You guys are so wonderful with the reviews! Much love to you all.
WillowOn3 – I think the breakup was complicated, with both having an impact on it. I know, I feel bad for Ashley too, she messed up but she is hurting so badly. Thanks for your lovely review
DontMindBnCrazy – lol! The big reveal about the breakup will be in chapters 5 and 6 so not long to wait! I'll post them in the next couple of days
LoveAsh87 – Thanks so much, I thought it was important for Spencer to see Ashley's perspective ergo the conversation she overhears between Ashley and Kyla
noobsgod – Thanks, I thought I'd add a little humour to all the angst, hence the Spencer hiding from Ashley scene
hugbuddy13 – Thank you and we'll see how things go with our girls
sonfan92 – update is here, hope you like it
MrsMusgraceTNG – I agree Spencer so needed to hear that conversation. I can promise some Spashley soon (whether it is in the form of flashback or not I can't say!) Thank you for your kind words!
C-Olive – Thanks, I hope you like chapter 4!
Here is chapter four, the reason for the breakup will be coming to you in chapter 5 and 6 so not long to go now!
What Went Wrong
Chapter Four - No Hope, No Love, No Glory, No Happy Ending
The next week passed very quickly for both Spencer and Ashley. Ashley had a whole catalogue of artists she was preparing to launch and a few up and coming bands she was booking into club nights. Spencer and Seth had been filming a lot and had some amazing material. Spencer often found herself watching footage of Ashley, even after everything it made her happy to see the success Ashley had made of herself.
Spencer couldn't stop thinking about the conversation she had overheard between Ashley and Kyla. She had been so consumed by her own pain and anger that she hadn't really stopped to think that Ashley was hurting too. In some ways it was easier to be the one who got hurt than the one doing the hurting. When you do the hurting you have to carry around the guilt and knowledge that it was you who broke the person you love on top of the heartbreak that comes from the end of a long-term relationship. Spencer was torn, part of her was still hurt and so angry, while the other part of her was starting to actually feel bad for Ashley. It was all so confusing, maybe she was being too hard on Ashley, then again maybe she wasn't. Spencer really felt like her head was going to explode!
She was seated in her office while Seth was off filming some rehearsals. Spencer had her laptop out and was attempting to begin editing together some material to present to her boss at the end of the following week when filming would be completed. She had been at it for a good hour and was getting pretty tired. If she was honest she hadn't accomplished all that much as her thoughts kept turning back to her ex-girlfriend.
Spencer leaned back in her chair and rubbed her eyes before stretching her back. "Well well if it isn't the blonde bombshell herself."
Spencer spun her chair around to see who was behind her. Her face split into a huge grin as she stood up, "Madison! My God it's been so long, you look fantastic!"
Madison smirked, "Hell yeah I look fantastic, as do you Chica! I came to see if you wanted some real talent for your doco?"
Spencer laughed, "Of course, this things would never be complete without the wonderfully talented and extremely hot Madison Duarte!" Madison chuckled and pulled Spencer into a warm hug.
"It's good to see you Spencer, you've been missed in Lala land."
Spencer smiled, "Yeah I missed everyone too."
"And Ashley?"
"Wow you really have no tact at all do you?" Spencer asked looking at Madison in disbelief.
"Nuh, never. So you gonna answer the question?" Madison said looking straight into Spencer's eyes.
Spencer groaned and threw up her hands, "Of course I missed her! Fuck I missed her every single day, but it's not that simple. She broke my heart Madison. She betrayed me in a way I don't think I will ever get over." Tears filled Spencer's eyes and threatened to spill over. Madison pulled the blonde into her arms and held her tight.
"I never said it was simple. All I know is you're both fucking miserable without each other. Ashley has been hating herself for the last two years, you might never get over what happened, but neither will she. There is still love between you so there is hope."
Spencer smiled sadly, "No Madison I don't think there really is any hope. It's all so confusing. I don't think I can ever get past what she did. I could never let myself be vulnerable to her, not after what happened, but I miss her and you're right there is still love there."
Before Madison could respond Seth and Ashley wandered in.
There was an awkward silence for a few moments. Spencer was still playing the conversation she'd had with Madison over in her head, not entirely sure why she had opened up like that to someone she was hardly close to. Finally Seth stepped forward and introduced himself to Madison.
"Hi there, you're Madison Duarte, I'm Seth Mills from MTV. I'm Spencer's cameraman/slave/bitch." Seth broke the tension and the three women laughed.
"Well I always saw Spencer as the slave-driver type, maybe with a whip," Madison teased as she shook hands with Seth. Spencer blushed and slapped Madison on the arm.
"What? You could not be so sweet and innocent without having a dark side," Madison said with her trade mark smirk.
Spencer giggled and nodded, "Yeah ok so maybe you're right, but I will neither confirm nor deny." Madison, Ashley and Seth laughed.
"Why don't we get some footage of the three of you, Spence you can interview these two together. I reckon it'd make awesome footage!" Seth suggested. Spencer smiled and nodded as Ashley and Madison both enthusiastically voiced their approval.
They went down to the rehearsal room, the instruments surrounding the walls making a perfect backdrop. Seth set up two camera's so they could film from two angels simultaneously. Spencer took a seat on an armchair and Madison and Ashley sat themselves down on the sofa next to Spencer's chair.
"Ok lovelies action!" Seth called as he hit record on both cameras (one via remote).
Spencer beamed at the two women and began, "Here with me we have two of my fellow King High alums, CEO of Dirty Mind Records Ashley Davies and the Latina Diva herself, Madison Duarte."
"Hey Carlin! I am in no way a Diva!" Madison cut in.
Ashley burst out laughing, "Oh who are you kidding Mad? You are the biggest diva on the label. Shit you've been a diva since you were five!"
Madison scoffed indignantly and Spencer chuckled, "So you guys have known each other for a long time, everyone's heard the stories. You were friends, then fell out, then started working together, made some kick ass music and became friends again. So what are you guys now?"
"Well I'm her boss and she's my performing monkey!" Ashley joked.
Madison swatted Ashley on the arm and said indignantly, "you would be nothing if it wasn't for me! Nuh in all seriousness, Ash is one of my closest friends. As soon as I heard she was starting her own label I got my ass out of my contract and signed with her. She has a real talent when it comes to music and I trust her judgment in everything I do. I really believe I would have ended up as just another disposable pop singer if it wasn't for Ashley and her beautiful songs. I mean my first single hit number one and stayed there for record time, and that is mostly due to Ashley. Actually Spence that was Dirty Mind, the song she wrote for you."
Everyone in the room froze, waiting for the blonde to explode and start screaming. Instead Spencer smiled demurely and looked over at Ashley, "Yeah she is certainly a talent to be reckoned with and that song still has a place on my Ipod and in my heart." Spencer gazed into Ashley's eyes for a moment, her eyes telling the brunette she was sincere, before continuing, "Well since Dirty Mind you've released heaps of singles and three albums Madison, what the world is dying to know is when are we going to see you on tour again?"
Ever the professional Spencer continued, despite the pounding in her chest and the tears burning the back of her eyes. Only Ashley could read how she was struggling, but knowing how proud Spencer was she was not going to draw attention to it.
"Well we are planning a tour just after my fourth album is released, which will be in a few months or so. The first single off that album will be out soon I hope!" Madison said animatedly.
"Yeah the tour is definitely on the cards and the album is coming along great, Madison's sound has just gotten better and better and we are really excited about the album. Madison and I began working on these songs about a year ago so we are pretty psyched to get them out into the world." Ashley said with an affectionate smile.
The interview continued for the next half an hour or so. The three women fell comfortably into conversation, which included a lot of banter and teasing. Ashley felt happier than she had in a damn long time; it felt amazing to be interacting with Spencer without the tension that had been plaguing them.
As the interview ended, Seth packed up the gear and Spencer smiled warmly at both women. "Well thanks guys, this is going to make some excellent footage for the doco. Mad, it was great to catch up with you," Spencer leaned in and gave Madison a warm hug, "I'd better leave you two to business and I'll go get some more work done. Thanks again." Spencer smiled sweetly again, at Ashley as well as Madison, and left the room.
Madison turned to face the grinning brunette, "So I'm guessing by that shit-eating grin on your face that this was improvement?"
Ashley just smiled.
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Ashley took a mouthful of coffee as she walked towards the rehearsal room next to the recording studio. It was late in the afternoon and most of the staff had headed over to a local club where her latest band would be launching their first single later that night. Ashley thought she'd take the opportunity to work on a few songs she had been writing. She had been feeling oddly inspired since Spencer had been back in her life.
Tonight would be the last bit of shooting for the MTV documentary and Ashley was not looking forward to watching Spencer walk out of her life yet again. It had nearly killed her the first time.
The last month had been intense and confusing. At first Spencer had been clearly angry but in the last two weeks or so she had warmed up a bit and at times was actually friendly. It almost seemed like she would forget that she was supposed to hate Ashley for a while. It was confusing but Ashley wouldn't trade a second of it, having the blonde back in her life was more than she ever thought she'd have. She definitely wasn't ready to let that go.
As she neared the room she heard a piano being played, the sound was beautiful yet haunting. Ashley stepped unseen into room and looked towards the figure seated at the piano. Long, golden hair caught the dying sun making the seated woman look angelic. "Spencer," Ashley whispered unheard into the space between them.
Ashley stepped further into the room so she could see the other woman's profile. Spencer closed her eyes as her fingers danced across the piano keys. Ashley felt her heart constrict at the pain on the blonde's face as she was completely overtaken by the music. She had known Spencer could play the piano but had never seen her so consumed by a melody.
As Ashley watched Spencer began to sing, her voice low, husky and full of emotion. Ashley was enchanted, she never knew Spencer could sing. The sorrow in Spencer's voice cut the brunette deeply, causing tears to start rolling down her cheeks and chills to travel up her spine.
"This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending
This is the way that we love
Like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together
Wake up in the Morning, Stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, no love, no glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday
This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending
This is the way that we love
Like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together
Two o'clock in the morning and something's on my mind
Can't get no rest keep walking round
If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong
I can get to my sleep, I can think that we just carried on
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, no love, no glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday
This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending
This is the way that we love
Like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together
A little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
A little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday
This is the way you left me
I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory
No happy ending
This is the way that we love
Like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life
But not together."
As Spencer finished the song she put her head in her hands and her shoulders started to shake as she cried. Ashley brought her hands to her mouth to stifle her own sobs. She felt torn, she so wanted to cross the room and pull the sobbing woman into her arms, but she was scared of how Spencer would react knowing Ashley had witnessed her vulnerability.
Ashley swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat and rushed to Spencer's side. Ashley sat down next to Spencer on the piano stool and pulled her into her arms. Spencer tensed for a moment before succumbing to the familiar, comforting embrace. Spencer buried her face into the crook of Ashley's neck and sobbed. Ashley held her closer and felt the other woman's tears on her skin.
After a few moments Spencer tensed again and pulled back out of Ashley's arms, it was all a bit too overwhelming for her. Ashley was waiting for Spencer to blow up at her and then run away, instead Spencer stayed sitting next to Ashley on the piano stool, staring down at her hands.
Ashley bit her lip, struggling to find the words to say. Spencer let out a shaky deep breath, "I don't ever know what to say to you. I've spent the last month while we've been working together, trying to figure everything out, but I just don't know anymore. I really wanted to hate you, and fuck did I try, but I don't, I can't."
Ashley looked sadly at Spencer, "I don't know what to say either. But I'm glad you don't hate me Spencer, even though I deserve it. The last two years have been pure hell and there hasn't been a single day where I haven't thought of you and hated myself for what I did. I missed you."
Spencer sighed and turned to look Ashley in the eye, blue locking onto brown. "I don't know where we go from here, but actually I think I need to go. I have to get ready for tonight, last night of filming and all." Spencer stumbled to her feet and began making her way towards the door.
"Spencer that song you sang…it was…um…haunting and beautiful. Why didn't you ever tell me you could sing?" Ashley called softly.
Spencer paused and turned to look at Ashley, a look of sadness on her beautiful face, "Music was always your thing I only ever did it for fun. It kind of made me feel close to you over the last two years, in those moments where I needed to feel that connection. I wrote that song when I found out I was moving back to L.A., when I realised I might see you again." Spencer smiled softly and left the room.
Ashley watched the door swing closed with the faintest beginnings of a smile on her face. Things were better. She held her hand to her heart feeling the tiniest flutter of hope for the first time in two years.
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The song in this chapter is 'Happy Ending' by Mika, also the title of this chapter is lyrics from this song
Hope you liked this installment.
Please read and review beautiful people!