AN: I'm actually crazy. I'm updating even though I have tons of work to do for classes. Oh well. As the youths say: YOLO!
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Thank you all for reading!
Lucy sipped her tea slowly as she sat across from Cana in the campus coffee shop. Both girls kept looking towards the door and silently played on their phones. They already knew Levy would be late. It was a Wednesday. Levy was always late on Wednesdays.
The two girls' heads snapped up in union when the door burst open with a loud bang. A timid "Sorry" was mumbled to no one in particular and then Levy was rushing towards them, arms full of books. It amazed Lucy that Levy didn't have amazing biceps from the amount of textbooks she always carried.
"Sorry I'm late! I got caught up in the library, some freshmen came in and couldn't find the Shakespeare section and –"
"Then after you pointed out where they needed to go you went right back to hooking up with Gajeel," Cana finished, mimicking Levy's exhausted tone. A smirk played on her lips as Levy's face flushed.
"N-no way! Gajeel and I aren't like that! We're just coworkers, we're barely even friends…" Levy trailed off, frowning more to herself than the two girls beside her.
Lucy smiled to Cana, silently raising an eyebrow at her friend while she pushed a cup of tea towards Levy. "Come on, Lev. You know that's a lie. Gajeel absolutely adores you. I know for a fact. Natsu sent me a snap of Gajeel talking about how much he likes you," Lucy confessed, biting her lip on a smile when Levy's face snapped up towards her.
"Yeah right!" Levy said, rolling her eyes as she took the tea in her hands. The light dusting of pink on her cheeks let Lucy know that she was pleased with the information nonetheless. But suddenly Levy's expression turned sly and she shot Lucy a challenging look. "So when are you and Natsu going to be official? I mean after that snapchat debacle you'd think the deal would be sealed by now."
Lucy flinched and broke eye contact with her friend. She let her mind wonder back a few weeks to that memory…
Lucy was still smiling when Levy finally came back to the room. Phone in hand, she was watching Laxus' snapstory over and over again. Yeah, maybe that was creepy, but so what? She liked to be reminded of what Natsu went through just to make her smile…
When Levy walked back into their shared dorm, Lucy bolted straight up in bed. "Oh my gosh, Lev! I have to tell you something!"
"Is it that you finished your bio homework like you said you would?" Levy said, her tone slightly sarcastic as she gave Lucy a knowing look.
Shaking her head once, Lucy said, "No! Although – yeah, I finished the work. But more importantly –!"
"Does this have to do with Laxus' snapstory? 'Look, here's my boyfriend Lu!'" Levy said, trying to mimic Natsu's voice and failing considerably.
Lucy laughed more with happiness than humor. She nodded her head, still grinning. "Yeah, you saw that?! Oh my gosh. But here's how it started out!"
And then Lucy was telling Levy everything that happened, starting with Cana's snapchat and ending with the last message she'd sent Natsu. When Lucy got to the part where she sent Natsu a shirtless picture, Levy had gasped, but Lucy quickly went on, telling Levy that Natsu had immediately made her feel better. Levy had climbed into her bed as Lucy spoke, both girls sitting like pretzels while facing each other, clutching pillows to their chest.
"Wow, Lu, Natsu did that just to make you feel better?" Levy said, a huge grin on her face as she squeezed her pillow harder to her chest.
Lucy had been smiling for so long that her cheeks felt numb, but she couldn't stop. "I know!" she squealed, putting her own pillow over her face. "Ugh," she moaned happily, falling back onto her bed. Smiling up at her plain white ceiling, she said, "Natsu is seriously the best."
And then Levy had laughed in a way that made Lucy sit back up. "What?" she asked, her smile finally falling when confusion overtook her expression.
"'Natsu is seriously the best!'" Levy teased, holding a hand to her heart dramatically. Then her face fell into a sly grin and she wiggled her brows at Lucy. "Just admit it, Lu, you like him!"
"I do not!" Lucy had argued, flustered. She hopped off her bed and started to get ready to sleep. "He's just a great friend," she explained, grabbing her face wash and tooth brush.
"Uh-huh," Levy said knowingly, and Lucy didn't need to turn around to know that her friend was smirking. "I'm a great friend, but I don't see you smiling up at the ceiling talking about how great I am."
"Oh give it a rest! I don't like him, okay?" Lucy said seriously, turning around to give Levy a "please drop it" look.
"Whatever you say," Levy agreed, putting her hands up in defense.
"Hey, earth to Lucy!" Cana's voice said, and Lucy snapped out of her thoughts just in time to turn her head and get pelted in the face with a packet of sugar. "Thinking about Natsu again?"
But Cana's comment was drowned out when Lucy said, "I do not like him!" to Levy at the same time.
"Don't like who?" Levy asked, laughter in her eye as she brought her cup to her lips, taking a drink from her tea.
"Oh, don't play that with me!" Lucy said, her eyebrows pulling together in annoyance. "You know exactly who I'm talking about."
"Who are you talking about?" Cana asked, smiling at Levy.
Lucy's mouth fell open. Hadn't she and Cana just been teaming up on Levy? How could she?! "Who's side are you even on!?" Lucy cried, looking at Cana with utter betrayal.
Cana just smirked and pulled a water bottle out of her bag. She poured whatever was really in it into her coffee and shrugged at Lucy. "I don't pick sides. I swing both ways." Cana chuckled as her friends rolled their eyes at her double meaning.
"Natsu! Okay. I was talking about Natsu, jeez," Lucy moaned, throwing her hands up in defeat.
"You were talking about me?"
Lucy squeaked and jumped, glaring as her friends giggled at her startled reaction. She turned to her side to see Natsu standing a few feet away from their table. His hands were casually tucked into the pockets his ripped, black skinny jeans, and his head was tilted to the side in open curiosity.
Lucy was blushing madly. "Oh – no, not really!"
"She was just saying how excited she is to go on this date with you!" Cana said in an uncharacteristically innocent tone, kicking Lucy under the table as she spoke. Lucy's eyes widened, and she kicked Cana back with twice the force. She glared back at Lucy, but otherwise she didn't even flinch.
Not daring to look at Natsu, Lucy quickly amended Cana's statement. "I didn't call it a date! It's not a date, we're just studying in the quad. It's not a date at all," Lucy rambled nervously. Giving herself an excuse to avoid eye contact with Natsu awhile longer, Lucy leaned down and picked up the small cooler she'd filled with food and drinks. Natsu had only agreed to tutor her in bio if she provided lunch. But Lucy had a feeling he would have done it anyway.
"Oh, sorry. It's just that having lunch on the quad seems so romantic to me," Cana pushed, leaning down at an awkward angle. Lucy assumed she was rubbing the spot where she had kicked, and for some reason that made her smile.
"Cana," she rolled her eyes, "its spring. Tons of students study on the quad? It's super nice out. Plus I'm always out there sunbathing anyway, might as well get some studying in while I do."
"Oh yeah," Cana nodded, and Lucy didn't like the glint in her eyes one bit. "I do see you sitting out there in those skimpy outfits, getting all that attention from guys."
"I do not get attention from guys," Lucy argued in mild confusion. What was Cana even talking about?
"You get tons of attention from guys! Remember that one guy you let feel you up at a party?" Cana said, her smirk seeming to go unnoticed by everyone except for Lucy.
"Wait, what?" Natsu asked, his voice seeming as if he'd gotten lost in their conversation and was just resurfacing now.
"Nothing!" Lucy was quick to say.
"Oooo-kay," Natsu said, filling the awkward silence that had settled upon the group. He was looking at Lucy with furrowed eyebrows, and it was clear by his expression that he was probably thinking about how weird she was.
Sighing and forcing all negative thoughts out of her mind, Lucy stood up and grabbed Natsu's wrist in her hand. "We should get going now! Bye Levy! Bye Cana!"
"Uh – b-bye guys!" Natsu called, letting Lucy drag him out of the café without waiting for a response from their friends.
Lucy shifted the strap of her backpack on her left shoulder, fiddling with it just to give herself something to do while Natsu stood a few feet away, surrounded by sorority girls.
"Um, can you sign this headshot?" one girl asked shyly, shoving a picture and a sharpie at Natsu. The rest of her friends around her were giggling relentlessly.
Where she stood, Lucy tried her best not to roll her eyes as she looked at the scene before her. The girls had to be freshmen, no one else bought the headshots of the sports stars from the school store. And if they did, they definitely didn't ask to get them signed.
Natsu snorted but took the sharpie in his hand anyway. "Don't these things cost money? You should buy other stuff, not my picture!" he laughed, looking down as he signed his name.
"No way," the girl immediately protested, "Your picture is totally worth the money."
"If you say so," Natsu shrugged, handing it back to her with an unconvinced smile.
"You're totally the best player on the team!" another girl gushed, obviously sensing that they were about to lose Natsu's attention.
At that, Natsu grinned. His chest puffed out a little with pride, but he shook his head nevertheless. "Nah, that's not true. We're all good. And Gray might be a little better than me – ya know, when both my ankles are sprained and I have a concussion," he quickly amended, making the girls around him laugh.
"You're so sweet and funny. I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend!" the same girl said, causing all her friends to chime in with "Yeah!" and "Me too!" and "I totally can't believe you're single!"
Lucy couldn't bite her tongue anymore. She accidentally let out a small giggle, causing one of the girls to glare in her direction. She only smiled back.
"Eh, I ain't that great," Natsu shrugged, scratching his nose. Lucy almost laughed again at how oblivious he was.
"Well," the same girl said, stepping forward a bit. "Since you don't have a girlfriend, could I have your number?"
Lucy's eyes widened. The rest of the girls in the group bit their lips on smiles, obviously trying to hold in nervous giggles. Natsu, on the other hand, outright laughed. The sound wasn't mean or harsh, it was more humorous, as if she'd just told him a funny story.
"My number? Why would ya want that?" he asked, still laughing a little to himself.
The girl smiled at him, clearly pleased that he hadn't rejected her. Her eyes trailed down to his stomach as he leaned back to stretch his arms, causing his loose fitting tank top to lift up a bit. Lucy had to admit that the light dusting of pink hair leading down into the waist line of his jeans was pretty eye catching.
"She's trying to ask you out," one of the other girls blurted out, causing the group to fall back into a frenzy of giggles.
Natsu laughed along with them as the girl swatted a hand at her friend, her cheeks blazing red. Lucy had a feeling the girl's anger was just for show though; she seemed pretty bold, her friend's comment probably hardly phased her.
"Ask me out? But we're already outside?" Natsu said, looking confused as he finally walked away from the girls. The look of disappointment on all of their faces almost made Lucy feel bad. Almost. Taking her wrist in his hand, Natsu began walking away while saying his goodbyes to his fans. "I gotta go study with Lucy now. I'll see ya guys around!"
As they walked away, Lucy heard a bitter moan, and someone whine, "She's so lucky!" But was she really? It wasn't like her and Natsu were actually a thing…
After a few moments, Natsu let go of Lucy's wrist so that he could take the cooler out of her hand, which Lucy was very thankful for. It had gotten pretty heavy while she was waiting for Natsu to be done with his fangirls. Switching the cooler to his right hand, Natsu smoothly slid his free hand back into Lucy's. This time he laced his fingers through hers, and she bit her lip, trying not to give too much of a reaction. Did Natsu hold anyone else's hand? It seemed so out of character of him, but maybe it wasn't.
"You're pretty oblivious, you know," Lucy offered, glancing at Natsu as they walked through main campus.
"Huh?" he said, snapping his head towards her with a very adorably confused expression.
Lucy giggled. "See?" she said, and shook her head, fighting off a smile. "Those girls back there were totally into you. Didn't you notice at all?"
"I mean, they like how I play soccer, sure. But it's not like they know me or anything…"
The concentrated frown on Natsu's face let Lucy know that he was trying very hard to understand what she was saying. Sighing, she tried a different approach. "Well, they wanted to get to know you. Don't you like girls?" Lucy asked, her voice coming out way more hesitant than she had intended.
This was a conversation she knew she would have to have with Natsu eventually. When they first met and Natsu hadn't made any moves on her, she'd at first thought he was taken. Or maybe just trying to get on her good side. But then she'd found out he was single, and weeks passed and he hadn't tried anything still. She'd liked that about him at first, not used to guys respecting her, especially guys in frats. But it made her wonder…
She'd vaguely heard of the term asexual before. She didn't know too much about it, but from what she had gathered she was assuming it described people who weren't interested in sex. And Lucy thought maybe that's how Natsu was. Then she heard the term aromantic, and thought that fit Natsu's personality as well. So if Natsu wasn't interested in sex and he wasn't interest in a romantic relationship then…Lucy had to bit the inside of her lip to keep the disappointment from flooding in her chest.
The only way she'd know for sure was if she asked him. But she knew that her chances of being wrong weren't high. Natsu always did little things to make her smile, but at the end of the day she knew Natsu would go out of his way to make any of his friends smile, even Gray. And when Lucy remembered she was on the same level as Gray, she would lose all hope at all. But still, her aching heart needed to hear it straight from Natsu's lips.
"What do ya mean?" Natsu asked, his face scrunching up in even more confusion. His grip on Lucy's hand was starting to loosen considerably, and she fought hard not to clench her fingers around his palm.
"I just mean…" Lucy trailed off and took a deep breath. For some reason she couldn't manage to keep eye contact, so she dropped her gaze to the floor and said, "Are you interested in girls?"
Natsu stopped walking, which startled Lucy enough to force her to look back up at him. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were thinned by his frown. "I'm not sure what you're trying to imply."
But his expression told Lucy that he knew exactly what she was implying. Instead of answering back, she simply nodded her head and looked down. They walked in silence for a few more steps until they reached a shady spot under a tree. By this point Natsu had completely dropped Lucy hand, but she acted as if she didn't even noticed as she searched through her bag for her beach blanket.
"I mean, I don't date, if that's what you're getting at," Natsu said as Lucy laid out the blanket and sat on it.
A sharp pain stung at her chest. "It's really none of my business," Lucy said crisply, busying herself with pulling her textbooks out of her bag so that she could avoid looking at Natsu. She'd been told before that the size of her eyes made it easy to read the emotions in them, and she worried that – even as dense as Natsu was – he would see her utter heart break.
"I'll tell ya if you really wanna know," Natsu offered.
Lucy still wasn't looking at him. "You really don't have to tell me." Please don't tell me.
"It's just that…" Natsu trailed off and sighed. After a moment he started talking again. "I grew up with just my dad and a bunch of open fields. There were no other people around – seriously. It's kinda weird to think back and remember it now, but I swear to you I'd never seen another person besides my dad 'til I was ten.
"Anyway, I never had any friends. So I kinda didn't really grow up learning how to interact with others. Friendship didn't really mean anything to me 'til I was older…And my dad was single, so it's not like this idea of growing up and getting married was instilled in me. Me and my dad were happy just the two of us, so I never really put much value into dating and relationships. The idea of dating and marriage…well, I guess it wasn't normalized for me like it is for everyone else.
"It wasn't until I lost my dad that I started to care about friendships. But that's just 'cause I was tryin' really hard to find a new family, ya know? Family's all that really matters to me…I don't really care much for dating. All I really need are good friends."
Lucy felt like there was a wild fire trapped inside of her chest. It hurt so badly and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Natsu had so very literally just told her to her face that she was delusional for even thinking there could ever be anything between them. Why had she let herself crush on him in the first place?
"You don't have to give me an explanation," Lucy said, finally looking up to see that Natsu was already looking at her. She hauled her heavy text book onto her lap with a grunt and said, "What you can give me an explanation for, though, is this freaking bio. What does any of this even mean?!" Lucy looked down at her book with a tired expression, and flipped it open to a random page. "I mean, is this even English?!"
At that, Natsu snorted. "Thank God it's not! I hate English. But the language of science is one I'm fluent in."
"Yeah, well," Lucy rolled her eyes, flipping the pages back to the chapter her class was currently on. "Start translating."
Taking the book from Lucy's arms, Natsu nodded. "Aye, sir!"
Lucy groaned as she walked back into her dorm room. She took a moment to close her eyes and lean back against her shut door. After taking several deep breathes she opened her eyes again, and was pleased to see that Levy wasn't in.
Dropping all of her belongings onto the floor in the middle of her room, Lucy immediately began to strip off her clothes. After four hours of studying and being rejected by Natsu, all Lucy wanted to do was get into a hot shower. Well, she would have preferred a bath, but she supposed the communal hall showers would just have to do.
Throwing on her robe and grabbing her towel and shower caddy, Lucy made her way down the hall to the bathroom. Stepping into a shower stall, she quickly stripped herself of her robe and turned the water to the hottest it would go.
And then she started crying.
It was as if everything was hitting her at once. She wasn't doing well in bio, no matter how hard she tried. The last four hours seemed pointless because even with Natsu's help she still didn't get it. But maybe that was because she couldn't focus since every time he spoke she just remembered how much she wanted to be with him and how indifferent he was towards her.
Leaning her head against the gross shower wall, Lucy sighed. The tears finally stopped coming, and she looked at the shower floor, letting the hot water relax the muscles in her back.
"Of course the absolute only guy you ever actually get interested in is completely apathetic towards dating," she muttered to herself, sighing again.
Leaning away from the shower wall, Lucy finished up her shower quickly, spending an extra few minutes scrubbing at her forehead. When she got back to the room, Levy was there. Surprisingly, she didn't make any teasing comments about Natsu. Maybe she could sense Lucy's heart break.