Tara couldn't help it - she cried the entire ride home and even after she had gone inside and showered. She is now curled up on the couch trying to watch some bullshit lifetime movie but all she can think about is Jax and how broken he looked even after all these years.
Tara tries not to think about how incredibly attractive he is. She knows he'll always be one good lookin' man and isn't the only one to think so. Girls have always had their eyes on Jax and it used to drive Tara insane when they were younger.
Jax and Tara weren't much for crazy parties with a bunch of strangers. Well, Tara wasn't so Jax stopped going to them when they got together. They decided to go to this one in particular though because Donna wanted them to tag along and wouldn't stop pestering them.
"Oh, c'mon, guys! We never do things like this.. Let's just go to this one party and if we don't like it we'll split!" Donna begs. Jax is quick to respond. "Why though? We can do everything that will go on there right here in Ope's basement.. Drink, smoke, fuck. That's all parties are." Donna glares at him. "You used to be the one dragging us to the parties! Please, I just want to check it out!" Opie sighs in frustration. "Fine, we'll check it out. But this better not be about Pam Gregory because I know she will be there. I told you she stopped talking to me."
"This isn't about that bitch, Ope. In all honesty, Tori Sanders' house is huge and has an in-ground pool and I haven't been swimming in so long.. Besides, I think I scared Pam away for good now and if not I'll whoop her whore ass." Donna grins, making them all laugh. Tara butts in. "Yeah, sure. I'm in if the guys are in. It's just one party. Plus, we get to drink for free." Donna almost squeals.
The four of them arrive while the party is in full swing, half the kids already trashed. They all head to the keg before Donna strips down to her bikini and jumps in. "Come on in, babe!" She pleads. Opie just looks at her while shaking his head with a grin. "Not gonna happen."
Jax doesn't drink much because he has to drive and Opie doesn't drink much because he wants to wait until he gets back home. It's only been 45 minutes and Donna's already had plenty to drink including some shots and is definitely pretty buzzed. Tara is a little buzzed but not wobbly like Donna, and she and Jax both laugh as she (Donna) chugs another cup while running away from Opie as he tries to take it from her. "I think you've had enough for one night.. Are you ready to leave? At least but your clothes back on." Donna shakes her head. "I have to pee! Then we can leave, you party pooper." Tara and Donna wander into the house to find a bathroom as Opie and Jax wait outside. "We need to get out of here.. You know how Donna can get after shots of Tequila. Jax laughs and brings up the time she flashed them all numerous times and almost cried the next morning when they told her about it. Opie slugs him in the arm.
Pam Gregory approaches them in a very skimpy bikini. "Hey, boys. Where are your old ladies?" She sneers. "Actually, never mind that. So Jax, you and Tara have been together longer than I would have expected. It's been over a year hasn't it? Never thought you'd end up with the smartest girl in our class.. You should hit me up when you're done tapping someone so bland and want someone who can really rock your world." She winks seductively while leaning in close.
Before Jax even has the chance to tell her to fuck off and get lost, someone taps Pam on the shoulder. "Oh, look who-" She is cut off by Tara's fist connecting with her face. Donna gasps. "Fuck yeah, Tara!" Tara shakes her hand out while wincing in pain. "Consider this your warning, you fuckin' slut!"
Jax and Opie grab their girl friends and hurry out to Jax's pick-up truck. Donna and Tara sit in the tiny seats in the back while Opie sits up front, clearly too tall to even consider sitting back there. "That was fucking awesome, Tara!" Donna exclaims. "Yeah.. I guess it was pretty cool.." Tara admits, trying to be modest. Other than that she stays pretty quiet. "It was sexy, babe." Jax tells her while winking at her in his rear-view mirror.
Tara smiles and cries at the memory. It was the first time she had ever punched someone in the face like that and the start of her "bad-ass phase." She didn't make a habit of it, but she realized she wasn't afraid to do it if she thought it was necessary. That's what actually made her feel somewhat like an old lady but what Pam said kept ringing in Tara's seventeen-year-old head. She feared she wasn't right for Jax and cried to him about it that night in Opie's basement after the other two had gone upstairs to have some alone time.
"Is Pam right? Am I too bland for you? Do I not rock your world?" She sniffles. Jax shakes his head and sighs, hating to see her sad about something so far from the truth. He opens his mouth to tell her to stop being ridiculous but she beats him to the chase. "You know what, fuck her! I do rock your fucking world!" She spits angrily. Not even five minutes later Tara was furiously riding Jax - her favorite way to let out all her frustration. "How's this for rocking your world?" She asks breathlessly while rocking back and forth, up and down, moaning each time he thrust his hips to meet hers as she came back down. Jax, clearly in pure bliss, just groans her name in response.
Tara was so mad about that night but from then on out the jealous girls didn't matter to her anymore nor did they get under her skin; Jax didn't pay them any attention because Tara was the only girl he wanted. She knows that hasn't changed about him and wishes things could have worked out for them or at least ended on a happier note - not abruptly and earth-shattering.
Jax wasn't very talkative when he got back to his mom's. He used the rest room and brushed his teeth before heading to the guest room. He changed his shirt and slid on some plaid pajama pants before walking out to the living room to tell Sydney goodnight. "I'm going to bed, kid. Give me a hug." Sydney, curled up into a ball with her face buried into a book, looks at the clock on the wall. Not wanting to bug him or press him for information, she just stands up and wraps her arms around him. "Goodnight, daddy. Do you want me to stay out here tonight?" Jax shakes his head. "No, honey. Come lay with me when you get tired." He bends down to kiss her head. "I love you. Goodnight."
Jax disappears down the hallway and Sydney gets up to talk to Gemma. "He went to bed already, Grandma.. that's weird." Gemma sighs. "Well, he's had a rough day, baby. Abel's premature birth and health concerns and Tara being back in town must have fucked with his head." Sydney frowns. "Tell me about her. Please?" "What do you wanna know? You've heard a lot about her already, Syd.." Sydney exhales while closing her eyes. "Tell me good things! I haven't heard too many positive things about her and I know she can't be some evil witch if dad was so in love with her." Gemma smirks. "She flipped his life upside down when she left.. but she made your father so happy, honey. They got together not too much longer after John died. She helped him through that and he helped her through losing her father as well. Abusive, drunk bastard he was. Tara stayed here with us more than at her own home so when she left I was a little offended.. I treated her like one of my own. But, you'll have to ask your father if you want more details."
After thanking and hugging Gemma, Sydney finds Clay to hug him goodnight. She brushes her teeth before heading to the bedroom and notices Jax hasn't turned the light off yet. She knocks on the door to be safe. "You can come in." Sydney opens the door and gasps at the site of Jax smoking a cigarette in the room she scrubbed down and cleaned from top to bottom. She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. "What?" He asks clueless. Without responding, she takes the cigarette that's between his fingers and stubs it out on the ash tray that is now sitting on the nightstand. "Oh, shit! Look, Syd, I'm sorry." He gets up and opens the window and turns the ceiling fan on as she takes the ash tray and puts it back in the living room.
"That ash tray wasn't in here when you went to bed because Papa was using it in the living room.. when did you get it?" Jax runs his fingers through his long, blond hair. "About ten minutes ago." Sydney's eyes widen, knowing he must of heard her and Gemma talking. "Yeah, you're busted." He jokes, trying to grin. "I'm sorry, daddy... I thought you were going to sleep!" Jax snorts. "I couldn't right now even if I tried. You can go to sleep though, baby. I'll go sit in the living room." Sydney grabs his hand as he stands, making him look down at her. "No, please stay here. I'm not tired yet. Will you talk to me?" Jax sighs, knowing where this is going. "Ask away."
"When did you meet her and how did you get together?" Sydney asks curiously. "We were in the same grade ever since we were little kids. I always knew who she was but we never spoke to each other. It wasn't until high school that I actually took notice of her. We both ended up with detention in one of our classes and we talked the entire half hour. I even gave her a ride home after that because she didn't have a car or even a license and her drunk father didn't give a shit. From then on, we would talk before before and after classes and in the hallways before I finally decided to ask her out." Sydney, being the typical girl, smiles wide. "Oh, daddy, that's so cute! Who would've guessed you were actually sweet!" Jax looks at her through narrowed eyes before cracking a smile.
"So then what?" Sydney asks intrigued. "I asked her what she wanted to do and she told me that she wants to do what I normally do on Friday nights.. so we went to a party - her first party. People were so surprised to see us together and kept bothering us about it so we left. We came back here and sat outside on the patio until 3AM. Then we-" Sydney puts her hand up to stop him. "This isn't already going where I think it is, is it?" Jax laughs. "No, it's not. I'll definitely spare you any details like that." Sydney sighs in relief and makes Jax laugh once more. "We started hanging out a few times a week and I asked her to be my girlfriend. We were both sixteen and had many ups and downs. Two years later, we got in a huge fight that resulted in us breaking up for a few days.. which also resulted in you. We got back together but she was so upset and angry with me for getting with another girl - things were never the same after that."
Sydney takes in what Jax has just told her and bites her lip to keep it from quivering. "What are you thinking?" Jax asks while tucking the hair that is falling in her face behind her ear. Sydney smiles but keeps quiet, not wanting her voice to crack. "Sydney, c'mon on." Jax pushes. "It's okay, you can tell me." Sydney opens her mouth to speak but her throat tightens up and immediately silences her, tears rolling down her cheeks when she blinks. Jax lovingly puts an arm around her and rubs her back and waits for her to say something. "I'm sorry." She sniffles. "For what, baby?" He asks her with concern. "I'm sorry Tara left and that you're still in love with her. It makes me upset, dad. I want you to be happy." Sydney cries. Jax sighs and closes his eyes in an attempt to ignore the pain in his chest but continues to listen to his daughter. "You made a mistake - a big one - and it really hurt her. But I think it maybe could have worked out if.. if.." Sydney doesn't say it, but Jax knows exactly what she is referring to.
"Don't you dare think that way. Tara wasn't accustomed to the "club life" and we both knew it. I'm pretty sure she would have ended up leaving anyway. I don't regret keeping you, Sydney. Don't ever think that, you hear me?" Jax commands as her cups her chin and gently pulls it up so their eyes meet. "You saved me. You gave me a reason to wake up in the morning and I love you so much, Syd." Sydney cries as she holds her hand palm-out to him like she always did when she was little. Smiling, Jax presses his big hand against her little one before pulling her into him for a hug. "I think that's enough for tonight.. you should get some sleep, okay?"
Sydney falls asleep quickly in the arms of her father and Jax is able to relax knowing she is safe and close, no longer in tears. "Sweet dreams." He whispers before falling asleep as well.
Tara tossed and turned all night, dreaming of the day she left Jax. She is awake when her alarm goes off and gets up to drink coffee - she knows she is going to need it. She is going to be with Abel all day and knows she is going to run into at least someone who wants to see him. Her mind wanders to Sydney as she ties her shoes. She looks a lot like Jax with a splash of Ashton, including the darker, curly hair. Tara wonders what she's like. Hard-headed and stubborn like Jax? She hopes she doesn't act like her mother.
Tara does her rounds before checking on Abel. He's done well over the night and she is very pleased. "Dr. Knowles, how are you? I'm here to tell you that it's been a few hours since his vitals were last checked and that someone sent you flowers. We didn't want to enter your office without your permission so they are at the front desk." Tara thanks Dr. Lang, doing her best to mask her confusion. Who would have sent me flowers? Hopefully there is a card.
Tara was disappointed when she found out there wasn't a card, but she still put the flowers in her office. It's been 9 hours and she is just now on her late lunch break, deciding to eat in her office. She eats the lunch she packed and does some paperwork before going to check on Abel. He's been in an incubator and will be for a little while longer so she hasn't been able to hold him really. She sees people approach the window in her peripheral vision and looks up. Her breath hitches in her throat at the sight of a very sexy Jax and his beautiful daughter. She smiles, knowing it's the right thing to do and Sydney actually smiles back. She heads for the door.
"How is he?" Jax asks, skipping over a greeting. "He's doing fine - not much improvement but no worse than he was when I left last night." Jax presses his lips into a firm line as he remembers their conversation from last night. Before anyone can say anything else his phone rings. "Excuse me." He says as he walks down the hall to answer it and leaving Sydney and Tara alone. "I know you obviously don't remember me because you were a newborn when I last saw you, but I'm Tara.. I'm sure you've at least heard something." Sydney nods and smiles which makes Tara feel better. "I'm Sydney, but you already know that." "What grade are you going into this year?" "Seventh.. I'm nervous for junior high." Tara smiles, thinking back to those days. "Ahh, don't be. You'll be fine." She reassures her with a smile.
Jax comes back with an annoyed look on his face. "Your grandmother expects us to be at the carnival tonight." Sydney grins. "Only if you promise to buy me a funnel cake!" Jax smiles. "Only if you promise to not bug me all night for game money." Tara can't help but smile at their father-daughter interaction. She can't imagine how protective he must be of her. "Hey, why don't you go get me a pop from the vending machine?" Jax suggests while pulling out his wallet and handing her a five. "Get something for yourself too." He says in response to her glare.
"Wow, Jax.. she's absolutely beautiful." Tara exclaims, making Jax smile genuinely. "Yeah, she is.. thanks." Tara bites her lip with a smile. "I bet you're a helicopter dad." Jax raises his eyebrows with an adorable, mocking smile."Oh, really? I can't imagine why you'd say that." Tara just laughs. "It really shows how much you love her - just the way you look at her.. It's very sweet. But you made her leave so you must have something to say?" Jax takes a deep breath. "I just don't want to fight with you.. I want to be civil for the sake of my children and the club.. do you agree?" Tara feels relieved but there is still a tug in her chest. "Yes, I agree completely, Jax. Thank you."
Sydney returns eating a Take 5 and hands Jax a Coke. "Looks like someone doesn't really want that funnel cake." Jax says before taking a swig. "Oh, yes I do... or game money." She grins while batting her eyelashes. "Thanks for everything, Tara. We'll see you later." Tara nods. "My pleasure." She listens to their conversation as they walk away. "Don't look at me like that, kid. It's not gonna work." Sydney gasps which makes Jax crack up. "Yes it will and you know it. Save it, softy." She teases. Jax stops walking for a split second to swing his leg back behind the other one and kick her bottom. She tries to do the same but he dodges it and laughs as she decides to shove him instead.
Thanks for all the awesome reviews, I truly appreciate it! I get so excited to post another chapter when you guys leave me feedback! This one is a little longer. Do you guys enjoy flashbacks? Note: Suggestions are always welcome. Thanks again, you're all amazing!