A/N: Many thanks to everyone's who's been reading and reviewing. You guys are the best. :)
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Chapter 3
Rin opened her eyes slowly, slitting them shut against the unwelcome light.
Her mouth was dry, and her head was pounding. She let out a small groan of pain, unable to help herself.
'My lady,' came the distressed voice of Hitomi. 'Do not move too much, it will make the pain worse.'
She tried to nod, but it hurt too much, so she settled for croaking out a 'yes'.
'Am I sick?' she rasped out of a dry throat. 'Why do I feel so awful?'
'It was that sake you had, my lady,' Hitomi said disapprovingly. 'Your first taste was nine cups.'
'But I am here as a part of Lord Sesshomaru's court,' she protested. 'If I did not observe the tradition, it would have been an insult, both to him, and to our hosts.'
The older woman's eyes softened, and she laid a cool hand on her brow. 'You'll feel better soon, my lady,' she said softly. 'I shall see if I can find anything that would help.' So saying, she turned and entered her own room, rummaging around in the contents of her cupboard.
It was at this time that Lord Sesshomaru entered.
'My lord!' Rin struggled to sit up, holding a hand to her head as the pounding in her temples increased.
He waved her back, and with a grateful sigh, she collapsed against the pillows again.
'Last night was your first time drinking sake, was it not?'
She nodded dumbly, mortified at the whole situation. She remembered suddenly how loose her tongue had been the night before, and squirmed in shame.
'I trust then, that you have learnt enough to be careful in the future?' he went on.
'Yes, my lord,' she said in a small voice, feeling ashamed that he should see her like this.
'Then we shall speak no more on it.'
His kindness made her feel worse, however, and she felt her eyes fill with tears.
Thankfully, he did not notice, because at that moment she was saved by Hitomi's entrance. 'Lord Sesshomaru! I did not know you were here,' she said as she bowed to the daiyoukai.
Lord Sesshomaru acknowledged her with a nod, and turned back to face Rin.
'You shall feel better once you bathe,' he said to her as he turned to leave. 'I shall see you in the gardens one hour hence.'
She nodded her assent as he left the room.
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Sesshomaru stood motionless, watching the beauty of the gardens before him.
The weddings had gone off well, and now it was time for them to make their way back home. The obsequiousness of the Mountain Lions and the Leopards wearied him, and he wished to be where he could find peace of mind.
His thoughts were broken off when he caught Rin's scent, mixed with those of the flowers blooming around them.
'You feel better?' he asked without turning around.
'Yes, my lord,' she said quietly, stopping when she was two steps behind him.
She said no more, and for that he was grateful. The youkai here seemed to exist only to talk, they had filled every moment of the past five days with idle chatter. It was soothing, now, to be one with nature in perfect silence.
He was abruptly struck by just how well she knew him.
His eyes slid to the side. She was looking out at the flowers, a faint smile on her face. She looked especially lovely today in her yellow kimono, there was no trace of the pain she had been feeling only an hour earlier.
Unbidden, there came to him the memory of the body beneath the robes, and he released a soft hiss of annoyance as he felt heat spread over his body, and lust slammed into him.
Why was he having these thoughts about her?
She seemed to have sensed the change in his mood, because she turned to face him, eyes full of questions. She opened her mouth, but whatever she saw in his gaze caused her to falter, and she nervously licked her lips.
His whole body tightened, and he felt a wave of disgust wash over him at his own weakness.
He was unable to turn away, however, especially when confusion filled her dilated eyes, and a flush overtook her features.
Suddenly, he understood why she blushed. But then…did she feel the same way he did?
'Lord Sesshomaru?' she finally said breathlessly.
'We leave in the afternoon,' he said curtly, turning away from her.
The sooner he got back to his home, the sooner he could leave these unsettling feelings behind.
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Rin glanced at Lord Sesshomaru from the corner of her eye.
He was looking at her again.
She felt the flush overtake her body, even though she tried her utmost to control it. Her heart began to pound, and she felt a little breathless.
Why did she feel this way, she wondered in alarm, as her fingers shook slightly on the koto.
With an effort, she kept playing, her lord's study filled with music she made. It had been a few days since they had returned to her lord's house, and everything felt strangely different, somehow.
She had thought it to be the lingering effects of the sake, that day in the gardens, the first time she had felt this way in his presence. But now, she was not so sure.
Hitomi had told her it was because she cared for her lord, but this…this strange new sensation seemed too uncontrolled for the simple adoration she had felt for him all her life.
And he too, seemed to be staring at her more and more. She found that to have his gaze on her made her breath quicken and her palms sweat, filling her with an odd exhilaration.
'That will do.'
She stopped in mid stroke, hands motionless on the strings of the koto as she looked up at him, startled by his request.
He seemed to be waiting for her to leave, however, so she stood up, doing her best to hide her confusion.
With a quick bow, she left, able to take a deep breath only after she left his study.
Her skin still tingled as she made her way back to her own room.
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Sesshomaru fairly growled as he watched her leave.
Her fingers sweeping over the strings of the koto had been too much for him, he had been watching her these past few minutes as a predator watched its prey.
To think that he was brought to this condition...
He bared his teeth as a wave of self loathing filled him. He was no stranger to the realities of life, for all that he had never partaken of them. He knew that his attraction to Rin was a purely biological reaction.
Knowing all this, he should have been able to restrain it.
Above all else, he abhorred the loss of control. When he had decided to walk the path of conquest, he had determined to start by first conquering himself. He had long learned that to show emotions too freely was to hand over his weaknesses to his enemies.
It was a matter of personal pride to him that there was not a single one of his impulses that he could not control.
Why was this different?
He was tempted to send her away, but that was tantamount to admitting to an inability to master these feelings, which was unthinkable.
Perhaps if he sought to have her married…it would reinforce his role as her guardian, and get her out from under his roof, all in one stroke.
It would be a brilliant course of action, and one that would have to be taken, sooner or later, and yet…and yet…
He could not now bear the thought of her leaving.
So long had she been his Rin, that now the very thought of a human male touching her body, of making himself intimate with her skin…
His hackles rose as red filled his gaze, and he suppressed his growl with difficulty.
At this involuntary reaction, he blinked, thunderstruck at the idea that had taken root in his mind.
Did he…care about Rin?
He had always sought to be a good guardian to her, to ensure her everything that was in his power to give, never thinking to grant her his affection. But now he realised that over the course of the years that he had known her, she had somehow made herself to be an important part of his life.
Now he found that he was concerned with her wellbeing, with her happiness. She was soothing to his senses, her easy, undemanding companionship was something he looked forward to after a tiring day. He enjoyed engaging her mind with the problems at court, she was more interesting to converse with than Jaken.
He cared for her.
He shook his head, unable to accept it. He could not care about her—she was mortal, her time on this earth was brief. He knew the longevity of his emotions, if he did indeed, care about this girl, she would take a part of his heart with her when she left this world.
Unthinkable, that he would give a human girl so much power over his happiness.
There was only one thing to do.
With a sigh of reluctance, he turned to the open window and took flight.
Sesshomaru found him soon enough, and he watched from the shadows as the two figures embraced.
The man seemed to stiffen as he drew away from the strangely garbed woman, but his fingers were still unhurried and gentle as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. He touched her cheek with a smile, telling her he would follow, and she answered with a smile of her own as she slipped away from him to walk back to the human village nearby.
The hanyou looked after her for a while, and Sesshomaru took the opportunity to drop lightly to the ground behind his half brother.
'She will die,' he said.
'Not today she won't!'
Inu Yasha whirled, bringing up Tetsusiaga. The blade clashed against Tensaiga, and Sesshomaru sprang back.
'I am not here to harm your woman, fool.'
This made the hanyou pause, and he looked at his half brother suspiciously.
'Then why are you here?'
A silence followed, while Sesshomaru tried to put his thoughts into order.
'Why are you with this human when you know she will soon die?'
His half brother blinked at him in silence, and he felt that familiar irritation that was always associated with this particular family member.
He had stopped trying to take the Tetsusiga from Inu Yasha once he had realised that their father had left it to the hanyou not because he was stronger, but because he was weaker than Sesshomaru. Inu Yasha had to keep his demon blood under control, and this had been their father's way of ensuring it.
With this understanding of each other, they had spent nearly three years travelling together in their quest to defeat Naraku, but their relationship had still not improved much.
'I love her,' Inu Yasha replied, as if this was the answer to everything.
As if it was enough to face the years of loneliness that would follow this Kagome's death, for the life span of a hanyou was still longer than that of a human.
He said nothing, only quirking an eyebrow. It was enough to make his half brother sigh, and place his sword back in its sheath. His voice was quiet when he spoke.
'I know she will die soon, and then I'll be alone…but I would rather take what time I have with her now, than regret it for the rest of my life.'
'And is it enough?' The words were torn from Sesshomaru involuntarily, from his inability to comprehend such a thing.
'Is it enough?' the hanyou repeated the question. 'She loves me. She will be the mother of my children. I think it is enough.'
He nodded, sheathing his own sword as he turned to leave. Inu Yasha did not stop him.
Soon Sesshomaru was back in his own lands, walking through the woods that lay just outside the walls of his mansion.
Now he knew.
He did not just care for Rin…he loved her.
To be able to put aside all his prejudices regarding humans, to feel this depth of emotion for another, to be concerned for her happiness…he was in love with her.
He thought about what that would mean—endless wars with the youkai who would think he had succumbed to his father's weakness, leaving his empire open to the taking—and he scoffed mentally. He could handle them.
She will be the mother of my children.
And what about the children? They would be hanyou.
He went on, stride unfaltering.
He could think of no other to be mother to his children. If that would make his children hanyou, so be it.
He had made his decision. He wished for Rin to be the Lady of the Western Lands, he wished her to be his mate.
After all that had happened, it seemed he was destined to follow the path his father and his half brother had taken before him.
He knew that if he wanted it, she would come to him, her obedience to him would not allow otherwise.
Unacceptable. His honour would not permit it.
When she came to him, she would be warm and willing, and when she was in his arms, it would be because she could not bear to be anywhere else.
This, then, was the prize he sought to conquer now : Rin's heart.
He smiled; a slow predatory smile.
He would enjoy making her learn to love him.