Disclaimer: I did not create Calvin and Hobbes, Ozy and Millie, Kingdom Hearts, or any Disney movie featured in Kingdom Hearts. Calvin and Hobbes were made by my favorite cartoonist, Bill Watterson. Ozy and Millie were made by David Craig Simpson (It's an online comic, so I doubt you've heard of it). Lastly, Kingdom Hearts was made by Squaresoft, now Square-Enix, and they had to ask Disney to use their characters. Thank you. I have not played KH in a while, so I'm using a game script by Oliver Kong. You can read it at Game Faqs, or you can e-mail him at Thank you. I have received Chain of Memories, so I may have a better understanding of the events.
Chapter 4: Off to Wonderland
Calvin, Hobbes, and Ozy were flying through a swirling colorful wormhole in reality to a distant land in Calvin's cardboard-box Gummi Ship. Calvin exclaimed, "This is so cool! It's just like when Hobbes and I went back in time". Ozy then replied, "Say, Hobbes, where are we going?" Hobbes gave him a forlorn look. "Uh, I didn't think about a 'where' to this flight". Ozy was shocked. "Hobbes, think of something! If we don't, we may get sent into a black hole and die!" Hobbes thought momentarily. "Hmm… let's see… girls… girls…" And the wormhole changed from lights to a wonky type of grassland projection. The box exited the portal and landed into a strange, forest-like world. They were in Wonderland, Home to the Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit, and worst of all, the Queen of Hearts.
As the three fell onto the land, they were shot out of the cardboard box. After getting up, all three had something to say. "It's…its weird", Said Hobbes. "It's fascinating", said Ozy. "IT'S TOTALED!!" Exclaimed Calvin, looking at the burning remains of his cardboard box Gummi Ship. Ozy and Hobbes turned around to the boy. Hobbes said, "It's alright. It was only cardboard. At least we survived". Calvin threw himself onto Hobbes; however Hobbes was steady and did not fall over. "AT LEAST!! We can't go back now! We're stuck in this crazy world!" Ozy calmly reassured Calvin. "There are other cardboard boxes in Wonderland. But, I can't help wondering we forgot something". Appearing in a tiny portal next to Ozy's head was a small Gummi Ship containing Jiminy Cricket. "You boys left me back there!!" he yelled. "Jiminy…", said Calvin. "YOU LIAR!!" he screamed as he tried to squash Jiminy with his Kingdom Key. "What is wrong with him?" asked Ozy. "Once, he made a selfish wish upon a star, and it didn't come true", replied Hobbes. Calvin tried to finish off Jiminy, but tripped when White Rabbit ran below his legs. Both the White Rabbit and Calvin both were sent falling.
"Oh dear, I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!" Exclaimed the Rabbit. Calvin scowled, "Get off me. I have to squash a lying cricket". Hobbes asked, "What's the matter, White Rabbit?" The Rabbit replied, "Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear, no time to talk! I must go to the trial! Oh, the Queen will want MY head for sure!", and ran off. "What was that all about", Calvin asked. "Trial?" asked Ozy. "Cut off who's head?" asked Hobbes. "It seems like this place is still dangerous, despite its cute looks. Be careful". Hobbes turned around to realize Calvin had run off after the White Rabbit. "Figures", he said as he, Jiminy, and Ozy ran to find Calvin.
Calvin chased the White Rabbit to a bizarre door. The rabbit then shrunk small enough to go through it. Calvin pulled on the knob, but something bit him hard. When he threw back him hand, a face was on the knob. "Hey, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP", yelled the knob. "Yikes! You can talk?!" Calvin blurted. Hobbes and Ozy then caught up to the boy.
"Hmm…how would we use this small door?" Asked Ozy as he crouched down to the doorknob. "Lemme go to sleep…", grumbled the knob, but Calvin drew his Keyblade to the doorknob. "Alright, go take this potion", it said as a container appeared. All three drank the potion and grew very small, along with their voices going squeaky. Calvin got ready to hit Jiminy with his Kingdom Key. "Now that I'm your size, roach, you are going to die!!" As Calvin swung the Key at Jiminy's head, Hobbes got Calvin into a strangle hold and forced him through the door. On the other side, the White Rabbit, Queen of Hearts, and a young girl were in a court. Surrounding it were men who looked like cards.
The White Rabbit called out, "Court is now in session!" The girl spoke, "Court? But, what did I do?" Hobbes gasped. "Oh no! Alice! The Queen of Hearts is trying her! And, Calvin, you know from that movie Alice in Wonderland what the Queen's usual sentence is!!" he whispered. "So?" Asked Calvin. "Stupid girls deserve to have the old 'Off with 'er head!' treatment", said Calvin out loud, mocking the Queen of Hearts. Ozy tried to shut him up, but it was too late. Everyone had heard what Calvin said. "WHAT IS THIS?!" The Queen of Hearts demanded. "Who dares mimic the queen?" she hollered.
Calvin spoke out. "I do, you giant blob of fat", he shouted back. Ozy warned Calvin, "Please, for our sakes, think reasonably! This is the queen of Wonderland you just insulted". Hobbes cowered, "I shall gag this impudent until your trial is over, majesty. Just please don't kill me!" Hobbes then took of his green shirt under his armor and wrapped the sleeves around Calvin's mouth. The queen seemed pleased with Hobbes's act, as the trial went on.
The Queen spoke out, "I shall ignore your friend's tongue for now, Sir Hobbes. As for the trial, that girl is the culprit. No doubt about it. The reason is…uh…because I said so!"
Alice detested. "That is so unfair!" she yelled. The Queen of Hearts replied, "Well, have you anything to say on your defense", and Alice responded, "Of course! I've done absolutely nothing wrong! Just because you are the ruler doesn't mean you can act…so mean!!" "SILENCE! You dare defy me", asked the Queen. Meanwhile, Ozy said, "Perhaps we should help Alice". Calvin ripped the shirt off of his mouth. "No! Hobbes, if you do anything, you are official banned from GROSS", he shouted. "Gross?" asked Jiminy. "Yes, GROSS. It stands for Get Rid Of Slimy girlS", replied Calvin. "Besides, we're outsiders… And, I'm too scared! Have you seen those card warrior's weapons", concurred Hobbes.
The Queen reached her verdict. "The court finds the defendant…guilty as charged! For crimes of assault and theft of my Heart, off with 'er head!!" Alice cried out, "No! Please, don't". Hobbes let out a large tiger growl and shouted, "That's enough!" The Queen turned to Hobbes. "You impudent knight! How dare you defy me"? Calvin said, "Listen chubby, you must be some kind of moron to not know that your hearts was taken by HEARTL"-, but that's all he could say before Ozy shut him up by throwing his top hat over the boy's face. Hobbes said, "Either way, that cute little girl Alice didn't do it".
The Queen laughed a hearty laugh. "Nonsense, silly tiger. Have you any proof?" Behind then, a Card locked Alice in a cage. "Golly, we don't have proof", admitted Jiminy. "Tell you what, you two animal boys are so cute, I will give you a chance", said the Queen, becoming serious. "Bring me evidence of Alice's innocence! Fail and it's off with all of your heads! Gather as much or little evidence as you please. Report back here when you are ready. Oh, and I will keep your belongings until you return, Hobbes". The Queen said as the Cards took Hobbes's armor and shield shoved all four out the small door.
Later…
After eating a special cake with a sign that said, "Eat me", Calvin, Hobbes, and Ozy grew back to normal sizes. "Why do we have to go look for proof to save some dumb girl", snorted Calvin. Ozy responded, "Because everyone has the right to have to fairness, that's why". Hobbes also said, "Besides, how are we going to go back home without out heads?" "Well, it's your fault that we got into this mess, you stupid striped menace!" Calvin yelled. Jiminy yelled, hiding in Hobbes's fur from Calvin's wrath, "Enough! We all got into this dilemma; let's get out of it together". Ozy concurred, saying, "We must work together. We shall start in the Lotus Forest. Let's get moving", he said as he walked off. Calvin said, "Hobbes, remind me to cut myself after this adventure is over", and Hobbes replied, "Not on your life".
As the three enter the forests, 4 Heartless attacked. There were One Shadow, one Soldier, and two floating ones that have a red robe and a yellow hat. "Those robed ones are Red Nocturnes. Try not to use Fire on them", warned Ozy. "Right, right", replied Calvin as he jumped to slash one of the Nocturnes. The second one shot a fireball at Calvin, knocking him away from the Heartless' friend. "Oops. I forgot to mention. Red Nocturnes can also use Fire", said Ozy. "Thanks a lot, Triumph", said Calvin as he stabbed at the Soldier. Hobbes jumped on Calvin's Red Nocturne and slashed it to pieces with his claws. The Soldier did a roundhouse at Calvin, but he did a backwards Dodge Roll to avoid the kick.
Ozy smacked the Shadow around, and also cast Blizzard on the remaining Red Nocturne. All that was left was the Soldier. Hobbes finished it off by throwing a mushroom cap like a Frisbee. Once the Heartless vanished, a pair of eyes appeared in a tree. It turned out they belonged to the Cheshire Cat.
"Great, it's that weird Cheshire cat", said Calvin with heavy sarcasm in his voice. "Weird? Weird indeed. But, poor Alice. She will lose her head, and she did not do a thing", said the Cheshire Cat. Calvin said, "Go away, you dumb cat", and Ozy added, "Cheshire Cat, we appreciate talking to you, but we need to find clues". The Cat replied, "The Cheshire Cat has all the answers, all the clues, but doesn't always tell". With that, the Cat completely vanished. "There are four clues for the friends. The last is very tricky. Big reward if you can find them-"However, he was cut off as Calvin yelled, "Fire!" and shot a fireball at the nothingness. "Calvin, you idiot! The cat was going to help us", yelled Hobbes. Calvin immediately fell to the ground, crying. Hobbes said with sympathy, "I'm sorry. Don't cry about it". Calvin responded, "It's not that. I've always wanted a flamethrower. Now I have one with Fire". Hobbes slapped his face in frustration, and Ozy warned, "Yes, but it costs MP to use. You can't use Fire all the time. We'd better go find those clues The Cheshire Cat was talking about".
After some searching, Ozy (decked out in a Sherlock Holmes outfit) found something near a pair of giant toadstools. "They appear to be some kind of strange footprints, however they look more like shoe prints, so I can't identify it with an animal". Hobbes immediately drew a quick sketch of it on a piece of Calvin's burnt Gummi Ship. "Hey, I thought you were supposed to bury my broken ship", complained Calvin. "Hush", said Hobbes, but Calvin stole the piece of cardboard, bounced on the toadstools, and leaped into a tree stump. The boy found himself on top of a fireplace in the Trial Room, but there was a putrid smell. Fallowing him was Ozy. "Where's Hobbes", asked Calvin. Ozy replied, "He was too afraid to come down…and what is this disgusting scent?!" Calvin grabbed a bottle from the fireplace and caught some greenish-yellow fumes from where the stench originated. "Let's go to the Queen of Farts, I mean Hearts", said Calvin. Ozy disagreed. "The Cheshire Cat said there were four pieces of evidence. Maybe we should find them all", he said as they climbed back to the forest.
Once the two re-entered the forest, Hobbes ran up to them. "I found this piece of evidence while you guys were gone". Hobbes held in his paws a very long antenna. It seemed insect-like, but it was as long as Ozy's tail (or Calvin's arm and a half). "Thanks, but where is that last piece?" asked Calvin. Ozy pointed upwards to a small pink chest… near the pair of giant toadstools, but in an area leading to the Trial Room. The platforms leading to the trial room were also very small. "Okay, unless you know Mini and Float, I doubt we'll make it", muttered Hobbes. "Nonsense", said Ozy, as he dispensed some of the shrinking potion from his hat. "Magic", Calvin exclaimed. "Duct tape", explained Ozy. After taking a dose of the potion while sitting on the toadstools, all three were ready. Ozy took off hastily, but fell off the platforms and was forced to fight the tiny Heartless down below. Calvin and Hobbes hopped from mini-platform to mini-platform, jumping perfectly. Ozy let out a long squeak (remember, their voices increased in pitch), and Hobbes said, "Ozy! Calvin, you have to help him!" Calvin replied, "No, you'll never get to that chest, you wimp!" But Hobbes kicked Calvin off the platform to aid Ozy. Hobbes eventually made it to the last platforms in the room and with a careful jump, landed on the last platform and picked up the tiny chest. The chest was covered in scratch marks. After that, The Cheshire Cat appeared again. "Why oh why have you left your friends behind?" asked the Cat. Hobbes answered, "I have no choice. Can you at least give me some help lifting this chest"? The Cat gave Hobbes a slice of the "eat me" cake, and Hobbes grew to his normal size, with the chest fitting in the palm of his paw. Running back out, he stomped the remaining Heartless Calvin and Ozy were fighting, and gave both a scrap of his cake. They, too, came back to normal size. The Cheshire cat re-appeared. The Cat said, "Well, look what you found. Nice going". Calvin said, "Is that sarcasm? Maybe you didn't notice my Kingdom Key! You'd better be nice next time". Ozy also stated, "Well, now we can save Alice, which is good". The Cheshire cat disagreed. "Don't be so sure, fox! She may be innocent, but what about you?" Calvin actually pulled out the Kingdom Key. "Are you saying we did it", he complained. "I won't tell, but I will give you something", said The Cheshire Cat, and a ball of blue energy exited his paw and entered Calvin's chest, knocking him back. "GAH! I feel so cold", writhed Calvin. "No wonder. Cheshire Cat just gave you Blizzard, the first ice-based spell". Calvin complained, "Can't we just sacrifice some sheep or something instead of nearly killing me to learn these things?!" yelled Calvin. "No", said Hobbes as he and Ozy picked up the paralyzed Calvin and took him to the queen's castle.
To the continuing of the trial…
Calvin has lost his paralysis from "learning" Blizzard and he and his friends are now up on the podium. The Queen of Hearts said, "Show me your evidence", and they revealed all four items: The sketch of the Footprints, the bottle containing the Stench gas, the Antenna, and the small chest filled with Claw Marks. The Queen said, "Well, that is certainly a lot of evidence. It was good work, but now, Cards, reveal my evidence". The cards revealed some phony-looking evidence being put into boxes. The Calvin saw a piece of lace; Hobbes saw a false journal logging of stealing the Queen's heart signed by "Alice", and Ozy saw a picture with Hobbes and himself on it. The boxed evidences were juggled and handed to five Cards. The Queen noticed that there were nine clues in all. "It would seem a waste of time to judge all nine, so pick one from the boxes", said the queen. Calvin was outraged. He yelled, "WHAT?!?! We collected all of that for NOTHING?!" The Queen picked up a heart-tipped scepter. "You dare object? Then you lose your head. Now, choose! Only one!" Calvin said, "I'm not afraid of that scepter, but I guess I've got no choice but to choose", rolling his eyes. Calvin picked a box, and inside was the false journal page. The Queen said, "Very well. I hereby sentence Alice as…GUILTY!!" Calvin then chopped the queen's scepter in half with the Kingdom Key. "This trial was fixed from the start!! First, you make me shut up when you act like an idiot! Second, you send us to find evidence while you guys make up fake proof! Third, I sure as heck didn't sign up to save some DUMB GIRL!! I don't care what you do to me, I refuse to do this anymore!!!", the boy howled. The Queen of Hearts was furious. She yelled, "I have had enough with this impudence! SEIZE THEM ALL", she shouted as the Cards chased our heroes outside. Hobbes exclaimed, "You really did it now, Calvin", as he ran from his pursuers. To his horror, he found that he, Ozy and Calvin were completely circled by Cards. "We're surrounded", said Ozy. Calvin said, "Then we have no choice then to cut the cards". As a giant tower wheeled in, the Queen shouted, "Don't let that tower tumble, or you Cards will lose your heads!"
Calvin tried his new Blizzard spell on a group of cards. An ice chunk slammed on one as its shards damaged the others. Hobbes, without his armor or weapon, had no choice but to claw up one Card and throw the dazed warrior at others. However, as the Cards were knocked out, more Cards came from the tower and picked up the wounded to replace them in combat. Ozy came up with an idea, and called out, "Calvin! Sir Hobbes! That tower holds the Queen's Cards! We have to knock it down". Calvin complied and ducked under many Cards' legs, then did a thrust at the tower. Hobbes did the same and clawed at the tower. Ozy held the two off by casting spells at the Cards coming after the tiger and boy. After a while, the Tower's foundation collapsed, and the Cards had to evacuate as it went crumbling down like a house of…well, the warrior's namesake. When the dust settled, Calvin pulled off a heroic look, Hobbes had Alice, Ozy held his staff, ready to fight, and the Queen of Hearts was losing her mind.
"You…you" She yelled, however, she was cut off when giant tremors started to shake off in patterns, almost like footsteps. Behind her, a very tall and lanky Heartless wielding a pair of flaming sticks appeared. Imbedded in his chest was a Heart, and on that heart was an image of the Queen of Hearts. "There's you're culprit, lady", yelled Calvin. The Queen cowered, "Um... Cards? Attack?" The Cards marched in, but were blown back when the Heartless blew a giant fireball with a massive explosion using it's flaming sticks. Ozy said, "It must be here to finish the job". Calvin replied, "Yeah, but I'm definitely NOT going to let it slide for what it put us through. Let's get him!" Hobbes crept over to the Queen, and cowered, "C…Can I have my Shield and armor back?"
The queen answered, "It's over the fireplace in the Trial Room". Hobbes ran as the Giant Heartless, named the Trickmaster, stomped him way to Calvin.
The Trickmaster got ready to blow fire at Calvin. Calvin, instead, called out "Freeze!" and performed his Blizzard spell on the Heartless, canceling the attack. The Trickmaster then began to stomp the ground around him. Calvin did a Dodge Roll to get away from the shockwaves. Ozy supported with a Fire spell directed at the Trickmaster's legs. It had no effect. Calvin tried to cut the Trickmaster's legs, but to no avail. The Trickmaster blew a fireball at Calvin, but Calvin just barely dodged the flaming death of the explosion. Calvin called out, "Ozy! Maybe we should attack its body instead of its legs". Ozy agreed. Hobbes returned with his Knight's Shield, green shirt, and armor. Hobbes then attacked the legs, but was shot back by the shockwaves of the Trickmaster's stomping. "You came a little to late", said Calvin. "I just told Ozy to attack the body". Calvin then jumped at the Trickmaster and struck it many times with the Kingdom Key. The attacks seemed to take effect. The Trickmaster then spun his flaming sticks in his hands, burning Calvin. Hobbes jumped and spun with his shield, inflicting damage. Ozy shouted, "Thunder!!" causing a bolt of lightning to hit the Trickmaster. Hobbes shoved in a table, giving Calvin a way to hit the Heartless without jumping. Calvin took advantage of this by stabbing and thrusting multiple times at the Heartless. The Trickmaster picked up his sticks once again. This time, the fireball blasted Calvin, Hobbes, and Ozy sky-high. When they landed, all three were weak. "If we take any more of this, we're finished! I've got some healing Potions", Said Hobbes as he distributed a Potion to each of his friends, healing some minor burns on both. Calvin got an idea. He threw the Keyblade at the Trickmaster's captured Heart. The heart was knocked out of him. Weakened, Ozy's final Thunder electrocuted him, causing a catastrophic seismic explosion. When the dust settled, The Queen's Heart was lying next to them, and a massive crater of shadow was all that was left of the Trickmaster.
Hobbes looked around the battlefield. "Heh, well, Queen, unless you have a Poker Set, I think your Cards will need some stretchers", he joked. "Hey, what happened to Alice?", asked Calvin. Ozy replied, "She must have been taken by the Heartless. Hobbes, don't worry, I'm sure we can find her in another world". The Queen of Hearts walked to them, picking up her heart and plunging it into her chest. She then said, "I think I owe you three brave boys an apology". Calvin retorted, "You're darn right you do!" Ozy said, "Glad to have your heart back, you're Majesty". The Queen said, "If there is anything I can thank you with-", but was cut off when Calvin hastily said, "Just let us spend the night, and lend up a cardboard box, and we'll be on our way". So his demand was fulfilled. The next day, Calvin wrote "Gummi Ship Version 2.0" on the box. All three hopped in, and on Ozy's "Blast off!!", the three were off to another world.
End Chapter 4.