Luke's body radiated a halo of damp heat brought on by his recent shower and made warmer still as it contrasted with Noah's frozen rain soaked shirt.
Luke stood really close to him now; close enough for Noah to smell the mint soap and honey shampoo he used in the bathroom.
There was a blazing look in Luke's eyes Noah knew well; pure want.
He felt the coffee mug leave his hands as Luke removed it; placing it on the counter without once breaking eye contact.
"You should step back before…" But Noah's breath escaped in a shudder at his body's instant reaction to Luke's vicinity and he couldn't complete the sentence. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly, sniffed in air through his nose and, as painful as it was, uttered, "You're with… him."
"No, I-"
"It wouldn't be a good idea." Noah quickly interrupted staring Luke down. "Despite what I just said. You know how it was with us."
"Yeah," Luke's eyes were focused on Noah's lips as he half-whispered, "I never forgot. No matter how hard I tried."
He caught Noah off guard. Before he could catch his next breath Noah was wrapped up in strong arms, Luke's lips pressing hard and insistent upon his; pushing him up against the kitchen surface.
This was all it took to render Noah helpless; he responded instantly, crushing Luke too him; deepening the kiss; grunting in a desperate need for more.
A subterranean pulse run through him in answer to each of Luke's satisfied groans while a small voice in the back of his head told him to stop. But that was impossible. Luke had always had this effect on him and it was obvious Luke hadn't forgotten how to bind Noah to him; tantalizing him with this lips.
The need for air demanded separation and they both panted as they broke apart, lips glistening.
Luke hugged him then; and they stood wrapped close, listening to each other's breathing, the robust coffee smell seeping through the homely scent of each other. Noah felt the frost melting. But he feared it.
Pulling back to look at him Luke said, "I've missed you."
Noah's lids closed and he swayed as though drunk. Luke was kissing him again; mouth leaving lips to write a path down the inside of Noah's long neck. Noah's legs wobbled and he gripped onto Luke's shoulders for support, afraid he'd fall.
"Luke," he whispered, head tilted back as Luke's mouth formed a perfect 'O' over his Adam's apple, "Ah… Please… Stop… Don't…"
But Luke wasn't listening. He was too hungry; drowning Noah's words in another probing and irresistible open-mouthed kiss.
It was an instinctive motion to run his hands through Luke's damp hair and as he did the old memories came flooding back:
Luke, ruffled and sleepy in the morning.
Luke sweaty and animalistic after a jog in the park.
Luke naked and wanton on the sofa.
Luke reading a book by the window; sunlight lighting his hair on fire.
Luke's head snuggling against his chest.
By the time Noah's brain had catalogued barely half of their precious moments together, he'd forgotten all the reason why this was such a bad idea. He'd forgotten where he was. He didn't care that Luke was already unbuttoning and removing his shirt. He willed him too.
Standing there topless all Noah could do was tremble as Luke stared at him. His pupils were blown and his coffee eyes darkened by strong desire and Noah knew he was a lost cause.
Luke quickly grabbed and pulled Noah around, pushing him back over the kitchen table; sending a salt and pepper shaker crashing to the floor.
Groaning, Luke rubbed his palms up Noah's chest sucking at each nipple in turn. Noah's body shuddered at his touch and he dug his fingers into each of Luke's shoulder blades; pulling him as close as was humanly possible.
Yet still, it could never be close enough.
It wasn't enough.
"No…" he frowned.
Luke's tongue slicked into his ear.
But rage was rushing quickly through Noah; the dark thoughts polluting his mind; and he shoved Luke back. The blonde stumbled, hitting the wall with a thud.
"Why are you doing this?" Noah demanded. "You're not being fair! You knew… I'd just melt if you…"
"What?" Confused, Luke tried to placate the sudden anger by moving forward, hands reaching.
"I won't let you use me, Luke!"
"Use you?" Luke shook his head, "What the hell do you mean?"
"Not. Right. For. Each. Other!" Noah spat, "Remember?"
Luke flinched just as if he'd been struck a cold blow across his beautiful face. His body visibly shook.
"That's what you said!"
"I can't take that back." He eventually replied softly, tears spilling over again. He seemed to consider something for a moment and then he said, "Honestly, when I said it, I meant it."
Noah blinked and hugged his arms in protectively.
"I wanted to be with-"
"Shut up!" Noah screamed.
"Noah, if we're going to get past this then we have to talk about him."
"And what the hell makes you think I want to get past it anyway? What the hell makes you think I want you here at all?"
Noah had held them at bay since the roadside, but finally the tears broke their banks and spilled out the corners of his blue eyes.
"You said you missed me." Luke reminded him, confused.
"Of course I missed you!" Noah sobbed, wiping his nose across the back of one hand. "I fucking love you…" he sat heavily on the table as the emotions took over, "What did you expect?"
The kitchen air was thick with tension. Just two people, yards apart, trying to make sense of things too painful to stand.
Finally Luke sighed softly and admitted, "I don't honestly know what I expected. I can only tell you what I didn't expect."
Noah looked up at that.
"I didn't expect your leaving to feel like my heart was ripped out. I didn't expect the panic when I couldn't get hold of you… I didn't expect to be searching for you for months! How did you hide from me? Ha? Why couldn't I find you?"
Life is a strange thing, because just as Luke asked this question a man called out and began banging loudly on the apartment door.
"Mr. Wilson? Mr. Wilson? You home? I think they got our mail got mixed up again."
Luke turned and left the kitchen. Noah followed. He watched as Luke opened the door to Chuck Killjoy, one of the rare people in the apartment block who made an effort to remain on friendly terms with the prickly Noah Wilson.
Startled Chuck looked quickly between Luke and the shirtless Noah, instantly realising he was interrupting something big, "You okay man? You look like death!"
"Yeah, yeah…" Noah responded over Luke's shoulder, "Flu."
It was clear Chuck didn't buy that explanation but he said, "You should take better care of yourself."
Noah nodded.
Chuck waited while Luke and Noah shared a long stare.
"Well, do you have it?" he asked eventually, getting impatient as well as feeling somewhat uncomfortable.
"Sorry what?" Noah rubbed at a sudden pain in his temple and he forced his gaze from Luke.
"My mail?"
"I… I haven't checked my box. Can I bring it by tomorrow?"
"Sure." Chuck smiled, handing Luke Noah's small stack of letters.
"Okay," Noah replied in a clear tone of dismissal, "Thanks for letting me know. See you later then."
Chuck nodded and left down the corridor, "Later, man."
Keeping his eyes glued to Noah, Luke sidestepped so the taller man could close the door.
"You're using your mother's name." Head bent, Luke ran his thumb along the address label of the electricity bill on top of the pile.
Noah nodded even though it wasn't a question.
He watched Luke's back as the blonde paced a few steps into the room; placing the stack on the glass surface of the small table beside the sofa.
"I should have thought of that." He was still staring at the address, his forefinger tapping at it. "I guess I didn't realise, or maybe I didn't want to accept, just how badly you wanted to get away from me."
The sad slouch of Luke's shoulders, the anguish in his voice meant Noah had no choice but to try and remedy it.
"Not you, Luke. I wasn't trying to get away from you. I was trying to get away from notbeing with you. It was all I could do. Does that make sense?"
As Luke turned an understanding passed between both men.
Noah nodded. "We can't do this Luke. Not like this. There's too much-"
"Water under the bridge?" Luke finished, also nodding.
"More like under and over it. Flooding it actually."
And Luke laughed. It was a small sound, but it eased a great deal of the tension and Noah took his first proper breath in hours.
"Make you something to eat?"
Luke smiled wetly and nodded.