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Chapter 4

"Meredith… why?" the Chief finally asked.

Meredith looked down, embarrassed with having the Shepards there. Suddenly she paled, and her eyes rolled back into her head.

She coded.

"Meredith!" Christina screamed as she watched the heart monitor go wild.

"Dammit! What happened?" Bailey yelled at the room.

"Lost too much blood! Transfusion isn't keeping up with the loss!"

Bailey pushed the ER doctor out of the way and started doing compressions.

"Don't die on me Grey! I'm not finished with you yet!" Bailey yelled at the lifeless form under her hands.

This went on for 5 minutes before they called in the crash cart.

"Charge to 360! CLEAR!"

Meredith's petite frame lay insensible after the shock.

"Miranda...Stop." The Chief said as he saw no point in keeping her heart beating. Bailey wiped away tears, and moved away from the bed. As soon as she did though, she had one last idea.

Quickly, she ran back and hit Meredith's chest with fast precision.

She came back.

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

After they'd revived me, they sent me to my own room, where the Physc resident was waiting.

He'd asked me many questions, and after, had restrained me to my bed.

Later, Izzie came by, and just sat next to me. Then George, then Cristina, and finally, Alex.

No one said a word.

With the silence, I slowly began to think about how embarrassing it all was, but I never thought it was wrong.

I slowly began to piece together what I would say to get out of there. But eventually I just couldn't take the silence.

"Oh, for the love of God! Somebody say something! I'm going to go crazy with you all just staring at me!"

They all just gave me a look.

"Okay…fine. Crazier. But hey, how I deal is how I deal. Now either leave, or say something."

George stood up, and left. Eventually, Alex followed.

Cristina just looked at me, then, she stood up, walked over to my bed, and slapped me.

"Hey! What was that for?" The sting of the slap was still resident on my cheek.

"You almost died! How could you do that to everyone? Why Meredith? Why?" Cristina shouted.

"Cristina…." Izzie started.

"Don't patronize me Izzie Stevens! What she did is selfish! I-"

"Selfish?" I interrupted her. "I never wanted to die! It was an accident! Besides! You were all fine with it when I first told you!"

"You knew?" Izzie yelled at Cristina. "You let her… mutilate herself?"

"Well it's not like I could stop her! And Shepard knew too! He-"

"Shepard knew? That son of a bitch! I'm going-"

"STOP IT EVERYONE! I'm right here you know!" I interrupted their screaming match. "It's not anybody's fault but mine! Now get out before your screaming makes me cut some more!"

They both stared at me, and then left.

I finally the effects of the drugs they gave me, and fell asleep.

"I want to see her Richard! I have to talk to her!"

I woke up to two men arguing outside my door. I immediately knew it was the Chief, and Derek.

"Shepard, you're the reason why she hurt herself! I'm not letting you go near her until she is mentally stable again!"

"Dammit Richard! I need to talk to her! She needs to know that I only chose Addison because it was the right thing to do, not because I don't love her!"

I sat in shock listening, but when he said love, I gasped.

Their argument immediately stopped, and I pretended to be asleep when I heard them walking towards my door.

"Well, we'll continue this later." Richard's deep voice rumbled. "I need to talk to Dr. Grey without you Derek."

"But Richard-"

"No buts Shepard! You need to leave!"

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Derek walked down the hallway. As soon as he was gone, I sat up. The chief slowly walked into my room.

"Now Meredith, we need to talk."

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