A/N: Decided I'd go ahead and post everything I've got edited to date. Enjoy!

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"RENJI." Rukia's voice almost screamed in his ear, "Why the devil have you been ignoring my calls for weeks? I'm coming over for dinner, so you'd better be home."

The voicemail ended rather abruptly, and Renji sighed. He supposed it was time to move past the moping stage anyway, it's not like he'd actually lost something- he'd never had Byakuya in the first place…

Who was he kidding, that didn't matter. He may have had good intentions, but it was an impossible feat to get the older man out of his head. With nothing other than a few piercing and assessing looks, a few softer expressions and the accidental brushing of their hands as memories, Byakuya seemed more like a man from his dreams that someone he'd actually met. And every time he closed his eyes, there he was. Or, better yet, there was the possible life they could have together.

Was that normal? Meeting someone and immediately mentally picturing a long stretch of life together, years in the future instead of thinking about the now? It had been a while since Renji had been interested in a guy for anything other than a night of pleasure, and the newness of this feeling made everything just that bit more confusing.

He wanted to quit his job. He was done pretending to care about just another multi-million dollar company. Ichigo was one of his best friends, but Ichigo didn't need his help anymore to run the company even though he might think that he did. Renji knew that the only thing Ichigo really needed was someone to keep him from getting distracted.

Renji wanted to get out of the city, out of the stifling competitiveness that seemed to rule the lives of everyone who lived and breathed business and the city. He was done pretending to be happy with this life, done trying to convince himself that he would eventually get where he wanted to be if he stayed 'just a little longer'. He knew that the longer he stayed, the less likely he was to ever leave.

The mountains were calling him. He'd always wanted to find a home buried at the foot of a mountain and spend his days taking care of plants, fishing and hiking. Surprisingly, or not, Renji just wanted a quiet life. He'd been holding out with hopes to find the right person to share it with, but time was about up.

When Rukia knocked on his door, finally giving up on phone calls and arriving to harass him in person, Renji called for her to meet him in the kitchen. He was making teriyaki salmon, one of his favorite meals, and had left the door unlocked. She came in the room with a grim expression on her face and leaned against the door frame, settling there to asses him. A few minutes passed in silence, as she watched him plate the salmon and turn to the table.

"Sit?" he asked, nodding at the chair closest to her.

"You're surprisingly welcoming. I figured you would continue ignoring me."

"I was never ignoring you" Renji sighed, sitting down and beginning to pick at his food, "just taking some time to asses where I'm at in my life."

"You don't look very happy with your assessment." She pointed out, taking a bite from the plate he'd offered her.

"I'm not." The look on Renji's face made Rukia tense, and she grasped for an explanation. When she found it, she wasn't happy.

"You're leaving." She sounded sure, but slightly mollified. "You're leaving soon."

"Two weeks, give or take. I'm going to put in my notice at work tomorrow; I hope Ichigo doesn't make it difficult."

"Of course he will!" Rukia exclaimed, and then took a deep breath in an attempt to regain her composure. "Renji we're not going to want you to go, you can hardly be surprised."

"Can't I? You're living your dream Rukia, that bar has been what you've been working toward since college. Ichigo has enough on his plate to keep him busy for years, and I'm pretty sure he's found the guy he's going to spend his life with. Me? I've been biding my time, overworking myself to save money and live my dream." Renji sighed and shook his head, "It's a simple dream, Rukia. I don't need much."

"But you need people, friends… companionship. You know that's why Ichigo and I have always encouraged you to wait, because we don't want you to go alone."

"I'm sick of waiting." Renji sighed, eyes lifting to connect with those of his longtime friend. "Look at me and tell me you think I shouldn't go. Really look at me. You said yourself I've lost a bit of myself these past few years, and Ichigo kindly informed me that I've gotten 'meek'. The Renji I used to be was not the kind of guy who would never deny himself something he wanted, never afraid to go after something. I feel like a part of me has died while I've been wasting time here."

Rukia closed her eyes, unable to deny that Renji had earned his right to go. He'd long since paid his dues in the city, he'd been saving money for years after college, and Ichigo and Rukia had been the only things keeping him here. Friendship, no matter how strong, only held so much power over a person's choices, and time was up.

A rogue thought sparked in Rukia's head, a thread she decided to follow.

"Why now?"

"Why not now? It's been long enough." Renji pointed out, and though it was true, it was not quite reason enough for Rukia to believe that was all there is to Renji's decision.

"I refuse to believe that you simply 'realized' it was time. Something pushed you, made you think- made you want to leave." Rukia watched Renji's face closely, "That something was my brother."

Renji scowled and opened his mouth to say something that was clearly disagreement, but Rukia cut him off.

"You're at your emotional limit, it's obvious. What happened, Renji?" There was a long silence as Renji glared at her, frustrated. He finally broke eye contact to glare down at his food.

"I lost the only place I had to think clearly." He muttered finally, eyes darting up to meet Rukia's with a challenge. "The one place I used to go in the city to remind myself of why I'm here and where I've always hoped to end up also happens to be the place where I spent a day thinking that, maybe, I could fall in love. I've always liked a challenge, it wouldn't be me if I hadn't set myself some goal that's just out of my reach. But for once I'm not willing to compromise; I'm drawing the line in the sand. I'm sick of giving up the things I want in life for those I love."

"We never asked you to give anything up, Renji." Rukia said softly, afraid to spark some of the anger in him that was obviously hovering just under his surface.

"I know, it's just who I am" He said bitterly, "I can't help myself. I would give the world for the people I love, even if it meant giving up who I am."

Rukia considered him for a long moment, a man she'd known over half of her life, and imagined him living a different life. He was a man who felt deeply, that she'd always known, but he'd hidden other parts of himself from her. Like, for example, that in some ways he blamed them, herself and Ichigo, and that only made him more infuriated with himself.

"Renji." She said sadly, reaching out to touch his hand across the table.

"Don't use that tone," Renji sighed, looking up at her again, obviously ashamed of his outburst. He gestured about the room. "I'm not any different, I'm just burnt out. I need to escape everything here."

"Byakuya's not here anymore." She said softly, hoping that wouldn't upset him. When his kept his eyes firmly rooted on something over her shoulder, she continued. "He left that next Monday for his home in the country. He lives there alone too you know, in a giant estate he won't leave."

Renji shrugged, "Why bother telling me, he made it pretty clear he doesn't think we have a very good chance together. I don't think he was interested."

"If you have problems," Rukia almost laughed, she couldn't help it, "Byakuya's got them tenfold."

"Why try and set up two such troubled people then Rukia?" Renji asked sharply, "We are clearly destined to crash and burn if after one date we both run away from each other."

"It's not a bad thing to be uncomfortable with how someone makes you feel." Rukia spoke slowly and quietly, afraid to spark any more anger him. "And it's not strange to run away from that at first. I know my brother more or less lives in fear of falling in love again, in fear of sharing his life with someone. It's hard to say goodbye to those you love, and once you've had a taste of that pain it's even more difficult to open yourself up again."

"I told myself that I won't push him." Renji spoke after a short silence, his gaze returning to the wall over Rukia's shoulder. "I don't want to have to talk a man into loving me. If I have to market myself to someone, how can I believe that they truly want me and didn't just cave in to persistence?"

"Renji, all love is work and persistence. Nothing comes without a struggle, and often the best things are the things you have to fight the hardest for. If you don't want to fight? Fine, but then don't blame it on lack of interest on my brother's side, but rather a blasé attitude on yours."

Renji's eyes found hers "I think that's an unnecessarily harsh perspective, don't you? Nothing is quite so black and white."

"Maybe, but I believe it's true," She shrugged. "I only brought it up because if you want to leave, you should go visit him first. You never know what could happen." Rukia smiled as her business-owner brain forged the argument; she felt like she was closing a deal. "I tell you what: if you go tomorrow to see Byakuya, I'll talk to Ichigo for you."

Renji eyed Rukia speculatively, no emotions visible on his face other than a touch of wonder.

"I feel like you came here and turned everything around on me." Renji marveled while suspiciously assessing Rukia's face.

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about." Her eyes glittered with mischief and Renji found it impossible to be mad at her. Maybe she was right, maybe he'd just had the wrong approach.

No one was going to fight for him if he wasn't willing to fight for himself, that he already knew. If he thought that Byakuya might be right for him, shouldn't his personal happiness be worth fighting for?

A touch of an alternate perspective was a startlingly effective way to alter his outlook.

"Okay, I'll go to his place tomorrow. But yesterday I found the perfect cottage, and I plan to go there if everything goes to hell in a hand basket."

Rukia laughed at Renji's wry expression, noting the strain around his eyes.

"Renji, you're got more strength and resolve than most people I know. You'll do just fine."

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A/N: That's all for today folks. Reviews make me smileee