AN: It's been ridiculously long. I don't know why I neglected this for such a long time - it's a nicely therapeutic experience. Oh, and before I forget... this story won in the Suspense category of the PJO Fandom Awards! *random act of spazzing* Thanks to the hosts for the nomination. Also, I have a request. Got good truths or dares? Suggest 'em, because I'm going to need the help in the future. Also, to the person who suggested a dare for a certain character and might notice that referenced here... foreshadowing! Anyway. Some minor formatting edits for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, laugh a little, and review!

The Ultimate Truth or Dare Challenge

Nico Gets New Clothes

"Will!"

"No!"

They scrambled to the edge of the pit just in time to see the same bright flash that had taken Clarisse away. Will was… gone.

"Oh my gods," Katie whispered, a hand clamped over her mouth in disbelief. The others could only stare down at the spot where their friend had been.

"Well," Travis said feebly. "Guess it's my turn now."

"Are we really going to keep doing this?" Pollux asked. He sat down on the pristine white ground and sighed. "We've already lost two people, and we're not even halfway through one round. And only one person can survive."

"Maybe there's some kind of escape clause," Connor said hopefully.

Nico snorted derisively. "Dude, you've been watching too many Disney movies. There's no escaping this."

Annabeth sighed, looking back over at the marble table inscribed with the rules of the Challenge. "Nico's right. The rules cover pretty much every loophole. Whoever made them… well, they pretty much covered all the exits."

"And if you can't find one, gods know none of us will be able to," Percy said. "So we just have to keep going."

As if on cue, the now-familiar bright light reappeared over by the table. After Connor pulled Pollux back to his feet, the group trudged back. They tried not to look back at the gaping chasm Will had fallen into, which meant that they didn't see when it slowly, silently, began knitting itself back together until there was no trace of there ever having been a gaping chasm.

"Travis," his brother said, "your turn, right?"

"I wish we were still young enough to switch places," Travis grumbled. "Then I could make you go twice." Ignoring Connor's indignant shove, he told the magical glowing light that he wanted a dare.

"You're crazy," Pollux said sadly as the slip of paper floated down. Travis took on a look of horror as he read his challenge.

The player opposite you must give you a wedgie.

"YES!" Nico yelled. He made a fist-pumping motion and made to move towards Travis.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he protested. "No way! I am not—"

"Five seconds," Annabeth warned tensely.

Travis winced. "Not too hard," he told Nico, who just cackled in reply. He grabbed the back of Travis's shorts, and the son of Hermes scrunched his eyes shut before letting out a very high-pitched, un-manly squeal.

"You," he gasped, tucking his boxers back in again, "are so dead."

"Well, it's not like death would be anything new for me…"

"Shut up, Nico. Connor, go."

The younger son of Hermes smirked and, with a shrug, approached the table. "Truth." Seeing everyone else's surprised faces, he explained, "There is no way I'm, like, eating itching powder or something."

"Didn't you guys do that to Clarisse once?" Annabeth asked.

The paper landed in Connor's outstretched hand as Travis muttered, "Yeah, we did. I was sore for weeks."

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

Connor groaned.

"Whoa," Travis said, looking over his brother's shoulder. "How do they know these things?"

"So… you actually have…?" Pollux asked with an amused smirking.

"Yes. Ms. Eldridge. Third grade. Moving on."

"What did she look like, Connor?" asked Katie, batting her eyelashes sarcastically. "Was she real perrrty?"

"Oh, not as perty as you, Gardner."

Recognizing the warning signs of another epic Stoll-Gardner clash, Percy fake-coughed and quickly interrupted. "Pollux, you're next, right?" He shot the son of Dionysus an imploring look that clearly read go before they start World War III.

"Uh, yeah. I am. Cabin twelve. Right." He paused, considering his options. So far the truths had been pretty embarrassing. On the other hand, he really didn't feel like swallowing water from the Styx or getting a wedgie or (gods forbid) having to sing. "Um, truth?" His decision came out as a question, but the floating light seemed to accept it.

Katie and Connor continued to glare at each other resentfully, but they maintained a tense silence. Pollux took a deep breath as he caught the paper and turned it over slowly in his hand.

What is your last name?

The son of Dionysus shook his head in amazement. "They're evil."

"You know," Annabeth said musingly, "you've never told us anything but your first name…"

Pollux glanced anxiously at the numbers twisting in the light. 7, 6…

"It can't be that bad," Percy reassured him.

He closed his eyes. "Sot."

There was a beat of pregnant silence before Travis snickered. "Sot? You can't be serious."

"Um, I hate to put a damper on this," Connor began, "but what's so funny about Sot?"

Annabeth suppressed a laugh. "The word 'sot' means 'drunk,'" she explained. "So you can see how that would be…"

"Ironic?" Pollux suggested glumly. "Yeah. Can we keep going? Nico, I think it's your turn now."

Said son of Hades stepped forward and tried to contain his smirk. He really shouldn't have been laughing—his last name meant of angels, after all, and that was about as ironic as surnames could get—but he couldn't help but think that Dionysus had been just plain cruel when he had kids with someone named Sot.

Once Pollux had shrunk back to the clump where everyone else was standing, Nico looked back over his shoulder at their grim faces.

"You realize how weird this is, right?" he asked suddenly. "I mean, we're playing deadly truth or dare."

"For some unknown evil person who's probably laughing at us as we torture ourselves," Percy agreed. "Yeah. Extremely weird. What's new?" Annabeth rolled her eyes, but chose not to comment.

"Just checking," Nico muttered. "Dare." He reached out and grabbed his slip of paper, accidentally crumpling it in his hand.

Say the words 'in pink leather' after everything you say for the next round.

His mouth hung open like someone had unhinged his jaw for a few moments. Finally he was able to choke out, "If we get out of this, I am going to personally ensure that whoever's doing this gets sent straight to the Fields of Punishment… in pink leather."

"Will you be in pink leather?" Travis asked as everyone else burst out laughing.

Connor grinned. "Or will they?"

Nico gave them his best death glare. "Them. In pink leather. And if you don't stop talking right now, you might be going down there with them, also in pink leather."

"There are a lot of ways you could use this to your advantage," Annabeth said, although she was trying to repress a grin.

"Yeah. Tons. In pink leather." He paused for a second and then added, "I don't have to say anything, though, right? I can just stay silent. In pink leather."

"Way to ruin it for the rest of us," Connor said sadly. Nico smirked in reply, keeping his lips shut tight.

"So is that it?" Katie asked. "Everyone's gone already."

"No," Percy said as the despised ball of light reappeared above the table. "It's time for round two."

"And… pause," Hephaestus muttered, staring at the now frozen demigods on the screen. He grinned, which was not a lovely image, as the Ultimate Truth or Dare Challenge logo flashed and commercials began to play for the second break.

As of yet, his newest project was going perfectly. He'd gotten Chiron (who had been quite shocked and relieved to discover the true nature of the Challenge) to hold a special assembly so that the campers could see their participating friends. And OS63, the automaton in charge of monitoring godly activity, reported that an astounding ninety three percent of gods in the eternal city were watching the show. All twelve Olympians were included in that number (except for Hephaestus's wife Aphrodite, who was, er, otherwise occupied).

"Thingamabob!" Hephaestus roared. "Get me those ratings! And make it quick!"

In precisely eleven point four seconds the harried automaton who processed HephaestusTV's numbers whirred into the room clutching a device that looked like an iPad.

"My lord," Thingamabob began as he handed the device to Hephaestus, "ratings have increased nearly thirty percent in the last five minutes. At this rate, the program should have approximately—"

"Yes, yes, I know how many we'll have by the next break," the god grumbled impatiently. He scrutinized the machine for an instant. "Go get V75T from the focus group on Truth and Dare Formulation. I need more information on that son of Dionysus, and Hades's kid. And when you're done, go get a pick-me-up in Repairs. You're running slower than usual."

"Yes, my lord. Right away." The automaton hurried out of the room and was almost immediately met by V75T.

"When is he going to remember that you go by Thingamarobert now?" the other automaton asked.

Thingamarobert shook his head in grudging amusement. "When he cuts that infernal beard."

"So, never."

"Precisely." And Thingamarobert shot off to Repairs, where he hoped to find a nice pint or two of hard motor oil.