heyhey everybody! Thanks again for all the reviews, keep em coming cause you know I love em :P I decided to update the story sooner for you all but I don't know when the next one will be up cause I haven't started to write it yet as RL is calling.

But ENJOY this one!

AN: In this story Luka is still Chief of ER.

Chapter 4

What hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away

I week later

"Abby! I've been cooped up in this bloody bed for a week. You told me you'd only have to run a few tests." Neela groaned.

"We needed to take some extra precautions, I'll uh…see what I can do, and I might be able to get you discharged today." Abby told her.

"Thank you!"

"I'll be back in a sec."

Neela sighed as she put her head back down on her pillow. She had been practising what she could say to Ray all week but nothing seemed to sound right to her. It wasn't going to be as easy as she thought it was…for all she knew he had moved on and decided to forget about her…it pained her to think that but she had to prepare herself for the worst. She wasn't going to assume anything anymore, she couldn't possibly think that all she'd have to do is say sorry and everything would be forgotten, she knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was going to take some serious grovelling for things just to be okay between them let alone having a serious relationship.

Abby returned to the room an accomplished smile on her face.

"They said its okay. You're being discharged this afternoon." She announced.

"Thank god!" Neela said with a smile.

"Yes, and we have a little trip we're going to make, I convinced Luka to give me the week off."

"Really?! You managed to let him give you a week off." Neela asked her eyes widening she had been half hoping Abby wouldn't get any time off.

"Yup, one of the advantages of being married to the Chief." Abby said.

Neela nodded.

"Lucky you!"

"Hey, why are you sounding so down, you're not having second thoughts are you?" Abby asked.

"No...Yes...maybe, what if he doesn't want anything to do with me Abby?" Neela asked glumly.

"Well at least you can say you tried, do you want to regret never going and trying for the rest of your life?" she asked.

"No…I guess you're right."

"I know I am."

"C'mon, we better get you discharged and then we've got some packing to do." Abby said cheerfully.

OOOOOOOO

And never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what I was tryin' to do

Ray sat in silence drumming his fingers on the tabletop. He had been trying to think of a way to apologize to his mum all week. Sure they had been talking normally and everything but she looked so hurt after what he had said.

"Then stop caring so much, it's not like you haven't done it these past five years!"

He cringed as he thought of the words he had spoke to her and the tone of voice he had used, full of hatred and resentment.

He knew he had never forgiven either of his parents after they had gotten divorced and both moved on with their lives so quickly and then when his mother had met David she had pushed him out of her life even more and even after she had told him it was over and she was sorry he had still hated her for pushing him out of her life…but he could see she was really trying and he knew it was killing her to see him like this and she was trying to be strong for the both of them…so he guessed the least he could do was cut her some slack.

He was snapped out of his reverie as the back door slammed shut as his mum came through carrying the washing.

She gave him a small smile like the one she'd been giving him lately as made a move to retreat out of the room.

"Mum, wait." He called.

She looked at him started.

"Is there something you need, honey?" she asked.

"No, can we…talk?"

She looked at him her brow slightly furrowed.

"Sure."

She set the basket down and sat on the chair opposite him giving him an expectant look.

"Mum look about the other night…" he began.

"Don't worry about it Ray, you were…" she interrupted.

"No mum, here me out okay, I was way out of line, you're trying your best and I know how hard this is for you and I should have never spoken to you like that." He said.

Her expression softened.

"Sweetie, you don't have to say anything you've been through so much recently and it's taken it's toll on you." She said getting up to wrap her arms around him.

He did the same, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I love you." He whispered.

She kissed his forehead.

"I love you too, Ray." She said softly.

They were interrupted when the doorbell suddenly chimed.

"I wonder who that could be?" his mum said.

She walked out of the room to open the door a few minutes later she remerged with a smile on her face.

"Ray, you got some visitors." She said.

Ray frowned puzzled.

"Who?" he said as he heard an all too familiar voice.

"Hey, Barnett."

"Abby!"

His eyes widened as a mixture of emotions went through him as a figured emerged on crutches from behind Abby.

"Neela…" he whispered.

DUNDUNDUN...mwahhh I'm evil...I wonder how Ray will react????

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