~Four~
"I appreciate your arranging for me to travel here, given the restrictions imposed on active Clan leaders, even ones like me."
Misashi gazed out of the window of Genryuusai's office at the setting sun, pressing his lips together thoughtfully as he surveyed the peaceful landscape of District One spreading out beneath its amber glow. "The Endou and the Yamamoto have not always been on the same side, so I'm doubly grateful for your negotiating on my behalf. Whilst I could have sent someone else, I felt that it was most important for me to tackle the issue in person."
"I agree with you, and that's why I helped bring you here," Genryuusai settled his aging frame behind his desk. "Did you want to speak to Hirata tonight, or will tomorrow do? He may well already be aware of your presence, but..."
"I wonder," Misashi twitched his fingers together absently, pondering. "The truth is, Genryuusai-sama, I'm worried about my son. I've been worried about him since Eiraki disappeared, but more so as he approaches graduation. I'm afraid that, without school to hold him, he might dart off on errands of his own devising."
"You mean, he might go after Aizen and his sister on his own?" Genryuusai was nothing if not perceptive, and Misashi nodded.
"Yes, something like that," he agreed heavily. "Don't mistake me - I have faith in his ability, and I know he's already a fine shinigami. It's just..."
"Mm," Genryuusai allowed the sentence to go unfinished, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "Yes, I see your concerns. I know the boy very well, now, and I sense it there, too. It's in his aura - the unsettled feeling of something unfinished."
"He won't talk to me about Eiraki," Misashi turned from the window, letting out a heavy sigh. "They were so close, and I know he feels betrayed - but it's deeper than that. I know that he encountered her, here in District One, before she escaped. He won't discuss it with me, though. I only know what I do from the reports filtered through the Council. In fact, it was only from Kinnya-sama's deposition to Guren-sama that I realised my children had spoken to one another at all."
Genryuusai was silent for a moment, running his gaze pensively over his guest. Misashi had never been a very substantial man, his heavy brown and red robes hiding a lean, if not overtly muscular frame, and it would be easy to mistake the Endou Clan leader for skinny and weak. Genryuusai privately thought this was one of the reasons that the man had survived as long as he had. He had never raised a zanpakutou, but Genryuusai's spiritual wits were powerful enough to pick up the threads of a voice Misashi had never clearly heard - a hunting owl with its talons bared, ready to strike its prey into eternal darkness with one fatal sweep. His pale blue eyes held a silvery sharpness and intelligence that spoke of a man with limitless focus and drive for the things he believed in, whilst his features barely concealed the genetic Endou hardness of jaw and brow that gave him the faint air of the predator.
His thick dark hair was bound back from his face in the customary silver clasp, his robe gathered with the crest of the Endou, and Genryuusai noted that all of the Clan's conventions were neatly observed for all to see. Glancing at him, Genryuusai saw the image of a picture perfect Clansman, sober and responsible, with not a hair out of place. Despite this apparent calm, however, the old man felt sure that he did not know even half of the things running through his companion's mind. Privately, he thought that most of the Endou Clan perceived even less. Yes, Misashi might not be a physical fighter, and his sword had not been permitted him, but that did not mean he was not a considerably powerful man, and Genryuusai felt suddenly grateful that this man was Hirata's father, for he was certain no other could hold the Endou together until his young student reached his full maturity. More, that with his rationality and strategising, Misashi was far better an ally for the boy than any kind of enemy. Though the Endou had a reputation for killing their own kin, Genryuusai knew very well that Misashi's love for his son outranked any obligation to the rest of his Clan. It also meant that he was observant to any change or fluctuation in the boy's spirit.
Genryuusai knew better than most how volatile Hirata's emotions were, and from Misashi's remarks, he realised that the boy's father understood them as well. They had never spoken of it before, not even when Misashi first sent Hirata to the Academy to learn to be a killer, but now there was very little standing between the young Endou and his Clan, and even less time in which to ensure Hirata's future actions were guided by conscience and restraint. In this conversation, then, he could and would be frank.
He spread wizened hands in a gesture of agreement.
"Hirata missed an opportunity to take down his prey, and it nags at him," he said softly. "Kinnya reported as much to me before he left for District Six. He came upon Hirata in the moments after Eiraki escaped, and at that time the boy was too upset to guard his words. There was a confrontation between him and Aizen Keitarou, and Hirata intended to kill Keitarou. Eiraki appeared and made him hesitate. In that hesitation, Keitarou disappeared. Those are the facts as I know them - but Hirata has barely spoken a word to me about it, either. Perhaps his friends know more, but I don't intend to pry through his confidences to find out."
"Hirata couldn't kill his sister," Misashi mused. "I'm unsurprised by that. Whatever became of Seimaru, that kind of kin-slaying isn't in his nature."
"As a hunter, though, to let your prey escape is a hard lesson," Genryuusai said evenly. "Hirata had the best chance he will probably ever get to kill that man, and he missed it. I don't know if it matters or not. It certainly wasn't his duty to slay Keitarou, nor can I blame him for not succeeding. Hirata won't see that, though. If he wants to go after Keitarou, it's because the hunting bird really has awoken inside of him. He wants to fly, talons outstretched, to bring down his enemies."
"Yes," Misashi's eyes darkened. "When that sword is in his hand, that is the person my son becomes. It worries me...whether he will control it, or it will control him."
"That's part of the reason for our plan of action, isn't it?" Genryuusai smiled, his moustache bristling at the movement. "Misashi-dono, you are his father and you love him dearly, but even you aren't able to reach and influence his actions from this point on. I, as his teacher, might also fail. There is only one who might have a different effect - the one who has doubtless taught Hirata that a different perspective exists. Your son is compassionate and kind. He doesn't shy from death, and blood doesn't deter him, because his sword is a killer...but Hirata himself is not. Five years in the company of one person has made that distinction possible...Hirata has seen his weakness and can tackle it head on to prevent it overwhelming him."
"Five years is short, though," Misashi responded. "Your idea is far more reassuring. Hirata can't take Seventh Squad while the embargo remains in place, and I want it to remain. There are still a good six or seven years of interdict to work off, and if, in those seven years..."
"That's my hope, too," Genryuusai rumbled. "Tomorrow, I will put it to the boys themselves. Hirata cannot hold shinigami office because of his Clan's interdict, but tying him to District Seven with a particular duty is probably the only way to prevent him roaming after Keitarou and Eiraki. We both agree that this would be detrimental in managing his sword?"
"We do." Misashi offered a faint smile. "I only have my son left, Genryuusai-sama. You understand, I trust, how important it is to me to keep him alive and well?"
"As a father, no. I haven't that experience," Genryuusai said regretfully. "But as mentor and guide for so many young souls, yes. Every one of them is precious to me, Misashi-dono, Hirata among them. I lost one young life this year, and it was one life too many...from that perspective, I understand."
He eyed his companion pensively.
"Shall I send a message, then, for Hirata? It strikes me that he might as well know what's going to happen before we discuss it further tomorrow?"
"All right," Misashi looked startled. "Although we could call them both, and then...?"
"No...I will give Juushirou tonight," Genryuusai's eyes flitted to the window and the setting sun. "An urgent herald came from Fourth earlier today, and I seem to be losing one of my pupils earlier than expected. It is unfortunate since time is so short, but at the very least, I will give Juushirou his chance to say goodbye to a close friend. I can't guarantee if or when they'll meet again, so I'll give him tonight."
"I see," Misashi's features softened. "If things are that way..."
"In the meantime, I'll ask for Hirata," Genryuusai got to his feet, moving towards the door in search of a stray junior student. "There are only three days left till graduation, and everything becomes very busy."
"I'm sorry. I feel we're imposing our problems on you at such a crazy time," Misashi apologised, and Genryuusai shook his head.
"On the contrary, your Clan's dilemma presented me with a solution to one of mine," he said frankly. "I now know what to do with my star District student, and for that I'm grateful. It's a challenge I'm certain he won't turn down...not when he understands the full implications of the task ahead of him."
"It will be dangerous," Misashi pointed out, and Genryuusai nodded.
"Yes, it will," he agreed calmly. "It's that exact reason that tells me he'll accept it."
"What?"
Sora's disbelieving exclamation broke the silence that had fallen over the girl's bedroom, and, her own woes forgotten, she held her friend at arm's length, staring at her in dismay. "What do you mean, tonight? What about graduation? What's happened? Why?"
"I don't know, exactly, " Mitsuki swallowed hard, tears still coursing down her cheeks. "I don't really understand! Just, Retsu-sama called me, and..."
She hiccuped, and Naoko groaned, burying her head in her hands.
"If that's the case, it must be something serious," she said soberly. "Mitsuki, try and calm down, if you can. Tell us from the start - what did Retsu-sama say to you?"
"Just that I should have my stuff together and be ready to leave by about midnight," Mitsuki choked out. "She said that she was sorry, but I wouldn't be able to s...stay if I really wanted to g...go to Rukongai with F..F..Fourth Division."
"That's a hard ultimatum, though!" Sora said indignantly. "We've all been talking so much about graduating altogether, as a team, and it's only a few days away! Now this summons, as if the Gotei don't care that we probably won't see each other again for months and months, and..."
"Healers don't work to school timetables, Sora," Naoko's words held an edge, and Sora frowned, falling sullenly silent. "I guess whatever it was, Retsu-sama received word and this is the emergency solution. There's no reason for Mi-chan to be at the graduation ceremony. It won't affect her final marks if she isn't. We have to look at it from the perspective of her future division, not from ours. The Gotei are dealing with life and death. They can't wait around for us to clap each other on the back and say well done."
"I suppose not," Sora admitted reluctantly, "but still, how much warning is that? And you haven't even recruited yet...they want to send you off right away?"
"Something happened in the Real World," Mitsuki said slowly, her voice still wavery, but her tears brought somewhat under control by Naoko's common sense interjection. "I think...an earthquake, or a volcano, or something like that. A lot of...a lot of souls are scattered about Seireitei, and some of the squads have been sent out to...reap them back to Rukongai."
"What has that to do with you, though?" Sora asked plaintively. "You're going to Rukongai too, not the Real World. Right?"
"Mm," Mitsuki nodded, wiping her eyes. "But usually, when one of these big events happens, there's a backlash. The...the number of souls in Rukongai goes up rapidly and the in...influx of spiritual energy causes mu...mutations. Some of the souls are already displaced and disorientated. It d...doesn't take long for them to become Hollow. Besides..."
She closed her eyes briefly, then raised a sad gaze to her companion.
"All those lost, scattered souls need help," she whispered. "Resources in Rukongai are poor, people are suffering. There's fighting already over what little exists over the divide. We can go there, take supplies, medicines, help those who have nobody else to look out for them. Three or four Fourth Division scouts have already been deployed in the vicinity and they sent urgently for back-up. Seireitei still doesn't fully acknowledge that we have a duty to the souls we bring across. Only Retsu-sama has been involved in anything like this."
She let out her breath in a shaky sigh.
"If I go to Rukongai, it will be hard, but I will be able to prove myself without any need for Clan influence," she added. "In Fourth District, that would be much harder. I'm a stranger there. In Rukongai, it's different. That's why I agreed...and I still...I still want to go. Retsu-sama says that the Gate will be opened from Fourth District at half past two in the morning. She intends on connecting the school Gate to Fourth at about midnight, so we can get there and I can be briefed by my squad leader before we head to the other side."
"Not till midnight?" Naoko asked sharply. "In a time of crisis, why so long?"
"The Gate to Rukongai won't be authorised till two at the earliest," Mitsuki said bleakly. "The Gate is meant to be opened as little as possible, because of the risk of pollution and contamination, so it takes time to get clearance and then, once done, it won't be opened again for a considerable amount of time to come. It won't take long to get back to Fourth, so Retsu-sama said I could...have a little time here. She said...it was important for me to say all the goodbyes I needed to say, since sometimes it's a v...very final word. Rukongai isn't a place to take regrets, she said."
"So you're here to say goodbye to us?" Sora looked distressed, and Mitsuki nodded.
"I suppose I am," she whispered. "You, Nao-chan...both of you have been such good friends to me from the start and I'm going to miss you horribly. More than I can bear to begin with, probably. I'd set my mind to leaving, but not...this has shaken me up and I'm not ready to break my bonds with people like this. I thought it would be after graduation...but this way I won't even...can't even speak to my Father."
"Juushirou!" Sora pulled back suddenly, getting to her feet. "Mitsuki, what about Juushirou? You're not going to leave without telling him, are you?"
"Saying goodbye would hurt," Mitsuki murmured, and Sora grimaced, shaking her head.
"No. No, you just said that Rukongai wasn't a place for regrets," she said firmly, reaching down to haul her reluctant companion to her feet. "It hurts to say goodbye - when you've gone, I know I'll cry and I'm sure Nao will, as well. We'll cry on graduation day, when you're not here, and we'll cry after that too, I bet, when we think of things we'd like to tell you or share with you. We'll do all of that and it will hurt, but we've heard from your own lips what's happening and why. We might hate it - well, I hate it - but we know and we understand. You've not left regrets with us, Mi-chan - you can't leave them with Juushirou either."
"But..."
"Sora is right, Mitsuki," Naoko's intervention surprised both girls, who turned to look at her in astonishment.
"Naoko?" Sora was the first to recover her voice. "I thought you disapproved of Mi-chan's crush on Juu?"
"It's not for me to approve or otherwise," Naoko's smiled sadly. "Ukitake-kun is someone Mitsuki is close to. He would be very upset if she vanished without telling him."
"I guess I do know that," Mitsuki admitted, looking ashamed. "I just...he's the only person who might be able to talk me out of going. I know he said he wouldn't, but that was then, before it actually happened. Now it's on us like this, and you know, Juushirou is the one person who..."
"You have your dreams, your hopes, your ambitions, as he has his," Naoko said succinctly. "If he is worthy of you, Mi-chan, he'll understand and let you go. You don't have to sacrifice the things you believe in for the sake of any man - Clansman or District. You don't have to sacrifice those aims for anyone - and I'm sure, if Ukitake-kun is who you believe he is, he knows that."
"Which means we ought to go find him," Sora clasped her healing friend by the hand, giving her a little tug towards the door. "Nao, you check around the annexe...Mi-chan and I will hunt around the grounds. We've only got a few hours in which to settle everything - so the sooner we begin, the better!"
"The sun's starting to set."
Enishi tapped his sword against the fencing of the furthermost training ground, casting his companion a quizzical look. "Do you want to call it a day, Ukitake, or are you still game for one more bout? It's unusual for you to voluntarily spar with me - I don't want to leave you covered in bruises for graduation."
"I think I can take one more beating, if you don't mind," Juushirou shot his friend an amused smile, tightening his grip on his asauchi and nodding his head. "I appreciate you humouring me like this, too, Enishi. With graduation on the horizon and so many things uncertain beyond that, I needed to let off steam."
"Well, I never refuse a sword spar, you know that," Enishi grinned, adjusting his own sword hold and readying his pose for a second charge into battle. "I was just surprised it was me you asked, that's all. You haven't taken my blade from me once since we began here - and even if we're friends, I don't really plan on changing that today."
"It's all right," Juushirou assured him. "If I was able to beat everyone, I'd probably lose my drive to improve. Besides, you always fight fair, even if you are stronger. I figure, even if my body's a lot more fragile than yours, I can still learn things from working with you."
"Fine praise," Enishi said warmly. "I suppose it's a fair trade, given how much I owe my passing Kidou grade to your efforts, too. Goodness knows how close to the pass mark I scraped, but it's over and behind me now, thank goodness!"
"Do you know what you're doing, yet, after graduation?" Juushirou tapped his sword against his hand, then, at a nod from his friend he darted forward, blade extended towards the Yamamoto's broad upper body. Enishi parried the swing neatly, moving nimbly despite his size to turn the defensive swing into a probing attack that forced Juushirou to take a hop back towards the far fence. "Nothing's been put up on the board yet where you're concerned, so I wondered if you'd had any news."
"Mm, sort of," Enishi pressed his lips together, hesitating for a brief moment and Juushirou saw his opportunity, lunging towards his friend and bringing the blunt-bladed asauchi down in a slicing movement across the taller boy's left shoulder. Despite his momentary distraction, however, Enishi's reaction was lightning sharp, and the clang of sword on sword rung out across the school grounds as, in the dimming light, the Yamamoto launched his own attack, blade centred on Juushirou's midsection.
Once, Juushirou would've felt the tip of the blade brush against his clothing, marking a 'hit' and a point for his companion, but he had worked long and hard on his reactions and so Enishi's weapon swept through air, the younger student already slipping into shunpo to renew his attack from a fresh angle.
"I thought shunpo was against the rules!" Enishi objected good-naturedly, swinging his balance around to face the new assault, and neatly pushing Juushirou's sword away.
"Uh-huh. Kidou is, but nobody said anything about flash-stepping out of danger," Juushirou replied unrepentantly, an identical grin on his own features. "I thought it'd make life more interesting, if we could...hey!" as Enishi's broad form disappeared, re-emerging with a faint shift of air at Juushirou's left shoulder. The glittering asauchi came down towards Juushirou's shoulder blade, and with a curse, the white-haired boy dropped to the ground, rolling over to avoid the weapon's edge.
"Your call, not mine!" Enishi exclaimed cheerfully, tossing his weapon from right to left hand and the back to right before driving forward once more. Juushirou scrambled to his knees, hurriedly bringing his weapon up to parry Enishi's attack, but the other boy was too fast for him, and, with a quick, decisive slash of his blade, the Yamamoto knocked Juushirou's weapon from his grip, pressing the blunted tip of the asauchi up against the younger boy's pale throat.
"I give," Juushirou held up a hand in surrender, and Enishi stepped back, eying his friend pensively. "It doesn't matter what techniques I use, you still have one over on me."
"I've been training longer, that's all," Enishi hauled his companion upright, patting him warmly on the shoulder. "You are better than you were when we first came here. Most of the time, I'd put money on you to win a fight with attacks like that. Just, this is my speciality, I guess. I can't let you beat me, not even in a friendly spar. It's the one thing I know how to do right, so I have to keep that in mind and protect it. Otherwise I might as well be useless, when it comes to hitting the front line."
"You said you'd heard something?" Juushirou dusted his uniform down, eying the stains to the blue fabric with a resigned sigh. "Something from your Clan?"
"Sort of," Enishi agreed, pursing his lips. "In truth, I'm not sure what to do about it. It's a bit embarrassing, really. Makes me wish that I hadn't created such a fuss back in the Real World, actually."
"The Real World?" Juushirou sheathed his weapon, staring at his friend blankly. "When did you make a fuss?"
"Slashing up Onoe like I did...kinda made an impression on people," Enishi ran his fingers through his cropped hair, and Juushirou noticed the agitation in the gesture. "Don't get me wrong, Ukitake, I don't regret pulling Kuchiki out of that situation. I mean, he's my friend, and all of that - of course I'd react that way. Why else? But it's got a lot more attention than I expected. I was just helping a friend - but the Clans seem to want to make it more than that."
"Ryuu is important to the Kuchiki. At the time, even more so," Juushirou pointed out. "It's hardly surprising that you'd be recognised for saving him. You were brave and swift, Enishi. You shouldn't be embarrassed if people praise you for that."
"Yeah, but that's just it," Enishi dropped back against the fence. "I'm not really much for the whole Clan plaudit scene. I'm far more used to being the butt of jokes, if you know what I mean. All in good humour, of course," as Juushirou raised an eyebrow, "don't get me wrong. People are fine with me, and I don't have any axes with anyone else back home. Just, my family never expected a lot from me. Sending me here was the last resort - since they weren't ever going to marry me to anyone, I'm far too socially clumsy to make a good match. I'm a younger son, and I've no real prospects hanging around there, so I came here - well, you know that, right?"
"You're good at being a shinigami, though," Juushirou said sensibly. "They ought to recognise that."
"They do. They have," Enishi looked troubled. "Ukitake, there's a certain amount of pressure on Akira and I both, now we're graduating. Akira could've been the Vice Captain of the Eleventh - but he turned it down, because he wanted to be in First with his direct kin. They've accepted that choice, and he'll join with them after the ceremony is done. Finishing third isn't as good as he wanted, but it's good enough to prove he'll be useful to Hashihiko-sama on the front line."
"Yes, I heard about that," Juushirou agreed. "I don't really understand his feeling that way, but if that's what he wants, it's all right, isn't it?"
"Sort of," Enishi sheathed his own sword, pulling the scabbard from his belt and tossing it into the rack of weapons that stood beside the training ground gate. "It leaves me in an even more odd position, though."
"Oh!" Juushirou's eyes widened as he realised the meaning in his friend's words. "You mean, Akira's gone so now they're looking to you for the Vice Captaincy?"
"Mm. Something like it," Enishi grimaced, glancing at his hands. "I had a letter from Father this morning, confirming that discussions were taking place. It only requires my agreement and it'll be official. There's apparently no obstacle to my appointment."
"Congratulations!" Juushirou's eyes shone, and he grasped his friend's thick paws in his, shaking them warmly. "That's amazing news...and a chance for you to do what you love without anyone bringing you down! You've proven to your Clan that you're worth more than they thought, and you'll make them all eat their words. Eleventh Division are lucky to be having you - you'll be an awesome Vice Captain!"
"Yeah...maybe," Enishi chewed on his lip, and Juushirou's brow twitched in confusion.
"Enishi?"
"I'm considering turning it down," Enishi admitted, and Juushirou stared at him, his grip loosening on his companion's fingers.
"Turning it...but why? Enishi, this is exactly the kind of role you're made for!" he protested. "You're good with the younger ones, you're reliable, and look at how you supported and rescued Ryuu in the Real World! You're a natural as a shinigami and a born leader! Why would you want to turn it down?"
"You don't know the Captain of the Eleventh, do you?" Enishi asked, and Juushirou shook his head.
"I know nothing about any of them," he admitted shamefacedly. "It's a Clan thing - I've not had the chance to learn much about the divisions not directly connected to the Council."
"Minachi Atsushi," Enishi said frankly. "A cousin of my father's - first cousin, actually. They grew up fairly close together - Father is a few years older, but they used to do a lot of training and so on. Father didn't follow the active shinigami life - he had an accident that affected his vision when he was still training, and although he can see to get by, he's not as perceptive as he used to be. His reiatsu detection is like mine, so without sharp vision he was a liability in service. He chose not to put his comrades in danger. Instead, he works in Hashihiko-sama's cabinet of advisors. He and Atsushi-dono remained in contact, though. I've known the man my whole life - ever since I was a tot."
"What's wrong with that?" Juushirou was confused, leading the way towards the ground gates and the school building proper. "I would've thought that makes things easier, if the Captain is a friend of the family?"
Enishi did not reply to begin with, then he shrugged.
"Atsushi-dono is a powerful shinigami, and Hashihiko-sama thinks a lot of him," he said slowly. "He's got a good combat record, and is reliable in the field. He's very demanding, and runs a tight squad. Discipline is a way of life, and well, he's done a good job of leading the new Eleventh to date. His previous Vice Captain was killed in action, and so he wants a replacement that will slot easily and comfortably into his division with the minimum of fuss. Apparently none of his existing ranking members fit the bill."
"Even more reason to select someone he knows, surely?"
"You'd think," Enishi agreed, "but I don't know. The idea gives me chills, if I'm honest, Ukitake."
He glanced at his hands, stretching his thick fingers, then clenching them into fists.
"As a boy, he was always picking out my flaws," he admitted awkwardly. "Too heavy-footed when I moved, too clumsy, too easy to track. No ability with spiritual awareness, a complete failure in all regards. When Father wanted to send me to the Academy, he laughed. He said there was no way that even Genryuusai-sensei would make a useful lump of flesh out of me - his words, almost exactly. He's always been negative towards me. I can't imagine he's chosen me of his own free will. More likely he needs someone, and Akira was his choice. Since Akira's turned him down, there's me. I'm certain if I accept it..."
He trailed off, and Juushirou sighed, taking his friend by the arm and leading him slowly away from the school building.
"He's a bully, in fact?" he asked softly, and Enishi shrugged.
"He's a captain and a commander," he said helplessly. "Is there a difference, once in uniform? He'd be my superior - what would you do? Would you accept, if the alternative was not getting a placement anywhere? There's no room in First for me, not with Akira going there, and if I don't accept the Eleventh Vice Captaincy, my whole training will be a waste of time. Father will be disappointed in me - again - and my family will have to field another bevy of criticisms and jokes at my expense. That's how it always is, and I don't want that. I want Father to be able to talk about me with pride, for once. Just...if I accept...I don't know. Divisions are meant to be about trust, aren't they? I can't imagine trusting Atsushi-dono, and I know he won't trust me."
"He's an idiot, then," Juushirou said bluntly. "If I was a Captain, I'd have you as my Vice Captain in a heartbeat, and I'd damn well appreciate every skill you had in the process. If he can't see that, then he's a fool and he doesn't deserve to wear a haori.He hasn't seen how hard you've worked and how much you've put into your time here. We all have - Sensei has, too. I'm sure, if you talked to him, he'd help straighten things out for you. He knows what you're capable of...he wouldn't want you forced into something because there's no other choice."
"Thanks, Ukitake," Enishi offered him a smile. "At least I have you on my side."
"For what it's worth," Juushirou dismissed this ruefully, shrugging his shoulders. "Right now, I'm as lost as you are. I don't know where my future lies, either, and time is ticking away far too quickly towards graduation."
"Tell me about it," Enishi groaned. "At the start of the year, I thought being put up to Senior was an honour - but now I'm wishing there was another twelve months left."
"I think we all wish that, a little bit," Juushirou gazed up at the old school building. "We've all made some very special memories here, and leaving them behind is going to be hard for everyone."
"Juushirou!" Sora's shrill cry across the school grounds prevented Enishi from making any response, and both boys turned to see the young Shiba hurrying across the grass towards them, a breathless Mitsuki in tow. One glance at the healer's pale features told Juushirou that Mitsuki had been crying, and his heart skipped a beat as he registered the look of consternation on Sora's own face.
"What's up?" he demanded, taking a step or two towards them, then faltering. "What's happened, Sora? Mitsuki, why are you crying? What's wrong?"
"We've been looking all over for you!" It was Sora who answered, shooting Juushirou a reproachful look. "Nobody knew where you'd headed out to - and on a night like this, too! Don't you realise time is of the essence? Coming out and sparring when it's practically dark - what kind of idiot does that at a time like this?"
"A time like this? A time like what?" Enishi glanced between the two girls, his expression one of bewilderment. "What's eating you, Sora? Ukitake's been with me for a good hour or two - if anyone's been sending out memos, neither of us received them."
"The messenger...from Fourth," Mitsuki spoke now, her words broken and gasping, and Juushirou knew it was not just the dash across the grass that had caused the catch in her voice. "Juushirou...Retsu-sama has had a message from Rukongai. She's sending extra people there as soon as possible. If I...if I'm to go with them, it means l...leaving here. Tonight."
"Tonight?" Juushirou's eyes widened with horror, colour draining from his pale features, and Mitsuki nodded, biting her lip as if to prevent another flood of tears.
"I have no choice," she whispered. "If I don't go then, I won't go at all. Juushirou, I have to...you understand, don't you?"
"She came to say goodbye," Sora's words were sober, and she reached across to squeeze the other girl's hand reassuringly. "She's said it to Nao and I, but she hasn't had a chance to...with you. We...there isn't a lot of time. Retsu-sama wants her for midnight, to leave here, and we have to get all her stuff packed and together before then. There's not much chance to talk, but..."
She trailed off, and Juushirou swallowed hard, his vocal chords momentarily frozen. He stared at Mitsuki in dismay, and Mitsuki nodded her head again.
"Sora and Naoko said that if I didn't come say goodbye to you properly, I'd regret it," she murmured. "I didn't want to, because I didn't want to see you make that face, Juushirou-kun...but they're right. If I ran away, I'd regret it. We both would. I...I don't know what might happen after I go to Rukongai, or when I'll get to come back. At least...at least I w...want to know I said a proper goodbye."
"Houjou, we should go inside," Sora cast the tall boy a glance, and he frowned, nodding his head.
"I'm coming," he agreed, his expression uncharacteristically perceptive as he glanced between Mitsuki and Juushirou. "I'm sorry to see you go, Edogawa. You'll be missed - but best of luck."
"Thank you, Houjou-kun." Mitsuki's response was barely more than a breath on the wind, and her eyes did not leave Juushirou's face. Enishi met Sora's gaze, and the other girl shrugged.
"We'll go inside," she repeated. "Mi-chan, when you're ready to pack, Nao and I will be waiting in our room. We'll help, so take your time, all right? Make sure you say everything you need to...don't leave anything behind."
With that she was gone, leading Enishi across the grass towards the old Yamamoto Clan building, and for a moment silence prevailed, neither Juushirou nor Mitsuki knowing quite how to begin speaking.
"So soon?" At length, Juushirou uttered the words, and Mitsuki nodded miserably.
"An earthquake or something in the Real World means things have changed," she agreed, twisting her hands together absently. "I'm sorry, Juushirou-kun. I wanted...at least, I wanted us to graduate together. I hoped...but now..."
She swallowed, as tears began to trickle down her cheeks once more, and impulsively Juushirou reached for her hand, pulling her towards him and wrapping his arms protectively around her slender frame.
"I don't want you to go," he murmured, his words trembling. "More than anything I want to make you stay here, but I can't, can I?"
"You could," Mitsuki pulled back from his embrace, raising clouded grey eyes to his troubled hazel ones. "Of everyone, Juushirou-kun, you're probably the only one who...who could stop me."
For the first time, Juushirou registered with a pang, his friend's beautiful eyes reminded him of rain clouds, ready to let forth a fresh storm of tears, and something in the realisation made emotion well up in his own eyes. Frustrated, he blinked the sensation back.
"No, I'm not," he shook his head. "Even if I said it, even if you agreed...you wouldn't really be here with me, would you? I can't promise you anything. I can't offer you a better future or carry your dreams for you. I can't do the things you can do - the things you need to do, in order to achieve your goals. If I kept you here, it wouldn't be in spirit. You'd always be wondering 'what if?'"
"Mm, maybe," Mitsuki swallowed, letting out her breath in a sigh. "It's true...if I stay here, I don't know what kind of a future I have ahead of me. Fourth District is not as hostile or as judgemental as Sixth when it comes to infiltrating the Clan, but there's no reason for them to trust me if I'm not willing to go out in the field and prove myself. More, there are people in pain, there. Rukongai is dangerous. We both know that it's an unknown threat that even Sensei wouldn't let us go near. I don't know whether...there's a chance I might not come back. But..."
"Don't you dare say that!" Anger and fear flooded Juushirou's body, and he grasped her by the shoulders, giving her a short, sharp shake. "Don't say things like that before me, or I really won't be able to let you go! I know what you want to do, and I accept that - but don't make it hurt worse than it has to by making it seem like I'll never see you again!"
"Juushirou..." There was no checking Mitsuki's tears now, and she buried her head in his shoulder, concealing those heavy grey eyes from his view. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean...this is why I didn't want to say goodbye to you. I knew I'd hurt you, and I didn't want..."
"No, you needed to come," Juushirou stroked his companion's hair almost automatically, trying to soothe her pain whilst his own heart spasmed fit to burst within his chest. "I'm sorry, too. I expected to have longer to deal with this, and now..."
"We all thought that," Mitsuki's voice was muffled against the fabric of his dusty hakamashita. "The Gotei doesn't wait for ceremony or school formality, though. We're needed and so we're sent. It's the first step into the real world for all of us, Juushirou. It will come for you, too. This is how it will be."
She raised her face to his, her eyes still swimming with tears yet her lips were set in a resolute expression, determination lurking beneath her grief.
"I love you," she said softly. "I will always love you, I think. I said once before that you were my soul mate and I believe that's true. Whether we're friends, or lovers, far apart or close together, we're still tied. If anything happened to you, even as far away as Rukongai, I'm sure I'd know. We're tied, somehow. You...you've been the catalyst for me, stepping forward to do what needs to be done instead of hiding behind my Clan and choosing a safe, neutered life. I'm grateful for that, more than I can ever repay you."
"Your repayment is to leave me," Juushirou said bitterly, and Mitsuki nodded.
"It is," she agreed guiltily. "Can you forgive me for it, all the same?"
"I was never blaming you for it," Juushirou extended a pale finger to wipe away her fresh tears. "I understand. We both have goals and aims. Life isn't life unless you're pursuing those. We talked about it before, and nothing has changed now. You have to follow your path and I have to follow mine."
He swallowed, knowing that his own tears would not be held back for long.
"Promise me, though, that you will come back," he said hoarsely, cupping her chin in his hands. "Whatever happens, promise me that."
"I don't know if I can - or how long I might be away," Mitsuki protested, and Juushirou shrugged.
"However long it is, I'll wait," he said firmly. "I'll wait forever, if need be, so long as I have your assurance. Promise me, Mitsuki. Whatever happens in Rukongai - even if you meet another healer and fall in love with him, still promise me. Promise me that we'll meet again."
Despite herself Mitsuki smiled, reaching up to tweak the ends of her companion's lank white hair.
"I promise, then," she said sincerely, "so long as you promise me to take care of yourself in my absence. I won't be there to feed you healing remedies, not for a long time. Promise you'll remember that and look after yourself. If I'm to come back to Seireitei, I expect to find you in one piece."
"I promise," Juushirou agreed. "I will be there. I'm not going to die that easily. I decided when Shikiki healed my heart that I was going to live a long life. I'll keep my word, so long as you keep yours."
"It's a deal, then," Mitsuki's words were so faint, Juushirou almost didn't hear them. "We should seal it...in a way neither one of us will easily forget."
Standing up on her tiptoes, she touched her lips gently to his, and at the sudden, unexpected contact, Juushirou's own instincts flared into life, his arms tightening their hold around her body as their kiss deepened. At length they separated, and from the dampness of his own cheeks, Juushirou knew that, unbidden, his tears had begun to silently fall.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you cry," Mitsuki looked guilty, brushing her hand against his cheek. Juushirou pushed her fingers back gently, shaking his head.
"I would've cried worse if you'd gone without telling me," he said unevenly. "It's all right, Mitsuki. I'll...I'll let you go. It might break my heart, and it might break yours - but it's the right thing to do. I'll hold on to the promise, and...we'll meet again. If I can believe in that, then, somehow, I'll get by. We both will."
"We both will," Mitsuki echoed faintly, then, with fumbling fingers, she unclasped something from about her throat, reaching up to attach it around Juushirou's.
"Mitsuki?" Juushirou's hand went to his neck in surprise, and Mitsuki smiled, shaking her head.
"You're a Kuchiki at heart," she said, her voice rich with emotion. "I won't be one, any more, when I go to Rukongai. Take care of this for me, all right? When we meet again, you can give it back - in the meantime, look after Ryuu and Shirogane-senpai for me. You care for them both, so I know you will - and Kinnya-sama too, of course."
"I'll try," Juushirou's fingers closed briefly around the Kuchiki pendant, then he slipped it beneath the folds of his hakamashita, nodding his head. "I will."
Mitsuki nodded.
"I need to go pack my things," she said quietly, "and I still need to say farewell to Ryuu before I go. When I leave, Juushirou, I don't want anyone to come see me off. It will be too hard...I want to just go with Retsu-sama and be done. That way I can turn my mind to what needs to be done when Yuuyugo and I get there. You understand, don't you? When I go, it needs to be alone."
"I don't like it, but I understand," Juushirou sighed heavily, his heart aching in his chest. "You're not a child any more - neither of us are. We're adults making adult decisions, and...and if that's how you feel, I'll respect it."
"I knew you would," Mitsuki kissed him lightly on the cheek once more, before extricating herself gently from his embrace. "I'm sorry that we part in tears, Juushirou-kun, but...one thing I want you to know for sure. I'm not sorry that I touched you enough to make you feel so strongly about me. You...are the strongest thing in my heart right now, and the reason I'll do my best to heal and help the people who cross my path. Having you believe in me...having you love me...is enough strength for a thousand healers. Your heart is stronger than anyone's I know, and your soul is too. I'll try and be as strong as you are, when I'm out there in the world on my own."
With that she was gone, running across the grass before he could call her back, and Juushirou stared after her, his breath knotting up inside his chest and his heart aching with each pump of blood it pushed around his shattered body.
Slowly he sank to the ground, allowing the tears to overwhelm him now he was alone. Unashamed and uninhibited, he cried for the friend he had lost and the love he had never been able to fully establish.
Love alone isn't enough, not when dealing with Clan and with ambition.
At length the storm passed, and he wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his muddy hakamashita, not caring whether he smeared dirt over his cheeks.
Your belief in me matters to me too, Mitsuki-chan. If there was a way to come with you, I'd come...but there's no place for someone like me in Rukongai. Just as you couldn't achieve your dreams at my side, I...I can't achieve mine if I'm at yours. Fate has a cruel way of dealing it's hand, sometimes.
Reluctantly he pulled himself to his feet, trudging across the grass towards the imposing shadow of the school building which was all but concealed now in the gloom of the evening. His companions would probably be gathered in the Senior study, now, he realised, but he had no desire to join them. He wanted to be as far away from their cheerful, easy company as possible, to grieve for Mitsuki's departure in peace.
Shunsui will come looking for me. I'd better lock the Nest door, else I'll never get any peace.
As he mounted the stairs towards the annexe, he fingered the loose key tucked into his obi with a sigh.
Who'd have thought having my own room would have a purpose, after all. Even though I know he'd just want to be supportive, right now, there's nothing he or anyone can say to help. I need to heal this wound myself...and come to terms with it my own way. Mitsuki's going to do what she believes in, and I support her. No amount of talking or crying over it will change that, nor will it keep her here.
He put a hand to his chest, taking a calming breath of air into his battered lungs.
Even the worst attack of haibyou couldn't hurt as much as this. I knew losing her would be hard, but that it would be like this...
He sank back against the panel wall of the corridor, letting out a heavy sigh.
I suppose this is what being in love really feels like, then. Whatever Mitsuki and I have called it this long, this is what it really is. I need her more than I thought I did - it's all very well saying that I'll work it through and get past it, but right now, feeling like this...can I?
"Juu...?"
Shunsui's voice from the end of the hall made him start, turning guiltily to meet his friend's gaze, and Shunsui's eyes clouded with comprehension. He made no attempt to come closer, however, and secretly Juushirou was grateful for his classmate's restraint.
"You've heard?" somehow he managed to form words, and Shunsui nodded.
"Enishi told me," he said gravely. "He said you were with...you were outside, but I felt your reiatsu as you came back in. Are you...all right?"
"No," Juushirou said honestly, rubbing his brow wearily with a grimy hand. "I'm not, Shunsui. I'm not okay. I'm sorry, but there's nothing right now you can say or do to change that."
"I wasn't going to try to," Shunsui said soberly. "I've been where you are, Juu - I understand what it feels like."
"I suppose you do," Juushirou acknowledged. "I was going to the Nest. I don't really want any company...I have...I have to work this through myself, if I can. Tonight...I'm sorry, but I don't want any company. Not even...if it's you."
"All right," Shunsui inclined his head slightly. "Just, don't forget we're here, if you do want us. All right? You can have your space - you can have all the time you like, but Juu, you're not alone, all right? When you feel you want to talk, we'll be waiting."
With that he was gone, turning on his heel and disappearing back down the steps towards the study, and Juushirou felt a flood of relief and gratitude overwhelm his body.
Thank you, Shunsui, for understanding how I feel.
Pulling the key from his obi, he unlocked the door to the Nest, letting himself inside and fastening the lock behind him. Pulling off his dirty clothing, he grabbed up his nightrobe, wrapping it around his body as though somehow by doing so he could shake off the empty, hollow feeling that had begun to spread through every part of him.
With a sigh, he flopped down on the bed, tears still pricking at his eyes. Beneath the rough fabric of his clothing, the cool sensation of the pendant against his skin offered scant comfort, but he wrapped his hand around it anyway, clutching it to him as though by doing so he could keep a hold of her for just a little longer. Mitsuki's reiatsu still flickered faintly against the metal surface, a reminder of how close to her heart it had originally hung, and he tightened his hold, remembering how she had looked the last time they had met gazes.
There were tears in your eyes, still, but also, hope. Relief. Gratitude. Love. Belief and resolve for the future. I have to find those same emotions, and move forward. You'll be with me, won't you, Mitsuki? Even though we're separated, we're going forward together. You to achieve your dreams and me...me, somehow, to achieve mine.
Author's Note: Sayounara, Mitsuki
Yes, that's Mitsuki's final appearance in Meifu's Gate. It's a sad farewell for both of them, a love blighted by position and ambition. Sadly, she's the first member of Team Stupid that we have to say a fond farewell to...her deployment to Rukongai is of some considerable duration ;) Thank you to everyone who supported her and especially everyone who supported her and Juushirou in their little game of first love.