Author Notes:

Kelsie's always been just a random character, right? Well prepare for some angst! What's a Tsubasa fanfic without angst?

Somehow, the song "Shadows" by Red inspired some of this. Don't ask how. And Bring me to Life by Evanescence, but that's understandable, right?

Remember that playlist? I decided to go ahead with it, even if it is a bit ambitous. The "Why?" for each song is after the chapter, if you're curious. The playlist can be found at: playlist .com/playlist/17809484043/standalone

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Chapter Four: New Games

He left the garage and crossed the entrance to Wakefield street, passing the fire station and continueing down the sidewalk. There was only one other street to cross before the road split, dipping into the road that intersected the square by the barber shop, pulling up into a hill on whic h sat a church before it also sloped downward on the other side of the garage next to the Pheonixe Square Restuart, meeting the road on which sat Kurogane's apartment at a ninety degree angle. He took the one which passed the church and then turned right, walking up the hill and stopping at the old apartment, walking in up stairs.

Fai's sweet laughter floated in from the other room, and immediatly Kurogane's movements became silent as he closed the door and listened.

"Yes, I guess you're right. It is comprimising." The mage chuckled again from the living room "But I can tell you that we do not share that bed, and there is nothing between Kurogane and I. We're simply sharing this apartment until we come into money."

Kelsie's laughter drifted into the kitchen. "It's not like I really care anyway. I was just asking. Well, I better get going. My shift starts in, like, ten minutes. I hope they don't work you too hard over there. Mabe that little place will actually turn into competition with you're pretty face." She was the kind of person who Kurogane could see calling everyone "Darling" and "Honey" in the future. Kelsie, with all of her smiles her her skimpy-but-not-fully-skankish clothing, always got on his nerves, because there must have been some reason why she had hints of bruises hidden here and there, but he saw them when her sleeve caught on something, or the hem of her tank top rode up, or the side of the v-neck she was wearing pulled a bit to one side. There was always the shadow of some kind of injury on her body, and Kurogane didn't like it.

"Oh, hey, Kuro! When did you get here?" She smiled, but Kurogane only leered at her with cold eyes from his place leaning against the sink. Quickly he scanned her for some new abrasion, but her clothes were all in order, so of course there wasn't anything showing.

"Hullo."

"Well, I have to go to Bill's, so I'll leave you two alone." She winked and brushed away her dirty blonde side bangs and therefore the hair framing her face. "Don't be too hard on him, okay? See you 'round."

"Stop getting sick ideas."

She laughed, but then did as she said she would and left. He watched the door for a long time after it closed, then slid his eyes to the entrance of the parlor across the room, immediatly going "Tch."

"What?" said Fai suspicously.

"Come here, idiot," Kurogane said, motioning with his finger. Who had given Fai permission to cut his hair? For some odd reason, Kurogane did not like the old look. He guessed it reminded him of the day he had dropped into the witch's yard and gave a cold stare the man's way, immediatly annoyed with they way his words always got hung up on the other's. Or how bad Fai's lies and secrets had been back then. Or was it the short hair just plain reminded him of the past?

However, something else was tugging at his attention: the way Fai was hesitating. Initially, Fai had gone to take a step forward, but then he had seemed to catch himself and pause, and was giving Kurogane a 'Just tell me what the hell you want' look.

Kuro cocked a brow and snapped, "I'm not going to rape you!"

The blonde muttering something like "Oh, really?" under his breath, but strode across the room to stand right in front of the other, just within arm's reach. However, he soon learned he shouldn't have come so close.

"Ooooow!" he yelled when Kurogane took a handful of his hair and used it to pull him closer with, "What's with the new hairdo? And you got the job, didn't you? I told you to take it easy for a day!"

"Let go!" Fai said loudly. "Let go, bastard!"

Then Kurogane figured it out with a sharp pain, throwing letting the mage before him go with a hard shove. How could he have thought that Fai looked sexy with long hair and his tattoo? Why? And why did it matter if he thought Fai had looked sexy? Hadn't he thrown Nihon and it's policies out the window? Why was it so hard to do that?

"I swear to whatever the hell is up there, if you don't stop acting like a girl who's fucking time of the month it is..." growled the mage as Kurogane started to walk toward the doorway to the living room. Then, before he knew it, Fai had stepped into his path, swung his hand back, and let it fly, a stinging sensation immediatly spreading over Kuro's face as skin met skin with a loud, hard, sharp "SMACK!"

"Bitch slapped!" said Fai with satifaction, smiling his real, evil smile. "Bitch."

"What the hell was that?" growled Kurogane, but deep down he was beaming, because he found Fai's devilish smile sexier than anything else, sexier than the tatto streatching across his back or his long hair. It reminded the ninja of the first real smile he had ever seen from the mage, how ironic it had been that Kurogane actually enjoyed being hit by the other, if it ment they had made up.

Kurogane grabbed the other by the neck of his shirt and bent down a bit, pulling Fai closer so he could growl, "What did you call me, bitch?"

But Fai was frozen at the closeness, his head pulled as far away from the ninja's as possible, and he said nothing for a long time. Being this close was something he dreaded more than anything; it scared him, wracked his nerves, and bore into his concious to ask him the worst questions. Kurogane's smirk started to slowly ebb away at the sight the determind, frightened look on the mage's face, the blue eyes set on something inviable off to the side.

Then, in a almost inaudable whisper, Fai whispered, "Let go."

Kurogane's grip tightened on the white shirt in his grip and he grimanced. "You should know I'll never let go, idiot."

A resentment slowly rose inside Fai's gut, a hate toward all of the lies that Kurogane was putting into his mind, like the thought that mabe Kurogane didn't think of him just as a best friend or a sex buddy. Not that they had ever had sex, but the ninja seemed pretty intent on trying. Was this the second time in days he had cornered him?

"I hate...it. This. You. I hate all of it."

Fai couldn't believe he had just said such a thing...but he had. And it was truth. A hate was filling him, a hate for what Kurogane was doing. Why did the ninja have to make everything so complicated, so horribly, horribly complicated? Why couldn't Kurogane just get over himself and see that the mage was not some kind of sex doll, and that he just wanted things to be simple again, like before? Why couldn't Fai just smile and everyone would think things were all right?

"I don't care. I'll never let go."

But despite his words, Kurogane let Fai go with a shove.

It had been another all-too-quiet night. Fai did his shift at Cumberland Farms and then went home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before heading over to the resturant. Luckily, he got out of the house just before Kurogane woke up.

"You know what a bus boy does, right?"

"Yep."

She smiled. "You've got promise in the resturant business, boy." But her speech was cut short as the bell attached to the door jingled and the first customer of the day walked in, and she had to go to the front counter to wait on him.

Fai's job didn't really begin until the first customer had finished eating. When that occured, he walked out in his apron and bandanna, holding a bucket, about to collect the plates, but he stopped. Sitting at the bar, paying the tab, was a black-haired man with tanned skin and a great build.

Setting his eyes and his shoulders, Fai stode toward the front counter, collecting the plates even though the customer was still there. The man just smirked as he watched the mage load the plates into the bucket with the glass and then turn to walk away.

"Hey, bus boy!"

Fai stopped dead, wanting to punch Kurogane in the face. But he held his temper, and his face, and turned around with a fake smile, the one Kuro hated so much. The ninja didn't have a reply to that, so Fai said, "Yes, sir?"

"Don't you want a tip?" Kurogane held out a couple bills. "Keep it."

Fai took a step forward and snatched away the money with a "Thanks" that was not oozing or dripping sarcasm, but pouring it onto the tiled floor. "I'll remember it." When he turned, he heard a chuckle, and a few moments later the door jingled again.

"Do you know him?" asked the owner as he walked in. "He was so nice. Why were you so rude?"

"Just a little game," Fai said with a smile, putting the dishes into the sink. "I share an apparment with him. We get on each other's nerves, but ultimately we have an understanding."

"Okay. Just make sure to be nice to people you don't know. I don't have to worry about you, though, right? You act like you've worked in the resturant business all your life. And you said you've only worked down the street for a month?"

"Yep." He smiled (fakely). "Though I did know the owner of a cafe in Japan before I came here."

"That must be it," she said, glancing up at the clock. "My regulars should start coming in any minute. I have three or four people who come in on a regular basis. You know, we don't even need a bus boy. You're lucky I hired you."

"I'm very grateful for it," Fai told her, and immediatly she seemed to think he was a very humble and sweet young man. Oh, the wonders a smile and pretty words could achieve...with some people.

"Hey, Kelsy, do you know anyone with a car that's not running too well? I'll get it fixed. I'm not going to pay, but I'll bring it in for them."

"Hmmm...Well, my bug isn't working too well. It's getting louder by the day, but I don't have the money to get the work on it." She paused and then added, "You're planning on using it as an excuse to go to Kuro's work?"

"Not entirely," Fai said into the telephone as he noted down what the needed for food. "He decided to pop in on me at the resturant, so I want to annoy him the same way. Just some friendly competition." LIE. "Hmm...What should I get for produce? I don't each much, but I don't feel like suffering from malnutrition." Again.

"Strawberries are good," she said, and then she said hyperactively, "OMFG they're awesome if you buy Pillsbury fudge frostine and dip them in it. Heeeaven!" she sang.

Inferring that he should know what OMFG ment, he didn't ask, but only said, "I'll try that."

"Watermelon is always good."

"Hmm." He said, writing Watermelon? below Strawberries + Fudge.

There was beep, as if someone had texted her, and she said, "I have to go. I'll talk to you another time, okay? Love you."

Fai froze for a moment, but then he thought of how much like Kelsy it was to say that to a friend. "Love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

"Who was that?"

"Oh, Kuro!" He smiled fakely automatically, but soon saw it wasn't amusing to the ninja. He turned back to his list, which sat on the kitchen counter, and pretended to write something else down. "That was just Kelsy. I was asking her what I should buy since you get paid today."

"Sounded a lot like something else," came the snap. "What's with the 'I love you too' crap?"

What Pained Kurogane was the fact that Fai had never said anything close to "I love you". Vaguely Kurogane thought Fai might have complimented him somewhere along, but it was jokingly or sarcastically. It had taken all of the strenth he possessed to keep himself from knocking the poor door down upon hearing the words "Love you."

Suddenly Fai got a wicked idea, and he turned around with one of his horribly real but scary smiles. However, it was different from his happy smile, and immediatly Kurogane's heart dropped into his stomach. "She's my girlfriend. Of course I'd say that to my girlfriend. Now are we going shopping or not? And we still have to talk about our plans for the lala."

"Go shopping yourself," snapped the ninja. "No, fuck that shit, take that bitch Kesly. And while your at it, get yourself killed at the fucking carveval."

It was going to be another uncomfortably quiet night for Kurogane, though Fai was content with himself and his ability to piss the ninja off. And just so he could piss Kuro off a bit more, he left a note on the counter that morning telling the other he'd be out with Kelsie when the mechanic got off of work, so not to worry about him. Fai would have walked to the resturant without an umbrella, but it would be invonvenient to work while soaked, so be brought the large of the two they owned, coming very close to hiding the other from Kurogane. Later, he wished he had. Why was he so nice?

The bell tinked as someone stepped in, and the owner went out to greet him. At the sound of the voice that answered, Fai almost moaned, but he knew it was his place in this game to go meet the big brute before he left. So when the ninja was finished, Fai walked out to collect the dishes.

"Back again, sir?" he said with a large, fake smile as he took ahold of a large plate and placed it into his rectangular bucket.

"Yep," said Kurogane with a smirk. "It's nice here. I expecially like the bus boy."

"You're too kind," Fai laughed, though it was absolutely fake. He knew his act had changed up from the day before, but he decided that from now on he'd stick with this one. He leaned over the counter flirtatiously.

"I know someone who looks just like you. Exept he's hard-headed and used to be suicidal." Kurogane smirk turned into a smile. He had been up all night, and somewhere along they way it had come to this, coming here to make up with Fai, because as much as it hurt him for Fai to have a girlfriend, it pained him much more for the mage to have a girlfriend and hate him at the same time. As soon as he had heard the word "girlfriend", Kurogane's mind had gone blank with anger and his heart had felt dead in his chest, choking him. The whole night he had felt horrible, and by morning he had vowed to try and go back to his plan of acting nicer and calmer. "And I have to put up with way too much from him, but I know that sometimes I act like he's a normal person when I shouldn't. He's not...and I'm going to have to explain some things tonight."

For some reason, those words frightened Fai beyond belief. The whole morning, as he loaded plates and feined smiles for the elderly woman who commented on his looks and the old man who asked him how life was going, all that he could think of were the ways Kuro could "explain" whatever "things" were. Fai felt like a pervert, but with Kurogane, those two words could mean anything, and he was afraid they had something to do with sex. Was that all that was ever on Kuro's mind? How to use the mage for sex or get angry with him?

After work, Fai didn't know what to do with himself. It was still pouring and he did not have a date with Kelsy, plus he couldn't go home in case Kurogane somehow went back there; Oh god, or whatever was up there, that'd be horrible. Him. And Kurogane. Alone. After that comment. With Kuro in a bad mood. The only place the mage could think of was the cliff, so he set off down there without thinking. To him, it was ironic that he was running from Ashura anymore, but Kurogane, the one man who had given him the strenth to face the king of Celes.

It was somehow magical, though, the way the car's headlights shined off of the pavement, the way the roars of their engines were overridden by the constant "Spaash, spaaash" as tires tred on water, the way the rain tapped on his umbrella, asking for entrance. The trees seemed to creek tiredly as he enterred the corridor of trees, the sound of water seeming to reverberate around him.

He put his feet on the very edge of the cliff, unafraid of the impending drop or the threat of death, looking down upon the angry grey waters that roared past, the banks swollen with new water. Suddenly, Fai felt very lost. He didn't know what to do with himself. To keep himself busy for but a moment longer, he folded his umbrella, but then the impeding depression pounced upon him, and it was all he could do to keep himself from just falling onto the last step, moving his foot forward and dying. What else was there left for him? If it took almost nothing for him to turn back to his old ways, why not just die? Kurogane just wanted him for sex, the kids were home, living happily, and Kelsy could care less....

He stood there, in a frozen, dead-like state for hours, just staring down like some beautiful doll, eyes glazed over. His hair became plastered to his face, his clothes hung heavily from his body. His heart felt dead in his chest. He trusted Kurogane with his life, with his being, with his whole self, because his ninja had always pretected him, but now did the other just want him for fun, now that they had no quest, no more reason to be together? Was this what it was going to come down to? Numbness has started to seep into his bones again, but it was no longer the same as before, this numbness hurt. It was as if his soul was seeping back into into a cold place, unreachable, but this time he was getting frostbite. Because, for the first time in so long, he had been thawed all the way through and had thought that he wouldn't have to go back. The drop wasn't so far. It would be over before he could think about it, if he aimed right.

He stepped down, and the real cliff stood before him, unadultuated, unrated. Just there. Waiting. Not caring wheather he lived or died. Would it be bloody? Would he scream? Would it hurt? How long had be standing out there? His clothes were fully and absolutely soaked, the white shirt he had worn the day before, the one he had used for a uniform at Bill's, was plastered to his back, his tattoo plainly visable. His hair was clinging to his head, his black pants were weighing him down. He was cold and drench, and he did not know when, but he had started to shiver a bit. Still, he was in a horrible emotional pain.

He placed his toes at the egde of the cliff. "I trust you with my life," he murmured aloud. A hope sparked in his stomach from the embers that had rejected the ice. "Come on. Save me."

"FAI!" came a sharp voice, so loud it made the one in question jump in surprize, but he was all too close to the empending drop. Kurogane's voice turned from accusing to begging from one verse of the name to the next, as he bolted forward as fast as he could. And for the milesecond he had to think, the only thing going throught Fai D. Fourite's mind was, "He came. He'll save me."

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P.S - OMFG! CLIFFHANGER! (Litterally) It's fun imaging/give Kelsie the Rhode Island accent. I was talking to my pen pal about it, and she didn't even notice she had it until someone pointed it out to her. Like she said she was watching a local telephon, and they had Dolly Partan on live from Europe, and she said she noticed that she turned the O into more of an A sound and the R was almost non-existant. However, it's kind of hard to right that in without it looking weird, so I really can't.

Playlist Song List So Far:

When the Day Met the Night by Panic! at the Disco:

It inspired one of Fai's dreams, and I think it has a lot of symbolism for these two. Plain and simple.

Not Meant to Be by Theory of a Dead Man:

"One step forward and two steps back," is pretty much the theme so far, when you look at this fanfic. No matter how hard Kurogane tries, he always screws up somehow in Fai's mind, and he is making no progress. Actually, he's going backwards.

"Never enough to say I care." No matter how much Kuro tries to suck up his pride and says "Aight, I care, dude" Fai seems to think he's messing around. He's in denial, which leads to the line "No matter what I do, you's always mad."

I'll Meet You There by Owl City:

"I'll meet you there" referrs to the cliff that they found. If I explained some of the other lines, there would spoilers.

Bring Me To Life by Evanescance:

This song is absofuckinglutely perfect for them. The whole "My spirit is sleeping somewhere cold" line is dementrated in the end of the this chapter, with the "Save me" theme, with the "Call my name."

Shadows by Red:

It inspired me a lot for this particular chapter for some reason. "All these lies" can referr to what Fai thinks is Kurogane lying to get him in bed. And the "Hate inside of me like some kind of master" is the feelings Fai feels at some points when he thinks about how horrible Kurogane is being. Kuro-pon himself even says "I'll never let go," which is a direct quote from the song. Many of the other lines will be explained next chapter.

Soulmate by Natasha Bendingfield:

In previous chapters, Fai is talking about how incompatable they are, which is spoken about in the song. Kurogane loves Fai without being told, though Fai feels so very alone. Also, "Here we are again, Circles never end" matches up with the way Fai keeps having to feel like Kuro only wants him for smex.

My Immortal by Evanecance:

Another song that is absofuckinglutely perfect for Fai, one of three actually. Kuro has "all of" Fai. He's "held his hand" by helping him through everything. He's "Wiped away his tears" by helping him when he needs it. Kurogane kills Ashura, "Fighting away all of his fears".

How to Save a Life by The Fray:

The third in final song in the "Absofuckinglutely" series, and one of the most fitting. This song will come in handy later.

THE PLAYLIST: playlist .com/playlist/17809484043/standalone

For KuroFai Manga Music Videos for My Immortal, How to Save a Life, and Bring Me to Life, please visit: youtube .com/user/xFadingLaughterx