A/N: Hello again, everybody! So glad you're here for another chapter! I'm still meeting my goal of posting a chapter every Wednesday, largely thanks to the awesome beta work from laurathechef, but this week that goal might be in danger. I've had some family issues come up, namely a scary medical situation with Mrs Lucky, and family takes precedence over writing. Hopefully this is nothing serious, but we won't know for a few days. I would appreciate any prayers, happy thoughts, good intentions, whatever your personal inclination is.
See the first chapter for disclaimer. On to the story!
Chapter 4: Uncomfortable Talks
The Red Army squared off against the Black Army. The ranks stared at each other, staggered in rows with gaps in between the rotund soldiers to allow for the enemy's fire to fall harmlessly to the earth. With a mighty roar, they started charging, one at a time in an odd formation. When each soldier got to an enemy, they vaulted over them, collapsing the rank and taking their place. The Red General was the first to reach his opponent's back. Crowing his victory, he shouted, "King me!"
Emma blinked her eyes against the sudden infusion of light. Instead of being on an extremely strange battlefield, she was back in her hospital bed. Two voices were murmuring off to the side of the room where her table was. As she squinted, the tide of memories came back to her. Hospital. Injury. Doctors. Physical therapy. Her first session with Gus was harder than she'd expected, and at the end it was all she could do to stay awake when the nurses helped her back to her room. Being the Saviour had its perks, loath though she was to admit it in most cases. In this instance she was only too happy to take advantage of the extra care most of the Storybrooke residents were to offer her aid.
She tried to get up, but her hands were restrained once more. Apparently her freedom only existed to allow her to get to and from therapy, and when she was on her own she was still to be chained. Lifting her head to see who the still-murmuring voices belonged to, she was surprised to see that Ruby and Granny were playing checkers in her room. That explained the dream. If there were two people in her room she'd expected – hoped – that it would be some combination of her parents and Henry.
"What's going on?" she rasped, hating how rough and weak her voice sounded.
The two women looked over, distracted from their game. It might have been Emma's imagination, but for gazes usually so warm, they were almost scowling.
"Well, some dumbass tried to bust out of the hospital after having major surgery, so they needed a couple of guard dogs," Ruby all but barked, "and that was after she cursed herself to sleep instead of talking about things with her friends."
Shame flooded through Emma in a hot wave, ending in tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She cursed her out of control emotions, choosing to blame the medication. "I'm…I'm sorry I got you stuck with me," She apologized, "You don't have to babysit me. I'll behave. I'm the only one who should pay for my actions."
Granny snorted while Ruby rolled her eyes. "Not my orders, Princess. I'm told to watch to make sure you don't slip out of here somehow. Your parents will switch off shifts in the afternoons and evenings. That way David and I can stagger shifts at the Sheriff's department."
Emma winced at the use of her title from a woman she'd considered a good friend. "It's not enough, but I'm sorry, Ruby."
"I'm the last one you need to apologize to, Princess. It's not like I'm your best friend or anything. I didn't even know anything was going on with you. It's not like you could have come to me with anything that was going on. I'm just Ruby the waitress," the brunette sniffed.
Emma tried shifting in her bed, attempting to get into a position where she could look at Ruby better, but the effort pulled at her sore muscles and incision, and she cried out at the stab of pain, grabbing at her wound.
In a heartbeat Ruby was at her side, easing her back into a better resting position. "Hey, hey. Just relax. You're not supposed to move around too much. The nurse told us when they checked you last."
Tears were flowing down Emma's cheeks. She hated being so vulnerable, but pain, shame, and the effect of the medication wore down her defenses. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting everyone down," she sniffed at the simple act of being touched by another human being for the first time in more than half a year.
"Sh. It is okay, Emma," the waitress soothed, "I know. I know things were hard, and we all let you down. I just wish you had come to me. I thought we were best friends. We all thought you'd killed yourself until Regina found you. We all had some hope then, but when you made it so hard to rescue you, it just made everything worse."
Emma sniffed, running out of tears, but accepting her friend's words.
"Your family has barely left your side ever since you got here. They've been taking shifts eating and sleeping at home and taking care of Neal. We're only here now because you sent them home, and they wanted someone to make sure you stayed safe," Ruby said, rubbing slow circles on her back. Emma leaned into the touch, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder.
When Emma didn't respond, Ruby moved to sit on the bed in front of Emma, one hip on and one leg supporting her on the floor. "Why? Why didn't you come to me, Emma? I could have helped…I don't know how but somehow!"
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Emma forced herself to look her friend in the eye. If she was ever going to start getting past what happened, she needed to face up to what she'd done. "I didn't think anyone would care."
Ruby stared at her, uncomprehending. "Are you serious? Why would we not care about you? You're my best friend! You've been there for me when I needed you, why wouldn't I do the same for you?"
Emma tried to twist her fingers together, only to be stopped with the metallic rattle of her handcuffs. "I hate these things so much," she ground out, "I know I should have, but when I tried to get everyone together for my birthday, you were all busy. No one even called me about it." Hating how small her voice sounded, Emma tried to meet Ruby's eyes, but wasn't brave enough.
"Your birthday? When?"
Ruby's surprise was evident in her tone. Shaking her head, Emma explained. "When I came to the library that one night asking if you and Belle wanted to get together for a girls' night, you said you were busy and never called me back."
The waitress's brows furrowed as she tried to place the memory, then as realization dawned her eyes grew large. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was your birthday! Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because it wasn't just you and Belle. Elsa was busy looking for her sister, Regina hates me, my parents were wiped looking after Neal…everyone was busy."
"But it was your birthday!" Ruby insisted, "It's kind of a big deal, even without the whole curse-casting, curse-breaking thing. We would have changed our plans and hung out another time. Why didn't you say anything?"
Emma looked down, unwilling to open herself up enough to answer the brunette's question truthfully, especially with Granny listening. Damn werewolf hearing and all. She murmured to herself.
Ruby leaned forward. "What? I didn't catch that."
"I said because I've never had a birthday party before!" snapped Emma, annoyed that the shameful truth was out and relieved all at once. "None of my foster families ever had birthday parties or gave gifts to their kids. They used the government checks for booze or drugs and barely fed us as it was. Birthday parties were for kids with real families, not kids like me. You were busy, my parents were busy, Elsa was busy, Hook and Tink were getting busy, Henry went to live with Regina, and so I never saw him…it was just easier to do what I've always done. Put a candle on a cupcake and blow it out, then go to sleep."
"Wait, wait, and wait. You think Regina hates you?" Ruby asked, goggling.
"I don't think it, I know it," retorted Emma, "She told me so herself. Said I was a waste of space, that my parents had replaced me with someone normal, stuff like that. She almost hit me, too."
"But that makes no sense! Why would she do those things if she…" Ruby trailed off as Granny gave a loud cough. "Ruby! Best not to talk about things that are none of your business. Why don't you run along to the cafeteria and get some food while I have a chat with Emma?"
Ruby didn't want to go, that much was abundantly clear, but she wouldn't cross her grandmother, so she nodded and made her way out of the room, giving Emma's hand a quick squeeze.
Granny slid a chair over next to Emma's bed, grunting at the effort. She sat back down with a big sigh. "Now, listen up, Princess. I don't often tell people what to do anymore, but in this case I'll make an exception. You may have had an idea in your mind about how things were when you pulled your disappearing act, but you haven't seen what's happened since you've been gone. You need to find out the whole story."
"The whole story?"
"Trust me, pup, you don't know the half of what's really at work here," Granny grunted, refusing to say any more as she shuffled back to the table.
Emma watched as the matronly woman cleared away the checkers in preparation for Ruby's return, her mind swirling with questions. She still couldn't figure out why her parents were putting so much time and effort into her. Before she'd cursed herself it seemed like they couldn't spare even a few minutes for her, and she'd been certain her mother blamed her for the light post hitting her father. And yet, here they were when she woke up…for the second time anyway.
Ruby's guilt trip had been another revelation. She hadn't realized that she meant as much as she did to the waitress, but the emotion in Ruby's eyes had been plain and her lie detector hadn't gone off.
She had been missed.
Coming hard on the heels of that realization was the echo of Granny's words. There was far more that was going on than she was aware of, if the older woman was to be believed. Whatever the heck that meant.
The biggest question of all was the identity of her supposed True Love, the one who had kissed her awake. If it had been either of her parents or Henry, they wouldn't have acted so strangely around her in the room.
So who the hell had woken her up?
Ruby came back into the room, carrying a bag that smelled like heaven. As she spread the meal she'd brought back for herself and Granny out on the table the noise of Emma's stomach rumbled around the empty room. "I really wish I could eat real food, especially one of your grilled cheese sandwiches, Granny, but until I'm more healed my only food comes from this tube here," she nodded at the IV drip, "not like I could feed myself anyway."
"Well then I guess you've got no choice but to get better, then," Ruby challenged, biting off a huge chunk of a greasy, dripping bacon-double cheeseburger.
"Make you a deal, Princess," Granny said, grinning as she purposefully teased her with the title she hated, "If you get better and get those handcuffs off without running off or hurting yourself again, I'll give you a free grilled cheese every day for a month at the diner."
After such an emotional roller coaster of a morning, the relief sweeping through her was palpable. She gave a giddy, slightly watery smile to the two werewolves. "Deal. Ruby, can you call Archie and tell him that I promise to stay here and work on all parts of my recovery if he will sign off on getting the handcuffs removed?"
Ruby's answering smile was a mixture of joy and confidence, already reaching for her phone. "I can do that, Emma."
While she was speaking to the therapist, a nurse came in with a pillow, and gestured for Emma to sit up so she could replace the one she was currently using.
"A new pillow?" Emma asked, confused, "I didn't think linens got changed until the morning."
"This isn't from the hospital," the nurse answered, "This was just delivered with a special request that it be given to you to use."
As she reclined once more, recognition dawned over Emma. "This is my pillow from home! Who brought this in?"
"They didn't say. It was anonymous," explained the nurse, who left the room without another word.
"Wait, I'm not sure I understand; what exactly do you mean when you say you don't know what you're going to do?" Archie asked as he looked over the upper frame of his wire-rimmed glasses at his current client.
Regina ran her hands through her hair, blowing out an exasperated sigh. "I don't know what I'm going to do! The last time Emma and I spoke face to face, I was berating her in public and almost slapping her. I can't just stroll into her room and say, 'Hi there. I almost knocked you into next Tuesday, but as it turns out, you're my True Love and I just kissed you awake. Want to have my babies?'"
Archie chuckled. "No, that's not what I meant. You could find a way to repair bridges first before jumping into the deep end."
"I don't even know where to begin. I said some horrible things to her, that she was a waste of time and space, and that no one would be sorry if she wasn't there," her voice choked up, "and that's even before you take into account the fact that most of the bad things that happened to her from the moment she was born can be blamed on me."
"Is that really the case, though?" Archie asked, scratching with his pencil.
Regina looked up at him. "I cast the curse that made her parents ship her off to Maine. I was the reason she grew up in the foster care system. I was the reason she suffered unspeakable horrors as a child, and grew up alone on the streets after she finally escaped."
"I think I see what the issue really is here," Archie declared, "You need to forgive yourself before you can open up to the idea of love."
"Forgive myself? How can I possibly do that when I'm the root cause for everything she suffered?"
"Are you?"
"Am I what? The start of her horrible childhood? Of course I am! I just told you: it was my curse that made her grow up without her parents," Regina huffed, flustered.
The therapist drew a careful breath. "You may be the reason she had to live without her parents, in this realm, but I would argue against the idea of you being the reason for all her sufferings. Every person that affected her life for the worse made their own decisions. She was in those situations, but all those foster parents and siblings made the choices they made without you standing over their shoulders and urging them on. You can't be held accountable for all the bad things, Regina. Just as you can't be credited for the good things either."
"What if she never forgives me? What if this time I've finally gone too far?" asked Regina, hating how small her voice sounds.
Archie gave her an encouraging smile. "I don't profess to know Emma as well as some, but I've never heard that she was that cold. I think if you make a real effort she's the kind of person who will see that and react accordingly, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here."
Not knowing where he was going, Regina sat back in her chair, waiting for him to explain.
"You've had some troubles with arranged marriages and pixie-dust foretellings before, right?"
She nodded.
"Well, this could be seen as falling into the same vein; that it was the act of kissing Emma that showed you who your True Love was instead of you choosing to love them and going through the normal process. So, I would start by asking you: do you feel any physical attraction to her?"
Hoping her blush wasn't as obvious as it felt, Regina ducked her head to regain her composure. "I don't think anyone would argue that the woman is stunningly beautiful."
"That's not what I asked."
She heaved a sigh. "Yes, all right? Yes, I feel a strong attraction to her. I have since the moment we met, with her silken hair, those amazingly green eyes, and the smile that she only gets when she's truly happy…being in Neverland with her was torture, when she…"
Archie's cough cut her memory short. "I think I get the picture, Regina."
"The point is that I am very much attracted to her," the brunette explained.
"Now what about emotionally?"
Regina snorted. "That's even easier. When she first got to Storybrooke I hated her. I was so sure she was going to try to take Henry away from me that I treated her like a threat and reacted like the Evil Queen."
"That doesn't sound like an emotional attachment," observed the therapist, scratching notes in his book.
"I'm getting there," she retorted, trying to keep her frustration from her tone, "Things started to change after Neverland. Before we had to go to that godforsaken rock, she was more like Henry's older sister. Conspiring against the lone parental figure in his life. When we had to rescue him from that miserable island, she changed. She was more a mother than anything else. When she started to grow up, I started to learn what an amazing woman she really is. Emma is a resilient, confident, intelligent, woman who has been tempered like steel in the fires of a hard life. To have come through what she has and be as caring, as loving as she truly is says something amazing about her. Seeing how she accepted her destiny as the Savior, turned into a real mother to Henry; and is even now trying to be the best daughter she can to parents physically younger than she is…I'm just blown away by her."
"Have you ever told her that?"
She ducked her head. "No. Most of the time I've tried to keep her at arm's length at the very least. Cordial co-parents is about as good as I've ever allowed."
"Why is that?"
"You've met my mother," she snorted, "The woman literally ripped the heart out of my first love. Do you think she fostered the traits needed to be a warm, loving person? I destroy everything I touch. If something happened to Emma because I couldn't take the chance on losing another person I cared about, especially after Robin…left."
"Well, maybe now is the chance to change that," noted the therapist, "maybe now that you know you share a connection that deep, that powerful, it can lead to more for you."
"How would you suggest I go about doing that? Walk into her hospital room, declare my everlasting love, and kiss her senseless?"
"Well, anyone might enjoy someone professing their love, but I get the sense that the two of you have never been big on words. Maybe actions might have more of an impact. Baby steps, like just going into her room to ask how she's doing, might have a he impact, especially if she's never had many people show specific interest in her life."
Regina blushed. "Well, I may or may not have already done something like that."
"Oh?" Archie grinned at her demeanor.
"I sort of delivered her pillow to the hospital for them to give her instead of the bricks that most patients have to sleep on. I also have a spy on her staff. As soon as she's cleared for solid foods, I will be teleporting my own cooking to be served to her instead of cafeteria food. She's far too thin, but I know why she is. I'll put some meat on her bones."
"I think that's a great step, Regina. When she's better, then the two of you will get a chance to reconnect and rebuild those bridges."
"More than you think, Doctor," Regina answered, hesitant to reveal the real meaning behind her words but knowing that Archie could be trusted.
"Oh?"
"Snow, David and I have agreed that she's going to do her recuperation at my house, and not the loft. With the baby still not sleeping through the night, she needs as much peace and quiet as she can get. So she'll be at my house in the room she slept in under her curse. I've also arranged to work from home as much as possible until she's at full strength so I can be there for whatever she may need."
"Then just be patient. Rebuild your bridges and get back on solid footing before you make any True Love declarations, and I think," Archie trailed off as his phone rang.
"Well, it looks like you're going to have the chance faster than you thought. That was Ruby, saying that Emma's agreed to stay put and work on getting better if I will allow the handcuffs to come off."
Regina smiled, trying to find the strength to calm her suddenly racing heart.
A/N: I was surprised myself at Regina's willingness to talk to Archie in this chapter, but sometimes characters can be that way. As always, constructive criticism helps my writing, and reviews are love. Take care, everyone! I hope I won't see any interruption to my writing.