A/N Hello! I know that the idea is bittersweet and judging by the reviews a few of you are actually worried about what I'm going to do this time to our favorite ladies.

Don't worry, I promise a happy ending even if the road is a little bit bumpy and complicated so please, don't kill me during the story because I promise that this is going to go somewhere ;)

Learning

16.-"It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

The voice is clipped; a yawn breaking the sentence in half and at the other side of the line Regina can't do anything else but smile as Emma grunts and tries to sound as awake as the brunette knows she isn't.

She doesn't really knows why she had decided to call the blonde in the middle of the night asking her to just tell her about what's on your mind, she also doesn't understands why the blonde complies quickly and without asking why. Words about clouds that are cotton candy and rivers that are full of licorice soon fills the brunette's mind, the raspy, yet soft, voice of Emma echoing through the line as smoothly as the younger woman is able to. And whereas Regina knows that being in the middle of her dark living room letting Emma tell her silly thing after silly thing is not exactly normal she only smiles and laughs a little every time the blonde yawns and forgets what she was going to say.

Regina knows that they could actually talk about why she is calling Emma, why she has her left hand over her chest where her heart stills beats erratically because Daniel has appeared on her dreams once again and she has actually awaken herself finding her body between the suffocating arms of Robin. She knows that she could actually answers the question Emma is thinking but is too polite (or too sleepy) to even try to ask, she knows that she should stop crying and just start understand what's happening, why she has grabbed the phone first thing after detangling herself from Robin and, walking as silently as possible, had go down the stairs, seated on the first surface she had found and had decided to call the blonde just because, she knows she shouldn't be doing this, she shouldn't be feeling like she does because it's shelfish and sad and wrong and it's actually stupid to just want to talk with a woman that is obviously confused and still trying to find herself. But she needs it and maybe that's where the problem lays, that she needs it and she doesn't understand why.

Robin should be there with her, she should actually start thinking about telling him about Daniel, about curses that were made because a promise she made to herself back when she still thought that fairies could help and magic wasn't as dangerous as it is. But she keeps forgetting telling him that, keeps telling herself that isn't that important, that her past is her past and the only thing she needs to focus herself is in her future. But yet there she is, talking to a woman who doesn't understand why she is doing this and yet…

And the moonlight is dim and Regina's heart has started to beat slower, calmer, and Emma's voice is barely a mumble now and Regina's own eyelids starts to feel heavy and maybe, just maybe, is easier to just let herself go just for one night. Even if it's a couple of hours that no one would ever witness. Just one night, just maybe…

17.-"Watch your step."

The words make Emma sigh as she squints her eyes and tries to see something on the dark, wet sand of Storybrooke's beach. Her feet are aching and her whole body is freezing so when the brunette repeats the sentence she almost wants to snort and close her eyes. It's been a few weeks now since Hook decided to leave and whereas she still doesn't understand what she should be feeling she has learn to hate being near the decks, the feeling of emptiness threating to overcome her.

She even thinks she can distinguish guilt and something close to relief while she looks at the distant horizon but she isn't exactly sure anymore. She doesn't know why she should be feeling relieved; they told her about how she had admitted the man how much she love him, how much she had even cried after the man had died on that alternative realm the ex-author created just for himself. She doesn't exactly know why everything she is able to think is "finally". It' doesn't really matter though because she is trying to grab some kind of rare shell to start her potion classes with Regina. And well, is not exactly easy to understand why the brunette keeps trying to help Emma with her magic now that she is slowly getting it back but Emma is grateful because of it, because the effort, the kindness Regina is even showing her by doing so.

There is some kind of ironic feeling every time Emma hears the people of Storybrooke whispering about how she is slowly getting better, how her eyes seems to be brighter, more normal. It hurts and it makes her want to laugh all the same because the citizens are only seeing what they want to see and Emma has long ago discovered she probably would never be like she once was. And it's ok, mostly, because she isn't sure exactly how she was before the magic, before the dagger. She can see it as blurrily every time she tries to think about it, a little like seeing a reflection on a river's waters and well, is something almost impossible and just too hard to even think about fighting for it.

And heck, the shells and the sea and her discomfort aren't important as long as she regains what little of herself she is able to so when Regina points at something glinting near the waves she just nods and walks there, her lips parting in a smile the brunette doesn't returns but acknowledges by nodding quickly. And well, the fact she is still trying to not fall down her knees as another wave hits the sand very near of the two of them can be seen as ridiculous but at least she is starting to feel alive, normal. And that alone is something she really needs.

She knows that the fact she is standing next to the brunette when said woman told her how she wouldn't be with her that night is also something she really needs to ask and question but she is still feeling afraid, afraid that if she asks about it Regina would only move away from her and just close the door they are slowly pushing aside. The midnight call, the tears she heard, the lump on her own throat aren't important right now, even if it's selfish and poor and weak, even if it's a mistake, a stupid idea, she won't ask about it.

Maybe later she decides as she grabs the shell and moves forward, water and sand hitting her skin and making her cringe as she hears a soft snort coming from Regina's direction.

Maybe later.

18.-"Here, drink this. You'll feel better."

The alcohol burns her tongue the same way Regina feels her tears starting to build up behind her eyes so she drinks the drink and closes her eyes while trying not to think about understanding and empathy and just a bunch of words that feel more like curses themselves than anything else.

The dinner's counter is cold against her hands and that's what she tries to focus on while Emma keeps sipping her own drink, her eyes burning Regina's arm so strong that the brunette merely sighs and looks at her, remembering the times the blonde would show up on her office and hand at her a concoction she would call food and a root beer or two just because.

She is starting to miss those days and maybe that's the root of the problem after all because even if her sister has already prove her wrong once such a thing like time travel isn't easy or even safe.

Not like she should want to go back after all, she has Robin, Roland, Henry. Even the respect of that little town, a town who had spit on her as many times as she hurt them back in a time and a place in where she was the Evil Queen. Not like she is that person anymore, not like she wants herself to be that.

She is just too tired and too fed up and just wants to sleep and pretend to not have had a discussion with Robin, a talk in which the man had asked her to go with him to go to see Zelena.

And is kind of silly to feel weak and betrayed and at the same time deeply conflicted so she is thanking inwardly Emma's way to make her feel better because drinking and talking is always better than cursing and magic. Not like she would tell that because Emma is slowly getting better and well, she is missing the obnoxious blonde even if she would never tell the woman that.

And maybe is because of that she had explained what Robin had asked her as quickly as she can, hating the fact that she feels weak and stupid at the same time. So she just drinks and sighs while Emma looks at her while muttering things under her breath and promising her that she is going to shove her hand up the man's ass and maybe Regina shouldn't feel relieved or happy or even smirk about it but she does because she needs to hear that she isn't the selfish one there.

Even if, in a way, she still is.

19.-"Can I hold your hand?"

Regina's words are soft murmurs thatalmost escapes Emma's ears and in another kind of situation the blonde would even pretend to blush and look away but she doesn't do that because the brunette is trying too hard and Emma is already ready to turn and leave the place with her in tow. And so Emma lifts her hand and waits since she can't really say anything else because she had hated hospitals since Henry was born and being in front of the door of Zelena's cell is just like ten time worse. And Regina has precisely told her once and again that she doesn't need to be there, that she doesn't want the woman to bother but Emma can't leave the brunette alone in something she really doesn't understand why Regina is doing it.

Because yes, Zelena is Regina's sister and she is kinda carrying Robin's child with a glee that would make anyone sane enough to feel a little bit nauseated but Emma still doesn't understand why Regina, the woman who had literally decided to give Robin his own happy ending when everything seemed to be different, to actually be there in a reunion that is both disgusting and strange in a way that Emma can't truly describe.

And maybe that's precisely why Regina merely nods and takes the blonde's hand with a strong and vicious grip that makes Emma bits her bottom lip as she feels the woman's trembling body against her arm. A different set of feelings flashing over her pupils as her sister looks at her, already showing and smiling and winking to a strangely looking Robin who barely says anything when the red-head torments Regina all over again.

And well, Emma could actually say something but she doesn't know what to say so she just holds Regina's hand and waits and shuts even after the crazy woman in front of her insults her and tries to tease her because she is there for Regina and for no one else, not for Robin who looks placidly speechless as Regina tries to hide her shame and definitely not for Zelena. And Emma knows that, despite everything, Regina loves Zelena much more that what she will ever be ready to admit.

And it sucks because family is something that you can't truly decide, not the blood related one at least, and Regina's deep fear is to be alone, alone with her thoughts, with herself, and well, Zelena is a reminded of that and Emma doesn't know what to say, how to react.

So she just swallows and looks at Robin while trying to make him talk and rage already bubbling inside of her, rage that disappears quickly when Regina shakes her head once and then twice before putting her hard exterior back on and leaves the padded cell with Zelena's cackling echoing behind.

And she is strong, Regina, not Zelena, and Emma sees that with blind clarity.

And maybe is because of that that neither her or Regina let go each other's hand until they are finally out of the hospital, Robin behind of them and traces of tears threating to appear on Regina's consumed gaze.

And Emma knows that she supposedly can't feel anything else but rage and hate and power but that looks makes her want to hug the older woman and promise her something she can't really promise anymore. And it hurts in a way that she doesn't exactly understand why but takes her breath away.

20.-"You can borrow mine."

If Regina would know any better she would told Emma that that won't be necessary, that she already has her own car, that the blonde's offer is something strange and maybe not the kind of thing she should so freely say while shrugging in the middle of their daily classes.

And maybe she also should just ask Emma to go with her because "maybe I need you" is still true and hanging between the two of them but she can't really bring herself to ask that just in case the answer is a negative one.

So she swallows her response and tries to look away, their conversation ringing on her ears, the off-handed comment about her need to go out Storybrooke for a few days silly and stupid now that the blonde is actually offering her car to her.

And she knows that's stupid, that she never leaves a place because that's admitting defeat and she has been raised to not fail ever but she is already reaching a limit she didn't know she possessed. And maybe is because of Robin and the way the man is pushing her about Zelena or the rainy odor that now seems to follow her even when he is not around. Or the guilty feeling she gets every time she thinks about what things were when he wasn't around there. Or the fact that she is craving to go away and never look back.

And she knows that she will be back because Storybrooke is her home in more ways than once but for now she needs those stolen moments for herself. To actually find a place for her, a place in which people won't know who she is, what she has done, what kind of responsibilities, nightmares and loneliness she has.

And is stupid, childish, but she is drowning and just can't anymore.

"Come with me"