Chapter 4

Overall, Sasha was feeling good. Everything went well and although he would of preferred to have had more alone time with Payson, he was satisfied with what he got. He was even pleased he decided to dress so well. He wasn't going to deny the fact that he enjoyed her starting at him like she did. He also wasn't going to deny that he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

She was absolutely stunning. Sasha couldn't help but think back to how beautiful she looked. Her burgundy dress fit her perfectly and her makeup made her look elegant. She was growing up right in front of his eyes and it made him feel old.

Sasha shook his head and sat down on his sofa. He felt like a fool. You are old. How do you expect someone who is just starting their adult life to want to be with someone as old as you are?

"I'm not that old…" Sasha rebutted the voice in his head. He was only twenty nine. Twenty nine wasn't old at all.

Twenty nine is old when you're interested in an eighteen year old. Which was true. Although, who was to say that Payson was even interested in him? Her feelings for him were confused when she kissed him, or so he told himself. Sasha could never figure out women and Payson was no different. She was his gymnast. Of course they would be close. He couldn't help but feel like what they had was more though. He was close with his other gymnasts as well, but what they had felt completely different.

He looked out the window and saw that it was already dark. He could smell the cold earth. The familiar sent of fall was comforting to him. Sasha stood up and walked over to his trailer door, wanting to get some fresh air. He opened the door and paused. His eyes widened in surprise. He could feel his heart start to race.

"Payson?" he questioned, staring at the beautiful woman in front of him. She was standing a few feet away from the trailer, her car parked in the parking lot behind her. Her long blonde was cascading gently around her shoulders and she was beaming at him. He watched her chest rise and fall, clearly proving that she was out of breath. Her long red dress was flowing around her legs in the slight breeze.

"Forever," she said, her voice absolute. Her eyes stared straight into his own and he could see how serious she was.

"Payson…what are you talking about?" he asked, completely confused.

Her brows furrowed in annoyance. "Don't play dumb, Sasha. I read your letter," she told him, taking a few steps closer to the trailer. "I want you to stay with me forever."

Damn it. Sasha turned his head and looked at the kitchen table where he had placed both of her letters. He tilted his head slightly to look under the table and saw a white envelope with a bent corner lying underneath the table. He looked up at the open window above the table. Everything made sense now. He had given her the wrong letter.

"Payson…I…that letter-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Payson interrupted, coming even closer. "Did you want to wait until I was legal? Was that it?"

"Yes, well, you see…" he began, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact. "You weren't supposed to receive that letter. That was just something I wrote to get them off my chest. You weren't ever supposed to see it," he explained and she shook her head.

"Do you think it matters now? I saw it, Sasha. I know how you feel. You are the only man I want to be with, Sasha Belov," she asserted and he could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. It was true that he wanted nothing more than to be with her but it wouldn't be right. He could lose his job if anyone ever found out. It would also mean betraying Kim's trust, something he wasn't willing to do.

"Payson…I want to be with you-"

"Then be with me," she said, determination in her voice. There was nothing holding her back anymore. She was one of the most determined gymnasts he has ever seen. Payson always went for what she wanted.

Sasha shook his head, a solemn expression on his face. "We can't. As much as I want to be with you, there would be too much risk. I'm not going to risk your career and your success on a relationship between us," he said and saw that Payson was slowly starting to understand.

He watched as she took a few steps closer. He stepped back into his trailer to allow her to enter. As soon as she did, she gently shut the door behind her and turned to face him.

Sasha could see the pain in her eyes and he longed to make it disappear. He had made a mistake and should of made sure to have given her the right letter. She was so disappointed and he could tell.

"Payson, I'm so sor-"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Shut up," she softly whispered.

The next thing he knew, her arms were around his neck and her soft lips were pressed gently upon his. He knew the right thing to do would be to push her back just like the last time but he just didn't have it in him. He wanted her too badly for that. This time, his heart took control.

He slid his arms around her back and pulled her close to him. She pulled away for a second and looked him straight in the eye. He rested his head against her and smiled. She returned the smile and slid her hand up the back of his neck and intertwined her fingers in his hair.

"Just this once," he whispered and placed his lips back upon hers.

They started out slow with sweet and gentle kisses, testing out the water. It didn't take them long to become comfortable with one another.

Sasha ran his tongue along her bottom lip, silently pleading for an entrance to which she obliged to. If there was one thing Sasha was going to crave after everything was over, it would be the delicious taste of her mouth.

Their tongues darted around each others as they explored their mouths. Sasha ran his hand slowly down her side while his other softly stroked her neck. She moaned softly into his mouth which was definitely the sexiest sound he ever heard her emit. He snaked him arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his body.

She pulled away slightly for a second and eyed the shirt he was wearing. She gave him a sly smile before she reached up and started unbuttoning the shirt. A few second later his shirt slid off and her hands traced his muscles as she began to kiss him once more.

Sasha lifted her up and she straddled her legs around him. He carried her to his sofa where he laid her down on her back. She smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling with pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. He entangled his fingers in her soft hair and trailed kisses down her exposed neck. Sasha sucked and nibbled on the skin lightly and she tilted her neck to the side so he could get better access.

"Don't leave a mark," she requested softly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I won't," he promised and went back to softly biting her neck. He then wrapped his arms around her torso and gently flipped them over so she was on top of him.

Their hot bodies pressed against each others as their mouths reconnected. Sasha couldn't help but feel her soft breast against his exposed chest and he had no doubts that she took notice of his arousal that pressed up against her. He reached up and tucked a strand of hand behind her ear and she pulled away. She looked down at him and he could see how much she wanted him and how much she cared for him.

Payson crawled off of him and he sat up. He then pulled her into his lap and held her close, much like he did that night after Worlds. He stroked her hair and she wrapped her arms tightly around him, her head resting on his chest.

"We shouldn't have done that…" Sasha muttered, killing the mood entirely.

Payson looked up at him in alarm. "Do you regret it?" she asked and he shook his head.

"No. Not at all. Although I probably should," he admitted and pulled her closer to him. "I don't even want to let you go. I just want to hold you like this and never let go."

"Then don't," Payson said, taking his hand and interlacing her fingers with his.

Sasha let out a sigh and rested his head on top of hers. "You know I have to. You know why we can't do this, Payson. I know you understand the reasons why. I also know that you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your chances at Olympic gold," he told her and she remained silent.

Finally, she stood up and turned to face him. "I'm an adult now. I can date whoever I want now. I am above the age of consent and legal. I am an adult woman who can make her own choices. I go for what I want and what I want is you, Sasha," she declared, her mind completely made up.

Sasha stood up and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I know that's what you want, Payson. I want that too, I swear to you. I have to think of the other girls as well. I have to think about the team. I can't let a selfish act like us being together ruin everything. Especially when we're so close to achieving your dream. The Olympics aren't far off. I just can't risk it," he confessed and gently brushed his fingers against her cheek before letting his hand slowly fall to his side.

Payson remained silent for a moment, taking in everything he had said. After a minute or so of silence, she nodded her head. "So what do we do now? Obviously things between you and I are going to be different. It's not like we can fall back into the same routine as we did before-"

"We're going to have to try," Sasha objected. There was no way he was ever going to let anyone know about the feelings they had for each other.

"After the Olympics then," she suggested, taking a step forward so they were only inches apart. "We'll wait until after the Olympics and pretend like nothing ever happened. After the Olympics, we can be together. I can wait," she asserted and Sasha knew that there would be no going back. Everything was going to be different, but he had to try and act as if everything was normal.

He smiled a small smile. "After the Olympics then," he said and lifted her chin up with his bent index finger and thumb. "I will wait," he told her and kissed her softly on the lips. He closed his eyes and wrapped his hands gently around her neck and cheek before pulling away. Payson was beaming at him and he chucked softly. "So…did you really mean what you said?" he asked, a teasing smile on his face.

Payson looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face. "Did I really mean what?"

"That you wanted me be with me forever?" he inquired and she quickly looked away, her face turning bright red.

"Of course I meant it. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't," she told him, looking him directly in the eyes this time so he could tell that she was serious. Sasha smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm glad to hear it. You should probably get going though. It's late and I know you have a dinner you should be at," he told her and she nodded.

She grabbed his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow then?" Payson asked as she walked with him towards his trailer door.

"You better. You have practice tomorrow, after all," he said, quickly reverting back to coach-mode.

"Thanks for the necklace. I love it," she thanked him as she looked down at the gold necklace hanging around her neck.

"It looks beautiful on you," he told her and Payson smiled at the compliment.

She opened the trailer door and let go of his hand. "Later then," she said and walked out of the trailer and over to her car.

"Wait, Payson!" he called out and she turned around. "Happy Birthday," he said and she smiled.

"Thank you."

Val's Note: Hey, guys. I actually really enjoyed writing that chapter (Although I typically enjoy writing all of my chapters for the most part). You have to be proud of me for kicking out two chapters in two days. That's amazing for me. Sometimes when I write, I just can't stop.

So, this chapter was intended to be the last but I honestly do have ideas for more chapters. Ideally, this chapter was supposed to end with Sasha and Payson being together and not waiting but that wouldn't be very realistic and it bothered me. Thus, they're waiting...or at least going to try.

My question is: On to chapter 5? Yea or Nay? If yea, would you rather me leave the story here or write a sequel? Please leave me a review letting me know.

Thanks for everything, guys. :)