Reluctance

Chapter 4

Author: Tana Uzumaki

Rating: M

Warning: Eventual yaoi/man to man smex, harsh language, a very tiny bit of gore

DISCLAIMER: I still do not own Soul Eater or any of the other characters in it, just this dirty, twisted, and sexy plot. /shot

Except Gael, I totally own her.

Author's notes at the end.

A Risky Deal

Is someone looking for me out there? Does anybody even care? Has anybody noticed my absence? What if nobody did? What if they don't know where to look or what to do? What if I've been replaced? Not that it really matters… My job wasn't very exciting, not as I first thought it to be. But in terms of friendship and maybe as a person who might matter… would they even think of replacing me? What if I'm just left here to die an unwanted death?

What if… they've forgotten?

Am I just someone who can be so easily replaced in their lives? Am I better off dead after all?

"Let's go, Father," Giriko said as he stepped into the cold room with a torch in hand. Justin didn't respond. He just stared at the blazing fire, wondering how such a thing can give so much hope yet can be so destructive. He mused about its wonderful uses as light and heat source (with which he could use in this insufferably cold and dark place); and its destructive traits such as the burns and the lack of oxygen in case one was trapped in a room of only fire and little space and lessening breathable air.

Fire… such a beautiful yet dangerous element, such a useful risk, such a blessing. And speaking of fire, the devil stepped closer to Justin, irritation burning in his eyes. Almost automatically, the blond curled in tighter on himself and prepared for another beating.

"Get up."

Oh, how such cold words contradicted the burning heat inside him, Justin mused as he blinked away the sudden fear that visibly flashed in his eyes. He didn't want another argument. But he had too little energy, considering that he didn't really bother to eat the ridiculous excuse of food that was brought to him ten hours or so ago.

He didn't really feel like complying with the request either, he never did. Even if he did try now, he'd just probably lose balance from the lack of proper nutrition and water and proper training and rest and heat and all that he had before that he doesn't have now, love included (that is, if he did have such a thing before; he can't really remember but he was pretty convinced that the company of his friends and colleagues was a good enough excuse for love).

"I don't understand," Justin mumbled almost incoherently, his voice a little rough from lack of usage and probably from the cold.

The brunette growled in exasperation and pulled him up forcibly. Justin's frail, thinner body limply followed the arm that was pulled up, exposing the warmly covered skin to the cold air. His head lolled towards the pull of gravity and he continued to stare at the brute.

He saw a flicker of worry in those brown eyes and wondered if he was starting to see things now. That or Giriko was playing around again.

Justin felt a warm arm around his thin waist and looked to see that the brunette had wrapped an arm around it, supporting his flaccid body. Before he could register anything else, Giriko pulled him closer and pulled him up, causing him to be heaved into a bridal carry.

It took him a while to register even that. Justin, other than feeling embarrassed (with which if he had enough blood in his system, it would probably be rushing to his cheeks now), tried to struggle free from Giriko's hold. His only problem was that he was too weak and could only muster strength equal to a young child's.

"Let me go," he said, almost meaning it half-heartedly. After all, he finally had a heat source for his shivering, cold body. Instinctively, he curled in closer to the warm body though he didn't mean to do so.

"No," Giriko said, unaffected by his prisoner's pathetic struggling strength-wise.

"Please just leave me to die…" Justine mumbled, only to still be ignored.

Giriko, though Justin didn't truly notice, was sneaking around the halls and hiding whenever some other black-clad men passed by or went up around the corner. The blond only became aware of that when he was brought into a corner darker than most in the fire-lit underground, or so he assumed.

"W-what are you doing?" he asked, fear obviously mixing up in the weak tone. Justin wasn't sure now which really made him weak and scared—if it was the darkness that ate them and held unknown things or the fact that Giriko was bringing him into a dark corner when he was at his most vulnerable.

Giriko shushed him harshly, which added to his fears. Justin prayed, his eyes closed tight and his shivering only worsening. "Hey, you all right?" the brute asked from above him, voice laced with worry. And as he did, the blond could feel being pulled closer into the warm body, shaking his head briefly. He caught sight of the eyes that watched him and looked away immediately.

After a few minutes and after making sure that whoever came around and walked by them was already gone, Giriko came back out into the open and walked down the corridors. Now Justin understood why he had to be brought into the dark corner. But the question about what the reason was for sneaking him out of that cell bothered him and added into the fear that diminished just a short while back.

However the man was still weak and so he could not really concentrate or register immediately where they turned or how far they went down a hall. He could only go in and out of sleep during that period. The next thing he knew was that he woke in a warm bed in a warm room with his stomach demanding for food. Hazy baby-blue eyes traveled the dully-painted, well-lit room and Justin saw that his captor wasn't around.

Well, for starters, at least he could escape easier this way. Justin forced his weak body into a sitting position. The world spun for a split second and dazed him for a short while before he could focus again.

"Um…"

The hesitant voice made the blond jump and he turned warily towards the direction. There in the corner was a little girl in a black cloak who was looking up at him timidly. "I'm sorry," she said in a soft voice, looking at the floor and stepping back a little.

She looked a few years older than Maka, Justin noticed. Her olive eyes watched him, bits of black hair falling in front of them. Her face was round, much like the student's, but her features were sharp. The priest narrowed his eyes at her and moved away. Who knows? This one might have a body that contained a witch, like Medusa's case.

Justin wondered if a girl like this could be trusted at a time like this. And if she was a witch, why would she evidently hide a bruising cheek and perceptively try not to limp when she walked towards him?

However his precaution was swept away by the tempting scent of food in her hands, though only momentarily. A tray was held between the girl's fingers where on top of it rested steaming bowls of rice and curry. At the side were the chopsticks, spoon and then a glass of water.

Justin's mouth watered at the sight. It wasn't much. But after a pretty long time of starvation, Justin knew that even just that would suffice since he didn't eat very much from the very start anyway.

The girl seemed to notice where his stare led and stepped even closer to him, walking around the bed. "Here," she said. "Mister Giriko said you'd better eat. He said you'd gone so thin and you had become so weak and he says he didn't want a rival like that."

Giriko. Of course. This was a trap. It had to be because it was too good to be true (though maybe not that good, judging by this girl's condition and the room and everything else within the room; then again, it may be worse so he didn't try to complain much about how good or bad things were). What did he expect? For all he knew, the brute could have put poison in it and told this girl to serve it to him. On the other hand, didn't Giriko say he didn't want to kill Justin? Ah, the wonders of that mad man's madness… It was limitless, considering all the confusion he has been giving the blond lately.

Justin's brows furrowed. "Giriko sent this?" he asked hesitantly, cautiously as he took the tray to his lap.

The girl nodded, her slightly fazed eyes not leaving his. "He was rather insistent that you eat…" she mumbled, her voice very soft and her stare far-away.

Justin stared at his food. Then he inspected it—smelling it, rummaging in it, watching for any bubbles or bits of pills.

"If you are quite suspicious, you may let me take a bite and I'll show you that it safe," the girl offered, almost automatically—as if she was used to being used as a tester first.

Justin looked up at her. Poor thing, he thought. She must have been told to say and do that. The blond couldn't help but feel his blood boil a little at the cruel ways of the brunette.

"No, it's all right," Justin said. If Giriko wanted to kill him, well… he didn't. But if he did, he was pretty sure that he wouldn't do it through this dirty, indirect way; because Giriko lived to personally kill and find joy in his victim's pain.

The girl nodded and left the room. Justin heard the click of the lock from the other side. So he was still kept in a prison cell. Only this one had a warm bed—which, he realized, could also be dangerous for him.

Giriko had wanted him back then. So what would stop him from trying again now? Well, other than what he said about Justin's purity and the thing with whatever other organization was out there, of course.

Justin ate quietly. He savored the delicious food that was given to him and contemplated about the food back at home. He thought about his friends and the nightmares about them that tugged at his conscience. Were they real (as in were they really haunting him) or did his imaginative mind make up the dreams because of his conscience?

What else was Giriko planning? How else did he intend to perplex Justin? Did he have some kind of engagement in mind now?! Because if he did,—and now that Justin had thought about that possibility—well, then that would make sense because the brunette did not truly care for anyone but himself. He had no friends to truly care about, no lover, no family. So what should keep him from treating his rival like shit? Because, seriously, Giriko would not be the same Giriko that Justin first met if he was not the sadistic, immature, jerk of a rival that he is.

Justin wondered about many other things, his escape included—one in particular included the choice of attempting suicide.

Justin flinched when the thought organized itself in his mind. He would look for a weapon, then he would kill himself. It would be better if he was in front of Giriko so he could give his rival a good show. And then his rival won't have a rival anymore.

That was how the idea was summarized. But Justin didn't like it. He didn't like the thought of death bestowed upon him by himself. It was disgusting. It was revolting. It was the last hope of a poor, desperate, suffering, mad soul. And Justin assured himself that he was not, in any way, a soul like that. Well, not yet thankfully.

He was a man of honor and religion. He took pride in his beliefs. And he had sworn to himself that he would die first before anyone could take down his spirit.

But I was wrong. It was easier said than done…Justin thought miserably as he finished his meal. He didn't believe as much anymore. And he's already been distanced from his god since that first night in capture. And it was ridiculous because it was so quickly cracked. If I mend it now… I wonder if I will be able to fix that crack…

Hours went by. The blond had not done so much but walk around, sit, observe the walls and furniture, and eat and drink for the second time. He could not help but suspect Giriko's motives as well as the girl who brought him the food and water; and, as he guessed, she soon brought him clothes as well.

He was on the bed, burying his head in the pillow, wondering just what the hell was going on, when the door opened for the nth time since he was brought here. Without much of a glance to the guest, Justin knew immediately it was Giriko.

The blond recognized the soul wavelength and the anger or irritation or whatever that emitted from him. That scent of death was hanging about him—now stronger than ever. Something was wrong.

The priest turned to face the newcomer and sat up warily. What made Justin frown in confusion was the fact that Giriko did not seem to be dangerous at all. Yes, that awful scent of death was about him but he did not seem to be in the mood to kill, to which Justin was relieved despite the fact that he can't read the brunette's facial expression. So instead of doing anything else, he chose to stare at the man.

He noticed that the man did not have his usually over-sized gloves around his arms. In their stead, bandages were wrapped tightly around his arms. A band-aid was stuck right across his cheek to the underside of his jaw.

Justin continued to stare. Giriko did not look like the type to use band-aids. Maybe bandages, yes. After all, those gloves did not look very gentle to the skin so he probably wore protection underneath them. But band-aids? He actually seemed like the guy who'd rather show off his battle scars so as to intimidate his opponents.

Giriko stared back at him equally as the blue-eyed man continued to speculate in the bed. He was surprised that the guy did not move and just stayed there. Maybe the bed was too comfortable? Or maybe he wasn't given the food and water. He wondered briefly if the girl remembered to give him brunch and dinner at all. Because if she didn't, well, the next time he sees her, she'll be dead as fuck. Had he not specifically told her to feed him at least twice today!?

After a while of waiting for something to come from him, Giriko sighed, knowing that nothing will happen. Justin will be as passive as ever—as he had always been. Passive, but not submissive. And stubborn. And doubtful, though that can't be helped.

"How are you doing?" Giriko asked, eyes leaving the blond's and hand going up behind his neck. He shuffled awkwardly in his place as he tried to make casual conversation. Though he didn't miss the way those blue orbs hardened with caution and the way the air between them became thicker.

"Why do you care?" The question was asked with steel-cold distrust, which didn't surprise the brunette.

"It's not that I specifically should care," Giriko said as he glanced back at the man in the bed. "I just can't help but do so."

The blond visibly tensed. If anything, he look angered and insulted. His stare hardened with determination and a fire that the brunette hadn't seen in a while.

Giriko watched with curiosity and growing irritation as Justin sit up on the bed, slouching so his head hung down just as much as his clothes did over his thin frame, but not so much that he couldn't see those blue orbs burning holes into him. Because he could and they were murderous. The plump, pretty lips were pressed tightly into a grim line before they snarled words at him. "Are you mocking me!?"

Giriko had to admit, though only ever to himself, he was surprised at this courage and boldness his 'slave' was displaying all so suddenly. He was surprised and he was pissed. Though he did not show it and only quirked up an eye brow. "Heh, what makes you say that?" he asked back challengingly.

"You hurt me. Badly. Then you tell me sugar-coated lies and expect me to believe them. And just then, as I was attaining eternal rest, you bring me food and warmth and clothes," Justin said with frustration. "And now, you're asking me how I am. Well, truthfully, I'm feeling quite ridiculous and very disappointed. Thanks for asking."

"Whoa, chill the fuck down, all right?" Giriko said. "I can't have you dead now, can I? With that organization after you and all…"

He stepped closer to the blond, who surprisingly kept still as he glared up at his captor, and leaned down just enough so they were at eye level with each other. "Besides, I don't want to lose a rival, let alone a person who I can't help caring for," he added with sort of a good intention and a badly held up smile (which also held good intention). In response, however, he received a slap in the face. And a hard one at that, too.

"Don't you play around with me, you brute!" Justin snarled at the engineer as he tried to register what had happened. "I'm tired of being played with and I'm tired of your filthy, dirty language!"

"Oh… Is this what your renewed vigor is all about now?" Giriko growled back as quickly, taking Justin by the front of his plain white shirt. "Or did that stupid girl give you specific instructions on how to get me started?"

There was a flash of recognition in those blue eyes at the mention of the other slave, followed that was an angrier drive. "She said nothing to me," Justin said firmly.

"So she didn't…" Giriko mumbled as he looked to the side thoughtfully. "But maybe she tried through some other way… Maybe she wrote to you, signaled you, or maybe even spelled it out."

Justin did not like the way that the brute's eyes were darkening. They weren't angry, for one. But they weren't happy either. In truth, they seem to show the many ways of torture the brute seemed to be thinking. So he tried desperately to bring Giriko's attention back at him and only him.

"No unnecessary contact was made, I assure you," the blond insisted. When Giriko did not look convinced, he tried the first regrettable option that entered his mind. "I'll bet my life on it. I swear that nothing unnecessary was done."

At the gamble, his captor's eyes lit up. Giriko's stare was brought back into the blue-eyed blond's, as was his full attention now. "Oh? You bet your life on it?" he asked, voice filled with deviousness.

"Yes," Justin said resolutely. Yet in the back of his mind, he was wondering why he was risking his life on a girl he did not know. Under normal circumstances, Justin would always look for another way to save someone without compromising himself. Even in this situation, he knew there would always be other ways. But he had settled for this—entrusting his life to a rival, his captor and a man he would last turn to—no wait, he'd never even consider turning to—even if all the madness in the world would start eating everything up. "If you can prove me wrong, then you can have my life."

"Hm… Does that include your full attention?"

"Yes, it's all yours."

"Your body?"

"Yes, yours."

"Your soul, your heart and your mind?"

"Yes."

"Your faith and everything else that goes with it?"

"…yes."

"And if I am wrong?"

"You will free me from this hell."

"Nice shot but no," Giriko said flatly with an unamused stare.

Justin knew it was a long shot but it was worth a try, maybe. "Then my life remains to be mine and you may not take control over it," Justin said. "However, you may not hurt, blackmail or even dare to threaten the girl or anybody else to prove me wrong… Simply because I know that I am not."

"Well, isn't that gutsy?" Giriko laughed, all anger and annoyance gone now. "This is new, priest. I haven't seen you so determined and brave in a long while."

Justin frowned. What was that supposed to mean, exactly? Well, whatever. Now he had some kind of assurance that Giriko would not touch the girl, at least.

His shirt was let go of and he was set back upon the bed gently, much to his surprise. He looked up at the brunette and felt his heart warm up at the small but tender action. Why it did that, he did not know the reason but he did somewhat like it.

No, it shouldn't even warm up like that because, damn, that was just ridiculous. What it should be doing is not warming up but instead steeling up into a cold, dark void that would only be that way towards Giriko and the like, mostly Giriko.

"All right but if you have conditions, then I also have mine," Giriko said. "It's simple, don't worry. All you have to do is the same towards the girl. You can't talk to her or give her a clue of any kind about this. 'Unnecessary contact', as you put it, will be avoided."

"Deal," Justin said. He didn't have any kind of thought like that in mind anyway. Though, he had to admit, that was quite perceptive of the engineer. Maybe he wasn't as stupid as he let out to be.

"However, I want some kind of reassurance that you will comply," Giriko added and Justin wanted to groan and just plan his escape already… or sleep. Now what?

"You don't need it. I know I keep my words."

"Yeah, you do. But do I?"

Justin frowned. A few more things were said that would ensure Justin's everything to Giriko. Obviously, the man had been looking for some sort of crack to push through the deal and get to Justin.

Shortly after their little agreement, Giriko left the room, giving Justin another full hour to himself before the girl came back with a new set of clothes, obviously still clueless about the deal in which she was the subject.

"'Just in case you might feel like changing,' Mister Giriko said," were her exact words.

Justin only nodded and stared at her as she left before he inspected the new change of clothes and put them on, neatly folding his old ones and stacking them on a pile by his bed.

In a few days, Justin got more visits from just the girl. She gave him food and water. And even without him asking, she had told him that Giriko was out on some sort of mission and wouldn't be around for about a day more. Justin could only nod and watch her leave before he'd touch the food or clean clothes.

There were times she'd even leave a towelette and a basin of clean water for him to use to clean himself with, which he was grateful for. He still felt like taking a shower though because he could never really clean his head of hair with just a towelette and a basin of water after all.

Justin tried to look for escape routes. He knows now from just listening to the silence—which was something he had to really get used to without his iPod and earphones around—that there was a guard outside who (often silently) changes shifts with another every six hours. He had also heard that the girl did not need to ask for permission to enter—which probably means that she herself holds a key to his cell.

However the question was left hanging—should he take the key from her and escape this hell hole without much thought about her if Giriko found out that she is the reason his rival had escaped?

Justin told himself that there may be other ways. Though, with the constantly-coming food that suspiciously seemed to contain drugs (those which would hold him back from exerting too much effort on anything), it seemed impossible that he'd make it through safely with the girl unharmed. He longed to bring her in a safer environment, in a place where she wouldn't be just anybody to order around.

He somehow wanted to resc—

Justin's thoughts were interrupted as the door opened and Giriko came walking in, a cigarette between his lips. His eyes pointedly stared through Justin and he was grinning smugly.

"You lost the deal, priest. You're mine now."

A/N: No, I'm not yet dead. Maybe dead busy with so much workload but dead with writing, no. And I probably will never die (or my enthusiasm in writing) because there's just so much energy in me that I can't even consider dying out on writing stories like this. The plot bunny will never die and neither will the magical pot of passion from where I get my inspiration from.

So anyway, I've been rereading some of the readers' comments and I was pushed into writing mode again. Thanks guys, for the support. I always appreciate your reviews and the faves and watches :D

And yeah, I've noticed that Justin's way of speaking is very OOC from his usual verse-like, priest-like way of speaking in the anime. I apologize for only noticing now. Either way, I'll continue writing this way because I simply cannot write that way.

As I said in the author's note from the last chapter, I'm sort of starting to stray from my original plot. But I promise that I will make this one turn out to be way better than my first idea. I've completely remade the whole plot and all I just need now is even more drive and all the time in the world to be able to write.

Come take a wild guess, how many times have I changed this story's plot, do you think?

R&R. (The more reviews, the faster the update—because you guys are awesome)