Chapter Four, Primeval Match . Com

Jess moved through the crowd, passing out the papers. She then rejoined the table.

"So, who did everyone get? Abby?"

"I love you, Connor."

"Oh, I know Abby. No worries, besides no one takes these results seriously," he said.

"Except maybe Vale," said Matt.

"How is he doing by the way?" asked Jess.

"Bilson seems to be caving," said Becker. "It might be the oysters though."

They all laughed. "You were saying, Abby?" asked Connor. "You love me…"

Abby laughed. "Yes, I love you, but…"

"What?"

"These matches are lame," she said.

"Who did you get?" asked Jess, laughing along with everyone.

"Well, Connor's data paired me with Em's boyfriend, your boyfriend, and apparently Nicole's."

"Vale is NOT my boyfriend!" cried Bilson.

"Not yet," said Vale.

"On the plus side," said Abby, "the questionnaire paired me with Connor." She smiled and kissed him.

"See?" asked Jess smugly.

"Yeah," said Connor. "See? It proves my point. Abby wanted to match me."

"I didn't bother to fix the answers, Conn."

"No, but you wouldn't necessarily know you were answering them a certain way. It's psychological."

"Whatever," said Abby. "The questionnaire also paired me with a couple of the youngest guys in my section." She smiled.

"Um…you seem happy about that," said Connor. "Should I be worried?"

Abby laughed. "Of course not. I just figure it may be easier now to make them clean up after the creatures."

"Abby, you can't use my results as coercion. It's unethical," said Jess.

"I don't think it would hold up in court," said Abby, smirking.

"How about your matches Emily?" asked Jess.

"I have been paired with Matt," she said, smiling at him, "and with Chef Rice."

Bernie had been nearby with a tray of oysters. He heard. "I'm flattered, Miss Merchant, truly, but I'm a little too old for you."

She smiled graciously at him. "I do not believe so."

Matt raised an eyebrow.

"I do enjoy speaking with you about history and cuisine," said Emily as Bernie nodded and smiled.

"Jess, if I lose my girl because of your questionnaire, I'm going to be very cross with you."

"Sorry, Matt," said Jess, giggling. "The ARC and its representatives, that is, me and Connor, are not liable for the results of the matching processes."

"Or the cross-ness," said Connor.

"I think you're safe Mr. Anderson," said Bernie. Matt laughed.

Emily read on. "The matches provided by Connor are…Abby, what was the word you used?"

"Lame."

"Yes, thank you. They are lame, Connor."

Jess giggled hysterically while the others broke out laughing.

"What a bunch of science haters!"

"Who on earth did you get, Emily?" asked Jess.

"Only two of the men listed truly disturb me. The first one is the Captain."

"MY captain?" asked Jess, looking at Becker.

He laughed. "Yeah. I'm kind of glad she's the one who mentioned it."

"Do you agree?" asked Emily.

Becker nodded. "Oh, absolutely, although I wouldn't have called the match 'lame."

"How would you describe it then?" asked Jess.

"No way in hell."

Jess giggled and looked to see if Emily was offended. She was laughing as hard as the rest of them.

"I concur," she said.

Jess sighed with relief.

"The other man was, perhaps, more illogical," said Emily. "I was also paired with Lester."

Becker had taken a drink and now spewed. "What?"

"That's not right," said Connor.

"I know!" cried Jess.

"Yeah, he's married. He shouldn't have been a possibility."

"That's not what I meant!" cried Jess. "He's too…"

"I'm too what, Miss Parker?" asked Lester, appearing behind her.

"Oh…hi."

"Yes, hi," he said, looking at the laughing people. "Very funny. I do not actually see how having me as a romantic match is ridiculous."

No one said anything. They were trying to regain their composure.

"I do apologize," said Emily. "I did not mean to offend."

"Of course not. You have breeding, Lady Merchant. You come from aristocracy. As do I. Speaking from purely a scientific point, a match between me and you, or someone of your standing and grace makes perfect sense."

"Of course it does," said Jess.

"You'd be more believable, Miss Parker, if you weren't trying so hard not to laugh in my face."

"I'm sorry!"

"Who did you match up to, by the way?" asked Lester.

"Oh. Um. I don't know yet," Jess said.

Connor scoffed. "I know she matched to Becker in her questionnaire answers."

Jess read her paper. "Look, Honey! We matched!" she cried with fake surprise. Connor shook his head and chuckled.

"Who did I, I mean, the science pair you to?" asked Connor.

"Hang on," she said. She looked up with surprise. "I'm paired to…you?"

"What? That can't be right," said Connor.

"Makes sense to me," said Becker. "You're both computer geeks."

Jess looked appalled. "Don't call me a geek, Becker!"

"Me either!" cried Connor.

Becker smirked and leaned into Jess. "You're a gorgeous, adorable, desirable geek," he purred.

She giggled. "Thank you. That's better," she said with a warm pink glow across her face.

"And me?"

"You're just a geek, Temple."

Jess laughed and returned her attention to the list. "I'm also paired with…Vale?"

"Oh my, God! No!" cried Vale. He seemed genuinely panicked until he smashed his billionaire smile at Becker. "Curse these Adonis good looks and my charm that puts the brilliant nightingale to shame!"

"You ham," said Nicole.

Becker laughed. "It's a good thing he can joke about it." He looked at Vale and dropped all emotion. "I'm not laughing though."

Vale's eyes widened and he went pale.

Jess began to giggle. "Shame on you, Becker! Vale, I like you, but you're too intimidating for me."

"I know. I get that a lot."

Bilson rolled her eyes. "Jess was being polite. She meant to say that you're fake, arrogant, and annoying."

"Ouch. That's harsh, Miss Parker."

"I didn't say them!"

Becker laughed. "Maybe we should pretend you did, for the ARC's safety."

"And for Vale's."

"I knew you cared, Nicole."

"I know how much Lester hates hiring replacements."

"I really do," Lester agreed.

"Anyone else I should…keep my eye on?" asked Becker.

Jess smiled. "Let me check," she said, reading the rest of the list. "No way! Connor you must be joking!"

"Why? Who is the match?" asked Abby.

Jess looked at Lester.

"No way!" cried several voices at once.

"Not again. I'm a catch!" Lester cried.

"Sure you are," said Matt, laughing.

"Explain yourself Miss Parker," said Lester. "You do not seem as flattered as you should be."

Jess turned red. "Oh. It's just…you're a little…"

"Old."

"Captain, I can fire you."

"Stuffy," said Jess. "Yes. You're…refined. Look at you. Now, look at me. Our wardrobe styles alone indicate how different we are."

"True. I am a classic, while you are more a thing of the moment."

"Was that an insult?"

"Nah, he just meant that you wear the latest styles and fashion," said Becker. "You're fresh and lively."

"And Lester…isn't," said Matt.

Lester straightened his tie and held his head up high. "Dignified. I'm dignified."

Jess giggled. "Yes, you are." She turned to Becker. "Thank you, by the way, sweetie," she said, kissing Becker.

"You know, Connor, you've had some real misses," said Matt, "like with this May-December pairing."

"December? How dare you!" cried Lester. "I'm not near that old!"

"And Jess wouldn't be May," said Connor, "more like January."

"I'm not that young!"

Becker chuckled. "You're the perfect age."

Jess smiled. "It's your turn," she said.

"Okay, but remember…"

"I know: it's for fun," said Jess. She smirked. "And you're insanely in love with me."

"I am."