There was no surprise in waking up alone the next morning. His sheets were soft and warm but there was nothing I wanted more than to get out of them.

The alarm read 08:26, it was late for me. I certainly had slept in but I would be home soon to have a shower and clean myself of last nights shame. How it all had happened and so fast was the biggest question I have ever come across.

It had thankfully been short. Itachi was to my utter surprise painfully a virgin. Or he had had been and he couldn't possible have had a worse time. Unless he came to knew I was actually a man or previously one. No chance of that.

"Itachi, you're using a condom, right?"

He must have skipped that awkward short introduction to safe sex we had in the Academy. How I had ended up beneath him without making sure he had wrapped up was beyond me. It wasn't as if I was so experienced myself, but I knew better than to jump into bed without using protection. Good thing was that I clearly wasn't in the risk of catching some horrid disease.

"I'll just slip out before I come."

He had slipped out right then and there with my help. He landed next to me with a thud and surprise in his eyes. Why did he have to look at me like that.

"Fuck, you can knock someone up with pre-cum!"

That was my father's teaching. I had a faint idea that me or one in my old team came to be just because of that. Father couldn't stress it enough and had embarrassingly told me several times and now I might be trapped because of that mistake.

"Pre-cum doesn't contain sperm cells."

Sure he knew his biology, I wouldn't have expected anything less from the daft genius next to me.

"You're right, but it's a liquid and sometimes it pulls sperm cells with it, god you're so helpless."

It was a sting to his underachieving in bed. I had not been satisfied, but I couldn't really hold it against him since he was so obviously clueless to what was going on.

"Are you sure you're not the one desperate to start a family?"

"With you? Hmph."

With that he pulled the covers under his head and promptly fell asleep. Well, that was what he wanted me to think so I let him lay there in peace.

Now my clothes were missing. Where he had taken them to only he knew, there was no reason for me to try and figure out where he had taken my clothes and why. I just praised my diet that we weren't the same size as I wrapped his covers to find him.

My first choice to start my man hunt was his adjoining bathroom. Fog covered the mirror, it was damp and hot inside the room. He had definitively been there and tried to wash away the shame from last night. Every attempt at that was futile.

Opening the door walking into the hallway I heard scuffling. It sounded like plates were put down on a table so my guess was that he was in the kitchen eating.

The house was a maze and last night's memory was foggy. Left or right? Ah, my memory was no help in this case and I decided to blindly follow the sounds and it got me right where I wanted.

The daylight was shining all too brightly through the curtains already. I could only blame it for noticing all too late.

"Sicko, where did you take my clothes. I really don't want to know why and what you did with them."

I pulled the covers tighter around me and praised myself happy I did. The man by the sink was not Itachi. From behind, in the sunlight I had mistaken Sasuke for Itachi. How could I have done that? They aren't even similar, I would have questioned the paternity in that case hadn't it been for their eyes.

We were both deer caught in each other's headlights. Hadn't we been interrupted I was sure three pairs of chopsticks would have slipped from Sasuke's motionless hand and down on the floor.

"I didn't know you drank wine, and you could have spared me one glass, Itachi. It's my bottle anyway."

Sakura came in to the kitchen reading the label on the bottle. It was a good wine, she liked it and contemplated having a glass with her meal. It was some security against Sasuke, pregnant ladies did not drunk, nor did the ones wanting to become pregnant. At this point in her life she would rather become an alcoholic than a mother.

Sakura had walked all the way into the kitchen before she noticed the white ghost in the other doorway. She did drop what she was holding in her hand. The bottle fell to the ground sending glass shards all over the room. I looked down at my leg to see the cover slowly turn red with my blood. I bent down pulling out the green piece of glass throwing it to the ground.

"I did not sign up for this… Itachi!"

I lifted the covers as I would do a dress walking out of the kitchen shouting for the wretched bastard who had put me in this situation. He could have left a note by the bed or something. He should have done something to warn me about the couple that was silently looking at my naked back as I stumbled helplessly looking for Itachi so that he could give me my clothes back and I swore to god that if he wasn't there before I counted to ten I would leave just wearing his covers.

I did not care who would see me on my way home, I did not care what they would think nor what they said. It could not been more humiliating than my last twelve hours. Nothing could be worse than my last twelve hours.

I heard some sound in the back of the house and started walking. Shuffling and kicking at the covers it was only a matter of time before I slipped and fell as long as I was. Thankfully both Sakura and Sasuke had moved to the doorway I had exited and was able to watch the show.

I was fumbling on the ground like a fish caught on land when Itachi came to see what the commotion was all about. His lips started tugging into a smile when he saw me struggling to get up without flashing my butt to the couple I knew was watching behind me.

"Where the fuck are my clothes you whoremonger?"

He bent down securely wrapping me up in the white covers again and helped me up.

"I figured you would borrow my clothes. Isn't it customary for the woman to wear the clothes of the man the morning after they had sex?"

Now three pairs of chopstick really did fall on the floor and I knew Sakura would most likely seven more bottles of wine if you kept placing them in her hands.

I just growled in response. This man was crazy and I couldn't even start to understand why I had allowed him to violate my body, and unprotected. I would make sure that I hadn't become pregnant from his daft actions.

"I need my clothes."

He was apparently holding them and handed them over to me.

"I… They were covered in beer so I thought I would wash them for you…"

His voice was low and mellow as he spoke looking down at his feet. No, I did not have time for this. I had the time but I did not want to deal with a sad Uchiha. It must be the worst thing ever to exist in this world.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

I knew it wouldn't be enough to cheer him up. I remembered with horror how Sasuke was when he was sad as a child. How his lip would hang and refuse to talk to anyone for days when I had beaten him on a test or something in the Academy.

"Will you be joining us for breakfast."

It was Sakura who asked, she knew too how horrible a sulky Uchiha was because she was standing right next to the one she had agree to possible one day marry.

"No, she had practice with her old team."

It was Itachi who had lifted his head with a noticeable pout plastered on his lips.

"But Shikamaru is gone on a mission."

There were so many things I wanted to do to Sasuke right there and then. Pinch him, slap him tell him off for ruining my obvious excuse. I couldn't do that with Itachi right behind me and Sakura clasping her hands in front of me.

"I'll set the table for one extra!"

With that the scene was over and everyone went back to what they were doing before I had interrupted. Even Itachi sucked in his lips and joined the other couple in the kitchen. This was not what I had wanted to do with a mild hangover. It seemed like I had no other choice than to get dressed and join them. The least my clothes didn't stink of cigarettes and alcohol anymore, they smelled of sweet tangerines.