Chapter 4
Soooo does it show I'm grovelling and begging forgiveness. I sat and wrote out a few chapters and decided that as I had left you guys hanging for so long that I would speed post on the off chance your all still there waiting. I am really sorry, hopefully I will have more in a couple of weeks if not sooner.
Nobody's child - The Beatles
Flashback
She had sat on her bed in a musty smelling room and pulled her trainer out of her bag, with clumsy writing she wrote James underneath Thomson and Davies. She wondered if this one would last longer than a year, maybe she should just add Smith to the list now and save herself needing to do it in a few months. With a sigh she put her clothes in the small drawers she had been allocated, she would be sharing a room with two other girls this time. Yup this was definitely a short term home she thought with a sigh as she made her way downstairs.
As I was slowly passing
An orphan's home one day,
I stopped for just a little while
To watch the children play.
Alone a boy was standing
And when I asked him why,
He turned with eyes that could not see
And he began to cry.
Mrs Smith was an older woman and she looked very strict. She had quickly told Tara that meals were at 7:30, 12:30 and 5:30 and if she was late she would go without. She had been given the chore of dusting until her arm healed and she could help out more. Strict wasn't so bad Tara had thought, how wrong she had been. Little Tommy had been shoved in the closet two months later and a month after that they had all been removed when a surprise check had revealed them all huddled in the closet after they had tried to protect Tommy who had stopped talking.
I'm nobody's child,
I'm nobody's child.
Just like the flowers
I'm growing wild.
I got no mummy's kisses
I got no daddy's smile.
Nobody wants me,
I'm nobody's child.
The list had grown again, she now had Thomson, Davies, James and Smith. Before the year was out Sanders had joined the list after they used their foster kids for menial work, she had done 6 months of hard chores before she was moved to the Browns.
End of Flashback
She put the chicken in the oven and started on the vegetables, she winced at the kick the baby made and rubbed her hand over the spot with a smile. Their baby would never know the foster system, she had made sure of it, her and Bobby had made a will last month and if anything happened to her or Bobby then the baby had a long list of people that would take him or her in. She glanced at the clock and smiled Bobby would be home shortly, he had been leaving the office and getting back buy 6 at the latest since she was put on bed rest.
No mummy's arms to hold me
Or sue me when I cry,
'Cause sometimes I feel so lonesome
I wish that I could die.
I'll walk the streets of heaven
Where all blinds can see.
And just like for the other kids
It will be a home for me.
Flashback
The Browns had been an okay family not great but not bad either. They had fed the kids and given them clothes and a roof over their heads but they hadn't really cared much. When one of the older girls had come home knocked up and beat up at 15 well social services had decided that maybe they should all be moved else where. They had lasted 3 months.
The Johnsons had been great until they left four year old Jamie in the car while they went shopping and social services decided that maybe they had too many to look after and removed all bar the teenagers Mandy and Jason. This one had been 3 months.
The Lee's had been fantastic and Tara had grown complacent, she thought that she had found a place to stay, a place that could truly be home for the now 8 year old. She had been with them for 14 months, she got to celebrate a birthday with a family that she had been with for longer than 2 months. Then the Lee's had gotten a baby of their own and they no longer needed Tara as a apart of their family.
The Jones came next and her shoe was getting full, she reckoned that she could fit maybe another two names on it. Of course it wasn't the shoe she had started with, no she had carefully copied the names across when she grew out of her shoes, but at this point she figured she could recite the list in her sleep. The Jones had been a stop gap, she didn't even unpack this time, what was the point, two months a year maybe if she was lucky she would no doubt be moved on and have to pack it all up yet again. She wondered if she would spend her 10th birthday with this family. She doubted it.
I'm nobody's child,
I'm nobody's child.
Just like the flowers
I'm growing wild.
I got no mummy's kisses
I got no daddy's smile.
Nobody wants me,
I'm nobody's child.
End of Flashback
The meal was cooking and Tara set a timer on her phone and headed over to set the table. She smiled at the photos on the far end off the table as she went to get the cutlery out of the side table drawer. She had been making a scrapbook for the baby the last few months, she had collected together all the pictures she could find of their family both at work and away and had painstakingly started putting them into groups in the book. She had almost filled it halfway already to her surprise and she wondered what ten year old her would say if she knew that in 15 years she would have such a big family. She was no longer the little girl who shied away from people getting close, she had been hurt yes but she had also been so loved. Tara set the table before she rounded it and thumbed through what she had put together, she paused on a picture of herself at ten with the Williams family around her.