradition, my mother still said that hers would watch over her children too. It made me feel better that the sturgeon had jumped. He was coming to visit me.

"You know, I was wondering what kind of fish that was. There was one near you when I pulled you out. Kind of like it was keeping an eye on you."

I was surprised by this bit of information, but then I chalked it up to faith. "It's a sturgeon."

"Oh."

A silence followed this little awkward moment. I was exhausted all of a sudden as watched the sun begin to rise. I decided to just get it over with, maybe I would feel better if I talked to someone and maybe he wouldn't be like everyone else, lost in their own grief at the loss of my family.

"I lost my family."

He turned to look at me again, the sunrise highlighting his features in an almost angelic glow. His eyes were sympathetic, still guarded, but also curious.

"When?" I was surprised at this question. I had expected him to grill me about who and how and why, not when.

I actually had to think about this. What was the date today? The 20th? Yeah I think so. My god, had it really been that long?

"Six weeks ago." How in the hell was I still living? How was I living without them?

Seth remained silent as I continued my thoughts out loud, "I just can't believe it's already been that long. I don't know how I'm still breathing, still living without them."

"You almost weren't," He reminded me softly.

Tears began to track their familiar path down my face. Once again Seth put his arm around me and I leaned into the warmth of his embrace. I didn't let myself completely lose control, I simply sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

I don't know how long we sat there. He held me as I cried and remembered my lost family, sometimes I shared my memories with him, sometimes he told me stories of his home to distract me and calm me for a bit. After a few hours of sharing our lives, I pulled away from Seth to wipe my face. I moved to the edge of the rocks with him following closely. I knelt down at the edge of the rolling waters and cupped my hands into a small rivulet of the river. I splashed the cool water onto my face and smiled slightly as Seth knelt down next to me and mimicked me. I sat back after I was through and watched the fast current, amazed that he had succeeded in pulling me from the rapids that no one had ever survived.

"Grace?" Seth broke into my musings quietly.

I turned to look at the handsome man next to me, "Hmm?"

"It's getting kinda late and I was wondering if you'd like to get something to eat. I don't have a car or anything though so I don't know how we'd go anywhere."

He seemed ashamed of the fact that he didn't have a car. I smiled at that thought. I mean if he was backpacking across Canada why would he have a car anyway?

"I've got a car. Lunch would be great."

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A/N: Sorry it took longer than planned but I hope 2500 words make up for it. Just a little aside: I went to the Rapids for the first time in a very long time last week and I was once again awed by the power and beauty in time with nature's tranquility. There is no other place like it on Earth. You know you wanna click the little green button! ;)