She allowed herself to feel the thrill that brought having a child of her own. She was having a family! Stars above, it may have not been the right time or in a conventional way, but she was happy. It was all she wanted as a kid and now she had it. She felt happy.

Even if the grief of leaving her friends was still raw.

She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't a decision easily made, it hadn't been done in whim of hers. If she had been selfish she could have gone away from the Resistance long time ago, she could have left the island when Luke rejected her or even after Starkiller.

If others ever found out why she left and judged her for it then so be it. Let the history remember her as the one who ran with the enemy. Rey had no regrets.

She packed the last of her things before going to the hangar. The Jedi texts, the broken lightsaber, her staff and two changes of clothes. She didn't have much, mostly because she didn't feel she needed more. Rey was used to have just enough to live.

Her child wouldn't. She would make sure to spoil them, to never know hunger, cold or loneliness.

She wouldn't allow it.

As if agreeing, a twinge of pain stabbed her middle. Rey smiled, running a hand through her still flat abdomen. She felt the smallest flicker of light there and an immense joy invaded her.

She threw the backpack over her shoulder and left her room, passing in front of the other crew's quarters in her way to the hangar. There were no people in sight, but Rey was cautious anyway.

As she opened the hatch of the Falcon, Rey thought of her first time getting on the ship, a lifetime ago. It was hard to believe that she was the same woman. She sighed as she got in.

Rey didn't look back.

.

Maz was waiting for her in the landing platform of her castle. The petite woman would house her until Ben arrived to the planet, in exchange of…well, Rey wasn't sure of the deal he had done with Maz, but whatever it was, and it probably was a big thing. You simply did not house a runaway Jedi for free, Rey thought.

The woman was also waiting for her with open arms and no judgment.

''The Force knows you are not the first woman to fall for a pair of pretty eyes, and if gets that stupid boy away from the Order it's probably for the best.''

Rey was grateful for her words, though didn't voice it, she just nodded. For some reason, it seemed strange that Maz didn't ask anything else. The old Pirate Queen was giving her space, she realized.

She was given in the castle, but she did not unpack her things. It was a very basic room, with only the necessary, and it was like a painful reminder of the room she had back at the base. She stayed there for four days, meditating or going through the Jedi texts-stars knew how many times she had done it-. She wouldn't go out, just opening the door for Maz.

In day number five, convinced that she would go insane if she spent one more day in there alone, Rey went down and offered her help for anything she may need. She wasn't used to sit and do nothing all day.

Maz accepted graciously, handing her a rag and pointing at the dirty glasses from the cantina's kitchen. And thus, Rey was put to work. She was glad to have something else to do, other than sulking alone in bed.

The forcebond had been quiet for days when she started worrying. She would help serving the tables and arranging the rooms to distract herself from the fact that she had not had any news from Ben in two weeks.

If Maz had any contact with him, she didn't say. Rey assumed that she would tell her if anything happened. She was still uneasy, but it's not like she could force their connection to open.

By the ending of week three, Rey had a rather impressive bump in her middle. It was only when she started feeling sudden movements that she finally opened up to Maz.

''Do you know much about pregnancy?'' she asked bluntly. She wasn't one for subtleties.

Maz raised what probably was a hairless eyebrow.

''Took ya' long enough, didn't it? I was wondering if you'd finally tell me once you went into labor''

Rey looked away.

''I won't be here when I go into labor'' she offered weakly.

Maz was not impressed.

''Well, if you had talked to me before, you'd know that I will be the one delivering the baby.'' Rey's eyes widened. ''Girl, that boy may be stupid, but he's not that stupid. You think he would have you running from bounty hunters when you're about to burst?'' She stayed silent at that. ''Didn't think so either.''

''Is that why I'm here?''

The petite woman shook her head.

''No, but it's definitely a plus. He knows that I have a bit of experience in the children matter.''

It was Rey turn to raise an eyebrow.

''I've been alive for many years, and made plenty of mistakes. My kids weren't one of them though.''

Rey's hands went to her swollen belly to caress it slightly, it was becoming an unconscious gesture.

''Do you know where he is?'' She was way more worried than she was willing to admit.

Maz shook her head.

''I talked to him twice, when he asked me to help you both-first time I talked to him in almost twenty years, mind you-, and when I told him that you arrived safely. After that his end of the link went dead.''

Rey swallowed thickly, and Maz gave her a look.

''Look, I wouldn't worry much for him. Kiddo, can take care of himself. Getting out of the Order is not the same as sneaking away of a Resistance base, no offence.'' She pointed at her belly. ''And he has two very good reasons to get away from them as fast as he can.''

Rey smiled at that.

''Besides, I get the feeling that if anything went wrong, you would know.''

''I would.''

.

One day, when Rey was reaching her last trimester, Ben appeared.

It had started much like any other day. Rey was tending to the people at the cantina, her hair wrapped with a handkerchief-trying to blend in-, when a man entered the castle. She felt a rush of emotion that was not hers, for the first time in months.

She turned her head at the door, where Ben was looking at her.