Chapter Four - "Where You Belong"

Nick walked into the squad room, he looked around and it almost felt like he had been away for years. He knew if he told anyone this, they could think he was crazy, after all he's been in the squad room many times over the last six months. Not to mention it had only been six months since he was last in the squad room as a SVU Detective. Some how it still felt like it had been longer then it was. He figured he'd show up early so he was ready for go and get off to a good start. As he walked over to his desk, or rather his old desk, he thought about how he had missed this place and the people we got to work with everyday. He knew he was a fool for letting it all go, but he was going to fix things. He was going to make things right again, he didn't know how but he was. He was just getting settled back into his desk when he heard footsteps, he looked over to see Amanda walking in. She stopped when she saw Nick.

"You're back?" Amanda said. Nick could see she was shocked and possibly didn't know he would be back.

"Yeah, today is my first day," Nick said.

"That's good," Amanda said. She continued on her way and to her desk.

"If things are going to be an issue we need to figure them out," Nick said.

"No things won't be an issue," Amanda snapped at him. "It's not like you told me you were moving to California to be with Maria and Zara and now you're back at SVU?"

"I had every intention of going," Nick said. He walked over to Amanda's desk. "Olivia asked me to stay. She said if she could get me back to SVU that I should stay. This is only temporary."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Amanda said. "We need help and you come back only to be temporary?"

"It's complicated," Nick said.

"I'm sure it's complicated," Amanda snapped.

"I told you Amanda, I never wanted to hurt you," Nick said to her. "You're my friend and co-worker and if anything happened to jeopardize that. I have lost so much already I don't want to risk losing something as important as this."

"I'm sure that is what you want to tell yourself," Amanda said. "You tell yourself whatever you need to hear to get you through the night."

"It's not about that Amanda," Nick said. "There is a lot of things going on and dragging the people I care down about isn't one of them. That is what I was doing, I see that now. I've just been able to understand my mistakes and the choices I've made. I know I've made some bad choices, but I'm trying to make it right."

"You can't here," Amanda said. "I really cared about you Nick, I really care about you. You just act like I was nothing important."

"That wasn't me then," Nick said. "That was the me that was going in a downward spiral, because I believed so many things were my fault. I did tell you that this wasn't going to be anything and that I was going to get my family back. I didn't hide that from you Amanda."

"So why don't you do that? Go get your family you want back so badly," Amanda said.

"Amanda," Nick said.

"Don't," Amanda said before walking away. Nick watched as she walked away, before heading back to his desk.

"I drank you under the table," Nick heard a female voice said.

"That is not possible," Nick heard Fin responds. He turned to see Fin and the new detective walking into the squad room.

"Actually that is true," Nick said. Fin and the female turned to see Nick. "It's impossible to drink Fin under the table."

"Nick welcome back," Fin said. He walked over to Nick, the two shook hands before hugging each other. "Nick this is Detective Madison Burnett."

"It's nice to meet you," Nick said. He reached out his hand and the two shook hands.

"So you're Detective Amaro," Madison said. "I've heard a lot about you. Was wondering if I'd get to work with you."

"I'm just sorry when ever I came around, I didn't really introduce myself or talk," Nick said.

"Look I get it, you think I took your job and wanted to avoid me at all costs," Madison said.

"That's not true," Nick said.

"Yes it is," Fin said.

"Don't listen to him," Nick said. "I would explain to you, but kind of boring."

"I'd gladly listen," Madison said. "Maybe over drinks."

"I don't think that would be appropriate," Nick said. "It's sweet of you to offer."

"What's one drink? We are going to be partners after all," Madison said.

"I think we should remain professional," Nick said.

"Professional? Who wants that," Madison said. She walked closer to Nick. "Come on, what you got to lose?"

"A lot," Nick said.

"Madison step away from Nick right now," They heard Olivia's voice said. They all turned to see Olivia standing there with Noah in his arms.

"He put me up to it," Madison said pointing at Fin. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done it."

"Fin put you up to this?" Nick said. "I'm going to get you for this."

"That is for you saying you were moving to California," Fin said.

"Can we get to work," Olivia said as she walked to her office.

"It's good to have you back, look forward to working with you," Madison said before walking to her desk.

"You really wouldn't have, would you?" Nick asked.

"I'm actually married, so no," Madison said.

"Enjoy it," Nick said as he gave her a small smile. He walked past Fin's desk and into Olivia's office, closing the door behind him. He walked in just as Olivia got Noah all settled. "Things okay?"

"Things got a little messed up this morning," Olivia said. "Noah's been fussy and I expected to have things together for your first day."

"I got that welcome from Fin," Nick said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry about that, I should have warned you about that," Olivia said.

"It's fine, I actually missed that," Nick said.

"You should get back to work," Olivia said.

"I'm here Olivia if you need me," Nick said. "Remember that one." Nick then walked out the office and back to his desk.

"We got a case, anyone seen Amanda?" Fin asked.

"I think she's in the crib," Nick said. "Why don't you take Madison?"

"Come on," Fin said. Him and Madison headed out of the squad room. Nick thought about walking into the crib to see Amanda, but he figured things would just end up worse then before. He just started rearranging his desk, trying to get used to being back. Moments later Amanda walked back into the squad room and to her desk.

"Fin and Madison caught a case," Nick said.

"You didn't want to go," Amanda said coldly. "Play hero."

"Look," Nick said as he got up from his desk. He walked over to Amanda. "You can hate me all you want, but we need to be professional."

"Maybe we don't need to be working together anymore," Amanda said to him.

"Amanda we don't need to do this," Nick said to her. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he never thought it go to this place.

"I think we do," Amanda said. "This isn't going to work, it never was. "

"Amanda I care about you," Nick said.

"I can't do this Nick," Amanda said. "I can't be here if you're here. I really cared about Nick, I mean really cared."

"I know," Nick said. "I never meant for things to happen. I was an ass for leading them go on as long as they did."

"Ass is too nice." Amanda said.

"You're right," Nick said. "I was never trying to hurt you Amanda. I knew this would never be anything and I really thought you did too. If I could go back and do thing differently I would."

"Well you can't," Amanda snapped. "I guess we just are what we are now."

"Amanda," Nick said.

"Just don't Nick. Just don't," Amanda said before walking away. As Nick watched her walk away he couldn't help but feel he was going to be her downfall this time around. He wasn't going to let that happen. She was his friend and he's already lost to much he wasn't going to lose her too.

AN: This might seem a little Nick/Amanda heavy and sorry for that one. Was trying to do something for the next chapter, as well as how Amanda's not in this good place.
This is a Bensaro fan fiction, just trying to go with the show a bit. We will get back to the Bensaro goodness.