Lois stabbed her fork into the mysterious meat with no intention of lifting the meat up to her mouth. It was mysterious because she wasn't sure she had ever seen meat quite that color before.

"You should have your mommy pack you a lunch," the boy across from her said.

"I don't have a mommy to pack my lunch."

"Well, your daddy then."

She scoffed. "My daddy wouldn't pack me a meal if I starving. Although, a certain family member might have put something together before he carted me off to this godforsaken place with food made to break a student's will to live. What is it with school lunches?"

The boy laughed. "You're weird." He put his hand out across the table. "My name is Carter."

"Lois," she said, shaking his hand.

"I know that," he said with a roll of his eyes. "You're the new student, not me."

"Right," she said distractedly, wondering if she should risk the jello.

---

Lois had sometimes fantasized during her high school physics class about going back to kindergarten as a kindergartener and amazing the teacher with her "advanced" math skills. That sounded nice in theory, but learning what you already knew was enough to bore you to tears, even more so than physics.

Mrs. Kenney held up math cards. "What number is this, Daniel?"

"4!" he shouted as if he had just discovered a cure for cancer.

"Great job," she praised, putting a chocolate kiss on his desk.

Lois was her next victim. "Can you tell me what this number is, Lois?"

"1," Lois answered unenthusiastically.

"Wonderful and if there were two 1s what would the number be?"

Lois sighed. "11."

"Fantastic," she said, placing 2 kisses on her desk.

Lois felt like a dog getting rewarded for a trick. She eyed the two kisses and then unfoiled them and popped the chocolate candy into her mouth. Nobody ever said there weren't benefits to being a dog.

Naptime was after math. Lois lay on the blue mat and stared up at the dark ceiling. She did not need a nap. This was undignified. She was older than the teacher and she had to take a nap. Ms. Kenney was—

Lois didn't finish that thought because Ms. Kenney flipped on the lights.

"We just got down on the mat," Lois blurted. "What happened to naptime?"

"You fell asleep," Ms. Kenney told her with a smile.

Lois thought about it as she put up her mat. She actually felt very refreshed from the 20 minute nap. Maybe a nap was nothing to turn her nose up at, but she didn't see Perry going in for naps, no matter how beneficial they were.

---

Lois was glad when 3:00 rolled around. It had been a long day. She couldn't imagine what a full school day would be like. She had fortunately got the shortened version.

30 minutes later, she was still waiting for her ride, along with a couple of other kindergarteners. They were in the cafeteria and watching anxiously through the clear doors for their cars. Lois was annoyed. He had super speed. Why was she getting picked up last? He had better have a good excuse that's all she had to say, as the girl next to her was working on getting her nose cleaned out and it was driving her crazy.

She wanted desperately to say something, but if the day had taught her anything, it was that kindergarteners cried at the drop of a hat literally. A girl had dropped her new hat on the playground and cried. She had made 3 kindergarteners cry today all by herself. Lois tried hard to keep quiet, but she couldn't take it anymore; she was about to push it up to 4. "Don't cry, little girl, but—" the sound of a car pulling up interrupted her.

Martha Kent got out of the car and peered through the doors with squinted eyes, trying to figure out which of the girls Lois was.

"Great, my mother-in-law is here to pick me up from kindergarten. This is so humiliating," Lois complained.

"What's a mother-in-law?" asked the girl, finally taking her finger out to hear the answer.

TBC