"You and I have something different,
And I'm enjoying it cautiously.
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard.
To get back to who I used to be."
"Dude! Hurry up and go get dressed!" Mordecai yelled to Rigby, who sat on the coach continuing to play the video game the blue jay had told him to turn off well over twenty minutes ago.
"Jeez, what are you? My mom?" Rigby chuckled.
"It's not funny! Do you know how hard it was for me to get reservations at Bistro en le Parc?" Mordecai yelled back, jerking the controlled out of Rigby's hand.
"I don't see what the big deal is..."
"You can't go like that! They have a dress-code, how could you not remember that?!"
Rigby slid off the couch and onto the floor, tiredly yawning and sprawling out. "I don't even want to go." the raccoon moaned.
"Then why would you agree to a double date?" Mordecai groaned.
"I dunno." Rigby groaned, still taking the situation like a joke.
"Go get your tux. Please."
"Fine." Rigby muttered, giving in a getting up. "I doubt I can find it though."
There was a knocking at the front door, Mordecai nearly springing across the room to it, recollecting himself, and opening the door to reveal the two's dates.
"Hey!" he greeted, stepping aside and welcoming the two girls inside. They both said hello to the blue jay, as well as to Rigby was he quickly ran up the stairs to begin his escapade for formal wear.
"What time are the reservations for?" Margaret asked, taking a seat on the couch and adjusting her stylish golden gown.
"6:30." Mordecai answered, loosening his tie slightly and letting out a sight, "Hopefully Rigby can at least find pants by then." the blue jay said with a laugh.
Eileen giggled, taking a seat next to the robin. She wore a vibrant green that heavily brought out her jade eyes.
Rigby hurried down the stairs, looking up over the railing. "I can't find it!" he complained.
"This is why you can't try to throw everything together last minute; you've known about this for like a week! We made plans the day after the camping trip!" Mordecai scolded, Rigby's ear dropping down.
"What's he looking for?" Eileen questioned, looking up over the couch.
"His tuxedo." the bird groaned.
"Getting spiffy tonight, are we?" Margaret asked the raccoon.
"Doubtful." Rigby responded.
"Go check again, please." the blue jay pleaded, "And if you can't find it just get some nice dress pants and a polo shirt- I don't care so long as you do it QUICKLY."
"I can help, if you want." Eileen offered, Rigby raising an eye at her.
"Sure." the raccoon said, running back up the stairs to his room, Eileen slowly following behind. He really didn't care about who he got help from at this point; anything to get Mordecai to stop nagging at him.
Margaret giggled, Mordecai just taking a deep breath. The robin got up, walking over to the other bird and placing her hands on his shoulders.
"Loosen up." Margaret giggled. "It'll be fine."
"I just want everything to be perfect." Mordecai sighed.
"It already is." the robin ensured, giving the blue jay a quick kiss on the mouth.
"I don't really know where to start looking so-..." Rigby said to Eileen as he dug through the closet in search for his clothes. The mole humbly walked into the room, looking around. She'd seldom been in this room, everything so unfamiliar.
The mole began her search underneath Mordecai's bed, finding nothing but dirt and dust, standing back up and wiping anything her dress had collected off.
"Where did you see it last?"
"As if I know." Rigby snorted, throwing shirts and pants from out of the closet left and right, "The last time I actually had to wear them was to help Muscle Man on his date with Starla."
"Well that really helps..." Eileen mumbled to herself.
Eileen continued her adventurous expedition through the mounds of trash in the filth infested room, all in search of suitable attire for the raccoon. The bedroom seemingly grew more and more dirty as you traveled further into the side that you'd assume to be Rigby's. The raccoon's trampoline could hardly be seen under the mountain of clothes that Eileen had never even seen either of the males wear before.
The mole began to dig through the pile of mostly novelty T-shirts that ranged from video games, to TV shows, to crude humor. She rolled her eyes at some, giving a small giggle to others, folding all the shirts she dug out neatly in a pile to the side.
Rigby was quite the opposite, throwing anything in his way out of the closet and behind him into the bedroom; though Eileen highly doubted that it would be any neater in the closet than it was out on the floor. Rigby was just honestly taking a mess and moving it somewhere else at this point, no harm done.
Eventually to Eileen's surprise, she came across a bruised and beaten composition notebook that carried back memories from her long forgotten school days. The book bearing the same black and white organic pattern on its covers.
No name, subject, or grade appeared to be written on the front. Even so, it was excruciatingly obvious that the book had been used many times before, or was at least fairly old to some extent.
The pencil that had been burrowed within the spine of the book to separate and mark the pages rolled out as Eileen opened to the pages it had been trapped between. The pencil hit the floor, breaking the silence between the two mammals. Rigby's ears perked up, and his froze with wide eyes.
"Times you've thought about what?" Eileen questioned, studying the page intently; only leaving her more blind as Rigby charged at her, pouncing, then tackling her to the floor.
"DON'T READ MY STUFF!" Rigby screamed with tears burning in his eyes, voice hoarse with rage. He gripped the book tightly, tearing it from her hands with all his might.
Rigby looked down at the girl beneath him with surprise. She looked neither scared, nor upset, not even angry. Eileen just looked up at the male atop her through broken lenses, blood dribbling from her nose.
Rigby looked at his hand, and the crimson stain smeared across his fur.
"F-fuck! Eileen! I-I'm so sorry. Are you okay?!-" he asked, setting the small girl up which only seemingly worsened her nosebleed.
Rigby couldn't help but look in horror and regret as the blood trickled out of her nose, and ran down to her smiling mouth with goofy overbite. Why was she smiling?
"Perfectly fine." she whispered, reaching her arms out to embrace the raccoon tightly.
Rigby couldn't help but fall apart into her arms right then and there, sobbing loudly and letting out whimpers of pain.
What was he becoming throughout all this? Uncontrollably harming those around him over something as stupid as a notebook. But it wasn't stupid...
Tears continued to stream from Rigby's tired eyes, and his head grew lighter. The voices began screaming in his head, and the same familiar feeling similar to that of anesthesia began to return. Numbness spread throughout Rigby's body to the point that he could barely stand, leading him to succumb to falling to the ground. Eileen dropped down with him, refusing to release her hug.
His head hurt. A lot. And Rigby wanted nothing more than to just lock himself in an isolated room for the rest of his life where he would pray for thoughts to allude him. Although, as he had already found out many times before, there was seemingly no escape, no matter where he went. There was no cure either, and he would feel this daily despair for the rest of his life.
"I don't know what's stopped me from doing it this many times." Rigby muttered.
Eileen just closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, sniffling every now and then through the silence to try and refrain from leaking too much blood.
Rigby picked up the book once more, looking at it over Eileen's shoulder.
He just stared at the tally marks covering the page, and noticed the fresh drop of the mole's blood at the bottom of the page. Rigby felt his arms turn weak as well and his grip on the book eventually became loose, the notebook falling back to the floor.
"Stopped you from doing what?" the mole questioned gently as Rigby returned the embrace, pulling her closer.
The raccoon inhaled deeply, letting out a sigh. "Ending it all."
Rigby felt as one of Eileen's warm tears rolled off her pale cheek, and dripped down onto his muzzle.
The two remained embraced on the floor, holding each other as if they had nothing else to live for in the world.
Not another word was shared, and not another word was needed.
"He's disappearing,
Fading subtly.
I'm so close to being yours.
Won't you stay with me.
Please."
"Near to You" - A Fine Frenzy
Double update. I know, surprising. It's very late right now and I'm very tired, so please forgive any mistakes. I'm a bit disappointed that people would think I'd write a generic fic. xD ... How hurtful. I'd figured I'd worked up enough of a reputation for the weird by now. Apparently not. I'll just try harder I suppose.
Hope you enjoyed! Until next update...