Cloud had just returned to his room for the day. An absolutely boring class had left him feeling drained and restless at the same time. He sat down on the couch and pulled his boots off. He hummed with pleasure as he stripped off his socks and wriggled his toes. He smiled down at them, remembering how Zack had told him he had beautiful feet, especially his toes.

"I love your toes. They remind me of women's toes, though. So small and pale. Fragile."

Cloud laughed at him and gave him a playful shove. "Thanks a lot," he mumbled, but a hint of a smile seeped out from beneath his façade. "I meant that as a compliment. They make you seem innocent. But…," Zack tapped Cloud's forehead gently. "I know that up here, you're not as innocent as you seem," he said, grinning.

He missed Zack, even though the man had only been gone for three days. He looked at the clock on his wall. By his calculations, if everything went well, Zack would be beating down his door in fifteen minutes. Two days ago, he had sent Cloud a text message with his arrival time. Can't wait to see you again, Spiky. Been missin' you too much. It's cold here and I need you. Be back Wednesday at five.

But Zack didn't arrive. Text messages that Cloud sent to him came back rejected; no service in the area he was in, maybe? He went to bed alone, leaving the door unlocked in case Zack came by later while he was sleeping.

A creak on the floorboard made Cloud jerk awake. He fumbled around for the lamp switch and squinted when light flooded the room. In a chair by the window, Zack sat with his head in his hands and his elbows balanced on his knees. He was sobbing. Jumping out of bed, Cloud ran to him and knelt down in front of him, taking him by the arms.

"Z-Zack? What's wrong?" Cloud asked, nearly in tears himself from the energy that Zack was putting out. Zack looked up at him from upturned palms that cradled tears, and said, "Angeal is dead. Oh Gaia, Cloud! Angeal!" Cloud caught him as he fell forward, his body wracked with grief. He could do nothing but listen to Zack's incoherent babbling and soothe him with gentle hands and kind words. After a while, Zack stopped crying and stood up. He took Cloud's hand and led him into the living room area. He flicked on a light and a bright gleam caught Cloud's eye immediately.

Balanced against the wall was the largest sword he had ever seen. He recognized it immediately as being Angeal's sword, and looked at Zack with questioning eyes.

"Cloud… I learned something very important this morning. Honor is a strange thing… You know, dreams and pride… all that shit… and… he said that they… well, you know…" Zack trailed off. Cloud had no idea what he was trying to say, and it was made even more difficult by the fact that Zack was speaking in broken sentences. One thing was heard loud and clear, though: a sentence Zack mumbled to him in earnest.

"If something ever happens to me, I want you to have it."

Cloud recoiled in shock as he realized that he had never really, truly considered something happening to Zack. Zack was too strong and too witty. Hell, he was a first-class SOLDIER now. Everyone knew that Zack was one of the best. He shook his head at Zack. "Don't talk like that, Zack. I don't like it," he said.

"But it's true, Cloud. One day something will happen to me, and one day something will happen to you. Everyone, everything dies. That's just a fact of life, Spike," Zack replied. Cloud looked away, still shaking his head.

Zack slept with his back turned toward Cloud that night, his skin reflecting moonlight and smelling of earth. Cloud didn't mind. He liked to curl himself against Zack and fall asleep with his head pressed against his back, hearing the slow thumping of his heart. It was as if he were protecting Zack instead of it being the other way around. Tonight, most of all, Zack really did need his protection.

I couldn't change what happened Zack, and I'm sorry. I'm glad that you let me be there for you, though. I remember before you fell asleep, you told me that you loved me. I was so happy, Zack. So happy that you were able to push aside your grief for a moment to remind me that you loved me. But I didn't need reminding.

The days passed in a blur. Zack was slowly beginning to move some of his things into Cloud's room. Much to Cloud's annoyance, Zack had a lot of junk. Not just the usual junk that some people keep, but there were boxes upon boxes of matchbook collections from bars and casinos he had visited. Stacks of old newspapers cluttered many of the boxes. Here and there were a few items of clothes: a mismatched sock, a ripped t-shirt that read Brunettes Do It Better. Cloud snickered at it and put it on while Zack had his back turned.

"You certainly do it well, that's for sure," he said, and Zack turned around and laughed. "Oh Gaia, Angeal got that for me a couple of years ago," Zack explained, then flinched at the mention of Angeal's name. But his eyes stayed lit up, amused at seeing Cloud wear it. He walked over to the blond and grabbed his hands, pulling him in for a kiss. "I like it more on you than I ever did on me," he said. "Oh yeah?" Cloud asked, grinning into the kiss. "If brunettes really do it better, I suppose you should prove it to me again," he added.

And prove it, he did. In fact, Zack proved it to him not once but twice that day. The first time found Cloud on his bed, knees bent and ass in the air. He really liked it when Zack took him from behind. It made him feel like such an animal, and the sounds the man made him produce were nothing short of it. The second time arrived later, and he found himself bent over his small kitchen table.

"Now, how the hell are you gonna do this…?" Cloud panted. "This table isn't steady, Zack!"

"Hrm. Slow and easy then, gorgeous," Zack mumbled, steadying himself and holding his cock in one hand while running a finger down Cloud's spine with the other. He saw the blond shudder, heard him moan and then arch backward.

A buzzing noise interrupted their coupling. "Son of a bitch!" Zack cursed, and Cloud groaned with irritation. "Hold on," Zack said, giving him a quick smack on the ass cheek. He grabbed his phone and read the message that appeared on his screen. He sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling. Tossing it aside and onto the couch, he reclaimed his place behind Cloud and leaned forward, placing a kiss on his shoulder. "We have to go to Junon," he said. "Better make this quick. You know the boss doesn't like to wait." Cloud groaned in reply and tried to relax, but he was dreading having to go out on a mission.

When he felt Zack enter him, however, all thoughts were wiped away for the moment. He came quickly, thanks to Zack being a complete speed demon. Not only that, but Zack was whispering words of love to him the entire time. He was somewhat crestfallen when Zack finally came, knowing that they would not be joined together any longer, and who knew how long it would be until they finally made love again? The thought darkened his day even more than the order to go to Junon.

That was pretty fun, though, Zack. I can laugh about it now, but back then I remember being afraid that the table would fall apart and I'd crash down to the floor below us. Somehow, I knew that you wouldn't let that happen to me. I could tell that you'd never put my life in danger in any way because you were my protector and savior in every way possible. I just wish I could have saved you.

I'm drinking again, Zack. I found another picture of you today. It was one that I took whenever we got back from Junon. The picture is so beautiful, Zack. You are sitting on my bed with your back turned toward me. You head is turned slightly to the right as if you're looking over your shoulder, but your eyes aren't looking at the camera lens. You're just in a pair of your black pants; your back looks massive from this angle. So strong. The sheets on the bed are crumpled and there is an imprint on the pillow where my head had lain beside yours.

Sometimes I roll my head around on the empty pillow beside mine on the bed. I make an imprint, then I move aside to my own pillow and stare at the empty space where your head should be. I pretend you're just out for lunch or maybe you're teaching a class, and you'll be home soon.

Believe me when I tell you that it's not the same.