CM don´t belong to me, I just own these speculations. Yet again I want to remind you of my love on reviews.
The Honorable Hotchner
It is his job to lead the team. He is the one with the responsibility. First and foremost he is Jack´s father and that is an ever bigger responsibility. Wherever he goes, wherever he is, he´s in charge. The guy with the duties, the obligations and the authority. He is a protector, a leader, a fighter, a caretaker. No matter what. And because he is that, then there are certain things he must carry alone.
Brown used to be Haley´s favorite color. He never understood why. It was so boring and dull. It has started to grow on him now though. Once Haley bought a brown dress. He thought it was hideous, but he never said that to her. Every time he sees a brown dress he thinks of her.
Jack is, and always has been, the most important thing in his world. Nothing and no one will ever get to touch that boy as long as he lives. The thought of losing him was unbearable.
It broke his heart when Haley divorced him. Losing, knowing he had hurt her so much and the fear of not being able to spend the little time he had outside of work with Jack terrified him. If it hadn´t been for the fact that he still could see his son once in a while, he probably wouldn´t have made it through the whole thing.
He would never admit it to anyone, but if it hadn´t been for Jack, then he probably would have considered taking his own life when Haley died. Or maybe pulled a Gideon. Just take off. But he definitely would have turned back to the job. He sacrificed his marriage for the job, he would never be able to leave it forever. If so then Haley´s death would be for nothing.
He wanted to spend more time with his family. Haley and Jack were the most important thing in the world to him. But he just couldn´t stop working. He wanted to but he couldn´t. There were always more killers to catch, more people to save. He just couldn´t.
He can never repay Morgan for doing so much paper work for him. He seemed hell bent on making sure that he could get as much time with Jack and possible. Morgan had been right: every minute counts.
How much he loved Garcia. She was the sun that shone through the team´s darkness and depression. He had really meant it when he told her to never change.
The reason he had threatened to fire Reid was because he had been terrified when he had seen him standing in the shooting line.
Jessica was like a god´s gift to him. Having someone help with Jack, knowing that when he was away his son had someone he loved and trusted with him, it means the world to him. Also being able to talk to an adult that knew and loved Haley. It really did help. Not much, but it was still nice to be able to talk about her with someone he didn´t have to put a brave face on for. And when she said that she Haley and hadn´t divorced because they didn´t love each, meant the world to him.
JJ was like the sister he never had. Losing her hurt him more then he let on. Sometimes it felt like she was his partner. Like that they were the parents in this strange family that the team was to all of them. If so, then Rossi was the crazy uncle, the father´s long lost brother. The rest would be their children. Garcia and Morgan were the twins that drove them all crazy, but still made them laugh and Reid would be the youngest one, the baby in the family. And just like with his other family, the mother of his children had been taken away from him. Ironically in Haley´s case it was his job that took her away, but with JJ it was hers.