Chapter 3

Alec stood at the top of the Space Needle, his feet dangling over the edge of the 600 foot drop. Shudders wracked his body, though the trembling had nothing to do with the height or the cold.

What happened to him? He could barely recall the incident with the cop; he could only remember the gun being aimed at Max's head and the policeman's finger dancing on the trigger. All of his inner turmoil had seemed to reach its peak as he'd watched the scene unfold in slow motion. The cop would have pulled that trigger, and Max would have been lost. And without Max, Alec knew that he would have been lost, too.

His control had fled in that small moment. He'd been in so much pain, and all of it seemed to connect to the man holding the gun an inch away from Max's temple. And to the terrifying thought that someone had the power to take her away so easily.

But as he remembered the look on her face after she'd seen what he'd done, Alec wondered if he'd lost her, anyway. She'd been… horrified. There was no other way to describe her expression in that moment. There had been confusion and fear too, but the unbending horror that shone from her eyes had taken precedence over any other emotion. She'd been repulsed. By him.

Thick, heavy emotions pounded relentlessly into him, as harsh and unstoppable as a tsunami. He was so, so afraid. The terror of being insane was so all-consuming and powerful, he felt as if he would be crushed under its weight. He had tried so hard not to be like Ben. He'd suffered through Manticore's rigorous tests and he'd kept a tight reign on himself, examining his actions constantly. But he'd never gotten rid of that fear. It was always there, whispering at the back of his mind.

Only it wasn't a whisper, anymore. Something inside of him had snapped; the neat little Manticore-instilled box around that particular emotion had exploded, and now the fear hit him full force.

How you feeling today? Any strange thoughts or desires? Any confusion about your place in the world? Have you hurt someone unnecessarily? What about teeth, Alec?

He curled his hand into a fist and punched the edge of the Space Needle, causing a hollow, metallic sound to echo through the air. A searing pain shot through his knuckles, which were still bruised and bleeding from his earlier encounter. He paid no heed to the pain as he slammed his fist down again and again.

"You'll hurt yourself doing that."

Her voice cracked through the air like a whip and caused him to jump slightly in surprise. Her sharp intake of breath told him that she wasn't pleased with his seating arrangement, perched precariously on the ledge of the building.

"Little late for that, isn't it?" He asked, surprising even himself with how normal his voice sounded.

Her feet made no sound as she approached him, but he could feel her presence drifting closer, anyway. He didn't turn to look at her, even as she sat beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Let me see."

He finally glanced at her, noticing the concern etched in her dark brown eyes. There was no hint of the disgust that had filled her so completely just hours earlier. He leaned away from her just slightly, but she noticed and shifted closer, not allowing him to escape. "I'm fine, Max."

"No," She replied, some of her old impatience leaking into her voice. "No, you're not. You're not fine, you're not alright, and you need help. So just… let me see your hands, okay?"

She met his gaze challengingly and he stared back, a little surprised at the forcefulness in her tone. But then, why should that surprise him? She was always like this. He suddenly felt annoyed. "You know what? Fine. If it'll shut you up."

He extended his arm and rested his hand in her outstretched fingers. Her grasp was gentle despite her demanding words, and he suppressed a shudder as her hands slid lightly over his. His turbulent emotions calmed somewhat, both her touch and her presence soothing to his tattered nerves. He didn't deserve this treatment after what he'd done. Why was she here?

"Not too bad," She said eventually, her voice soft and her head bent over his knuckles. "You've split them and they'll need to be cleaned up, but no major damage."

He'd realized that already. He wasn't particularly relieved about it, either. "Finished?" He asked, though his voice wasn't near as angry as he'd wanted it to be.

"Not quite," She replied, turning her gaze back to him. Her eyes roved over his face, taking in every haggard detail. "Alec, what's wrong?" She asked finally, her voice thick with anxiety and a hint of desperation.

"I'm…" He wanted to say fine, to get her to walk away and leave him to work this out on his own. But the word refused to form on his lips, and he suddenly found he'd lost all power to continue with his façade. The shaking started again, and he knew she felt it by the way her grip tightened. He also knew that he was dangerously close to a breakdown, and he didn't want her around to see it.

"Get out of here, Max." He said instead, injecting as much ferocity into his voice as he could manage. He scooted away from her and turned his gaze to the city just below him, hoping she would take the hint and just leave.

He suddenly found himself lying flat on his back staring into dark, angry eyes; Max had taken him by surprise yet again and yanked him backwards, away from the edge of the Space Needle. Her hands gripped his shoulders almost painfully and the ends of her hair just brushed his skin as she leaned over him. "No."

He wanted to shake her off, but he didn't particularly want to lose his position. Even in his anguished state, he couldn't help be distracted by how sexy she looked, staring down at him like that. His voice was slightly hoarse as he said, "Max, what the hell are you—,"

"No! I'm not letting you do this again!" She said suddenly, her voice sharp and loud. "I'm not letting you push me away, anymore! Something is bothering you Alec, something is killing you. You're in pain, dammit, and you need to get it out. I don't care if I have to keep you pinned here all night; you are going to talk to me!"

Alec's mouth dropped open slightly, her speech shocking him in more ways than one. For starters, he'd never realized she'd cared so much. But the way she'd talked, it sounded as if it was actually hurting her to see him in pain. He was also surprised at just how very aroused her fervent speech had made him. Her eyes were both angry and deeply concerned, her lips were pulled into a pout, and her hair trailed along her jaw line and fanned out around her face.

As he stared up into her beautiful, passionate face, the latter won out. He leaned up until their faces where inches apart and whispered huskily, "Max."

Their eyes locked for a moment, and quiet electricity ran through their gazes as neither of them did anything but breathe. Then he jerked her more fully on top of him and captured her lips with his, his mouth fraught and angry and desperate. He could feel her surprise as her entire body stiffened in his arms, but he persisted until he felt her give in and melt against him. Her arms wound themselves around his neck and her fingers dived into his hair, pulling on the dark blonde locks almost painfully.

He fluidly flipped them so that he towered over her, and then he broke away from her lips to pepper kisses along her jaw and collarbone. She moaned his name, her eyes dark and hazy and her chest rising and falling erratically with every fevered breath she took. He received a heady burst of lust, enough to drive all thoughts out of his head. He was only capable of focusing on her; the smell of her, the feel of her, the taste of her. Max.

"Alec." This time her speech was more articulated, but still breathy and desire-laced. He brought their lips back together, his hands roving under her thin tank top and pulling at its edge.

"No, Alec." Now her voice was strong and demanding, and finally some part of it reached his hazy brain. He pulled away slightly, his movement stilling as he stared down at her confusedly. She used his surprise to her advantage and reversed their positions again, holding him down but removing herself enough that the contact was no longer sexual. "This won't help you, Alec. I can't let you escape from this," She whispered apologetically, her eyes still dilated and her lips still swollen. "You have to deal with it."

Her meaning took a minute to reach his clouded brain. When it finally did, it was as if a cold bucket of water had been cruelly dumped over his head. He felt all of his earlier fears tumble back on top of him, and the weight was unbearable. A little frantically, he slid his hands under the hem of her shirt and craned his neck, kissing her again. He could tell that part of her wanted to give in by the way her body instinctively relaxed into him, but she struggled out of his hold. "Alec, no."

Realizing that her mind had overcome the desire he invoked in her body, Alec angrily shoved her away. She caught herself easily, not looking at all surprised by his reaction. That incensed him further; he felt so ridiculously stupid, and it didn't help that she seemed to be reading him like an open book.

"Go away!" He hissed, his hands shaking as fury coursed through him.

"No." She said again, which only fueled his anger. How many times had she said that tonight, anyway?

"I don't want you here. I don't need you," He spat at her, feeling a huge sense of relief as he indulged in the anger. It was so much easier to feel angry than to wallow in the terror and hopelessness.

Her face fell a little, but she continued to stare unflinchingly into his eyes. The pressure built up behind his eyeballs as he tried to maintain her gaze, but eventually his gaze flickered away. He was breathing heavily now, both from the fevered kiss and the weight of the burden on his shoulders. The burden that was finally crushing him as effortlessly as Alec crushed an aluminum can.

And then…. he felt nothing. It was strange, really, how suddenly everything vanished. The emotions, the terrible pain, even his surroundings no longer seemed to exist. He was no longer sitting on the Space Needle and he was no longer afraid. Instead, he was surrounded by safe, comforting darkness. It was so thick that his eyes couldn't see through it, but at the same time, it didn't feel oppressive or dangerous.

Did I die? He wondered briefly, but his mind rejected the theory almost as soon as he'd thought of it. No matter how bad his emotional state had been, he couldn't have died because of it. And sure enough, as he lifted his hand to his chest, he could feel his heart pulsing strongly through his t-shirt.

What had happened, then?

Before he had been able to ponder the thought fully, he felt his body start to shake. He fought to control the tremors that stemmed from his shoulders to his arms and torso, but the shudders wouldn't stop. The darkness faded into a dark blue, star-scattered sky, and the metal underneath his back felt harsh and cold. A dull roar filled his ears as all of his worries returned, as well, the block that he'd created on them somehow coming undone.

His vision finally flickered into place, and he saw that Max was above him again, frantically shaking his shoulders. He stared at her, confused. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? He'd been fine there in the darkness. In fact, it had been nice. Quiet. Peaceful. Safe.

The roaring in his ears finally ceased, allowing him to hear Max's panicked voice for the first time. "Alec! Alec, please!"

Why was she so afraid? He wondered vaguely. And why wouldn't she stop shaking him?

His vision dimmed again, although refused to black out entirely as he stared up at her. She really was gorgeous. It was a pity he couldn't ever tell her that; she'd probably just make some comment about thanking Manticore. But really, it was more than that. She was so…. beautiful. Radiant. Special. The one.

"Alec! Can you hear me?"

Alec knew he was going to leave again. Back to whatever place he'd been before. There was no pain in that place, no fears and no worries. But he felt a pang as he realized there was also no Max.

He had to say goodbye. He tried to focus his vision and regain control of his motor functions, and after a few moments of struggling, he succeeded somewhat. "Max," He rasped, his voice rough.

She gasped sharply and for the first time he noticed the tears in her eyes. "Alec," She whispered back in the same tone. "Alec, it will be alright. Just stay with me, okay? Stay right here with me."

She would never understand why he couldn't, and he didn't have time to help her. The darkness was already starting to creep back into his vision, and though he welcomed it, he also begged for it to wait just a moment. He had to tell her something, but he couldn't find the words to describe everything she needed to know. "I…. " He was running out of time, so he closed his eyes and spoke aloud the thought that had lurked dangerously in the back of his mind since the day he'd been assigned to be her breeding partner. "I love you."

Another gasped breath, but Alec was already slipping back into his escape. He struggled against it for a fraction of a second, forcing his arm to move. His fingers found her cheek, wanting to feel the softness of her skin for the first and last time. He realized the skin under his fingers was wet, but he couldn't react. His mind slipped back into the welcoming darkness, and he only vaguely felt his hand fall to the ground.

End of Chapter 3.

A/N: If I was realllllly mean, I could make this the ending. Muahahahaha! But, I'm not, so it isn't. Updates will, however, become a little bit slower, because I've run out of pre-written parts. Thanks again for reading!