I do not own any bit of this, for I own this idea. BUT, I don't own the characters.

Dante walked outside the front door, to see Hayate laying on the ground. "Wake the fuck up! Today you will learn a barell roll." Dante kicked Hayate on the shoulder. "Fuck! Dammit what the hell did I say about waking me up after a full night of vodka and whiskey?!"Hayate yelled out, biting Dante's boot. A man with a mullet approached Dante in camoflauge, sneaking on the ground. He held out his tranquilizer, shooting Dante in the throat. Dante fell over, on top of Hayate. The man then snuck into the house, Ayane looked at the door open. But there was no one there.

The mullet man then slid across the wall, going near Ryu's room. Ryu, was listening to his MP3 player, when he heard someone's foot prints. Ryu looked at the door, but there was no one there. The mullet man knew it was going pretty risky. So he added on sticky palms on his gloves. And he crawled across the ceiling. Kasumi felt something on the ceiling, and looked outside. But there was nothing there. He snuck into Kasumi's room, while she was outside. Kasumi had gone down for a Dr. Pepper drink, while The mullet man snuck through her panty drawer. When all of a sudden, everyone in the room appeared. "Panty-stealer!" Ayane yelled out. "Dammit! These aren't at all mini-Metal Gear's! This is an insult to me, my family, AND my mullet!" The man yelled. "Oh wait, who the hell are you guys?" Snake questioned, turning around to see them all standing there, but Link.

"We're ninja's, we all know what you were doing, you panty-napper!" Hayate yelled at the theif. "My name's Solid Snake, and I thought Metal Gear's were in here!" Snake exclaimed. "And he doesn't even look remotely close to a ninja!" Snake yelled out, pointing at Dante. "He had training." Ayane explained. "And what the hell are Metal Gears?" Ryu asked. "They are nuclear weapons of destruction." Snake explained. "Well, my name's Ryu. That's Hayate, Ayane, Dante, and Kasumi."Ryu introduced. "Hey, I never knew your names!" Link exclaimed, walking through the room. "That's because we hated the very sight of you. Dumb shit." Dante explained, once again proving that everyone hated him. "I thought you guys were all busy." Snake wondered. "Well, decoys. Ninja's can do that. You can't, because your made of pure fail." Hayate answered. "Well, Hayate, your learning your Internets."

After 12 hours of arguing, they finally decided to let Snake into the house. "Hmm...what a week. Tengu becoming Dante's bitch, new set of neighbors, and now a new guy moving in." Ayane mentioned, throwing darts at a target in her room. Ryu meanwhile, was taking a shit while reading a playboy magazine "Heh heh...yeah.". Hayate was out drinking beer as usual "So I tell em'...go buy ur own condamzzzz." Before passing out. And Dante was beating the shit out of Tengu, while forcing him to remember all of the names from the Air Gear Anime. "Itsuki Minami...Agito/Akito/Lind Wanijima...uh...Ringo I forget whats her last nam- OW! My nose!". Kasumi was out buying more Dr. Pepper. "Dammit, it's so addictive!". Snake was watching a war movie "Dammit! Fire that M64 Recoiless Rifle! Blow up that tank!". While Link was busy playing Ocarina of Time. "Dammit! Where the hell do I get that red tunic!". "Yep, what a family..." Ayane said to herself, sighing. "I think I'mma soothe my troubles with a couple of drinks."

It was 10:00 P.M. and the electricity went out. "Dammit! Right when I was about to pwn Ganon with my Biggorin sword!" Link spat out. Everyone met up in the hallway. But they couldn't see a thing. "Dammit! Who the hell is grabbing my ass?!" Ayane yelled out. Let me rephrase that. No one could see in the dark, but Ryu. Ryu then saw Kasumi coming close to her sis, and Ryu took advantage of that, grabbing Kasumi's ass too.

Dante moved towards downstairs, still not seeing a fucking thing. He fell down the stairs, cursing everytime he touched a step. "Shit! Fuck! Damn! Ass! Bitch! Bastard! Fucker! Dammit! Tom Cruise!" "What the hell do we do?" Snake asked, putting on his night vision. He saw Ryu grabbing Ayane and Kasumi's asses. "I uh...think I know who's grabbing your ass now." Snake said, pointing at Ryu. "Who?" Ayane asked. "Ryu." Snake said, as both Ayane and Kasumi lunged onto Ryu, pushing him down the stairs onto Dante. "SON OF A BITCH!" Dante yelled out. Both Kasumi and Ayane began punching Ryu in the face.

11:30 P.M. The Electricity came on. Dante went down the "Other Basement" Which everyone hadn't seen before. The stairs slid underneath Dante, causing him to fall off the stairs. "MOTHERFUCKER!" He yelled, as he fell down the stairs face first. Ayane opened the door to see what was the commotion, when she fell down the stairs and fell on Dante. "GOD DAMMIT!" Dante yelled, as he was certainly having bad luck with stairs. Ayane got up and looked at the basement. It was dank and dark, but still visible. It was a whole tunnel. There were 3 passage ways. And a giant robotic synth looking creature was headed their way. Ayane heard it and got down. "Fuck...my back is killin-" Dante was cut off by Ayane covering his mouth. "Sssh, we're not alone...moron." She whispered. The synth looking creature came out of the tunnel, hearing Dante's voice. 'What the hell is that thing?" Ayane thought to herself. She looked closely on the creature, there was a writing on it. It said Property of the Combine. 'Combine? What the hell are the Combine?' Ayane thought to herself.

11:34 P.M. Soldier's came into the room. "No sign of human life in this vicinity. The Combine shall kill them and take over the mansion and then get welfare." The combine was talking on a radio. "...No..." Ayane said to herself, coming out of the cover, grabbing one Combine by the head, then crushing it. She threw the shattered Combine into the other Combine, knocking him out. The synth creature dove towards her, but She grabbed the synth creature by the head, and smashed it into the ground. "Wow...What a Woman!" A small little voice called out. "Who the hell was that?" Ayane asked grumpily. A squirell came out of a shadow. "My name's Conker." The squirell introduced. "Well...I think I'mma call you furry little bastard. Because I hate you already." Dante introduced. "My name's Dante." "I know already. I lived here ever since this mansion was built." Conker admitted. "Well then, at any rate, let's disguise ourselves in their clothing!" Ayane thought to herself. It was a brilliant plan.

Sorry it's a bit of a short chapter. I'm working on the 5th chapter and it'll be KICK ASS.