Love is true friendship set on fire.
It had always sounded stupid, not matter which way it was put.
Mushy, awkward, stupid romance with a crummy hint of friendship.
As if it would make the entire wibbly wobbly crazy rollercoaster ride any more understandable. They weren't boyfriends. Whenever Tavros thought of the word he cringed. He couldn't call them 'friends with benefits' either, because he had never been interested in that sort of relationship; let alone with a guy.
Lovers? Not yet. Aside from Gamzee's wandering hands the topic had never arisen, and to be honest, Tavros felt like it was a more threatening issue than he let on. The awful turn of phrase was really the only way the disabled teenager could describe it.
Everything stayed the same between them. There were no pet names, or idle trades of personal facts or uncomfortable dates. They would sit together, in the rehab ward, or in Tavros's room, and talk, laugh, make up terrible rap songs and then…
It would always begin with a quick brush of lips. Gamzee never did this when anyone had their eyes on them. This made Tavros consider himself lucky that he could practically disappear in a crowd. On the other hand, this made all exchanges of affection brief. Kanaya, like all carers should, watched Tavros like a hawk when she was on duty. Her charge had a suspicion that she did it in fear of having to relive Gamzee taking Tavros's chair for a joy ride.
Now was one of those times where they didn't have to worry about being spotted. The blinds were drawn and the room was dully lit. The only light was the simmering flashes of colour spouting from the TV mounted on the wall across from Gamzee's bed.
"For long the two enemies looked at one another, Hook shuddering slightly, and Peter with the strange smile upon his face.
"So, Pan," said Hook at last, "this is all your doing."
"Ay, James Hook," came the stern answer, "it is all my doing."
Tavros swiped the tip of his tongue along the pad of his finger and he flicked the page over. He sat with his legs propped up and positioned to sit cross legged in front of the head of the bed. Gamzee slouched back, hardly paying attention to the book. His feet sat at Tavros's sides, prodding him in the waist every now and again. Their plans to meet in the court yard didn't happen that day. Gamzee's hand was propped up on a pile of pillows, cords held down with tape jutting from his skin. Tavros ignored the occasional clicking of the drip by the side of the bed and continued on reading.
"Proud and insolent youth," said Hook, "prepare to meet thy doom."
For long the two enemies looked at one another, Hook shuddering slightly, and Peter with the strange smile upon his face.
"Dark and sinister man," Peter answered, "have at thee."
Reading to Gamzee wasn't really Tavros's idea of a thrilling, wild, Saturday afternoon, but after only getting through three pages while constantly being berated, he gave up. Gamzee's head lolled and his eyes drooped. Tavros would have pointed out by now that he wasn't even slightly interested in Peter Pan by now if he wasn't so wrapped up in the telling of his favourite story. The impatient teen opposite him had different plans though.
The book was knocked out of Tavros's hands by a foot sliding its way along the covers.
"If you didn't want me to read to you then, uh… why did you make me in the first place?" he grumbled.
Gamzee shrugged. "Got boring."
"Peter Pan isn't boring. It is one of my, uh… favourite stories."
"Tell me another one, motherfucker."
"I'm not your…slave."
"Please, Tavbro?"
It was becoming harder and harder for Tavros to refuse his cancer-inflicted snog-mate.
"I don't… uh… have any others."
Gamzee wasn't convinced.
"We both know that's not true." He cocked his head on an angle. "Tell me yours."
"Mine?"
With a quick grunt, Gamzee straightened up and bent his back, slouching forward. He grabbed up Tavros's tanned wrist and turned his hand over, bringing a short kiss to his palm. Like learning how to dance, Tavros began to adjust to his friend's affectionate touches and take his lead. It became a natural reflex to respond with another exchange of kisses or gentle strokes. As time went on, Tavros began to slide into place with Gamzee like a puzzle piece.
"How did you lose your legs, motherfucker?"
It wasn't an alien question, but there was no getting used to it. Every time he got asked, he felt the air catch in his lungs for a few seconds. "Oh… that story…"
Gamzee turned Tavros's hand over and dragged his lips up one of his fingers, stopping to place a gentle peck to his knuckle.
"Tell me that story," he demanded.
There was no arguing with Gamzee. Tavros knew it was a dangerous habit to have, but he never really could deny him.
"You, uh, really want to know?"
A hand placed itself in the centre of his chest and guided Tavros down. He let himself be pushed back so he was lying back against the mattress before his friend. Tavros lifted his head, gazing over his chest and watching Gamzee manoeuver his legs. He didn't feel it when Gamzee spread them out on either side of him and slotted into the space between them. Gamzee let his knee glide up between Tavros's thighs as he pressed his chest down onto the smaller boy beneath him. Tavros didn't even have time to panic, his racing mind interrupted by a gravelly voice.
"Hell yeah."
Gamzee settled his chin in the ridge of Tavros's collar bone, his lazy smirk staring the other down.
A long stream of air escaped from Tavros's lungs and he forced himself to relax. Gamzee's good hand was resting under his chin and the other was dangling off the side of the metal frame. The fact that the teen above him was hooked up to a machine was enough to induce Tavros out of a full scale panic attack.
"Okay… about…uh… a year or so ago…my parents started fighting."
Tavros kept eyes fixed on the ceiling, watching the fan above them spin. The memories he had built up a barrier to keep them from flooding in slowly edged their way back. He felt Gamzee wiggle up closer, so his nose was poking into his cheek as he spoke.
"I'm not sure about what… but uh… they had been for a while. There were lawyers and arguments over… adult stuff I suppose."
He paused, waiting for some response. He wasn't going to relive the tragic moments of his life if Gamzee wasn't going to listen. When he got a tiny 'mhm' and a push of lips against his skin, Tavros continued.
"When it all came down to…me and my sis…things got a little out of hand. We knew our folks were getting a split…we just never thought we would, uh…be something they fought over."
Above him, Gamzee continued to make little invasions of kisses. Only when he traced his way down to Tavros's neck, he felt the warmth of his tongue added in. Tavros let his eyes drift closed, a shiver jolting up his spine at the sensation. He let his head tilt against the sheets, allowing Gamzee a freer roam.
"My mum… I remember her saying something, um… about how Dad couldn't even look after himself, let alone us… I still don't understand that part. I mean… he gave up drinking when my sis was born…" The thought that he was getting far too personal with Gamzee flew by at break-neck speed. It really didn't seem like an issue when he felt the scrape of teeth added to the assault on his throat. Tavros chewed his lip and coiled his arms around the thin waist pressed into his.
"Anyway… Mum took us. She said she wasn't going to wait around…for something bad to happen. Kinda ironic… when you uh… think about it."
A sharp hiss escaped from Tavros's clenched jaw. Gamzee's tongue prodded a freshly formed red imprint on the base of his neck, followed by nip and tug of teeth clamping over skin.
"Oh… shit!"
A rumble of laughter sent a gentle vibration down his collar.
"Go on…"
Gamzee shifted, angling his body so he was directly atop him. His mouth trailed lower, making quick work of mapping out Tavros's clavicle. Heat pooled around the dips in his bones, distracting the teenager from his story.
"It was…raining…full on pouring down outside, when… ah… mum got us in the car."
This was the part where Tavros felt the far too familiar kick in the stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, grabbed up a fistful of Gamzee's shirt and took in a few deep breaths. The sinking feeling in his chest was being smothered out, replaced by the delightfully prickling and burning sensation left behind by Gamzee's mouth.
"I was… in the back seat… when the car skidded…"
The rest was pretty self-explanatory.
The younger of the two whimpered when he felt the loss of contact. Gamzee propped himself up on his elbow, drawing in Tavros's eyes open with his own. The corner of his grey lips curled and his eyes were slack.
"Car accident," he stated before leaning down, capturing Tavros's lips in the kindest of ways he had ever done before, like Tavros was made out of glass.
"Your sister?" he murmured.
"Macy's fine… yeah...broken arm…cuts. Mum… well… she's always feeling guilty about it."
This time, it was Tavros who pushed a kiss to Gamzee's lips. The only way he thought possible of fighting of the sick feeling that always followed the end of this story was to replace it was the high he got from the other teenager fitted around him. Gamzee obliged, meeting Tavros's lips with a swipe of his tongue. With Gamzee sucking blatantly on his tongue and his hand grasping at the back of his neck, it was hard for Tavros to focus on anything else. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the images replayed themselves. The searing light of headlights racing towards him, the ceiling of an ambulance and the one that he never could shake, his Dad's face hovering over him, shouts forming into his name.
Gamzee rolled his hips, pushing down his pelvis onto Tavros. Whatever horror that was retelling itself was erased from his mind. Like every other teenage boy, hormones swarmed his body and left him with his head snapped back and his mouth morphed into the shape of an 'O'.
"Gam-zee!"
Tavros was panting, his rising and falling at a tremendous speed. Smirking eyes met his.
"Oh… so you can feel somethin' down there," Gamzee purred into Tavros's ear, taking his ear lobe between his teeth. He repeated the action, thrusting himself against the younger boy. The friction between them was maddening. Tavros knew exactly what it was that was making his trousers uncomfortably tight. He was very well aware that Gamzee shared this factor.
"Y-yeah… yes, of course."
The blood rushed from his head and down his body, making all thoughts a struggle. Mechanically, Tavros held tight to Gamzee's back. It was funny how the sensation was so overbearing, but so minimal at the same time. Another gasp was forced out of him when Gamzee began to rut, rocking himself back and forth. Every other word that fell from Tavros's lips was incoherent muttering from then on.
Gamzee buried his face into the crook of his neck, dragging lethargic kisses up his skin. Tavros felt the palm against his throat slip, mapping out his shoulders and then to the bridge of his chest. The younger teen unravelled his arms from around Gamzee, letting them fall languidly behind his head. His body melted away underneath his friend's hand, shuddering as it passed over his stomach and down towards his waist line.
"Gamzee…"
Tavros supported his torso on his elbows so he could stare down at the boy draping his chest. Gamzee lifted his head, his pupils fully blown. His jaw hung slack, the edge of his tongue sliding from the tip of his lips. He lifted himself on his good hand, maintaining the non-existent space between them.
"Stop fucking teasing…"
Their eyes connected and like a chain reaction, they both shared the same slack grin. Tavros caught his breath as he pushed up, circling his arms around Gamzee's neck and bringing their lips together and pulling him back down onto the mattress.
The door slammed.
The puppy-love grin on Tavros's face was smacked clean off and his entire body froze. He felt like a child being caught in the act of stealing a cookie. His natural instincts made his frame freeze in place, not even daring to move a muscle. Unlike his partner, Gamzee didn't have the same opinion. He didn't break his eager rutting pace or the onslaught of kisses he tracked on Tavros's lips for a second. It was as if the third person in the room was mere fly perched on the wall. The situation could end one of two ways from then on. Either whoever it was could get flustered and leave in silence, or they could just stand there in total silence and confusion. Unlucky for Tavros, his carer wasn't the type to do either.
"Pardon me, but may I interrupt?"
Tavros squirmed, dropping his arms from Gamzee's body and attempting to shove him off. Gamzee merely made a disappointed grunt when he felt the palms push against his shoulders and moved his lips down onto Tavros's neck.
Tavros soon found his voice.
"Gamzee… get off of me."
A fierce blush formed in his cheeks, scorching right through his skin. He curled his little hands over Gamzee's sleeves and gave another yank. Panic charged through him when he heard Kanaya's footsteps grow louder as she approached.
"Please…" he added weakly.
At last, Gamzee took the message. He separated his lips from Tavros's and sat back, sitting up on his lap and casting a glare to a corner of the room.
"Mr Makara, I will have to ask you to remove yourself from my patient."
Kanaya's voice hovered behind Tavros's head, most likely near where his wheelchair was parked at the end of the bed.
From below him, Tavros watched the once pleasant smile on Gamzee's face twist and turn into a scowl. The side of his mouth was hoisted up, exposing his bared teeth. The look on his face did not suit the usually over-calm teenager. Tavros shifted, wiggling his hips and using his arms to pull himself as far back as he could. With the new gap between them, he was able to watch his two friends glower daggers into each other.
"Gamzee…"
Tavros's voice lifted the tension.
"Could you… uh… get off my legs please?"
He flinched violently when Gamzee snapped his head in his direction. The pale teenager's eyebrows were knitted close together and his eyes were narrowed. To Tavros, it was the most threatening face he had ever seen.
A sound erupted from inside the dominating teenager, a mix between a groan and a growl. He shifted, recoiling back and returning to where he had recently been sitting. During the entire process, his eyes never left Tavros's. The 15 year old felt completely and utterly locked into place. He was finally detached when Kanaya's arms circled around him, lifting him from the bed and into his chair. He allowed her to fuss over him, letting her slot his legs back into place and unclasp the breaks on the chair. Tavros eyed Gamzee, who glanced away.
Behind the grey paint, the thin boy was wearing a pouting face, similar to one of a child's who didn't get what he wanted from a toy store. Gamzee refused to look in his direction, focusing his eyes on the foot of the bed.
"I'll see you later, okay?"
Tavros reached up, brushing his hand over Gamzee's forearm. The little touch brought Gamzee back, turning his attention back to Tavros.
"Later, motherfucker…"
A quick kiss was traded between them, which was coarsely interrupted by Kanaya pushing the wheelchair forward.
Tavros didn't get a chance to look back when he heard another displeased snarl emit from his friend.
"Gamzee Makara.
Out of all the patients in the entire hospital, it had to be Gamzee Makara."
Kanaya paced back and forth across the room, her arms folded. Her emerald eyes never left Tavros.
"Miss Maryam…"
"Gamzee. Makara. Gamzee 'deranged lunatic, predatory scoundrel' Makara."
"Miss…"
She held up a finger. "No, no, no. I have not completed my rant! First of all, why? Why him? He will hurt you, Tavros. You know that. Secondly, how? And thirdly, what were you thinking?"
After escorting Tavros from Gamzee's ward in record breaking time, Kanaya had left him in his room alone for the rest of the afternoon. He knew she was bound to reappear sometime to speak her mind so he had spent the rest of the evening preparing how he was going to explain himself. However, all his carefully prepared arguments deteriorated when she stormed in at around 8.30pm.
"Please, Miss Maryam… just uh… hear me out."
Her strides came to an eventual stop. She stood across the room, drumming her slender fingers on her forearm.
"Okay, Mr Nitram. Please explain to me why you allowed Gamzee to hump you like some possessive beast at a petting zoo."
Tavros's face flushed. "That is not what it was!"
His voice rose into an octave it never had before.
"I didn't let him, Miss Maryam. I wanted him to!"
He sighed heavily, slouching back into his chair. Kanaya blinked and raised two fingers to her temple, massaging back an oncoming migraine.
"Alright. Okay. Fine. Let's just…take a moment to gather ourselves."
Tavros swallowed dryly and nodded. His hand trailed to the centre of his thigh, his fingers rapping out a random beat. Kanaya pulled out one of the visitors' chairs from Tavros's bedside and dragged it across the floor. Once it was facing across from him, Kanaya sat in that elegant way she always did.
She was the first to speak.
"Perhaps I wasn't clear, when I asked you earlier about your relationship towards Mr Makara."
"No…you were clear." Tavros avoided her gaze. "It's just got a bit…uh…different since then."
"So, not 'just friends'. I understand."
"We aren't boyfriends…if uh…that's what you are thinking," he defended rather protectively. "It's weird…kind of, uh, hard to explain."
"Then don't." Kanaya rested her elbows on each arm over her chair, bringing her fingers together to steeple under her chin.
"I would just prefer it if you would clarify me the, ah, nature of this partnership you have established with him."
Tavros wasn't exactly sure what she was asking him, so he translated her vocabulary into something understandable.
"I'm not, uh…gay or anything…not like Gamzee. I just… I just like having him around. Uh, having him…have me."
He glanced nervously up at Kanaya but her expression remained unreadable. Her head bobbed, cropped black hair swaying around her jaw.
"I do not condone your relationship with Gamzee Makara. Although, I have no particular hatred towards whatever one's preference is, I would prefer it if Gamzee wasn't one of yours. I hope you understand the full consequences of this association. He will hurt you. In the end, he will bring turmoil upon you. You must understand that."
She tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear before settling her hands into her lap. Although Tavros didn't admit it, he appreciated the fact that there was someone else who he could confine with. Kanaya was the only person in his messed up, spiralling-out-of-control life that he could trust with his relationship matters.
"Do you intend on going public about this? Tavros, you do realise that there are people out there who might not be so accepting of your predicament."
"I don't know, Miss Maryam. I really don't know."
His fingers picked up their pace, drumming out beats in a prompt tempo.
"I didn't want…uh…anything complicated. I like him…a lot. He likes me. I, uh, thought that would be it."
Her Cupid's bow lips curled into a pitying smile.
"In a perfect world, it would be that simple."
Tavros gazed down at his tapping fingers, feeling hollow. He could already predict the next words that were yet to emerge from Kanaya's mouth.
"But this world can hardly be classified as idealistic. You are a paraplegic. Gamzee is a homosexual cancer patient. I'm sorry, Tavros, and I don't mean to rain on your parade, but how could you possibly have thought this would work?"