Hello everyone, I'm sorry it has been so long. I've been on the go non-stop. I have now found a way to write on the go. So...I'm back! I hope all of you enjoy the new installments of my story. I live in Oregon about an hour from Forks Washington. Today's weather is working well for my creative juices.
chapter 4 Awkward stay
I rolled around in my sheets deep within my dream I didnt think I would ever want to wake up from...I was watching the waves crash against the sandy beach...it wasn't like the beach at the reservation. The cold that I knew would be there if it were, was no where to be found. The sun was setting. I took a deep breath in and sighed outward. The sound of my breath echoed across the ocean like a mystic breeze. I heard sand shifting, stone grinding against pebble, a disturbance in the puzzle that beach earth generally fits into. Earth raped by the ocean leaving what we call sand. Only the largest of feet known to belong to a human being could be it's inflictor. Jacob. I felt his large warm hands cover my eyes.
"Guess who?" Jacob whispered softly into my ear. I smiled knowingly. He thinks he's so good. Instead of giving him the satisfaction I decided to turn around making myself wrapped in his arms.
"Hey!..You were s'posed to guess!" he complained. I chuckled and ran my hands up his smooth, warm face until my hands were wrapped in his short spiked hair
"I love you Jacob." I confessed to him. I felt a small jolt in my unconscious body registering that, even awake I would know those three words to be true. Three words that can complicate so much.
"I love you too Si.." With that the echoing in my head began again, hearing the last syllable of my nickname drawn out like a single note on a keyboard.
I became suddenly aware of my mortal body, lieing motionless on my bed, my eyes still closed. I opened just one eye, hoping that I would still be infront of that sun setted sky..but no. I was in my room with my pillows every which way and my blankets practically thrown off the bed. I stuggled to flip over so I was on my stomach so that I could squint at my alarm clock. It read 7:30. Shit. School starts in twenty minutes. I let out a groan as I threw myself out of bed. I started hopping towards the stairs trying to pull my shirt over my head as well as trying to lace up my shoes. If this is how today starts I'm not sure that I want to see the end of it. Then again...ending my day with seeing Jacob...how could that go wrong? I ran out the door without eating. It was nastier out then normal. It wasn't a normal drizzle, it was a bonafied down poor! I ran as fast as I could hoping to salvage some of myself from being doomed to being a walking marsh or puddle, but who was I kidding? Talk about lost cause that had been lost from the moment I took a step out from the safety of my porch's awning. What? You can say I'm being dramatic but whatever, I'm a San Fran kid. It might as well be raining bunnies.
As if the big man himself was calling my antics pathetic, I mis-stepped into a puddle landing hard flat against the cold rain soaked ground. I scrunched up my eyes and felt tears start to brim the corners. No, not tears of pain, but tears of defeat. I hate rain. I half pondered wether I should just lie there until I died. Just when I about came to a resolve I felt hands wrap around my body. My eyes shot open in shock. I was hoisted upward. Still in shock I just sat there and blinked at the beautiful man that saved me.
"Jake?!" I sputtered. "What the hell are you doing out here?!" That's when I blushed. I timidly traced the smirk on his face down to his strong chest that was slightly contracted making the tan, rain slicked muscles stand out further. "And shirtless." I barley croaked out, as it had been uttered only at a whisper. He laughed and looked back down at me shaking his head.
"I always come out here in the rain...it feels nice. Are you alright?" he asked, changing the subject. I nodded but didn't say anything. I was still trying to fit the peices together. Something just didnt fit. I idly scrolled my eyes up Jacob's body until it struck me.
"Jake! Your steaming!" I shouted out of shock more than anything else. It was literally true. steam was cascading in sheets from his sholders, disapating as it rolled off. The sheer heat of his body was of enough contrast to the cold outside to condense the moisture in the air. He looked at my shocked face and doubled over backwards laughing.
"I'm sorry Ice Princess, that's what hot blooded men do." he ended with a smirk.I loved how his face formed around his half-like smile. At the same time I hated it. So smug. Who am I kidding? I could'nt hate a thing about this guy. He pulled me out of my mused thoughts.
"Hey so, your soaking wet. You can't go to school like that...can you?" Jacob pondered. I looked down at myself. My pants were spackled in mud and leaves were plastered up into my hair. Pulling my shirt from my soaked body so I could take a look at the wreckage I realized he was right.
"I suppose not..." I said slowly. I looked up at him sheepishly. Jake's eyes suddenly grew wide in excitment.
"Why don't you just come over now then? Let's skip." He smiled an evil smile. " Unless your too good for that...?" Jake paused waiting for my reaction. I raised my eyebrow. He clearly has a lot of learning to do about me. I answered him trying not to look faised in the slightest.
"Lets." I stated simply. That half grin became a whole. He motioned to follow, so I did. We walked for a block or so until we reached his bike, which was infront of a small auto shop. He hopped on his bike and turned the keys, revving the engine loudly.
"Why where you at this dumpy place? " I asked sizing up the auto shop that had it's roof half caved.
"Cause it's dumpy." he explained " I get by parts for dank cheap here."He finished.
"Oh." I said like a dumb ass. He smiled and padded at the empty space of leather seat that rested behind him. I grabbed the helmet, hopped on as well and we were off.
We arrived at his house in what seemed in seconds. I had gripped Jake's jacket for dear life. He had been going so fast I had braced myself for a crash every second of the trip.
" So if you'd like you can go change and take a shower before we go into the shop." he suggested politley.
"I would deffinantly take you up on that offer...but I don't have any spare clothing on me." I admitted. He rolled his eyes and let, what seemed to be every once of air escape his lungs in the largest exasperated sigh I've ever heard.
"You can borrow mine you dork." jake laughed. I blushed. How dumb of me. He does this to me, its not not my fault. I'm actually quite smart. I rolled my eyes and followed him up to the house. We walked up the creaky wooden steps and he roughly swung open the screen door.
"My dad's at Charlie's watching the pre-game so he won't know we skipped." Jacob said turning back to me for a moment.
"Who's Charlie?" I asked. I don't know why I asked or should care, but something inside stirred..as if my body associated Charlie with danger. Jacob's face seemed to darken in a way I didn't understand.
"He is a family friend. His daughter and I used to be...friends I guess." He explained in a manner that, if I wanted today to go well I wouldn't push it further...right now anyway. I shrugged and pushed past him into his house.
" make yourself feel at home..." Jacob muttered sarcastically. I turned to him on the point of my heel.
"Don't mind if I do." I said, smiling up innocently at him. He laughed. I took a quick look at his house, remembering how we first met after the dinner, I had thought was sure to ruin my life. I past the kitchen and the dining room to reveal a stair case that asended out from the living room. As we got to his room he spun around.
"So, it's a little messy. I was going to clean it after I got off from school." Jake said admittedly. I smiled and jokingly patted his shoulder. The feeling of his skin touching mine was electric yet.
"I think I'll be alright but thanks for the warning Jake." I laughed again and pushed open his door. His bed was off to the left with the blankets everywhere, his desk had papers strewn everywhere...everything was everywhere. I looked up at him with an arched eyebrow.
"What? I told you I didn't have time to clean up!" He tried to explain himself but, I wasn't listening. Little did he know I was in love with his room. The messiness was cute in a way. I couldn't help but smile. I looked up at him again and I caught his confused expression. It softened when our eyes locked. I quickly broke eye contact to avoid him seeing what my heart and soul truley felt for the man. He cleared his throat and went in his room and rumaged through his drawers.
"Here" He tossed some shorts and a wife beater at me.
"I'm going to freeze!" I gocked at him. How anyone could wear this at anytime in Forks Washington anywhere was beyond me. He made a sound of disbelief and tossed me a sweatshirt. He came over to me grabbing the bottom of my shirt.
"Why don't you give me your wet clothes so I can get them dry for you to take home." He said, more of a command then a question. I shrugged and started to pull my shirt off. A bit self conscious. I thought to myself, what if he thinks my body isn't good looking?
When my shirt was half way over my head my back began to sear. I let out a small whimper before I shoved my shirt down forcibly. I can never take my shirt off! He will see my scars!
"Are you alright?" Jake asked, worry stricken across his face. I thought fast.
"Yeah I'm fine, I think I must have pulled a muscle when I fell.I'll just try and get it off in the bathroom. Where is that by the way?" I said fast enough to not let any room for dispute come to play.
" Uh...it's in the hall to the right." Jacob stated slowly giving me a sideward glance. I had no time to figure out what that look ment.
" Cool, Thanks Jake. Meet you at your auto shop!" With that, I turned and almost jogged out of the room. Once I was in the bathroom with the door locked, I stripped my shirt. I went up to the sink and sighed when I half way turned to see my back. The scars were more red then ever. I crained further. I reached over myself to touch the red slashes on my back. I could barley reach the tip of the middle one. I pulled my hand away in scared suprise. It was extremely hot. I turned the shower on cold. I stepped in cringing at the cool specks of water bouncing off the ground, hitting my legs. I held my breath and backed in under the water. The cold water was giving me my desired effect. Sure, the rest of my body was a pop cycle but the irritation on my back was subsiding. I got out of the shower, dried myself off and put on the clothes Jake had given me. The wife beater was a little big, and the shorts were a little long but that was okay. They smelled of Jake. Besides, I looked like all the straight boys dressed back home in San Fran...Except the pant sagging part.
I stepped outside. It had stopped raining but a mist had settled in, making everything look dream-like, yet damp and cold. That would deffinantly not be in any dream of mine. Off to the left I saw a little red garage which, at this point was barely red. It had been well warn by the north western weather. I peered around the side seeing a pair of feet that I knew had to be Jacob's. His radio playing in the back ground to a song I thought I knew. I will possess your heart by Death Cab for Cutie. I smiled and was about to turn the corner into the garage until I heard a voice that wasn't Jacob's. My breath caught.
"Jake, C'mon! We planned on going cliff diving today! " said the boy...well whined the boy actually if I were to be perfectly descript.
" Look Embry, I already told you I have other plans today!" Jacob sounded a bit frustrated. I heard the boy sigh in defeat.
" Whatever. I'll let the guys know your ditching." Embry replied, shrowded with disapointment. I heard footsteps. I ducked off to the side so Embry wouldn't see me as he left. Once I thought it safe I came jogging up from a slight distance so Jake would think I had just got there. I stopped infront of his lower half of his body. The only visible part at the moment. I smiled. I gave his foot a soft kick.
"Embry! I told you-" Jacob began, but as he slid out from the dirty crawl space from under the car, he saw it had not been Embry at all. The anger desolved from his face and a smile crept up instead.
"Ha! There you are Si! I was beginning to wonder if you got lost in my clothes or somethin...and by the looks of it, it was a close call." Jake chuckled.
He always seemed to crack himself up. I gave him a look. I don't know if he thought of me as small but that must be fixed now.
"Excuse me Jacob. I'm not as small as you seem to make reference to." I said indignantly. He looked at me with his head all cocked to the side, his face slighly contorted. He was clearly trying not to laugh.
"Your hand." he said as he held his out and waited. I very much wanted to hold his hand but...I knew he didn't want to hold it in the same way as I did. I gave him my hand, not looking him directly in the face as to not give myself away. He took my hand and held it up to his. palm to palm. I out streched my fingers but they only reached his second knuckle...barley.
"So if your not so small then why can I practically engulf your entire hand?" Jake chuckled. Before I had time to give my usual witty response, Jake being destracted by our conversation let his hand relax so his fingers gently slipped through mine. I blushed. I knew he didn't do it on purpose but god...his fingers felt so good, like they were ment to be there. Rough and strong and extremely warm.
"I uh..well-" Is all I could get out before he took such an aggressive step forward. I almost fell backwards. His chest was inches from my nose. He smelled like pine..grease and another musky scent I couldn't give a name to...but I liked it. He pulled my chin up, which drove me from my inner thoughts.
"And why must you look at gods ass to look me in the face?" He asked. He clearly knew he won the battle here. I was caught in his beautiful, brown eyes dripping with hints of honeysuckle. His face became serious. We sat there looking at eachother for what seemed like forever. For me, even then it would be too soon to look away. I was far beyond caught up in this guy. I realized then and there I had given him the power to break me. I had lost this battle and the victor was staring me in the face. Nothing could reasonalize denile. It was too late.
Reality crept up on me. This was getting weird. Too weird for me to cover up. I had to do something...Ah, thank you Jake for making this so easy.
"Gods ass?! What the fuck Jake!" I busted out laughing. I took a step back out of his hands grasp, still laughing hard. He looked slightly shocked...maybe disappointed, then annoyed.
"You know...like God is in the sky...you had to look straight up to see me..you know." His explanation turned into a mumble by the end. I looked at him with my lips pursed. I pretended to think on it. I leaned on the car next to us scratching at the rusted paint.
"No Jake I really don't know but that's okay. You keep that one. Oh and, after you fix this car...make sure you paint it too." I said full of sarcasm as I left the garage.
"Hey! where ya goin?" Jake asked. He trotted outside his little auto shop so that he could keep me in view. I turned back to him, but kept my stride only, reverse.
"I'm hungry!" I shouted.
"Hey! Wait up! I'm hungry too." Jake shouted back. He ran past me into the house. I couldn't help but smile. I tried thinking less of how unattainable he is.
"So why don't you go shower and I'll make something to eat." I suggested.
"You don't know your way around my kitchen though." Jake pointed out. I let out a small chuckle.
"I'll manage." I said simply. Jacob merely shrugged and bounded upstairs.
I made my way over to the kitchen and looked into the cupboard. Pasta. Perfect. Can't go wrong there. Mid-prep I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out to examine who had needed of my contact. I knew though. Only Jake and my dad know my number. Low and behond Dad was across my phone's iluminated screen.
Silas! Get your ass home now where ever you are!
I got a call from school saying you never showed up!
Your grounded son.
I looked down at my dad's text in disbelief. I should have known the school would call. Great. I started to feel tears fill my eyes. Grounded..that means no jake. Ugh. I hate him! I thought but...in all reality this one really was my fault. What was I to expect? I had to head home...now. The worst part is I know Jacob will blame himself. Just as my thoughts were reeling me into a frenzy Jake popped up around the corner.
"Okay, what's for dinner?" he asked smiling. I was shocked that I didn't hear him come down the stairs, so shocked that I didn't have time to hide the emotions on my face. His smile dropped and he came over to my side. I tried fervently to rub out the tears and pretend they never happened. He grabbed my elbow to catch my attention. He leaned down and to the side to try and meet my eyes.
"What's going on Silas? What's wrong?" He whispered. I looked at him with shameful eyes. I didn't want him to feel bad. I tried moving back but he grabbed my elbow harder and brought me closer to him. Almost as close as we were before in the garage. He had an intensity in his eyes.
"Look Jake, it's not your fault so I dont want you to-" my pleeding was cut short with a gentle shake.
"Just tell me what happened." Jacob demanded. I took a deep breath.
"My dad just grounded me for skipping school...the schoool called Him." I mumbled out, not meeting his gaze. Jake sighed and leaned against the small island in the middle of the kitchen. He looked up at the ceiling for what seemed like several minutes.
"Well..I better take you home then." Jake said and went over to the key rack to grab his car keys. It was way too cold to use the motorcycle.
"Jake! it's not your fault! I made the decision to skip."I pleaded with him.
"Yeah, but I suggested it." Jake commented. His face was filled with guilt. Before I knew it I had ran over to him wrapping him in a hug that, suprisingly after a moment he returned. I guess I couldn't stand the thought of him feeling bad because of me of all people.
"Lesson learned right? Can we drop it now?" I asked. He had his forehead resting on my shoulder. he mumbled in defeat. On the outside looking in, what we were doing in that moment may have looked like a "more than friends" thing to do but to me it felt natural. I couldn't think of it as more than our friendship closening...I can see multiple ways of my heart breaking if I were to start.
We walked silently to his his truck. We both got in and he started the heater, only because he saw me shaking to the bone. The ride to my house was fairly quite except for the hum of the engine and the sound of Jake white knuckling the steering wheel. The leather twisted and warped under Jake's hot hands. I was afraid he was going to snap the wheel in half. He was clearly still mentally kicking himself over my state of groundedness. I let out a a small sigh. I leaned my head against the window and looked up watching the tree tops pass. They became fuzzy with a vinguette as the heat from my face spread condensation across the car's passsenger side window. I recounted today's events. Getting grounded was worth it. I had the best day of my life. As that sound thought spread it's way through my body, warming me up and tickling my heart, I felt a smile spread widely on my face. No matter what I tried I couldn't stop smiling. Jake was so wildly intwined in my thoughts that I had actually forgotten about him being phisically next to me.
"What you smilin at?" Jake asked confused on what there was to smile about. I sat up abruptly coming back to earth.
"Well...besides getting grounded...I had a great time today. Getting grounded was the world trying to...equal things out." I said, still smiling. He looked at me as if I were a little crazy then too, he smiled.
"I had a great time today too." He said, meeting my eyes momentarily before returning his eyes to the road.
When we pulled up in the driveway of my house I could see my bedroom light on and the tv downstairs was switching from its blues and grays to its whites, letting you know it was on.
"Shit.." I muttered. Jake gave me an uneasy look.
"What's wrong." Jake asked, but I was already fuming. I jumped out of the truck and practically flew up the porch stairs. My dad was on the couch.
"Finally you decide to show up!" My dad yelled, but I wasn't ready to hear him either. I took the flight of steps to my bedroom in two's. I was coming in too fast. I grabbed the door frame and swung around to see my room demolished. All my things thrown every which way. Fuck no he didn't. I screamed in rage and turned to see him waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. I don't know what was coming over me. I'm usually a much calmer and collected human being...I swear. I couldn't seem to hold my rage back. I felt a seering pain through my back as if whatever or...whoever left those scars on my back was once again, ripping me a new one. I staggered down the first step as the pain hit.
"How dare you invade my privacy! You really are starting off well dad. First-" I began, as I slowly walked to meet him at the bottom of the staircase. "You out me to practically everyone on the reservation and now this?!" I shouted.
"I have every right to go through your things. You are my son and you are living under my house! You gave me no choice. I was looking for something that might lead me to where you were! I almost called officer swan!" My dad yelled back. "Grounded!" he yelled and point a distinct finger towards the staircase. My anger vanished because in a way...I knew he as right. I let out a chocked sob. I turned and ran to my room, I stared at the reckage.
I slumped down amiss it all. I continued to cry. Why was getting along so hard? Why did it seem one of us was always screwing up? I was at a loss. When you think its getting better it just falls apart. Like Dominos. You feel so confident until one you fumble and its all over. There isn't anything to do but be mezmorized by the sheer vastness of the destruction. Just then, I realized I had completely forgotten about Jacob. I got up and ran to the window. His car was gone. My eyes welled up. How could I have taken him for grantid?
"Ugh! I'm so sorry Jake." I sobbed to myself. A hugged myself and turned trying to make my way to my bed.
"Sorry for what?" A man whispered roughly behind me. I jumped and would have fallen but the man grabbed me by my shoulders to steady me. It was Jake. I was too greatful to see him to find it weird that he was suddenly in my room...but don't worry. I'll think on that later. I ran slash fell into his arms. I barried my face into his chest and openly sobbed. I needed to get it all out. My mother...the devorce...the move...the constant fights with my dad and how someday Jake would make a girl very happy...not me. Jake picked me up in his arms and walked towards my bed. He sat down and gently laid my limp, exhuasted body on the sheets. From this point I dont remember much. My eyes would barely stay open. All I remember was a strong heart beat that lolled with the song of sleep and a kiss on the forehead that still burned fresh when I woke up the next morning.
Small taste of the next chapter:
I pulled at my sheets. Once my body realized the warm man that had kept me safe as I slept was no longer there, my body told me to open my eyes. As I did this I sat up pulling my knees into my chest. My room was still a mess...but I couldn't deal with that right now. I had school. A shiver ran down my back prickling the hair on the back of my neck. My window was slightly a jar. I stumbled over all the shit on my way over to it. I scowled at myself. I latched the window...but didn't lock it. How did Jake get to my second story window?