Author's Note: Sorry for the late update, school things. and so sorry if this one isn't funny, i'm so stressed out lately :(
Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto and any other brands I may mention below
Festival Fun!
Chapter 4
11:00 AM
Itachi was about going to his room when he passed the 2nd floor bathroom, and suddenly,
"WHAT THE FUCK UN? WHO THE HELL DARE TO DO THIS?" you-know-who-with-speaking-disorder exclaimed
"Oh God," Itachi sighed, after the tobi-shirt incident is there any worse thing could possibly happen today?
"What is it, Deidara?" he asked, trying so hard to not threaten Deidara because if he does, Deidara would turn into his blow-things-up rampage and he'll blow up the lair, then Kakuzu will be ridiculously mad because they'll have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to fix the lair up, then Kakuzu will be ridiculously insane, and he'll ridiculously try to kill Itachi for making their lair ridiculously detonated, and then Kakuzu will ridiculously recruit Sasuke to join Akatsuki and ruined his life, then...then...then... "stop, Itachi." he told himself, "this is ridiculous"
"WHO THE FUCK SWAP MY SHAMPOO WITH THIS BABY OIL UN?" Deidara yelled, just wearing towel and holding a Baby Oil bottle "my hair smells like baby's butt"
Kisame take the baby oil from Deidara's hand, "this is mine! who gave it to you?"
"Eh..? what did you say Kisame un?" Deidara's eyes widened
"Err" Kisame noticed his mistake "Well, this baby oil is mine-"
Before he could finished his sentence, Itachi and Deidara laughed very hard in unison, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT THE FUCK KISAME? WHO KNOWS THAT YOU USE BABY OIL? HAHAHAHAHA" they laughed 'till they ran out of air supplies -literally.
When both of the long haired men gasping for air, Kisame took this opportunity to explain things,
"I'm not the one who use it! It's for my fishies! I want them smell great!" Kisame explained
"Well, that's the same un! who knows that you spend your times rubbing your fishes with baby oil?"
"What a scary member of Akatsuki" Itachi added
"Fuck that! Like you're scary" Kisame answered back, "By the way Deidara, did you realize that you're wearing nothing except a towel?"
"AAAAHHHH!" Deidara screamed like girl then ran to the bathroom, slamming the door
"Oi Deidara!" Hidan walked in the corridor from his room "I almost forget to tell you; I used your shampoo"
"WHAT UN!" Deidara slammed open the door again, didn't care if he still just wearing a towel
"..shampoo." Hidan spell it right in front of Deidara's face, considering this as a great opportunity to annoy Deidara "You look hot when you're topless" then Hidan laughed like a maniac
"The fuck Hidan? Y U GAY?" Kisame looked disturbed
"I'm not fucking gay fish boy! Why in hell would I be gay if lots of girls wanna be with me?" Hidan asked, running his fingers through his silver shiny hair
"Ugh..Im going to puke soon"
"This is going to be interesting" Itachi thought
"What about my shampoo un?" Deidara shouted
"Oh Jashin, people in this lair are going to be as fuckin' cheap as Kakuzu! I just used a very little-tiny-small amount of your oh so precious shampoo! It's not my fault if it wore out, it's your fucking fault that you didn't buy it before i used it!"
"WHO KNOWS THAT YOU WILL USE MY SHAMPOO UN? YOU FUCKING THIEF!" Deidara roared
"WE'RE IN THE SAME ORGANIZATION HERE! WE SHOULD FUCKING SHARE WHAT WE HAVE, ASSHOLE" Hidan roared back
"Wow Hidan, did you just told Deidara about solidarity? that sounds very unlike you" Itachi noted
"But that doesn't go for Kakuzu," he shrugged "He will probably chose money than this organization"
"My shampoo..my...my...it is MINE!" Deidara yelled, his voice was shaking rapidly
"Tell you what, you're too over" Kisame told him, "Just buy another one"
"You dont know un! That shampoo is a very-damn-fucking-out-of-our-mind limited! There are only 10 per year un!"
"What kind of fucking shampoo that just vended 10 per year?"
"THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUSLY LIMITED IDIOT! AND YOU JUST USED IT UN!"
"Lucky me that I used your limited shampoo, no wonder why my hair is so smooth" Hidan said innocently while stroking his hair
"YOU!- HOW DARE YOU!" then the following events are; Deidara blew Hidan up, Hidan's head thrown in the air and revolved to Itachi's feet
"HAHA YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME, ASSHOLE!"
"I DON'T CARE I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU SUFFER IN A LIFETIME UN!"
"Give it a shot shemale!"
Unfortunately, Deidara has an idea on his mind; he blew up Hidan's scythe, took Hidan's necklace from his no-head neck, then flushed the necklace in the toilet
"AAAHHHH! LORD JASHIN WILL PUNISH ME IF I LOST THEM!" Hidan cried
"Be patient, Hidan" Itachi said sympathetically
"I CAN'T BE FUCKING PATIENT!" Hidan roared, "WHEN KAKUZU ALREADY SEW ME UP I'LL THREW HIM TO THE FANGIRLS SO THEY CAN RAPE HIM"
Deidara, who was in the middle of horror imagination of him being raped by fangirls, shaking rapidly and lost his ability to talk. He fainted.
"He's just the same as Tobi," Itachi tsk-ing, he took Hidan's head and stick it to it's body again, "Go to Kakuzu and ask him to sew you up again. Be careful your head may loose again and i refused to having Tobi fainted again if he saw your head detached again"
"What about my scythe and necklace, fucker?"
"You shouldn't call the one who helped you 'fucker', dumbass. Just ask Sasori to repair your scythe, and as for your necklace, ask him" he pointed to Kisame "to lend you his fishes to get back your freak necklace"
"It's not freak! It's a holy necklace!"
"Whatever"
"Uh..Itachi? If I let my fishies to swim in that toilet, then there will be no use for the baby oil" Kisame said slowly
"That baby oil doesn't smell good at all, it smells like baby's butt so there's no use of it in the first place" Itachi answered then leave
Kisame didn't say anything to his partner's harsh comment. He's probably crying inside.
"Hey Hidan, tell you what; I'll lend you my fishies but pay $10 for each minute" Kisame grinned
"WHATHEFUCK? Pein haven't fucking pay us yet, you know that! You're just the same as Kakuzu! Ugly, don't have normal human appearances, cheap-"
"-you wan't your necklace back or not?" Kisame asked with dark aura surrounding him
"OKAY! OKAY! I'LL PAY"
"Great. Now, what are we going to do with this blondie here?"
"I don't fucking care" then he leave to find Kakuzu
"Sorry Deidara, I have to leave you too. Hope someone will find you" Kisame sinckered
13:00 PM
Itachi is in his room reading books, Hidan is in the toilet with the fishes, Kisame is with Hidan to make sure Hidan isn't going to hurt his fishies, Zetsu and Tobi are watching TV, well its more like Tobi was trying to annoy Zetsu watching TV to avenge his shirt, Sasori is in his room trying to fix Hidan's scythe, Kakuzu and Pein are in the kitchen talking about pay hike, Konan is in her room doing her hair, and Deidara...he's in God-and-you-know-where
"It's almost 3pm, I think we should go now, Konoha is very far from here" Pein said
"Who's going to drive the car?" Kakuzu asked
"Everyone is okay except Itachi or Hidan, they'll hit everyone who get in the way" Pein say with a horror tone
"Hahahah," Kakuzu laughed sarcastically, "I'll tell everyone to get going"
"Where is Deidara-senpai?" Tobi panicked, he's wearing an orange shirt that Deidara lend him, and a short, no longer wearing his mask, and wearing a full-framed glasses (A/N: he looks like Obito, not Madara)
"Can't we just leave him?" Zetsu's dark side said
"No we can't!" Tobi yelled "Tobi wants to go with senpaaaaiii!"
"What the hell is he doing?" Pein frowned, unhappy "Konan get him now! We're almost late"
Itachi, Kisame, Hidan (who already has his necklace back and his scythe fixed) didn't tell anyone a single thing about what happened
When Konan already on the 2nd floor, she went to the corridor, she didn't expect to find a certain man in a certain condition just wearing a certain cloth there
When she saw Deidara, fainted on the floor, half-naked, she was ready to explode
"DEIDARAAAAAAAAAAA...!" she screamed with a mega-hyper-ultra loud voice, if you're sensitive enough, you'd feel that the lair is shaking
I think this chapter isn't very funny, I'm sorry if it is. And I think Tobi looks gorgeous with a full-framed glassed XD
R & R please!