(Author's note: this is the end, for now, but I could easily write more smutty chapters if people want them. Enjoy - amy)
They waited on the stairs for Ryder to arrive. When the front door bell rang, Jake stood up immediately, then sat back down again. Marley sighed, brushing her hair back from her face.
"Go ahead. It doesn't matter." But then, as he stood up again, she held up a hand and said, "Wait -"
"I don't have to," Jake said. Marley nodded, took a deep breath, then stood.
"I think he needs to see me first."
She opened the door, standing there for a moment, looking through the screen. The door was in the way, so Jake couldn't see Ryder's face, but he could see Marley smile, then laugh, and push the door open for him. "Come on," she said, making a little bring-it gesture with her fingers. From her it wasn't anything close to intimidating, but Jake didn't figure she meant it to be.
"Mar," Ryder said, his voice hushed. She hugged him there behind the door for a long time, but Jake stayed on the stairs. He told himself he wasn't hiding, but it was a fucking lie, because whatever was going to happen next it was going to change things completely for all of them. Jake knew he was just as terrified as Ryder had sounded on the phone.
"I don't really have much to say," she said, "but you know I love Jake, and I love you too, you big jerk." She stepped backwards into view, holding Ryder's hand and pulling him into the foyer. "And it sounds like, from what Jake's been telling me, that you guys have some feelings for each other."
Ryder looked completely lost. "I -"
"Yeah," said Jake. He was too far away to touch Ryder, but he hung onto his gaze until Ryder looked away. "Yeah, we do. I mean, I do. That's kind of what tipped me off."
Ryder was grinning, but now he didn't seem able to make eye contact with anybody. "Shit," he muttered, his face as red as his shirt, glancing between the floor and the stairs and back again.
"Come on," Marley said. She held out a hand to Jake, and together they walked into the living room. When Marley sat on the floor, cross-legged, Jake joined her. Ryder looked like he'd rather sit across the room, but he joined them too, their knees not quite touching to form a triangle, hunching over like he'd already been hit in the stomach.
Marley was watching him solemnly. "You guys thought that fooling around behind my back was okay. Can you explain that?"
"Not really," said Ryder. He leaned his elbows on his knees, staring imploringly at Marley. "I wish I could say I thought that was all it was, for me."
"You always had feelings for Jake," she prompted. He nodded, wincing.
"We're being honest, right? Well, when I heard about Kurt and Blaine, all that about bros helping bros, I wondered - about Sam and Blaine, if they would do that. And then Jake - um."
"He told me the whole story already," she said steadily. "Go on."
Ryder still wasn't looking at him. "Jake kissed me in the bathroom. That was - well, more than I ever thought I'd get, honestly. So if we could, if he wanted to, I wasn't going to say no. But then I started to feel bad. Because - because you don't deserve to be cheated on, Mar."
"You're damn right I don't." She didn't sound mad. It was more like she was talking to a little kid, the way she was being so gentle and calm. "Okay. So you guys were fooling around because... because you were frustrated? Because you were single, Ryder, and because I wasn't... doing stuff with you, Jake?"
Jake nodded. He felt wretched. Marley sighed again, nodding back.
"I wasn't trying to be unfair to you, telling you no," she said. "I just didn't feel ready. I still don't. I don't know if that means I never will feel ready, like, we're not compatible? Or maybe someday I will decide I want to do the things you wanted to do at Mr Schue's wedding." She cocked her head at Jake, looking at him hard. "I just know you guys already did a bunch of those things. And I guess you liked them? With each other?"
"I did," said Ryder. He bit his lip.
"Me, too," Jake agreed. Now Ryder looked up at him. His face was crumpling, near tears.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should have just told you how I felt. I just didn't want to risk our friendship. I didn't know you - that you wanted -"
"I didn't know either, man," said Jake. He wanted to hug him, wanted to tell him it was okay while he touched him, but he wasn't sure what that would do to this equilateral triangle they were sitting in. "I didn't know, until we were already doing it."
"See, this is what I was talking about," Marley said, like it was an ordinary conversation. "You weren't being a jerk. You didn't do this on purpose. You really thought it was going to be okay."
"And it's not," said Ryder. Regretfully, she shook her head.
"No. It's not. Maybe someday it'll be okay. I'm hurt, but I still love both of you. I want you to be happy." She knelt forward, pulling Jake toward her, and he went into her arms without even thinking about it. Then she kissed him. When she pushed him away, her face was determined. "I think you guys should be together."
"Mar," he said. She shook her head again, more firmly this time.
"I mean it. I'm not ready for a physical relationship with you, Jake. If I kept asking you to wait for me, knowing you were okay waiting, I wouldn't have felt bad about that. But you don't want to wait for Ryder. You want to be with him, right now. I want you to have that. I'm not going to stand in your way."
She crawled over to kneel in front of Ryder, taking his hand and pulling him toward Jake. He could see Ryder's defenses breaking down as she spoke. By the time Ryder adjusted his seat to be close enough for his knee to bump Jake's, he'd clearly abandoned any thought of saying no to Marley. Jake could have told him to give up that idea from the start.
"So you're going to do that for me," she continued, placing Ryder's hand on Jake's leg. "Be together. Be happy. I'm not going to stop being your friend, either one of you. You're not going to feel guilty for wanting each other, any more than I'm going to feel guilty for not being ready to have sex with you."
"Okay?" Jake watched Marley's face closely, but she looked like she was done with crying for now. "This... seems kind of unfair to you."
"I'll miss kissing you," she admitted. "But I can deal."
Ryder smiled tentatively at her. "I don't mind you guys kissing."
Her return smile was generous. "You don't have to say that. I already told Jake I'm not ready for anything that complicated, any more than I was ready to go further with him. Just let me take my own time, and I'll be happy for you guys, okay? I mean, I might feel jealous, but I love you more than that." She touched Ryder's face. "I don't think I'd feel okay about this if it were anybody else, but... it's you. And Jake. And you and Jake, wanting to kiss each other, that's kind of wonderful."
Ryder reached out one hand and touched Jake's, his face flushed deep red. "Yeah?" he said, and the question was for Marley, but he was looking at Jake.
"Yeah," said Jake, trying to breathe.
"Oh, kiss him," Marley begged. They both startled, staring at her, and she laughed. "It's like a romance movie where they're waiting and waiting to make a move, and I just can't wait any longer. Please?"
Ryder smiled at Jake, laughing, his eyebrows high. "Uh - okay?"
Jake could see this going very, very wrong, but he had to trust Marley that she knew what she was asking for. So far she'd never asked for something she hadn't wanted. And this? He could do this. Even if it was embarrassing and terrifying. He reached forward and hooked Ryder's head with one hand, pulling him closer, and rested his lips on his forehead for a brief moment. Ryder chuckled breathlessly.
"Tease," Marley snapped, swatting his shoulder. "Come on. You're not going to break me."
This time it was Ryder who grabbed Jake's face in both hands, kissing him more firmly. It still felt like a performance, but when Ryder tried to sit back, he didn't let him go very far, giving him that hug he'd been wanting to lay on him since Ryder had stepped into Marley's house.
"You really want to do this?" Jake asked.
"I wanted to do this before I knew it was something you wanted," Ryder replied shakily. "Fuck, yeah, I want to do this."
It wasn't quite enough. Jake clutched him tighter. "Like, in front of everybody? At school?"
"You're asking me if I care if anybody knows I'm with you? Sam and Blaine already know. Marley knows." He rested against Jake's shoulder. "You really think anybody else is going to care?"
"I think my mom might care," Marley said, making a face. "Sorry. I'm not saying you should stop, but you might want to be aware of that if you're around her at school. It might take me a while to explain it to her, and for her to believe I'm okay with it."
"The guys on the football team," Jake added. Ryder rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.
"You think I care about them? Kurt and Dave, they paved the way for us. Blaine's out at school, and nobody harrasses him. If he can do it, we can too."
"Yeah, and Brittany was out with Santana, right?" Marley looked thoughtful, leaning against Jake on the other side. He put an arm around her and pulled her close, and she didn't object. "I should talk to her."
Jake closed his eyes, trying to appreciate exactly what he had in his arms, before turning to Marley and kissing her cheek. She smiled, maybe a little sadly, one hand on his chest, and nodded at Ryder. When Ryder kissed her other cheek, though, she giggled.
"Okay, maybe I could get used to that," she said.
She stood, helping them both up from the floor, and they each hugged her separately before she led them to the door.
"You think you could call me, if you're feeling too sad?" Jake asked her. After a moment, she nodded.
"I'm on the side of all of us being happy," she told him. "I think this is the best way. Are you going to trust me?"
"Yeah," said Ryder, before Jake could answer. "You're definitely the smart one."
They walked out hand in hand, which felt strange enough, but when Jake bent to retrieve his bike, Ryder said, "Wait." He grasped Jake's arms, staring at him for several long moments, long enough for Jake to squirm and look away.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Just... you." Ryder smiled, and it was so goddamn beautiful that Jake smiled back. "You told Marley the truth. For us. You really want this with me, for real?"
"Yeah." Jake nodded, still anxious, but sure about that, at least. "Yeah, I want this with you. I didn't think it was going to be this easy. I was still going to do it, though."
"That's really fucking amazing," said Ryder faintly. Jake wasn't sure if he was going to fall over or something. He let Ryder hang onto his arms until he looked like he could handle standing on his own. "I - I should get home. It's time for dinner. But..." He smiled again, hopefully now. "You offered company, earlier. You could come over after dinner."
"Yeah," Jake said, not bothering to hide his eagerness. "That sounds great."
It wasn't exactly like nothing had changed. Jake thought about it as he biked home, taking the hills at top speed, pumping all the way. He decided there were two things that were different. One had to do with how he and Ryder were going to be in front of other people. It wasn't like he was all about the PDA, but it was definitely going to spark some questions if he started snuggling with Ryder at school or something. He was a little nervous about that, but if Ryder was ready to face it, he was determined to face it too.
The other was harder to put his finger on, but the more he thought about it, the warmer he felt inside. It was a warmth that wasn't quenched by his regret at Marley's decision, nor his anxiety about being public with their relationship at school. He parked his bike in the garage, and walked into the house, holding the warmth close in his chest.
His mom was sitting at the kitchen table, rummaging in her purse. "Jake, have you seen my checkbook?"
"Mom," he said.
"I thought I left it on top of the fridge, but it's not there now. Did you move it?"
"Mom," he said again, with more force the second time. She looked up, then set her purse down, watching him curiously.
"What?"
He opened his mouth, then shut it again, wondering if he was ever going to get the stupid smile off his face when he thought about Ryder. But he'd told three other people today starting with Sam, then Ryder, and then Marley. He could tell his mom.
"Marley broke up with me."
"Oh, honey." Her full attention was on him now. "I'm sorry to hear that. You, um..." She tilted her head. "You don't look too upset about that?"
"We're okay. I mean, I think she's sad, and I'm a little sad too, but... she decided to break up with me so I could be with... somebody else. I'm in love with somebody else."
"Oh." She was surprised. "Is this somebody I've met? At school?"
"Mom, it's Ryder." He closed his eyes, feeling the words changing him inside. "I'm in love with Ryder."
When he opened them again, she was still staring at him, both hands slack and resting on the table. "Jake?"
"It's been going on for a while," he went on. "I don't think I realized it until we'd - until after we were already, uh." He wasn't sure his mom would understand bros helping bros, especially considering how much time alone he and Ryder had spent in his room in the past couple weeks. "I just wanted you to know."
She smiled, still looking a little bewildered. "Um - it's just a little surprising. I had no idea you were - that you liked - ?"
"Yeah, me either? I guess I don't know what that makes me, exactly. I don't think I like any other guys like that. But I really like Ryder."
"And he likes you?" she asked. He nodded. His smile was a little out of control. She took a long breath, coming around the table to hug him. "Oh... Jake."
"I hope you're not too disappointed," he said. She squeezed him hard.
"Honey, I'm just worried. I know what you had with Marley was really special to you. I'd hate to see you throw that away for - something that wasn't."
"I'm not," he promised. "It is. It's really special to me. I was ready to make a choice, when I told Marley about Ryder. She was great about it, but... I want to do this thing with him. It's what I want, really."
"All right," she said. "I believe you. You seem very certain."
They didn't talk about it again until after dinner, when Jake asked if he could go over to Ryder's house. His mom's expression was definitely skeptical.
"Does Ryder's mom know what's going on between the two of you?" she asked.
"Uh... I don't know?" He thought about it, her willingness to give them privacy, her friendliness of him spending so much time at their house. "Maybe. But we'll tell her. We don't want it to be a secret anymore."
His mom finally decided that he could go over to Ryder's house as long as they promised to tell his mom before they closed the door to his room. When Jake pointed out it wasn't like anybody could get pregnant or anything, she laughed, shaking her head, and told him he was right - but she still made him promise to tell Ryder's mom.
Jake sent a text on his way out the door. I told my mom.
Dude, came Ryder's reply. Your not kidding around are you.
He didn't send an answer. He was pretty sure he'd be able to do it better in person.
Monday at school was anticlimactic, mostly because Jake and Ryder had both changed their status on Facebook on Saturday to in a relationship with. As soon as Marley had posted happy responses on both their walls, the news had been spread without them having to do much else about it. They got a few dirty looks in the hall at school, but mostly people seemed more curious than disgusted.
They were approached by a daring freshman at lunch, separating from his crowd like an emissary. "Are you guys, you know," he asked, "... gay?"
Ryder looked down at his hand, holding Jake's. "Does it matter?"
"I was just wondering," he muttered. Jake squeezed Ryder's hand.
"I don't know what I am," he said. "I like girls. Ryder does, too. But we like each other."
The freshman nodded with big eyes, which only got bigger as Blaine approached them in line. He seemed pleased to see them, but his expression was hard to read.
"I saw on Facebook." He glanced at the freshman, who'd returned to his group and wasn't looking at them anymore. "Is anyone giving you a hard time?"
"Not yet," said Ryder. "I think we've got enough social cred to get through this. Or maybe it's just the honeymoon period, I don't know. We'll find out."
"Well, you let me know, okay? Me, or Sam. We're not going to let anything happen to you. Santana's Bullywhips may be defunct, but that kind of bullying isn't -"
"Blaine," Jake cut in, and Blaine stopped talking. "We're okay."
"Yeah, and another thing? You don't have to know what word you want to call yourself yet. Don't let anybody else choose it for you." He was getting pretty worked up, his face flushed and breathing hard. Ryder glanced at Jake.
"I think we're cool. Is - are you okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Blaine took a deep breath. "I'm just -" He reached out and hugged Jake suddenly, pulling him off-balance. "I'm really happy for you guys."
"Thanks." The word came out a little strangled, but Blaine let him go and he could breathe again. He smiled at Blaine. "Really. You've kind of been of our inspiration."
"Yeah, you, uh, said." Blaine smiled faintly back. "You've kind of been ours."
Jake didn't exactly know what he meant by that, but he figured it was safe to thank him. They didn't get clarification about the comment until after Glee, when Sam cornered him and suggested they do some lifting in the weight room. Jake had a guess that meant Sam wanted to talk about something.
It took a little while, after they'd put the weights on the bar and moved through several rotations, before Sam cleared his throat. "The other day, when you... told me about you and Ryder."
"Yeah?"
Sam leaned in closer. "I'd, uh, assumed you were straight."
"Yeah, I assumed I was too. I guess I can't really call myself that anymore, huh?"
"Not so much," Sam agreed. He pressed his lips together. "Not... so much myself, either."
Jake tried to look surprised. "No?"
Sam leaned back on the weight bench. "Well," he said, between reps, "that whole idea, of bros helping bros? It was kind of... inspirational. To me. About Blaine?"
"How about that." Jake waited to see if Sam had more to say, but that appeared to be it. "Are you saying that you guys are doing that now? Bros helping bros?"
"No, no. I mean, when I thought about doing that with Blaine? That's when I realized it was more than just feelings."
"More than - feelings?"
"Well, yeah. All the feelings stuff -" He gestured dismissively. "- I already knew I felt that. It was the physical stuff that was confusing me. Because I thought I was straight, and a guy couldn't be straight except for one guy, could he?"
Jake smiled. "Maybe."
"See, yeah, that's what I'm saying," Sam said with enthusiasm. "So once that got cleared up, I went and talked to Britt, and she gave us the green light."
"Oh." He eyed him for about a minute before asking, "Really? She said it was okay for you and Blaine to -"
"Yeah." Sam looked remarkably calm about this. "I think we're going to keep it kind of quiet, though. Because Blaine's still trying to get back with Kurt, you know? I wouldn't want to get in the way of that."
Jake considered this. "You don't want Blaine all to yourself?"
"Well, maybe? But there's Britt, too. I don't think we're anywhere close to knowing what we want. It's just, you know." He shrugged. "New."
"But... good?" Jake couldn't help asking.
Sam's smile was incandescent. He laughed. "Fuck, yeah."
Jake wasn't sure what kind of thing to say in response, so he settled on congratulations, and that seemed good enough for Sam.
The first time Ryder's sisters tried teasing them about holding hands, Jake stopped them and said, "Do you know what homophobia is?"
"No," said Emma, or possibly Karen. They were dressed alike today, and he couldn't always tell them apart.
"When you treat somebody bad just because they like somebody of the same sex."
Karen, or maybe Emma, made a face. "That's dumb," she said. "We'd treat Ryder bad no matter who he liked."
Jake had a hard time arguing with that logic, but he attempted to negotiate with them anyway. "Can you be a little nicer, at least? Somebody might think you're being homophobic."
Karen and Emma looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay."
After that, it was pretty much business as usual at Ryder's house. Sometimes Marley still came over and hung out too, but mostly it was just Jake and Ryder. Sometimes they made out and fooled around, and sometimes they only did friend stuff. All of it was good.
Marley turned to Jake one day while they were working on their midterm papers for English. "Ever been on a triple date?"
Ryder looked up, looking mystified. "You know we haven't."
She twirled her pencil. "Want to go on one?"
"Wait, you mean with three couples? Or three people?"
"Three couples. Kind of."
"I'm assuming you've already set this up?" Jake put down his book. "With who?"
"You and Ryder," said Marley, her smile broadening, "and Blaine and Sam, and Britt and me."
"Ah." Ryder nodded. "You and Britt are the kind of."
Marley gave an elaborate shrug, still smiling. "Kind of."
"Okay, now, just a second," Jake began, but Marley was already laughing. He threw a couch pillow at her. "What the hell?"
"Come on, you're really not allowed to say anything about trying out something new," she said. "Britt asked. I said yes. Well, last week. This week we thought it might be fun to include you -"
"Last week?" Jake protested. "The two of you went out last week? And you waited this long to say anything?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're going to say that to me?"
"Okay, but that was - never mind, you're right. Forget it. Just, wow!" Jake stared at Marley, shaking his head. She began to giggle.
"Let me guess," she said. "You're thinking about us kissing."
He considered denying it, but figured there was no point. "Something like that," he admitted.
Ryder looked like he was trying to hide his smile as he reached out to hug her. "Way to go, Mar," he murmured.
"Hey," she said breezily, "it's just a case of sistahs helping sistahs."