STEF POV
What I was feeling was more anger then anyone could ever feel. How as I suppose to even process this. How could anyone even process this? I don't.. I don't even know what I heard or if I had heard correctly. Brandon and Callie had sex? My children has sex with one another. Yes wrap your head around that. Sure as a parent I knew my kids would mess up, would make stupid mistakes, and I would hope they wouldn't repeat those mistakes. One could hope and my kids had made there fair share...but this one. How...how was I going to fix this. This one was out there for everyone to see, it was on the internet, it was all over social media, it was traveling around like wildfire, and it could possibly turn ugly legally. I Knew I had broken a lot of rules in terms of making sure Robert would have no chance at getting Callie, I knew that and I had fought my hardest for her and I always would. But I was blindside for sure by this one. I mean how could they lie to us? After all this time..I just didn't get it. I didn't understand, how could they look me in the face and Lena in the face and lie for months. How?
Looking at my daughter I saw the tears continue to fall down her face and I knew she felt bad, I knew she felt ashamed, I knew this but I was trying so hard not to boil over.I was trying so hard not to scream, not to make her feel even worse then I knew she already felt. But..neither her or Brandon with there impulsive and stupid act knew of the real consequences this could lead to. They just had no idea...of the mess...of the mess we would have to clean up. Non at all as I glanced once again to my little girl who had avoided my eyes like the plague as I heard her sniffles and passed her a tissue.
Callie Adams Foster...there was no going back..and she would always remain my daughter no matter what she did, and as a mother you didn't just give up on your kids if they fucked up, no matter if they were biologically yours or not. I had vowed to be her mother even when I was just her foster mother and I wasn't one to give up on anyone, ever especially my babies. And she still was my baby very much even if I could smack her right now for Callie, unfortunately, was known for making mistakes and acting without thinking many times. I thought we had..I thought we had gotten past the keeping secrets, I thought we had once she told me the real reason a few months ago why she wanted to live with Robert. That one she had carried around for weeks..and I didn't know how she even could do it. But she had...and she had once again and the day she finally revealed it to me felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. For one reason or another I always had a sense when something was wrong with Callie. When something was bugging her or something just wasn't right. This time really had been no different at all. But..I thought possibly my sensors were off but maybe they had not been. I knew she was upset about our misunderstanding in terms of AJ, I knew was she irritated with me and Lena about her intense involvement with Fost and Found and signing that ridiculous bill that she knew nothing about. I knew all of that. But it didn't explain her level of anger or irritation toward us, especially to me. She had clearly been..been almost picking fights with me since her adoption, and in some sense she had seemed distant. I of course fully blame myself for if I had not needed surgery, if Lena and I had not had our share of problems and the mess of other things going on maybe I would have seen what was really going on. Maybe if I had not left Idyllwild early that night claiming I had a fake headache, maybe if I had been a better communicator to my wife...maybe...maybe this crazy thing between my son and daughter would not have happened. Just maybe if I had not been so distracted, or if Lena and I had not been so distracted...and...and I just don't get how...how I could have missed this. How I could not have seen this. Or did I not want to see it. Or did I not want to believe it.
"Mom, I'm sorry." I suddenly heard her say as my eyes instantly looked into hers which remained tear stained as what I had heard her call me. Oh Callie...she had no idea how long I waited for her to call me mom. No idea and I could literally feel my heart break. I wanted nothing more then to get out of this chair and hug her to pieces. But the anger I was feeling, the betrayal I was feeling was blocking that. As much as I didn't want it to block it for...for that word had so much meaning to it. So much and I knew it wasn't easy for her to call me that...especially now. I knew it..and even if I loved the sound of it, and I loved the fact that she had spoken it I didn't know how to respond in the way that I knew I should.
"Callie go back to class. We will talk about this later." I said much harsher then I wanted as my eyes looked back to the floor as I couldn't bare to look into hers. I knew that response was not the one she wanted to hear from me. I knew it but I had to calm down. I had to...I had to process this...and I knew Lena and I would need to speak to both her and Brandon, and I knew...I knew Callie was feeling like we no longer would want her. I knew where her brain was going even if she failed to say it right this second. I would some how have to ...have to reassure her that we still loved her, that she was still my daughter and that no, even if her and Brandon had done something so stupid that we still wanted her very much. That she was still apart of our family just as much as he was. Of course I was going to kill my son when I saw him. I was going to rip into him like no other for he knew better. He knew much better then this but I had to keep my mind calm as I saw Callie soon get up and grab her things walking to the door. My eyes gazed at her as she stood awkwardly in front of the door and I knew...I knew she would say something before she left. She was just like me. Identical.
"I...I didn't try to scam my way into ..into your family." she blurted out as I could only stare into her eyes as that thought never crossed my mind ever. I knew she never scammed her way into our lives or our family. I knew she loved us and I knew she just wanted to be apart of us. I knew that very well as I shook my head.
"Callie, I never said you did." I voiced as her face looked confused and defensive. Almost like she doubted me.
"But...I I know you think...I know you think I'm manipulative."
What? Goodness...this kid...we still had so much work to do. We really did. We really did for this was far beyond the truth. Manipulative...did she not see the person she really was. Caring, kind, puts other first before herself. Does she still not see this. But I had to remember...I really had to remember it had only been a year that she came into our lives and my baby had issues for deeper then I sometimes realized. But again...I couldn't talk about this right now with her. It was not the time and it was not the place anymore...and I didn't want to discuss anymore without Lena.
"Callie...I don't think that. We will talk about this later. The best thing right now is for you to go back to class...This is not something I can just process in ten minutes. It's just not." I said as she remained by the door staring more intensely then ever at me. I had to give it to her where most of my kids would cease to talk after I had gotten angry Callie was truly the one to stand up to me.
"Look if you want to...if you want to reverse my adoption, if you don't want me to be your daughter anymore...I'll understand. I will. I...I know I made a horrible mistake. A mistake I can't take back ever, and If I could I would. I would take it back everyday and I've regretted not telling you. I have. Just...just you don't know how much...how much I love you. The love I have for you Mom and the love I have for Mama...I...I never felt that since my mother died. And I never thought I could ever..feel love again and..and I did..and I have never felt so happy in my entire life. I haven't and I'm sorry I betrayed you, I'm sorry I lied again. If...if you want me to go home and pack my things...I..I can. I'll leave and...and you won't have to hear from me again. Ever."
As I listened fully to what she spoke to me...I knew it wasn't easy for her to reveal any of that as I saw the tears fall down her face once again more then ever. I knew I couldn't let her go back to class feeling this way. Feeling like we didn't love her, or didn't want her as I predicted she would feel. And..and to hear her think that we would...un adopt her? Was...I just...I would never even consider that and that was never anything that would ever cross my mind. Ever. No matter what she did, ever she was always always Callie Adams Foster and I would never, and Lena would never in a million years kick her out. Never tell her to pack her bags and leave, never. I could only let out a loud sigh at these wild thoughts she had.
"Callie sit down." I said as she looked surprised to me once again. I needed to set this straight the best I could.
NOTE: Next chapter will be there talk. It is a three parts.