Hey guys, sorry for the super long wait. I've been really busy, and now that school's started I'll be even more busy. I would have updated sooner, but I figured that with Mockingjay now out, no one would want to read it anymore. But then I got a review from Ilovetheboywiththebread1416, telling me to update. That really motivated me to post the next chapter, so thank you very much! If it's been a long time in between updates, feel free to review or PM me telling me to get off my lazy butt and update. :) So, here it is! Remember to review, please.
I wake to a knock on my door, and get up slowly, still half asleep. As I make my way over to the door, I trip on the carpet and fall over, right onto my face. I swear, I'm killing whoever woke me up. I crawl the rest of the way there and pull myself up using the doorknob. When I open it, Haymitch is on the other side, an amused expression on his face.
"What do you want?" I ask, annoyed.
"Just thought you'd like to pick out a spot to burry Peeta," he says with a shrug. "But if you're too tired…" I glare at him, but the glare isn't nearly as menacing because of my tired expression.
"Fine," I say. "When?"
"Now," he replies, grabbing my arm and pulling me down the hall. It's a good thing I wore my clothes to bed last night, because Haymitch obviously seems to be lacking the sense of giving me time to get ready. I don't see why we have to do this so early, anyway. We have the whole day to pick a spot and dig a grave. We end up in a large room. Finnick and Gale are waiting for us, shovels in their hands. Gale presses a button, and a hatch opens up above us, stairs forming to greet us. We climb out into sunlight, and it feels so good to be outside again. The rest of my sleepiness washes away with the sun, and I take in a deep breath of air. My eyes search for the perfect spot to burry Peeta. It has to be somewhere beautiful, somewhere unique. Somewhere the sun is always shining, because he doesn't deserve to be hidden away in the dark, not even in death. Haymitch and I have already kept so many secrets from him, kept him in the dark, but this will be the end of that. Finally, my eyes rest on two trees, just far enough apart to burry Peeta between. They stand all alone in a clearing, but surrounding that clearing are the biggest, strongest trees I've ever seen. The spaces between the trees are just wide enough on all sides that the sun seeps through, highlighting that one patch between the trees. It's a natural beauty, an elegant place so protected, and yet so closed off from the world. It's like heaven, or at least how heaven should be. I walk up to the trees, leaving the other three alone. A soft breeze blows through, almost magical in the way it moves through the leaves, causing them to rustle, creating natural music that hollers over every other sound.
"Over here, guys!" I call. "It's the perfect place!" As the others make their way over to me, I look around once more. A perfect place for a perfect person, a place so full of life for a person so lively. I fight back the sudden urge to cry, because a place like this can't be soiled by tears.
"Woah…" says Finnick as he enters, and I turn to him, a sad smile on my face.
"It's perfect for him, isn't it?" I say, and he gives a sad, yet at the same time happy look.
"Absolutely perfect," he says. We stand in silence for a moment, understanding each other, knowing exactly how the other feels, because we've both lost someone. Annie may not be dead, but she's as good as gone, probably never coming back, even if we send out a rescue party. Gale and Haymitch finally make it, and they, too, look around in wonder.
"Where do we dig?" Gale finally asks, and I silently point to the space in between the two middle trees. Him and Finnick get to work, being careful not to destroy this beautiful place too badly. It's hard to imagine Peeta down there in that hole, deep under the Earth's surface, forever silent. It's hard to believe that he's gone forever, that he's never going to kiss me, or hold me when I have nightmares, or tell me that he loves me ever again. Haymitch rests his hand on my shoulder gently, but doesn't say anything. It's that silent gesture of understanding, that one moment of conclusion that sets off the tears. I turn to face him and burry my face in his shirt, letting the tears come, probably staining his already stained shirt with new stains. But he doesn't say anything, and I know he understands, because he loved Peeta too, no matter how little he showed it.
"Come on," he finally says, gently pulling me away from this place. "Let's go get lunch." And I let him pull me away, my mentor, my lifeline, the one piece I have left of the days when it was just the three of us, all working together to stay alive, to stay whole. I let him take me away off that awful place so full of longing, and hurt, and regret, that place so full of beauty it's painful, because it just makes everything more real, more conclusive. I feel myself being gently placed on a bench, and can smell the food placed in front of me, but I don't see it. My tears are too thick to see through, and they seem to be coming out in a relentless stream, just another sign of my ending happiness. All the left over tears from all the other times I've cried, they're coming out now, bringing with them the truth. I can't live without Peeta. I was stupid to even think that I could, because without him I'm nothing. I'm only half of myself, and half is not enough. I don't know how long I sit there, and no one comes to get me. They just leave me there to be swallowed by my own grief. After a while, I don't know how long, the tears finally stop falling, and I fall into a fitful sleep, drained of any energy I had.
"Katniss. Katniss, wake up." My eyes open to see Gale, gently shaking my shoulder to wake me. I blink once, twice, trying to clear my head. I sit up, my neck sore and cramped from the odd angle I was sleeping.
"What?" I mutter, stretching.
"You have to get up, Katniss, and get ready. We're burying Peeta in a few minutes," Gale says, a small grin on his face. I jump to my feet.
"What? Why didn't anyone tell me? I can't get ready that fast!" I say loudly, already on my way to run to my room, but Gale grabs my arm.
"Katniss, slow down!" he says. "You have plenty of time. They would never start without you." I sigh in relief and them smile at my stupidity. Of course they wouldn't start without me. Gale takes my hand and gently leads me along to my room.
"What should I wear?" I say, anxious. "I don't have anything nice to wear…" I'm starting to worry again. "Oh no, Gale!" He laughs, actually laughs at me. I hit him on the shoulder, hard, and he winces slightly.
"Don't worry, Katniss. Your mom has an outfit all planned for you. She's in the bathroom," he says, nodding towards the bathroom door. I enter the bathroom to find my mom waiting for me, wearing a dress herself.
"Oh! There you are, Katniss," she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards her. She holds up a sunset orange dress. Wondering how she knows the symbolism behind this color, I slowly slide off my clothes and put on the dress. Now that it's on, I see that it goes down a little past my knees, and is strapless. Next, she lays out a pair of soft orange ballet flats for me to wear. I slip them on, feeling slightly exposed wearing them. They're so unlike my hunting boots, with feel so protected, and yet, they're comfortable, fitting for an occasion like this one. Lastly, she undoes my braid, leaving my hair down in soft waves. She slips a butterfly clip in it, holding up some of my bangs. I recognize the clip from one of the pieces my mom had from her days as a merchant's daughter, from the days before she fell in love with my father. I look at myself in the mirror, so unlike myself, and yet, it is me, like the long lost, hidden part of me. I smile slightly and turn to my mom.
"It's beautiful," I say. "How did you know? How did you know that this was his favorite color?"
"You talk in your sleep, Katniss," she says with a small smile. "Now let's go. People are waitng!" We walk out into the bedroom, where Gale is on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. When he sees me, he gets up and walks over to me in a hurry.
"Wow… Katniss, you look, amazing," he says, and then smiles. "You look nothing like yourself." I smile, too, and take his hand.
"Thank you," I say. "Let's go." We make our way to the hatch and then outside to the burial sight. A huge crowd of people, possibly the whole underground, stands among the trees, leaving the space in between the two middle trees bare. I quietly come stand in front of them, next to Haymitch and everyone else I love. Prim comes and takes my hand, squeezing it with her own, and I see she has tears in her eyes. Gale stands on my other side, taking my other hand. Haymitch is clearly drunk, but I'm not really mad. Somehow it just doesn't seem like it's Haymitch if he's not drunk, and I'm sure Peeta would agree if he were here, if it wasn't him we were here to bury. The sunset is shining through the trees, a wonderful shade of soft orange, Peeta's favorite color. It's silent for a moment, no one moving, and then four men from the underground come through the trees, carrying Peeta's body on a plank of wood. They lay him down next to the hole Gale and Finnick dug earlier, and I stiffen slightly.
"If anyone would like to say a few words, now would be the time," one of the men says. "I'm about to say something, but Haymitch beats me to it. He stumbles up to the front of the crowd, and turns to face us.
"I would like to say a few things about this boy," he says, and then clears his throat. "No, this man. Peeta was a lot of things. He was kind, caring, loving. He always seemed to get on my nerves, but I couldn't help but forgive him just as often. He was a good kid, and he didn't deserve this. I hope he's happy wherever he is now." Haymitch goes back to his spot among the crowd. It wasn't professional, or even well thought out, but it was perfect, beautiful in its own way. I take a step, ready to say my words, but again I'm beaten to it. This time it's Prim who steps up to face us all.
"I didn't know Peeta that well," she says. "And I regret that very much. But I did see what he did for my sister during the games, and even after. For that, I'm very grateful. He was a wonderful person, and had so much life ahead of him. He had so many talents, too. He could move a crowd with his words, paint beautiful masterpieces, ice the most wonderful cakes. He was easy to get along with, and tried to help out whenever he could. So, thank you, Peeta, for all that you've done on this planet, and I hope you're safe and happy." She comes to stand next to me again. Then, surprisingly, Gale steps forward. He clears his throat awkwardly and then takes a deep breath.
"Peeta… Well, Peeta was a good guy. Like Prim said, he did help Katniss, in way I never can. He understood her, the games part of her, and for that I'll always be grateful," he says. He comes back to my other side as I finally step forward, but looks anywhere except at me. His speech wasn't long or amazing, but it said everything that needed to be said, and I was touched he even said anything at all. I turn to face the crowd, a mix of emotions, all combining together to form one big emotion, and emotion that feels so sad and broken it nearly breaks my heart all over again. I take a deep breath and shift my wait from one foot to the other.
"Peeta was an amazing person," I begin, my voice threatening to break. I swallow back the sore ache in my throat that comes with sadness. "He was so good and wonderful, and he most definitely didn't deserve to die like this. And there was so much he never knew. Like how much I love him, and miss him, and I wish so badly that he could be here with us now. But he's not, he's dead, and it's all because of the Capital. That's why we need to fight them, so that no more lives are lost! We need to end this pain and suffering once and for all! I am your mockingjay, and I'll fight until the end, because Peeta died fighting for something important, something worth fighting for. And I won't sit around and let them take everyone I love! I'll never let them break us." My words hang in the silence. No one moves, no one does anything. I turn now to Peeta, to address him. "I love you, Peeta, I always have. I'm so sorry I never realized it before." And then I make my way back to my spot between Gale and Prim. Slowly, people begin to move again. No one else steps forward, and so the four men pick up Peeta again, and bring him to the edge of the hole. Silent tears run down my cheeks. This is the end, my last goodbye, and I shout it through my mind. Goodbye Peeta! I love you, I won't ever forget you! I'll see you again someday, I promise! Suddenly, Peeta sits up on the plank of wood, breathing heavy like he'd just been strangled half to death. His eyes are wide, his face white. Time slows to almost a stop. I hear gasps sound throughout the crowd. Haymitch looks down to his bottle of vodka in disbelief, no doubt thinking it's the cause of this strange allusion. I must be imagining this, I must be. Then, time unfreezes. The men drop the plank of wood, and Peeta hits the ground hard, tumbling into the hole. There's a soft thump and I step forward slowly, cautiously. This must be a trick, this can't be real. I peer over the edge of the hole, and see Peeta sitting there, eyes still wide, looking up at me.
"Katniss?" he says, and a smile covers my face, my eyes filling with tears of joy. It's him, it's really him! And he's alive! I let down my hand, and he grabs onto it. I pull him up, finding strength in my new found happiness. As soon as he's up I bring him into a hug.
"You're alive!" I say, the joyful tears still running down my cheeks. I squeeze him so hard it must hurt, but he doesn't complain. He squeezes back just as hard, and I don't think he'll let go anytime soon. "Oh, I've missed you so much!"
"Katniss," he says again, like his life depends on it, like I have to really be here. Finally, I pull away and stare into those beautiful blue eyes I love so much.
"You were dead," I say. "Your heart wasn't beating." He smiles slightly.
"No, not dead. Snow injected something into me, something that causes the body to literally freeze. That's why my heart wasn't beating. He thought it would be fun to let my die of suffocation deep down in some hole somewhere, murdered by the love of my life. Of course, you wouldn't have known, so I would never have blamed you. I have to ask, why did you wait so long to burry me?" he says. Haymitch steps forward.
"The reason for that, Peeta, is because Katniss here couldn't stand to let you go, even if you were dead," he says, smiling. "Guess I didn't need the vodka after all." Peeta frowns slightly at him, and smiles. He looks around in amazement.
"All of this was for me?" he asks. I nod. Glae steps forward, too.
"Katniss picked it out for you," Gale says with a smirk.
"She wanted it to be perfect," says Finnick. "She missed you a lot. You should have seen how much she cried this afternoon. Like, six hours straight." Peeta turns to me, clearly amused.
"Oh?" he inquires, raising an eyebrow and smirking at me."And, you're even wearing a dress!" I blush madly and then turn to Gale and Haymitch and Finnick angrily.
"Oh, shut up!" I say. Peeta takes my chin and turns my face to look at him.
"They're just joking," he says. "Besides, I think it was really sweet of you, and it's my opinion that matters most to you, isn't it?" I hate that he's right.
"Oh, you shut up, too," I say, and then I kiss him.