04
The next morning I waited for him again. I actually tried yesterday after school but like always, he leaves in a hurry.
As I was waiting on the steps, someone unexpected parked in our driveway. It was Mr. Eister.
"Oh, good morning. What a surprise to see you here." I stood up as he walked over to me.
"Good morning, Aracely. I'm sorry for the intrusion. I just came to quickly check on Ronnie under his father's commands. How's he been doing?" he asked kindly.
I hesitated. "Uh.. Well…"
Mr. Eister made a face. "That bad, eh?"
I sighed. "More of less."
"Hmm.. Seems his attitude really hasn't changed." He touched his chin and shook his head. "That boy."
I sensed Mr. Eister had already predicted that it would turn out this way, in some manner of having Ronnie giving us hard time.
I began to invite Mr. Eister in the house when the door opened before us. It was Ronnie.
"Oh, Ronnie," Mr. Eister noted as he took us by surprise.
"Bill," Ronnie called out, "what are you doing here?" He gave off a little of an attitude.
Mr. Eister cleared his throat. "Well, I came to check on you."
Ronnie rose an eyebrow. "Why? I'm not your problem."
He nodded. "Yes, I know but I was ordered to come by your father. He's worried."
Ronnie rolled his eyes. "Worried my ass." He pushed Mr. Eister out of the way and began to walk down the steps on his way to school.
I turned to Mr. Eister expecting him to react but he just stood there, staring at Ronnie walk away. "That boy's attitude really hasn't changed," he finally concluded. "But…" He stayed silent.
"What?" I wanted to know.
"I can tell he's suffering."
My eyes widened. So it is true. What I thought exactly. "Suffering?" It escaped my throat almost in a whisper.
He nodded. "That's what the boy does when he's hurt. He refrains from accepting anything. Basically, he shuts himself away from his surroundings and tries to find ways to escape," he explained. "Like, when he was still living with his father, he would recklessly go out and get drunk and not go back home for days…"
Go out for days and get drunk. Wow, that is the opposite of what he does now. I really couldn't see him doing that here. I guess he found a new way of expressing his feelings.
Mr. Eister exhaled and looked at me. "Well, shouldn't you be heading to school too?"
I almost forgot about that. "Yes! Well, I'm sorry it has turned out like this," I commented on the whole dilemma with Ronnie. "Please, come inside. My mom is in there somewhere." I beckoned to the house and called out to my mom. She came over and minded Mr. Eister.
I ran down the steps and ran in the school direction. Fortunately, just like I planned, I still saw Ronnie walking.
I couldn't let my plans fail again today, even under these circumstances.
"Ronnie!" I ran up to him.
He didn't turn. He just kept on walking.
I was out of breath. "Ronnie… I'm glad I caught up to you." I panted.
"What are you doing?" he sharply asked and took me by surprised. He was angry.
"N-nothing. I'm just walking with you." I tried to stay calm.
He kept staring straight ahead. "Bill put you up to this, didn't he?"
"What?!" That was a shock. "No!" I calmed down. "I'm doing this out of my own free will. I didn't even know he was coming."
He didn't respond. We just kept walking and walking for a good block before I could think of anything to say.
"So… Are you alright?" Oh, goddamnit, I couldn't believe I just asked that! Of course he's not alright!
He glanced down at me then straight ahead again. "What do you think?"
I didn't respond to that as I began to change my mind. Today wasn't a good day to do this. Man, Mr. Eister! He ruined it. Again I had to wait another day and this time, nothing better interfere.
The next day was better. I waited and he came out with no distractions in sight and he seemed to be in a better mood (even though he's never really in a happy mood).
Yesterday after the snide remark he gave me, we walked the whole say to school silent then as we got on the campus grounds, I quickly retreated away from him to my friends quickly before they noticed. That's not really any progress at all so today it had to go better.
I stood up when he walked by and said my good morning.
He greeted back nonchalantly and that was it.
Well, at least he isn't pushing me away, I thought positive.
I decided to take action now. "So listen, have you heard of the preposterous rumors going on around the school?" I asked lightly trying to make small talk.
"No."
Yes he has, liar.
"Really? Come on, Ronnie, I know you had." I tried to get it out of him.
He shook his head. "Nope."
"So you haven't heard those rumors about you?" I finally decided to get it out on the open.
Again, "Nope."
If he really hadn't he would have been at least curious, and he showed no sign of that. Well, I decided to go along with it.
"Well, don't you at least want to know about the rumors?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Don't care."
I smirked. "So, you don't care whether you know or not?" I mused.
He shrugged once again.
"Okay! I'll tell you!" I began to list almost all of the rumors I could think of and when I was done he showed no sign of reaction. He remained calm. That confirmed that he had already known. "So, what do you think?" I asked.
He shrugged for the third time. "I don't really care."
Goddamn, his attitude sure is stingy. I couldn't get enough out of him. It was like trying to make a newborn talk.
"So, you don't care what people say about you? Whether it be true or not?" I asked a little concerned.
He shook his head. "No, 'cause as long as I know they're not true, I'm content with that," he simply answered.
I exhaled. He sure is hard to talk to. I decided to talk about Dave. I did really want to know what he's been doing to avoid him. "So, how's it been going with Dave? Did my warning help you?"
He finally looked at me. "What's with you today?"
I scowled. "What do you mean?" I actually knew what he meant. He found this strange, the fact that I was talking to him so much now, especially with all these questions. I was prepared for this but I didn't think he'd ask so quickly.
"You know what. Did you decide to play twenty questions today or what?" He eyed me suspiciously.
I forced out a laugh and slapped my knee. I've got to admit my laugh wasn't very convincing but I wanted to pretend I had no idea what he was talking about.
Ronnie raised both eyebrows. "What the hell was so funny?" He stayed serious but a little confused.
I eased up my laughing. "Oh, Ronnie, you're such a joker." I punched him lightly.
He pushed my arm away. "Don't fuck with me. I see what you're doing… Actually, I see what you've been doing these past couple of days in fact."
I was surprised. "W-what?" What did he really think I was doing?
"Invading my privacy. Trying to make me talk. What? Do you think I'm stupid?!"
Uh-oh.. I didn't think this would anger him this much.
"You can just tell Bill to mind his own business! And tell him to give my father the message as well." He began to walk away, leaving me behind, dumbfounded to the extent.
Well, I wasn't prepared for that! He only thought I was doing this for them? Didn't I make it clear yesterday?
Anger swelled up inside of me. "What the fuck!? You think I'm doing this for Bill and your father?!" I yelled out at him.
He turned around and I quickly walked up to him. I pushed my finger on his chest. "I told you I was doing this out of my own free will… I was only trying to be your friend!" I said it through clenched teeth. "I was only trying to get to know you!" I stared at him closer now. His eyes were slightly widened. "I was just worried, you freakin' moron!" I shoved my hand away and took another route to school. I muttered the whole way there.
My friends noticed my anger and asked me about it.
I lied and told them it was some conflict with my brother.
During first period, when we were working on our class work, I stayed angry but that didn't hold back my curiosity. I glanced behind to look at Ronnie. He had his head down like usual. I turned back around and sighed. He showed no sign of concern about what I had just told him.
Should I give up? I wondered. I have to admit I almost felt like crying when yelled and for what? His stupid pathetic assumption that which irritated me so much? That's one thing but the fact that he yelled at me as well was another. Why was his anger so unbearable to me? Why did it hurt me so much?
I shook my head. No, no, I can't let a simple feeling like that hold me back. I mean, he yelled at me for the wrong reasons so why should I have my feelings hurt? But then again, would he yell at me again even now that he knows the real reason why I've been bothering him, telling me to leave him alone or could he accept someone else besides Bill and his father with open arms? Or should I just leave him alone and let him deal with this suffering all on his own? Oh, I didn't know. Withdrawn people are so hard to understand.
I banged my head on my table. Hard. "Ow!" I sat up from the pain.
Vita poke me and gestured around the room.
Almost everyone was staring at me. Even Ronnie. I apologized.
Everyone went back to their work and Ronnie scowled before putting his head back down.
"Are you alright?" Vita whispered.
I nodded. "I'm just having a bad day." I put my head down and hid my face.
That evening during dinner, I had a feeling that I would feel awkward with Ronnie around, so I decided to sit next to him, only so I didn't have to look at his face. It pretty much worked. Not a single glance at him, except, we did kind of reach out for the same rice plate at the same time.
I jerked my hand away but he didn't. He just served himself the rice and continued eating as if nothing happened.
I kind of tried to stay in denial throughout the whole day today that my little quarrel with him in the morning didn't affect him at all but after analyzing his behavior today, he showed signs that it was indeed true. It was as if this whole talk with him in the morning didn't happen.
I internally sighed and finally accepted it. It didn't affect him and that made me a little disappointed.
That night I couldn't sleep. Why? No, it wasn't because of Ronnie, it was because that stupid dream! It wasn't gone yet. Even though I was too preoccupied thinking about Ronnie, that dream hasn't left my thoughts at all but in fact tonight, there was something different about it. For the first time, something changed. I was finally able to reached the island.
I got to the island and landed. It was empty. Not a single soul. I walked around for a few minutes when suddenly, I saw a black figure walking towards me. It got closer.. That's when I woke up. I was on the floor with the sheets entangled everywhere.
I stood up and realized how much I was sweating. "Whoa! What the hell was that?" I asked myself. "The dream changed." I stood there in amazement and thought about it. I finally groaned and looked at the time. It was six am. "That dream makes time fly." I scoffed.
When I got myself ready for school, I decided not to wait for Ronnie anymore. I felt like I was just a nuisance to him, and why bother with someone who can't even register feelings, so I will just leave him alone from now onwards like I've had before and not bother risking his yells. He can be miserable by himself.
I sighed and grabbed my backpack. I walked out of the house till the sidewalk when out of nowhere, it began to pour rain and fast. I put my sweater over my head and jogged back to the house to quickly grab my umbrella from the living room closet but just when I reached the porch steps, someone was in the way. I looked up and noticed Ronnie with his own umbrella on his left hand and to my surprise, my umbrella on his right hand. He had it raised up to me but I wasn't sure whether he was handing it to me or if he wanted to stab me with it.
I reached out to grab it but he began to speak, without looking at me. "I was just wondering if you wanted to walk to school together?" he asked in a same tone as when a little kid is forced to play with someone they don't like and they have to try to act nice.
I almost dropped my jaw. I was shocked. He gave me the umbrella. "S-sure," I replied.