HEY! I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD. It's been a whole year since I've uploaded and I am sorry to keep all of you waiting for so long. I completely forgot about this account to be honest. So much has happened. Okay, I am going to stop talking and let you guys read my story.

I don't own anything.

Chapter 4; Thoughts

Kim's POV

I close the door to the bathroom, leaving Jack in the other room. He looked worried, like I was going to do something while he wasn't looking. He was right. I was. I can't take the voices anymore.

In a secret place in my bathroom, I've kept a blade just in case. In case something like this happens. My eye fill with sudden tears as I pull out the blade. It's a way too relieve the pain.

I know I already have cuts, but I need more. More relief is what I need. Someone almost found out last time, I am not taking anymore chances. I lift my sleeve to my right shoulder and place the blade on my skin. It glides across it, creating pain and letting loose the blood. Bits or blood seeped from the wound. I create more and more. Soon more blood came and dripped down my arm.

I was now happy. The pain I feel psychically has calm me down, inside and out. A single tear rolled down my face. I take some toilet paper and clean up my wounds I've created. Thank goodness I was wear a long sleeve shirt. My wound hasn't completely clotted over yet, but it's manageable.

Jack was waiting for me outside the washroom of the her own house. "You ready?" He asked me.

"For?"

"I don't know, I want to do something." Jack said.

"You want to say over or something." I really wanted a friend over. And Jack was the one.

"Okay, but let me run over to my house and grab some extra clothes first. I won't be long." Jack exited out of my house and left me alone. That gives me one thing to do.

Think. Think of why I am sad and so depressed. It's one thing I really don't wanna think about, but it can escape my mind.

I think back when I was in 7th grade. It was a lonely experience. Basically, I was completely alone. No one cared to talk to me or get to know me. I didn't really care at first, but then it became worse for me later on. In 8th grade, it was the worst. The one good thing was, I did have a friend. A bad one. We fought a lot. It doesn't really matter, I hate her now anyway. In 9th grade, I met Jack and the others. Jack was the first, then everyone else afterwards. It was a little bit better. But I still felt alone. Like no one needed me. I am at the end of 9th grade and I still feel the way I do.

But the thing is I didn't start cutting until a few months ago. It takes my pain away. The voices come and go. Once I've tried to rip my hair out.

The door handle starts to move. The door opens and Jack stood there with a bag. I'm pretty sure it was his clothes. "So, what do you want do?"

"I don't know," I said. "What do you want to do?" Jack shrugged. I go upstairs into my room and my laptop lays on my bed, open. Both of us decided to listen to music, since there really isn't anything fun to do anyways.

I search my files to find one of favorite songs. Runnin' by Adam Lambert. He's not bad, but the song is so catchy. It's not what I usually listen to. I decided to play it and Jack seems to like it.

"What's this song called? I like it so far." He says.

"Runnin' by Adam Lambert."

Once the song was over, I decided to play another one. It's not a song that I listen to a lot, but I really like it. I play the song Sorrow. I look over at Jack. He was kind of shocked.

"I didn't know you liked this kind of music. I thought it was all about pop and rap these days." I chuckled at his little comment and made a smile. I didn't really know if I should take that as an insult or a complement.

The next song I played was a song I've gotten into lately. I play it all the time. It was by Imagine Dragons. They are amazing. One of the things that piss me off is that I liked them before they were famous and now everyone is acting like they're fans. (This is true by the way.) During the middle of the song, I really felt like singing, but I was scared of how Jack would think. I've thought my singing was terrible and stuff.

Jack started scrolling down my files and found a song that he liked. The artist was Nickelback and the song was called I'd Come for You. I didn't know he liked them. I thought he was all about rap or something.

"You like them?" I asked. Jack nodded.

"Yeah. I do. What did you think? I liked whatever was on the radio?" That was true by the way.

"Yes."

"Whatever. I do look like one of them." I laughed and changed the song.

The Fray started to play and it was my favorite song by them. How to Save a Life. Jack and I sat on the bad, calmly. This song did help me through some tough times. Times where I didn't want to get out of bed.

Jack and I looked at each other and just stared. I broke the contact by looking down at my hands. Sometimes, when I listen to this song, I start to cry. I don't know it just gets to me. Jack finally breaks the awkward tension in the room.

"The Fray right?" He asked.

"Yes it is."

"I've heard of them. And this song. It really speaks to you, ya know."

"I agree with you there." Both of us were silent again. The song ended and Jack looked through my music. He search through all my music. My face turns red. The music I listen to, I am pretty sure he doesn't know. And if I play them, he might think I'm weird or something.

"Awolnation?" He asked.

"You know them or something?"

"Yeah, but just this one song."

"I like them, it's just I never got a chance to get into them." I said. It is true by the way.

"Let's stop listening. Besides, it's late." It was only midnight. And my mom still isn't home yet? Wow.

"No, it's not. We got the whole day tomorrow to sleep."

"True." Jack says. "Fine."

"Yay!" I lied on one side of the bed and he lied on the other side. We face each other.

"So..." He said.

"I know it's awkward right," I said. "But there's nothing for us to do, except sleep." I did feel kinda tired too. "I guess I kinda ruined my own plans." I laughed a bit. It was kinda silly, but who was I kidding.

"That's alright." Jack got off the bed and grabbed his bag.

"I'm gonna change in the washroom. Don't do anything while I'm gone." Jack winked and took off. That smile turned into a frown real quick. Most of my smiling was fake. I couldn't hold in the sadness from the song or anything. I'm glad we didn't do anything. I wouldn't have wanted to do it anyways.

I snuck my blade into my room. I knew Jack was getting suspicious of me, so I took it. In my pocket is where I kept it for the entire night. My hand reaches into my right pocket and grab the small, but sharp blade. I lift my sleeve up to my shoulder. I place the blade on my upper arm. My own tears blinded me, but I didn't care. My anxiety starts to rise and I take deep breaths. My heart was speeding up and I felt sick.

The blade crosses my skin and creates a small wound. Not much blood came, but it stung really bad. I wanted to cry my eyes out, but I just couldn't. I drop the blade and grab my pillow. Then, I scream into it. Afterwards, my whole body felt so numb. So empty. No more of that bottled up anger and frustration.

Jack comes in, changed. My face that's buried in my pillow rises and see Jack. He was wearing a long white t-shirt and pajama bottoms. I place my pillow back and lie down on it, facing the opposite direction of Jack.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yes. Why do you ask?" I replied, wiping a tear.

"Just worried that's all." Jack came into my bed, on the opposite side of me. I didn't bother to look at him since I wanted to be with my thoughts and mine alone.

He goes under the covers, facing the opposite of me, and falls asleep. My mind started to panic and I feel numb again. Does he know what I did? The door was open, so...I don't even know anymore.

I slowly fall asleep myself, with negative thoughts in mind.

That's it! You like it? I made it extra long for you guys too, since this is my come back from the dead chapter. I will try to update and fight my laziness and stuff. Make sure to review! I love all you're reviews :)

~OoSleePLesSsoO