Chapter 4

The next afternoon, Brian awoke feeling like death warmed over. He was past his prime, that was certain. When that had happened; he didn't know? He wanted nothing more than to spend a lazy Sunday curled up with Steve on the couch.

They'd started discussing the pitch to Quantum 8. It was Brian's project because he was still the best ad man there was. Scoring this account, even though it was a product launch for one specific product was huge. If they could translate this one campaign into future campaigns with other Quantum 8 products it would undoubtedly make Brenner/Vanguard the number one ad agency in New York.

"So, Justin's partner created Quantum 8. Hmmm…. Wow. That's….something."

"Yeah." Brian said, lost in thought about the day before.

"Do you feel like you're ready for the big pitch next week? I heard Justin mention that KG and their advertising arm were meeting with several potential agencies."

"Well that's to be expected, Quantum 8 is fucking huge."

"I'm thinking we're going to need a spectacular presentation. Something they can't say no to, even if they want to."

"I did this entire presentation myself. I can assure you, it's pretty fucking spectacular."

"Yeah, I'm sure it is, but do you think our campaign would set us apart from the others?"

Getting angry. "Well I don't know Steve, I don't know what the other agencies are pitching, but I know the quality of my work. What are you getting at?"

"Why are you getting angry?"

"I'm not getting angry, but it sounds like you're questioning my work."

"Brian, I know your work is stellar. I'm not questioning that. It's just, well….we really need to get this campaign. You don't think that maybe, just maybe Justin is harboring any past grudges do you?"

Brian turned around to face him. "It's been 12 years now Steve. 8 years since I've even seen him. I highly doubt Justin is still harboring a grudge. Besides, he's not like that. He never was. Anyway, you saw him last night. He and Jay are ridiculously happy together. Fuck, why wouldn't they be?"

"I know you're probably right, but even if us being together was the right thing for us, we still went about it the wrong way. I know that he's no big fan of me. I just don't want that to cloud our chances. Hell, you haven't even seen each other in 8 years as you say. We don't know how he really feels about all that happened."

"You know what Steve; I, no we both helped Justin a lot the first few years. We tried to ease the hurt a little. But you made me choose. I couldn't be your partner and a good friend to Justin too, so I chose and I chose you. So don't forget the fucking history here. If now somehow it's inconvenient and it might have helped that we'd stayed friends, well we'll just have to live with it." Calming some, "But I know you're worried unnecessarily. He was never spiteful or vengeful. I doubt he would have ever done to us what we did to him. And I'm sure he won't use it as a wedge to deny us the account. He probably won't give us any special consideration, but he's not going to deny us either."

Picking up his phone Brian scrolled through to find the new numbers they'd exchanged and connected the call. Hell looked at Steve as he spoke.

"Hello."

"Justin?"

"Brian? This is a surprise. What's up?"

"Hey, where's Jay?"

"He went out for his run about an hour ago. Can I help you with something?" Jesus. Brian was wiped and Jay was out running a few miles. He shook his head and glanced at Steve.

"Well, I was wondering, you know we have that pitch to Quantum 8 this week. Do you think we could get a sneak peak of an actual Hybrid Tablet? Just to maybe tweak my presentation a little. I don't want to cross any boundaries or have an unfair advantage, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask."

"I don't think that would be a problem. But let me give you KG's number, I'm sure he could get a prototype over to you." Brian didn't know why he felt disappointed getting dispatched to KG.

"Oh, umm ok. I just thought maybe you guys had the new model lying around that I could look at."

"Hmmmm…ok, why don't you and Steve come to dinner? Jay won't mind showing it to you and he's much more versed on the new features than I am. 7:00 o'clock o.k.?"

"Yeah, sounds great."

"Alright, I'll text you the address."

"Ok, bye."

Brian turned to Steve. "See, I told you. You up to going to dinner at their place?"

Justin and Jay owned an apartment in one of the swankier buildings in New York. While it was large and very, very nice, it wasn't nearly as large as Brian and Steve's two floor apartment in the Trump Tower. Inside, it was very unpretentious, warm, cozy and homey; like Justin. It totally belied Justin and Jay's financial status. The smells coming from the kitchen were heavenly.

"Hey, thanks for inviting us?" Brian handed over a very expensive bottle of wine.

"Oh, you're welcome. You didn't have to bring wine. Come on in. Make yourselves at home."

Justin took their jackets. Steve turned to him and said, "It smells great in here. What are you cooking?"

"Jambalaya" Justin and Brian answered in unison.

Justin smiled. "You remembered?"

"Yeah, it was one of the only things you could make for the longest." Brian grinned.

Justin laughed. "Well my culinary skills have greatly improved thank you very much. But my Jambalaya is Jay's favorite. It's nothing fancy so I hope its ok. Steve I hope you don't mind spicy food."

"No, not at all."

"Well again, make yourselves at home while I finish up in the kitchen. Jay should be out in a minute. He's on a conference call. That man never stops working."

Brian and Steve wandered around checking out the displayed artwork. Along with Justin's pieces they had some very pricey masterpieces hanging along with some unknown artists, but it all fit right in with the cozy décor.

Justin came out a few minutes later with glasses of wine for them. "Dinner will be ready in about 20 minutes. I'm just waiting for the bread to finish. Have a seat."

Steve and Brian sat together on the couch. "Justin, we love your place. It's so inviting. How long have you guys had it?"

"Jay owned this place when we met. Even though his base is San Francisco, he'd come here so often that he decided to buy a place. Mind you, it looked like frat pad before I got to it. We're not really flashy and there was no need to buy a bigger place. We do have one place that may be considered a little flashy, but the kids love it, so we can't really get rid of it."

"Kids? You guys have children?" Brian asked, unable to mask his surprise.

"Yes. Three. Can you believe it? Jay was married before and he had two. He and I have one together. Two girls and a boy. We don't like them to miss too much school, so we don't usually bring them with us to New York unless it's summer time. We're only here maybe a quarter of the time."

"How didn't I know any of this? Why didn't I know you spent that kind of time in New York? You have truly shocked me in the last couple of days Sunshine. You seem really happy, though."

"Well I'm sure my name doesn't come up in much conversation even amongst the Pittsburgh crew. I got the message loud and clear 8 years ago that maybe our friendship had run its course. And it worked out for the best, but yeah, I am deliriously happy. You know family and my art was always what mattered most to me, so I feel like I now have it all. But look at you guys, being soul mates and all. You said 12 years ago that you found your domestic bliss and you're still together. I'm happy for you guys. Really." Steve looked at Brian and reached over and grabbed his hand, their fingers intertwined.

Just then Jay came out and bent down to kiss Justin. "Hey guys, I heard you come in. Sorry for being rude. I had a conference call I couldn't get out of."

"No problem. Thanks for having us on such short notice."

"Well, dinner should be just about done. I'll call you guys when it's ready." Justin got up to check the food.

"You guys will excuse me for a minute? I'm going to help Justin in the kitchen."

"Yeah, go right ahead."

Brian and Steve could hear Justin and Jay laughing and joking with one another in the kitchen. Easy banter back and forth. It seemed like they really had a lot of fun together. Sunshine hadn't changed a bit. Brian thought back to days spent feeding each other ice cream and fucking on the chaise in his loft. He found himself wondering what his life would have been like if he'd have chosen Ju….What was he thinking. He and Steve had a good life. Maybe Steve wasn't the jokey type and they'd never fed each other ice cream, but they had a good, mature, comfortable, quiet life. Just what Brian had said he wanted. He never had to wait for Steve to grow up. He didn't have to explain things to Steve, as Steve reminded him. He and Steve were equals, whereas Justin would eventually get there (boy did he ever get there), but Brian never was patient. Steve was the grown-up in their relationship at the beginning. But Steve didn't want to have to wait for Brian to grow up either, so he quickly matured into the perfect partner. As a result, they were easing into old age together. Comfortable like old couches. Brian had told himself that he truly loved them both, but he just loved Steve more. He really had believed that. Then.

Dinner was delicious. Even better than Brian remembered it. Sunshine had truly perfected Jambalaya. Conversation was good, mostly talking business, between Brian, Steve and Jay. Brian and Steve really like Jay. What was there not to like? After dinner Jay showed Brian and Steve the features of the new Hybrid Tablet, then the men adjourned back to the living room where Justin had set out coffee. They sat around talking old times and catching up.

"Justin, do you think Steve and Brian might like to come on our family extravaganza this summer?"

Brian and Steve looked at Jay. Justin looked skeptical.

"I don't know. You used to have to drag Brian kicking and screaming to a family function. Anyway, we have a place on Lake Cuomo, in Italy and usually we spend several weeks there with the kids and some of our friends. Anyway, this year, we were planning on inviting the whole Pittsburgh family for a week or two. We have plenty of space and even a couple of guest houses on the property if you and Steve would like to come and need some privacy. Either way you're more than welcome to come, but don't tell Michael because I plan on surprising Deb with the trip. She's never been to our place."

"That's really nice of you Justin, but usually Brian and I get Gus for a few weeks in the summer and take him to our cabin in Massachusetts."

"No problem, I totally understand. We were planning on inviting Lindsay, Mel and Gus as well, and our son is about Gus's age. But we'll work around it. Maybe when you guys have Gus, Lindsay and Mel will use it as a getaway."

Brian didn't know what came over him. Maybe it was the nostalgia of their chat down memory lane but he said, "You know, I think that would be nice. I haven't seen everyone all together in years and I'm sure Gus would love to have another kid his age to hang out with. We've been to Italy once and would love to go back. Get us the details and we'll see if we can't work it out."

Brian looked at Steve and smiled. His face was blank but he said, "Sure, sounds nice."

Brenner/Vanguard ended up with the new account to launch Quantum 8's new hybrid tablet.

Justin and Jay returned to San Francisco and their life which was their kids. Justin hated being away from them. Even though he and Jay only had joint custody of Jonathan Jr. 15 and Cassidy 13, Jay's kids with his ex-wife Morgan, he couldn't love them any more than if they were his own biological children. It had taken some time before Morgan was comfortable with two "fags" having shared custody of her kids, even though it was San Francisco where they lived, but now they all got along well. Jonathan Jr. or Jon as they called him and Cassidy loved Justin and considered him their other dad. They also had a five year old daughter named Daviny that was carried for them by a surrogate. They were a happy family.

Justin, Jay and the kids returned to New York the next month for Justin exhibit at MOMA and Brian and Steve would also attend the opening. Debbie, Lindsay, Jennifer, Molly and Daphne were flying in for the opening as well. The day before the show Justin received a call.

"Hello?"

"Justin, how are you?"

"Hey Brian. I'm good. How are you? How's Steve?"

"We're both good….listen, I was wondering what you were doing for lunch today?"

"I don't really have any plans. Why, what's up?"

"Well I thought maybe you'd like to grab lunch today. My treat. Kind of a pre-opening celebration."

"Well, Jay won't be able to join us, but if you and Steve can stand just me, then sure. Where and what time?"

"How about Spartan on 38th? Say 1:00 o'clock?"

"Sure, I'll see you there."

Brian arrived alone, just after Justin and they were lead to a table. "Where's Steve?"

"Oh, I was just planning it to be the two of us. We haven't had a chance for just the two of us to sit down and talk since I saw you MOMA."

Justin furrowed his brow and cocked his head slightly sideways to take in Brian.

"Well, I didn't think you'd want to have time with just me to sit down like friends. Does Steve know you're here?"

"No, I don't have to report to him that I want to have lunch with you."

Justin burst out with a laugh. "What!"

"What?"

"Brian, I like Steve. You know I do. But before last month, I hadn't seen or heard from you in 8 years. And if I remember correctly, I invited you to a show I was having and you brought Steve along; which was fine with me. But you proceeded to let me know in no uncertain terms that you and Steve knew I was still in love with you, but that I was dreaming because it was never going to happen. Steve was your soul mate, blah, blah, blah. I said then that I wanted us to remain friends and you said yeah sure after some long consideration as if you were doing me a favor. Not long after that, I tried to keep in touch, but you made it clear that you had no desire to remain friends with me. I realize it probably came from Steve's directive, but then again it probably partially came from you too. Grown tired of the twink who wouldn't leave. I continued to invite you to shows for a while, got no response, but then I gave up and moved on with my life. You were happy, I found happiness and all's well that ends well right…..Look, I'm glad we're back in touch and I'd like us to remain friends, but don't pretend that Steve would be too thrilled that you and I are having lunch, minus him. Although, I don't see why not. As he told me once, you and he were meant to be. There's nothing, not even my tight little ass that could tear you two apart."

Brian was silent for a moment not sure what to say. He looked contrite. "Look Justin, I didn't mean any disrespect by this lunch. I've realized since we've been back in touch that I have missed having you as a friend in my life. You're right, Steve did have a problem with us remaining friends and I don't blame him. He is a decent man Justin. I just think it was hard not to feel threatened by you because he knew that I did love you."

"Yes, and as you both beat into my head, you loved us both. You just loved Steve more."

"You're right, I did love you both. But as much as he could bluster and say to you that you had no chance of ever stealing me away, in truth he was always worried that I'd go back to you. So, he asked me to make a choice, and I had to choose his and my relationship over friendship with you. It was wrong because you were blameless in all this and I shouldn't have had to choose. But I want you to know that I'm very sorry that I had to make that choice and I hope that we can be real friends once again."

"What's that you used to say 'sorry is bullshit'?"

"Justin, I have realized over the years that sorry is absolutely not bullshit. I have done a lot of things to be sorry for. I just want us to again try to really be friends. Without you keeping me at a polite arm's length. I know I've probably got to earn some trust there, but honestly I never thought that you wouldn't be a big part of my life always, even after Steve and I got together."

"Brian, really, I don't hold any ill will towards either of you. Yeah, I was hurt for a long time. But life goes on. Anyway, enough with the dramatics; I'm starved, let's order." He smiled a genuine smile at Brian.

With the ice broken, Brian and Justin had a really great lunch and good conversation. It felt a little like old times, before things got weird between them.

TBC