The Ultimate Konoha Idol!

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, iTunes, or anything else mentioned in this chapter. So now that the competition *finally* starts, we'll be listing the songs used at the end of every chapter. We tried to use as wide of range of genres as we had access to, and that weren't already overused, so some songs may be unfamiliar. If you guys have any wsuggestions for songs to use later, feel free to share :)

**

CHAPTER 4: The Contest Finally Begins!

Early the next morning, Naruto woke up. He was super happy! The only thing that could make him happier was a bowl of ramen. The previous evening, he looked on iTunes and found an extremely cool song. In fact, it was so cool, he was singing it in his dream.

First he sang it in the competition and blew everyone else away. The judges – Iruka, Kakashi, and Sakura, who was in love with Naruto in the dream – loved it.

"And the winner is…Naruto!!" said Kurenai.

Then Naruto had become Hokage because everyone loved his singing. Sasuke had also been given the 'Most Uncool Person Alive' Oscar. Naruto had won the 'Most Cool Person Alive' Oscar. The rest of the dream seemed to be about Lee and Guy balancing bowls of ramen on their heads. Just before the dream finished, the Third Hokage taught Naruto the proper way to drink a cuppa tea.

Naruto was beaming with happiness as he poured his milk into his favorite glass. He ate his favorite cereal, Ramen Krispies (think Rice Krispies, only with cut up ramen noodles). Happily gobbling up his toast, he went out onto the streets on Konoha.

*

"His milk's expired."

Kurenai peered curiously at Naruto's milk carton.

Kakashi nodded. "He always drinks expired milk."

"Expired milk on competition day?"

"Yeah."

"Is he nuts?"

"Yeah."

"Is that the fourth Make Out Paradise novel you're reading?"

"Yeah."

"Will you keep saying that?"

"Yeah." Kakashi analyzed the situation. "You're spying on the competition, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"That's my line."

Kurenai got up and left Naruto's house.

*

Later that morning, the training ground where the pile incident had occurred was completely transformed.

Two of the three tree stumps were used to hold up a banner that read: "Konoha Idol!!" Nearby a table with three chairs was set up. Presumably this was the judges' table.

"I wonder who the outside judges are," wondered Naruto, walking around the show's grounds.

"I don't know," replied Sasuke, "and I don't really care, either. Whoever they are, even if they are extremely biased for you, I'm going to kick your butt."

"No!" said Naruto. "I will! I even foresaw that event in my dream! It was the competition-"

"Aha! Arguments!" said Lee. "A sure sign of youth! However, none of your will beat me and my youthfulness!"

Sakura was sitting nearby.

"It's 'my youthfulness and me!'" she muttered under her breath. "Whoever the judges are, I just hope that they consider the grammar of the song!"

Part of the training ground had been roped off to be a kind of stage. The ground was at a slightly higher level, making it ideal. Chairs had been set up around this 'stage', presumably for contestants to watch the auditions.

"I wonder if the Hokage will be there!" giggled Naruto. "I'll show him! My song will clearly show that I am the ideal candidate for being the Fifth Hokage!"

"Aren't you a little young?" asked Kakashi. "Besides, the ideal Hokage is someone who is an experienced shinobi, is able to make decisions that could determine the survival of the village, has extensive knowledge, values the village, and who the village can look to in times of peril. Not to mention someone who has leadership skills. Not one word of that concerns singing talent, which might actually be a blessing if you want to become Hokage, Naruto."

"But my song is all about being Hokage!"

"I assume it goes like this: 'I wanna be Hokage, yes I do, yes I do! I wanna be Hokage, and I will be!' All in a little kid's voice."

"I'm not a little kid! Besides, it's better than Lee's song! It's probably like this: Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuthful, I am youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuthful!!!"

"Ookay."

"You won't say that after you hear my song, sung in such expertness-"

"MY SONG ISN'T ABOUT YOUTHFULNESS!!!!!!!" protested…you guess. "Okay, it is, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE SONG!!"

"Ah-hem." Everyone glanced around to see Iruka had just arrived with the masters. Silence immediately fell over the clearing.

Iruka stepped onto the makeshift 'stage' and picked up the microphone. "All right, welcome, everyone, to the first-ever Konoha Idol competition! Today is our first round in which the judges will vote who goes on to the next part!"

"Where are the judges?" demanded Tenten.

"Well – they should be here in-"

Before Iruka could finish, there was a POOF and smoke engulfed the stage. Ino, Naruto, and Sakura screamed girlishly.

As soon as the smoke cleared, they could all see the three imposing ninja standing next to Iruka; Naruto let out a groan and Kiba complained, "Why are they here?"

"We're the judges, dummy," said the female ninja.

"Everyone, please give a hand for our judges: Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara!" Iruka announced.

"But… they're Sand Ninja!" shouted Kiba.

Gaara stepped to the edge of the stage. "Shut up now or I will kill you," he hissed. Everyone shut their mouths in fear for their lives.

A rather awkward moment of silence passed before Iruka cleared his throat. "Let's get started, shall we?"

The judges took their seats at the table, while the masters sat in the front row of chairs. The rest of the students filed to their places nervously.

"I can't believe the masters are letting them judge," Sakura whispered to her teammates, glancing anxiously at the Sand Ninja.

"The creep, the freak, and the fan girl," concurred Sasuke.

"Not to mention they might kill us if we sing badly," Naruto pointed out cheerfully.

Hinata paled. "T-they w-wouldn't r-r-really, w-would they, N-naruto?"

Sakura hit Naruto on the head again. "Idiot! Stop scaring her!"

*

Meanwhile, Iruka conferred with the judges. "So all you have to do is vote 'yes' or 'no' for each contestant," he explained. "It's really simple. Any questions?"

"Are we getting paid for this?" asked Kankuro.

"Um…" said Iruka, "I'll get back to you on that." He turned to the restless crowd and announced, "Well then! It's time for round one to officially begin! Who will go first?"

Master Guy jumped to his feet. "The most YOUTHFUL, of course!" he shouted.

Iruka blanched. "Well, um, actually we're just going to pick names from a hat…" Kurenai approached him with what looked suspiciously like the Hokage's hat. Iruka reached inside and pulled out a slip of paper. He read aloud, "And first up is… Aburame Shino!"

There were a couple scattered cheers, which faded as curious whispers broke out.

"What's he going to sing?" wondered Naruto as the bug expert shuffled to the stage in his typical long trench coat and sunglasses.

Temari took out a notepad and wrote down his name. "So, um, state what you'll be singing?"

"'I am a Rock' by Simon and Garfunkel," replied Shino.

"It's NOT about puppets?" exclaimed Kankuro. "That's a crime!"

"Not everyone here is obsessed with puppets, Kankuro," sighed Gaara.

"Excuse me," asked Temari, "but do we get drinks?"

"CAN WE START ALREADY??" shrieked Kurenai.

"No need to bust our eardrums," said Kankuro. "The bad singing will-"

Kurenai glared at him.

"I mean, we are the judges, and we need our lovely ears to listen to all the *ahem* wonderful singing!"

"I'm here," said Shino.

"Right," said Kurenai. "Can we start now?"

Everyone nodded and replied, "Yes."

"About my previous question…" asked Temari.

"Right," said Kurenai again, and went off to get some drinks. A few minutes later she came back. She handed Temari a can of Coke, Kankuro a 7-UP, and Gaara, Root Beer.

"Now can we please finally start?"

Everyone nodded again.

"A winter's day," began Shino, "in a deep and dark December…"

Sluuuuurp. Sluuuuuuurp.

"Don't slurp, dear," cautioned Kurenai, glaring at Kankuro.

"Oh," said Kankuro. "Sorry, ma'am."

"I am alone," continued Shino. "Gazing from my window, to the streets below-"

Naruto suddenly began laughing. Kiba punched him in the face.

"I am a rock! I am an island!" Shino continued, tapping his foot to the music. Around him, bugs were jumping and twirling to the music.

"I have walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate." Randomly he glared at Kankuro.

"What'd I do?" complained Kankuro.

"You slurped while he was singing, for one thing," pointed out Temari.

"I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain, it's laughter, and it's something I disdain!"

"This song isn't about Shino," argued Naruto. "Shouldn't it at least be about bugs?"

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO THE LYRICS, YOU IDIOT?!" screamed Sakura. "THE SONG DOESN'T HAVE TO RELATE TO HIM PHYSICALLY!!"

"Quiet!" said Gaara quietly. "Or I'll kill you!"

"Silence!" warned Kurenai. "If this keeps going on, I may have to fire you from your job as judges."

"Does that mean we are getting paid for this?" asked Kankuro.

"Continue like that," said Kurenai, "and you won't gain any benefits associated with this job, if there are any."

Kankuro kept his mouth shut after that. After all, it was a possibility they would give out free puppets.

Somehow Shino had finished the rest of his song without any further interruptions, from Kankuro or otherwise. He gave a small bow to the audience, and then walked coolly to the judges' table to hand in the mike.

It took the audience a few shocked seconds of silence to realize it was over; they began to clap hesitantly.

"I didn't know he could even talk, nevertheless sing!" commented Naruto.

"Yay! You have finally shown your YOUTHFULNESS!" exclaimed Lee.

"Well, I suppose we judge now," said Kankuro to his siblings. He turned the microphone back on, which emitted a loud screech. The audience of genin covered their ears and glared at him.

"Sorry!" Kankuro said, his voice amplified over the screeching mike. "But, at least I have your attention now."

"Kankuro," hissed Temari, "give me that!" She snatched the mike from him, which immediately stopped the noise.

"Ha! It doesn't like you!" snickered Naruto.

Temari cleared her throat. "Anyway, EVERYONE SHUT UP! That's better. Hey, Shino, I was wondering… why did you pick this song?"

Shino explained quietly, "I am a rock. I don't need anyone except for my bugs."

"…" The judges exchanged glances.

"Ookay…now for our votes on the first contestant, Aburame Shino." Temari paused. "I thought he gave a pretty good rendition of an old song."

She handed the mike to Kankuro, who thankfully did not put his fingers on the speaker this time, so he didn't bust the audience's ears. "It was okay," he shrugged.

"Boo!" Kiba yelled, while Akamaru howled.

Kankuro passed the mike to Gaara.

"He sucked," the creepy sand ninja said simply.

"WHAAAAAT!?" shouted Kiba. "I bet he did a better job than you ever could, you –"

"K-Kiba, s-sit down," stuttered Hinata nervously, as Gaara gave them a death glare.

"Shut up now, or I will kill you," he growled.

Iruka quickly stepped onstage. "Sorry, no killing. It's in the rules – the only rule, actually."

Gaara turned his icy blue (not green) gaze on the master. "I can do whatever I want."

"No, you can't," Iruka explained patiently. "Or I'll take it up with your master."

"He isn't here," said Kankuro.

"Then I'll fire you."

"Good," said Gaara, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. "I don't want to be in this stupid contest, anyway."

"GAARA!" Temari gasped, "Stop being so rude! Or I'll ground you for a month!"

"Hn," said Gaara, not caring.

"And I'll take away your allowance, too!"

Gaara thought for a moment. No allowance meant no money to buy cookies. No cookies meant sad Gaara.

"Fine." Gaara glared at Iruka. "I'll stay, for now."

Iruka sighed, glad that was over. "All right. Who's up next?" He drew a name from what was definitely the Hokage's hat. "Uchiha Sasuke! Come up here, please."

**

Please review!

Shino's song - "I Am A Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel