Total Drama World Tour
Disclaimer:The rights of Total Drama Island belong to its distributors; Teletoon, Cartoon Network, Fresh TV, and Cake Entertainment. The characters of Chris McLean and Chef Hatchet belong to the aforementioned companies. However, the original twenty-two contestants that appear in this story belong to their creators, who are submitted by the readers.
The song which is parodied in this chapter, "All I Want For Christmas Is You" belongs to Mariah Carey.
This fan fiction is rated T for moderate language, mild violence, and mild sexual themes. You have been warned.
Thank you all for the positive reviews, once again! It seems that the fan favorites are Xavier, Walter, and Viktoriya. But don't tell me how good the inventor and Russian are, tell their creators!
Most of you seemed shocked by Xena's elimination. I thought I made it kind of obvious, but I guess I'm just that good. :D
I received an anonymous review that he/she was so offended with Xavier, that they would stop reading... upsetting, but understandable. The character was supposed to be an exaggeration. Thoughts on me being too much with him?
Author's Note: I would like to thank Jamie am I for giving me various tips on spelling and grammar, as well as helping me with the song in this chapter. Make sure to give him a thanks, too!
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Super Happy Crazy Fun Time Japan
(Narrated by Chris McLean).
Last time on Total Drama World Tour...
Egypt - land of pyramids, land of hot, land of sweaty.
Our contestants had loads of fun on the run in the sun.
And they still managed to find time to...
Run after goats...
Punch each other...
Swim in the Nile...
Chat with a camel...
Fight of hungry crocodiles...
And shoot a duck... Oh wait, that was me.
Showing style on the Nile, Team Incredible Me managed to pull out a win and they are now enjoying first class!
Team Equality now has an equal number of team mates after they sent Xena home for knowing a little too much...
Which is good! We can't have any mind readers on the show, they'd cause too much trouble.
This week, who's going to sing? Who's going to dance? Who's going to sell out their friends for a chance at one million dollars?
Welcome to Total... Drama... Woooorld Tooooour!
(Narration by Chris McLean ends).
Theme Song Is Played.
(In the Jumbo Jet, First Class)
Xavier was relaxing on a table getting a back massage. He let out a deep sigh as the masseuse rubbed his sore sides. It had been a long night in first class for him; he had had a gormet dinner, watched a little television, and now this.
"A little more to the left," he ordered her.
Jerome was still sleeping in his seat, snoring loudly. Xavier picked up his shoe and threw it at him. He did not wake up. Xavier shrugged and went on back to his massage.
On the other side of the room, Aidan and Daniel were having a conversation.
"Wait," Aidan asked, very interested, "so you had him in a headlock, he tried to kick you, and you body slammed him?"
Daniel nodded, grinning wildly. "Sure did."
"I guess you have a lot of courage and strength."
"Hell yeah!"
Aidan sighed, then rested his face on his hand. "I wish I had enough courage and strength to talk to Deylanie."
The fighter put his arm around his friend's shoulder. "Tell you what, dude. How about we head to economy and I'll help you out? It'll give me a chance to stretch my legs anyway."
"Sounds good."
Both boys got up and headed for the door that led to the economy section. They passed Emma and Holly, who were getting their nails done.
"I am so enjoying first class," Holly smiled.
"Me too," Emma agreed "I haven't been on it in years."
"You've been in it before?"
Emma nodded. "My dad would take me and my family to Italy every year."
A faint "my family and I" was heard, but Emma decided to ignore it.
"... And we would fly there - first class!"
"Was it anything like this?" Holly asked, intrigued.
"Kind of," Emma informed her, "but there were a lot of other people, so there wasn't as much room."
After a moment of silence, Emma looked Holly in the eye and spoke. "I need to ask you something important."
Holly nodded.
"Do you want to make it far in this game?"
Another nod of the head.
"Well, then I have a proposition for you."
"What's that?"
Emma took a deep breath. "I want to form an alliance with you... and Zane."
"Huh?"
"I already have a cross-team alliance with Zane," she continued, "but I also need someone on my team to help me when we have to vote."
"Are you kidding?" Holly laughed. "Of course I'll be in an alliance with you!"
Holly reached over and gave Emma a big hug, who looked just as excited to engage in it as Holly did.
Jerome suddenly woke up. He stretched and yawned a big yawn; he then went up to Xavier and slapped him in the back of the head.
The conservative cried out in pain and rubbed the back of his head.
"Dude?" he asked angrily.
"That's for hitting me with a shoe before," he narrowed his eyes.
"I was joking," Xavier insisted.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Jerome rolled his eyes. "Maybe Xavier is joking and he just has a crappy sense of humor."
(In the Jumbo Jet, Economy Class)
Many of those who lost the previous challenge were still asleep; Deylanie, Viktoriya, Zane, and Walter were the only ones awake.
To the surprise of many, Walter and Zane were actually talking with each other, despite their major differences in personality and that they were on different teams.
"So tell me again how you managed to get banned from the Science Expo for fifty years?" Zane asked, laughing.
"Okay, okay," Walter grinned, "so I'm trying my invention, the thing gets all smokey, the fire alarms go off, the sprinkler are everywhere. Next thing I know, this other guy's experiment explodes and half the gym is gone!"
"No way," Zane was cracking up.
Walter nodded. "I'm still serving detention for that one!"
Just then, Daniel and Aidan walked in; the latter was relieved to see that Deylanie was awake. Daniel then winked at Aidan and walked away.
"Hey," Aidan walked over to Deylanie, "what's up?"
"Nothing much, hon," she smiled at him, "just not enjoying economy class. How was first?"
"It's great, you should have come and joined us."
Deylanie touched his thigh. "I would have loved to."
Daniel is in a storage closet, talking into a walkie-talkie. The frequency was being transmitted to an ear-piece in Aidan's ear.
"Now tell her that you hope you lose the next challenge so you can spend the night with her," he whispers.
Back in economy, Aidan repeats exactly what Daniel said. "I hope I lose the next challenge so I can spend the night with you."
Deylanie blushed. "It would be my pleasure," she winked at pleasure.
"Ask her to sit with you in the cafeteria for breakfast," Daniel instructed.
"Do you want to go sit with me for breakfast?" Aidan asked her.
"I would love-" Deylanie began, but she was cut off by Aidan screaming.
"NO!" he yelled. "BAD RAT!"
Inside the broom closet, Daniel was wrestling with a small rodent, who was desperately trying to get the cheese sandwich from Daniel's hand.
"This is my sandwich!" he barked at it.
"This is my sandwich!" Aidan shouted.
The extrovert then felt his earpiece vibrate, meaning it shut off. He frowned, and looked at Deylanie with hope.
"You're funny," she giggled. Then she went to go sit down.
Seconds later, Daniel comes into economy class with scratches and bite marks all over his face and body. His shirt was torn and his snap back was bent.
"What happened back there?" Aidan whined at him.
"A rat attacked me," Daniel said flatly, "how'd it go with Deylanie?"
"She thinks I was hilarious," Aidan smiled.
"Good! See, would I let you down?"
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cafeteria)
All of the contestants had gathered in the cafeteria of the jet, making small talk. The conversations always seemed to drift back to wondering what destination the plane would take them to next. Everyone had their own thoughts.
"I hope we go to Greece," Shaylie said, "they had the first Olympics there."
Georgie nodded. "You know they used to have those totally naked, right? Totally hot."
Everyone gave her a weird look (except for Deylanie, who was grinning wildly).
"I hope it's Australia," Daniel said, hoping to change the subject. "I've always wanted to go inside a kangaroo's pouch."
Lucien thought for a moment. "I want to go to Japan. It's the technological capital of the world! They have great music, too!"
Chris McLean walked in. "Well, congratulations, Lucien, you just ruined the surprise!"
"We're going to Japan?"
"Yes, but I was talking about that little fact you just told," Chris crossed his arms, "I wanted to impress everyone with my knowledge of Japan!"
"Did you google it?"
"... Shut up!"
Chef Hatchet entered the room in a ninja outfit. He was holding katanas in one hand and a plate of sushi in another. He sliced the sushi with his katana, impressing the majority of the contestants.
"I'm just surprised you didn't make him dress like a Japanese school girl," Xavier chuckled.
"Don't give him any ideas!" Chef barked.
Viktoriya paused for a moment. "Chef, wait, if you and Chris are both here, who is flying the plane?"
Chef paused, then his eyes widened in terror, and he sprinted back to the cockpit. The passengers were all terrified until they heard Chef's voice. "I'm back. It's all cool."
Everyone let out sighs of relief.
"So, Japan?" Aria asked.
Deylanie walked over to Aidan and grinned. "We could go out for sushi together," she suggested. "Have you ever had it? Says it is the second-most heavenly thing to have on your lips."
"Oh really?" Aidan asked, happy how close Deylanie was to him. "And the first most thing would be?"
"Someone else's lips, of course."
That was it for poor Aidan. He sat down on the bench and crossed his legs, looking away from Deylanie.
"So, Japan?" he asked quickly.
"Yes!" Chris exclaimed, glad that the attention was back to him. "If you would all follow me to the Drop of Shame?"
(In the Jumbo Jet, Drop of Shame)
The remaining fifteen contestants were gathered by the area of elimination, eagerly awaiting their next challenge.
"So," Jamie asked, "when are we going to land?"
"As soon as you guys get off," Chris grinned. He hopped over to a podium and pulled a lever. Everyone went wide-eyed.
The floor collapsed beneath them. All of the contestants were sucked out of the plane, screaming and flailing, trying to grip something to avoid this fate but no one was strong enough, not even Georgie or Daniel.
Meanwhile above, Chris could barely hold his laughter.
"We're gonna die," Jamie was factually shrieking. "Gonna die from falling to our deaths and impacting on the surface! Mommy!"
Aidan was looking above. "Lord, if you let us live, I promise I will put money in the collection every Sunday!"
"Walter," Shaylie snapped, "do something!"
"What could I do?" Walter cried, very confused.
"Build something to get us out of this, duh!":
"Okay, I'll just conjure some tools out of mid air!"
"That's all I ask!"
"This is the end," Zane wailed. "We're all gonna die from this..."
DING DING!
Everyone was silent, stunned at what they had just heard.
"SERIOUSLY?" Emma shouted. "I MEAN, SERIOUSLY?!"
"SING AND I MIGHT THINK ABOUT SAVING YOUR MUSICAL BUTTS," Chris screamed through a megaphone, "MAYBE YOU'LL TRY HARDER THIS TIME!"
All We Want From Chris Are Some 'Chutes
Parody of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey
Zane: I-I-I don't think it's asking too much
To ensure that we don't die
I just think that this show's ratings
Would be sure to take a dive
Please just listen to us, Chris
All we're asking for is this:
Aidan: It would be a hoot
If you gave us a damn
Parachu-u-ute
Deylanie: I just want a nice, soft landing
To guarantee that no one dies
(And I) Think that I just saw my own life
Flashing right before my eyes
Holly: I don't want to keep on falling
Crash and burn upon my face
Emma: Chris, you'd really make us happy
By tossing parachutes our way!
Chris, c'mon, and help us out
Xavier: Or my lawyers will flush you out
It would be a hoot
If you gave us a damn parachute
'Chute, baby
Lucien: Now we're falling even faster
And the ground is growing near
Jerome: (And I) Only hope that Chris will give us
All some proper landing gear
Give us something for survival:
Walter: A way to defy Newton's laws!
Please, oh please, just help us out, man!
You'd be a regular Santa Claus!
Jamie: A Firebolt, a Cleansweep Five
Whatever gets us out alive!
Anything will do!
Vicktoriya: But Chris, we'd really love to get some parachutes!
All: 'Chutes, baby!
Aria: Getting really close now
And still no 'chutes in sight
And it seems our futures
Aren't looking bright
'Cause Chris McLean's withholding
Some parachutes unfolding!
Georgie: Chrissy, won't you give us the parachutes we need?
Won't you please grant salvation for me?
Daniel: We don't want a lot this season
This is all we're hoping for:
I just want to live to see the
Sun come up tomorrow morn!
Shaylie: Please, just throw us all a bone
Don't let us fall on our own!
Make our wish come true
Baby, all we want from Chris are
Some 'chuuuuuutes!
All: 'Chutes! (Yeah, yeah!)
All we want from Chris are some 'chutes! (Yeah, yeah!)
All we want from Chris are some 'chutes! (Yeah, yeah!)
All we want from Chris are some 'chutes! (Yeah, yeah!)
All we want from Chris are some 'chutes! (Yeah, yeah!)
"That was actually fun," Jamie smiled.
Zane opened his mouth, but then they landed. Luckily, against all odds, and we're seriously talking like lottery winning odds, they landed in a gigantic bowl of rice that was set up as a public advertisement.
The fifteen free-falling teenagers landed safely in the bowl, the rice cushioning their very long and dramatic fall. Chef Hatchet, screaming, plummeted to the side of the bowl and smashed into the ground.
"What happened, Chef?" Jamie cried.
Chef Hatchet shook the rice off of his jacket. "That crazy demon known as Chris shoved me out too!"
"He's a madman!" shouted Zane, as he dusted off his jeans.
"Again, why did we sign up for this show?" Holly asked Aidan, who was upside down in the rice.
Viktoriya rose from the rice, gasping for air. "I am going to kill that tiny man!"
"Count me in, sister!" Jerome punched the palm of his hand.
Aria turned to Chef. "Is he always this insane with the contestants?"
"Really, did none of you watch this show beforehand?" the cook shook his head in confusion.
"If I had, then I probably wouldn't have signed up," Xavier muttered.
(City Streets, Japan)
The cast was walking through the city; then they found themselves swarmed by the civilians, getting pictures with their cell phones and cameras. Deylanie tried to put them off so she could make her way through, but she found herself loving the fame and cameras surrounding her. Soon she was striking all kinds of poses.
"I practiced this at home," she explained to Aidan as she struck a sexy pose of sticking out her chest and butt while winking at the cameras, "because I, like, knew I would be famous one day, and I wanted to be ready."
"No argument here," Aidan said, smiling. He was unable to take his eyes off her, much to the annoyance of some Japanese older women, who were begging him to pose for a photo.
"Why are all the older ones going after me?" Aidan whispered to Lucien, who was signing an autograph for a family.
Lucien finished signing his name and waved to the family; he turned to Aidan and shrugged.
"I don't know, but it's hilarious," he laughed as a woman in her forties ogled the extrovert.
"I can field that one," Chris popped up, "you apparently resemble one of their ancient rulers, Tokugawa Ieyasu."
He pointed to a large building, which had a statue of said ruler. He indeed did resemble Aidan; features and all.
"... Cool?" Aidan was unsure whether he should be flattered or not.
Chris poked Lucien in the chest. "Ha! See? I know a more interesting fact than you!"
Lucien grinned. "The Edo period was period between 1603 and 1868 in Japan."
"... Damn it!"
A lot of young Japanese girls were swarming Zane and Daniel, giggling and squeezing their arms. Both boys were enjoying it, but mostly Zane.
"That's right, ladies," he grinned, "feel my biceps."
"Try and be a little more modest, dude," Daniel whispered to him, "ladies love modesty."
"And why does it matter? They can't understand us."
"What's up with this?" Emma asked Chris as she tried to pose modestly. "Are we really that famous already?"
"Sure are," Chris said, grinning. "Total Drama is a huge hit in Japan! They already like you guys more than the original cast."
"Hey, should we get going to the challenge place?" Georgie asked as she fended off two men with cameras.
"Fine, Japanese party pooper!"
(Japan, Film Studio)
It took a long while to finally get to where Chris was trying to lead them, because the host did not bother to get a map. Also, Deylanie and Zane became preoccupied when a bus of teenagers headed to school passed them; they had all begged the bus driver to stop to let them get autographs.
Finally, they managed to reach what looked like a warehouse. "Final fourteen, who is ready for the next challenge?"
Aidan did a quick head count. "Fourteen? Don't you mean fifteen?"
"Oh... right," Chris frowned, "whatever, numbers aren't my thing. At the beginning of the season, I said there would be eighteen of you. My bad." [1]
"Can we please get on with the challenge?" Georgie complained.
"Fine," Chris rolled his eyes. "Okay, your first challenge is inside a Japanese game show studio. Bow down before...
"Super Human Mega Pinball Smash!"
Walter and Lucien let out cries out delight. "I love Japanese game shows!" the inventor exclaimed, cheering.
"My favorite is Tentacle Mega Escape: Find Suki Utzi!" Lucien nodded. "My favorite part is when you have to shoot the man with the dog bone using a..."
"Plastic noodle!" Walter finished. "Excellent!"
The boys' reminiscent of their favorite shows was interrupted by Chris McLean banging a gong.
"Oh look, my own person 'Geek Gong'," he grinned, "I'm going to need one volunteer from each team to climb into these giant hamster balls. Then, your team mates are going to beat you around the game board, scoring points by bouncing you off bumpers and buttons. The team with the most points wins."
All of the contestants nodded, satisfied. This seemed easy enough.
However, Chris was not done. "And I have a special local surprise for each of you to share your little ball-shaped paradise with. So teams, select a ball guy... or gal. Team Incredible I?"
Before any of them could make a group decision, Jerome spoke aloud. "We choose Xavier."
"Say what now?" Xavier shouted.
"Coolio," Chris grinned, "here's your pinball buddy."
He held up a small and cute baby panda; it had the biggest eyes anyone had ever seen. The host threw him at Xavier, who was begging Chris to have second thoughts.
Xavier managed to catch the panda, only to have it claw at his face and scratch it.
"Team Einstien?"
Viktoriya cracked her knuckles. "Comrades, have no fears. This challenge is mine."
"Are you sure?" Xavier asked her. "Pandas can be really terrifying."
The Russian knew that he was being sarcastic; his teasing was ironic, considering that he was fighting off a panda himself.
"Of course I'm sure," she punched the palm of her hand, "we do this all the time in Old Country."
"HA! I knew you were an immigrant!"
"I was joking."
Chris shrugged and tossed another panda at Viktoriya, who was shockingly able to subdue the creature, much to the annoyance of Xavier.
Aidan was not amused.
"Pandas come from China," he said, crossing his arms. "Just why do you have panda cubs in Japa-"
He was cut off when Chris banged his Geek Gong again.
"Team Equality?" he asked, ignoring Aidan's reason and logic.
Silence.
"Nobody?"
Jamie rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm allergic to pandas."
"Yeah, me too," Aria swallowed.
"It's against my religion," Zane lied.
Georgie sighed. "What the hell, why not?"
Chris laughed. "You might want to reconsider, Georgie. Actually, you can't. What I say is final. Anyway, the 'creature' you must share your pinball with is... Daniel!"
Both of them gasped, extremely embarrassed.
The three balls with their passengers were loaded into the starting area. Chris pulled the plunger back, and then let it fly as the three balls with passengers rolled out onto the game. They all quickly learned just how dizzying it could be to be inside a ball rolling around.
"Oh my God," Xavier was turning greener by the second, "I think I'm going to be-"
He was cut off when the panda started attacking him again.
Viktoriya was having far better luck than her rival was. The panda was actually cuddling her, also pointing out directions for her to run. "Thank you for your help, my furry little friend. Your help is most admirable."
In Georgie and Daniel's ball, the two of them were clinging to each other for dear life. Although Daniel did not know, Georgie was blushing madly the entire time. And although Georgie did not know, Daniel was terrified the entire time.
"I don't want to die like this," Daniel complained, "I'd rather have hit the ground before. Ow! It would be a lot less painful!"
Georgie grinned. "Come on, lighten up."
She smacked his butt, and now Daniel was blushing deeply.
Trying to change the subject, he asked her "So, how many points to do we have?"
The score board read:
Team Einstein - 12000.
Team Incredible Chris - 15000.
Team Equality - 45000.
"How do you guys have so many?" Daniel asked her, confused.
While the balls bounced around, their teammates fiercely pushed the paddles. At the right paddle, Zane was kicking it with his feet, causing it to move rapidly.
"This is a lot easier than I thought," he grinned.
At the middle paddle, Emma frowned and turned to Holly. "We've got to step up."
Her nerdy friend nodded, and the two ran as far as they could from the paddle. Then, they both ran as fast as they could toward the paddle. The impact was hard enough to send Xavier and his panda flying through the air, hitting every target on the way.
The score board read:
Team Einstein - 13500.
Team Incredible Chris - 65000.
Team Equality - 45005.
Eventually, the balls all slipped through the paddles, all four contestants spilling out of them one at a time.
"Oh my god," Xavier muttered, "I think I'm going to-"
Xavier barfed all over his panda, much to his anger. The creature started to attack Xavier again.
Viktoriya was frowning as she walked out of the ball. "I have failed you all," she said sadly.
"That's alright," Walter said reassuringly, "we still have the next challenge."
Last to exit the balls were Daniel and Georige.
"Never," Daniel breathed slowly, "again."
"I had fun," Georgie grinned, smacking his butt again.
"Whoa!" he grabbed his butt in self-defense.
"And I am proud to announce that team Incredible Me wins the challenge!" Chris grinned. "Team Einstien has come in last!"
"Great," Lucien frowned, "now we have to send someone home."
Chris waged his finger. "Now exactly. We still have part two!"
"Which is...?" Lucien asked.
"Going to be announced after the break!" Chris grinned.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cafeteria)
All of the contestants gathered back at the Jumbo Jet for lunch, and after which, Chris instructed them to stay in their seats for the next challenge.
"What break were you talking about?" Shaylie asked confused. "We didn't get a 'break'."
"You kids don't understand TV," Chris dismissed her.
"So what's the next challenge, Chris?" Aria asked, hopeful to relieve the tension
"Hold your horses, Aria," Chris said with a polite chuckle, "we're getting right to that. See, here in Japan, they love their movies and cartoons. And sure enough, this challenge is to make your own commercial for a new product hitting the shelves!"
"Which are...?" Lucien asked.
Chris held up a bag of shrimp with his face on it. "The Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails!"
"'Candy Fish'?" Jamie repeated. "That sounds disgusting."
"I thought you'd be used to putting disgusting things in your mouth, Jamie," the host grinned evilly, "you know, on a count of you being-"
Before Chris could finish his sentence, Jamie pounced on him, covering his mouth. The two wrestled for quite some time before Chris finally shoved him off.
"Okay, okay! I'll shut up!" Chris hissed.
Jamie nodded.
"Now we have three small filming studios nearby, numbered one, two, and three. Team I Is So Incredible goes in one, Einstein in two, Equality in three. You'll have about five hours to finish your commercial, starting when the first team goes into the prop warehouse. Any questions?"
"Do we really have to eat those sweets?" asked Deylanie.
"Is this a real challenge, or a prize filler?" asked Aidan.
"Are the cameras in the filming studios?" asked Emma.
"No questions then," Chris blurted out, grinning. "Very good, you may all start now!"
(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Emma sighed happily. "I've always loved acting, and now I am going to be a STAR! And on international television, too! This is a DREAM come true!"
...
Xavier grinned. "A chance to make a commercial that will be seen by millions? This is a perfect chance to get my point across about how Japan should treat the United States. This is going to go amazing!"
(Prop Warehouse, Team Incredible Chris)
Emma practically dove into the pile of props, emerging with various funny looking things; a roll of duct tape, gingerbread men, a tea set, and what appeared to be the skin of a tiger. She kept diving in excitedly, hoping to find something useful.
"Someone's a little excited," Daniel laughed.
Xavier and Aidan were looking for something they could use. Aidan struck gold when he found a giant monster costume. He held it up in front of Daniel, and said, "This would be perfect for you, man!"
"You want to do a Japanese monster stomping Tokyo movie type commercial?" Xavier raised a brow.
"What, you don't like it?"
The politician shook his head. "No, it's... perfect! It has the right balance of creativity, realism, and Japanese culture!"
Daniel cracked his knuckles. "I think I would make a pretty good monster."
Just then, the other two teams walked in, with Georgie leading the pact.
"I'm sure you are monster in other ways," she grinned, winking at Daniel.
The fighter blinked and turned to Aidan. He whispered to him, "Is she implying what I think she is, dude?"
"You kidding me, bro? She's been hitting on you since last week."
"Really? You think so?"
"I know so."
After the boys exchanged a fist bump, they carried their props and headed out. Aidan and Jerome were carrying various small buildings and towers, Holly was carrying glue and masking tape, Emma was carrying a sparkly pink dress, Daniel was carrying his costume, while Xavier walked out emoy handed.
Team Equality sighed when they got a gander at what was left for them: a set of folding tables, some hair gel, a mirror, and a box of plush kittens.
"What are we going to pull out of here? This is all junk," Zane muttered, kicking a soda can.
"Let's try to have a positive attitude," Jamie pumped his fists.
"Shut up."
Jamie tapped his chin and suddenly his eyes widened. "Guys, I have an idea."
"What is it?"
"I just need that hair gel and box of kittens. I will explain everything in the studio."
That seemed logical enough for Zane, Aria, and Georgie. The four of them grabbed the things and followed the writer out of the room.
After they left, Team Einstein entered with disappointed looks on their faces.
"This does not look good for us," Walter smacked his forehead.
Viktorya was pacing backwards and forwards. "There has to be something we can use here."
Shaylie gasped. "I've got it. We have a bunch of teenagers at lunch at school, and they're all sad. They eat the shrimp and they are happy again."
"It doesn't sound like we have a choice," Lucien shrugged as he lifted up one of the tables.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cafeteria)
After the time limit expired, the teams were escorted back to the jet. Chris had set up the giant TV screen, standing next to it and grinning like a Japanese game show host: by far, way too much.
"Why the hell are you so happy?" Shaylie muttered.
"I am just getting in the spirit," Chris replied, the smug look not leaving his face.
"Whatever floats your boat, man."
"Now if I may say, This is going to be, I think the most interesting challenge yet!" the host spread his arms.
"It's the second place on the show yet," Aria grumbled.
"I meant in Total Drama history," Chris snapped, then smiled again. "Yes, and thanks to monitoring the cameras and angles around here, I have enough footage for drama of the ages! All the fights, heartbreak, and crybabies!"
Chef Hatchet pat his back firmly, telling him to calm down. The host took the signal and sighed.
"Team Incredible Chris, you guys are first. Can I see your video?"
Emma handed him the tape and eagerly skipped back to her seat. She sat down next to Holly, who looked just as excited as her friend did.
Chris entered the tape and pressed play.
(Team Incredible Chris' Commercial)
Giant Daniel Monster stomped through the city, roaring about how angry he was. He knocked down buildings, destroyed cars, kicked over trees, and incinerated numerous Gamestop stores; he had fire in his eyes.
"Rar! That's for giving Daniel Monster five dollars for twenty games! Rar!" he roared.
Behind him, in a tall castle, was Emma, dressed in a sparkly pink dress.
"Oh, help!" she wailed. "Help me! Dear God, he's taken me captive! Won't someone HELP?"
Below, the other four members of the team stood, each with different weapons.
Holding a fake-looking gun, Xavier fired rapidly, in attempt to kill the beast. Sadly, Daniel Monster deflected the bullets and sent them right back to Xavier, killing him.
"Make sure," he coughed, "to vote... looser gun laws."
Jerome had several knives, throwing all seven of them at Daniel Monster's face. His attempts were to no avail, as the Daniel Monster caught the knives and threw them right back at Jerome. He fell to the ground and died.
"Tell me mother," he whispered, "I loved her."
Aidan pulled out a book and started to read: "Twilight, Chapter One," he read. Before he could get any further, the Daniel Monster incinerated Aidan with his fire breath.
"I'm too young to die," he cried.
Only Holly remained. She looked around for any remaining weapons. There were none. With no other options, Holly sighed and took out a bag from behind her back...
They were Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails, none the less!
She threw them into Daniel Monster's mouth, and he fell to the ground. Eventually, he turned back into regular Daniel.
"Thank you," he said.
As the two of them walked off together into the sunset, an angry Emma sat in the tower.
"Hello?" she yelled. "Is anyone going to get me down from here?"
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cafeteria)
"Not bad," Chris clapped. "True to Japanese commercials."
"I agree," Deylanie smiled, "great job!"
She waved over to Aidan and blew a kiss. He caught it and smiled. Georgie winked over at Daniel and he returned the favor. Both boys high fived each other
Chris loudly cleared his throat. "Quiet in the theater! We're screening Team Einstein's now."
(Team Einstein's Commercial)
In what appeared to be just the Economy Class section of the Jumbo Jet, a plain folding table stood. Walter, Viktoriya, Shaylie, Lucien, and Deylanie sat with bored expressions on their faces. Viktoriya looked out the window with tears rolling down her cheek.
"Oh, it is so sad and boring out today," she wailed.
"I don't want to do anything," Lucien frowned.
Deylanie let out a deep sigh. "I wish there was something that we could do!"
"Won't anyone save us?" Shaylie groaned.
Pulling a bag out from his pocket, Walter shouted, "I will save the day!"
Deylanie grabbed Walter's thigh. "Whatever do you mean, Walter?"
He stepped down from his chair and bellowed, "I have Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails!"
Lucien gasped. "Did you say Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails?"
"That's right," Walter nodded, "Total Drama Yum Tum... Tum Brum... Candy Fish Tails!"
The five of them each grabbed a fish tail and threw one into their mouths. It was quite obvious they hated the taste. They all immedietly spit their's out.
"They are quite delicious," Viktoriya said, barfing.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cafeteria)
When the movie ended, the room was filled with the laughter of several people. One was laughing very hard, and we're not going to give you three guesses who that was.
"What was that?" Xavier laughed. "That was the worst thing I've ever seen!"
"Shut up," Lucien folded his arms, "at least we didn't sneak in any politics into ours!"
"Enough jiber-jaber," Chris shouted, "it's time for the final commercial! Team Equality!"
Zane shook his head. "Oh God..."
(Team Equality's Commercial)
Jamie stood in the cockpit of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet. He was dressed like Chris McLean; jacket and all. He even had his hair geled so it was styled just like his. He grinned cheesily, just as the real Chris McLean did.
"As the host of Total Drama," Jamie said, "I know how hard it is to deal with every day life."
The scene changed to the cafeteria, where Jamie walked in to Georgie, scrubbing dishes.
"I want a divorce!" she yelled.
Jamie frowed and sad music plays.
The scene changed to the streets of Japan, where a masked Zane is holding another fake gun.
"Give me all your money!" he shouted.
Jamie showed the robber his empty pockets to show that he was broke. Zane is not amused and shoots Jamie. Sad music played again.
The scene changed yet again to what appears to be a hospital. Aria held a clip board and walks over to Jamie, who is laying down on a bed.
"Your bill is going to be ten thousand dollars," she confirmed.
Again, sad music played.
Back in the cockpit, Jamie held a bag of the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails.
"Now, with Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails, my day can get better!" Jamie exclaimed.
The scene changed back to the cafeteria with Georgie, scrubbing dishes again.
"I want a-" she began.
Jamie popped a fish tail into his mouth.
"Baby!" she grinned and jumped onto Jamie. She wrestled him to the ground, and Jamie gave a thumbs up.
In the streets of Japan again, Zane walks up to Jamie again, holding the same fake gun.
"Give me all your money!"
"How about a fish tail?" Jamie suggested, holding one up.
Zane grabbed a fish tail and ate it. He grew a big smile on his face. "This is delicious!"
Jamie gave another thumbs up.
The scene changed to the hospital again, where this time Jamie sat at a desk with Aria, still dressed like a doctor.
"Your health care will cost you ten thous-" she began.
Jamie ate another fish tail.
"Is free!" Aria yelled, throwing the papers everywhere.
"Buy Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails!" Jamie's voice was heard off screen. "Gets you laid, prevents death, and gives you free health care!"
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cafeteria)
Silence.
For a brief moment, Jamie believed that he had failed. He let it sink in that he was going home and did not have a chance at the million dollars. His hopes were brought up again when the whole room burst into cheering and applause, even from Chef Hatchet and Chris McLean.
"Well, I think we have a clear winner here," Chris grinned.
He turned to Chef, who was not paying much attention. "But I'm not the judge here. Chef?"
Chef Hatchet blinked and scratched the back of his head. "Well, uh, Chris, I think the winner is...
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"... Team Equality!"
Said team of equalness were silent for a brief second before they burst into cheering. Jamie and Zane hugged, before the latter quickly pulled away; Jamie now looked disappointed.
"We also need a loser," Chris beamed at the cook.
"Those guys," Chef immedietly pointed to Team Einstien, much to their shcok. "With their sad people thing. You lose, you're sending someone home tonight!"
"We lost again?" Deylanie cried.
"Actually, we lost last time," Jamie pointed out.
"I mean today's challenge."
"Oh... well, no arguments there."
(In the Jumbo Jet, Drop of Shame)
Chris was standing beside his favorite podium again, holding four disgusting bags of peanuts. The devious grin on his face suggested what the audience and the contestants already knew:
Someone was getting voted off.
"Team Einstein, this is your first loss this season," Chris shook his head, "I'm upset."
"It's only the second challenge," Walter cried.
"Am I wrong?" Chris pointed out.
Walter rolled his eyes.
The host continued. "You must go into the bathroom to find passports. You stamp the passport of whoever you want out of the game. It's simple, really!"
Several minutes later, after Lucien had been the last one to cast his vote, Chris was ready to continue the ceremony.
"I've got four barf bags, each with your name on it," Chris said, "well, except one of you. The following players are safe... Lucien!"
The DJ grabbed his bag of peanuts and was about to eat them, before quickly changing his mind.
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"... Deylanie!"
The flirst caught her symbol of safety and looked disgusted.
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"... Walter!"
The inventor sighed in relief; he didn't even bother to catch his bag.
Chris looked between Shaylie and Viktoriya, both of them looking just as nervous as each other.
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"... Viktoriya!"
The Russian gasped in delight and held her peanut bag close to her. Shaylie was not amused.
"Are you kidding me?" she barked at her team.
"You cost us the challenge," Lucien explained, "you obviously-"
Before he could finish, Shaylie grabbed him by the collar, strapped a parachute on his back, and walked over to the Drop of Shame.
Then she threw him out of the plane.
"Anyone else have anything to say?"
"No, ma'am!"
"Nope."
"Absolutely not!"
Chris shrugged. "Well, a contestant has been eliminated none the less. My work here is done."
(Earlier - In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)
Walter sighed deeply and shook his head. "I really like everyone on my team. I'd hate to see any of them go." He holds up Shaylie's passport. "But the commercial was her idea and we lost because of it."
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Viktoriya frowned. "I failed today. I do not deserve victory." Se held up her own passport. "This is why I vote for myself."
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Shaylie looked furious. "I am not going home today, no sir!" She viciously stamped Viktoriya's passport. "Goodbye, comrade!"
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Lucien shrugged. "Shaylie messed up. We've been butting heads since we first met, and now she's going to go home. Sorry, not sorry!" He held up her passport.
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Deylanie grinned, painting her nails. "Sure, we lost our first challenge, but who cares? I'm pretty sure I'm staying and at least we weren't the first to lose. Anyway, I choose Shaylie. She screwed up." She held up her passport and winked.
(In the Jumbo Jet, Cockpit)
Chris McLean grinned wildly and cracked his knuckles. "Our third episode is now over. Lucien has gone home, but is now somewhere in the skies of Japan. That was quite a risky move by Shaylie. Her team mates could be mad..."
He turned to Chef Hatchet, in the pilot's seat, who was not paying attention to Chris; he was thankfully paying attention to the skies.
"Everyone is a buzz kill today!" Chris frowned.
"I'm trying to not get us killed," Chef Hatchet said.
"Whatever!" Chris waved him off. "Now, where will our next location be? Will Shaylie face consequences for her actions? Will Daniel get a clue about Georgie; will Aidan about Deylanie? And how awesome will my hair look? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Woooorld Tooour!"
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End of Chapter Four/Episode Three.
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[1] - This is a reference to the fact that in the first chapter, I accidentally put "eighteen new contestants" instead of "sixteen". Look back if you don't believe me.
Next Location: Yukon!
Remaining Contestants: Aidan, Aria, Daniel, Deylanie, Emma, Georgie, Holly, James, Jerome, Shaylie, Viktoriya, Walter, Xavier, Zane.
Elimination Order: Xena, Lucien.
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Team Incredible Chris: Aidan, Daniel, Xavier, Holly, Emma, Jerome.
Team Einstein: Walter, Deylanie, Shaylie, Lucien (Eliminated), Viktoriya.
Team Equality: Jamie, Aria, Xena, (Eliminated), Zane, Georgie.
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Author's Note: My apologies to Lucien, his creator, and his fans. But don't worry, although they won't be in the competition, you will see them in Aftermath episodes! This was a LONG chapter, hence why it took a while to get out. Sorry for the wait.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Thanks for the reviews, guys!