I know I said I wasn't going to update for the time being, but this idea popped into my head and refused to go away until I wrote it down. The Muses are cruel indeed...

I don't own Hetalia or its characters.

Chapter 4: Of pirozhki and global warming

Matthew sighed as Alfred ranted and complained. He had flown over for the World Summit and had just settled down in his hotel room when his brother had suddenly barged in, and without a single word of greeting, launched into another tirade about their former guardian being overly cranky and overly sensitive and not answering his calls ever since the accident, which according to America, "was totally not my fault that he had to keep such a lousy cupboard!". "He's been going on about this for one week now..."Matthew muttered softly to himself. He just sat quietly on the sofa, his arms around Kumajirou. He couldn't even catch what America was saying, he was speaking so fast, but Matthew would bet all the Maple syrup in his country that it had to do with the tiff he had with their former caretaker last week. "There's no way I'll be able to get a word in at the rate he's going, eh, Kumajirou?" whispered the personification of Canada to his pet white bear.

"Who?"

"I'm Canada."

Alfred suddenly rounded on his younger brother. "Hey Mattie, ARE YOU LISTENING!" Matthew nearly fell off the seat. Keeping one arm around his pet, he rubbed his left ear ruefully. "Yes Alfred..." he muttered. Alfred crossed his arms. "Good, cause I'm not done yet!" Matthew had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes as Alfred was about to continue his rant when suddenly, the sound of "God Save the Queen" filled the room. Alfred's voice slowly died out, while Matthew picked up his cell and checked the caller ID just in case, and sure enough, it was Arthur. Alfred stared at the cell, and for a tiny fraction of a second, both brothers looked at each other.

Two seconds later, and Alfred was wrestling with Matthew for the phone.

"Get...off...me!" wheezed Canada, as he tried to keep the mobile away from America's hands.

"Come on Mattie!" Alfred pinned his younger brother down while trying to snatch the phone away.

As the phone continued ringing, both brothers continued the epic fight for the phone, while Kumajirou just took a nap in the corner. "Idiots..." muttered the bear.

Eventually, Alfred slammed Matthew to the ground hard. The poor Nation passed out, and Alfred happily claimed his prize. Arthur was still calling, which surprised Alfred. "Usually, Iggy just hangs up after this long..." Alfred shrugged and answered the call.

"Canada, what took you so long!" England's voice was sharp and stern. "I've been ringing you for the past five minutes, and-" Alfred decided to cut the nagging short."Hi Iggy! It's me, the hero! Mattie's a bit busy at the moment, so I'll gladly take the call!" Said Matty was still lying on the ground, seeing stars over his head.

For a moment, there was no reply, only the sound of heavy breathing. Alfred was puzzled and asked, "Hello? Iggy? I said I'll take the message." The only reply he got was a click, and the conversation was over. Alfred sighed and flopped onto the couch. "I can't believe he's still mad at me?" He complained to an otherwise passed out Canada. "I mean, the only things in that basement were books and England's failed cooking!" He ran his hand through his hair, his eyes raised to the ceiling. "Seriously, that guy needs to lighten up!" He glanced down back at his younger brother. "Isn't that right...err...who are you again?"

Matthew's only reply to that was a weak, "I'm...Cana...da."

"Who?"

Too caught up in his righteous fury and demanding justice, Alfred cackled evilly. "I'll show that old man! He can't ignore me forever!" Pushing a button on his phone, Alfred waited for the other side to pick up. After two rings, a few swear words popped out as the owner of the number answered. Alfred's evil grin just spread even wider. "Hey, sorry to tell you this, but there's been a little mistake..." He couldn't wait to see the look on Iggy's face tomorrow.

Arthur snapped his phone shut and seethed. "Bloody git! Will I ever be able to get away from that twat!" It had taken all his will power to keep his anger from bursting forth. He still hadn't forgiven America yet for his little escapade that had brought Arthur much shame. "If he thinks the water's under the bridge, he's sorely mistaken!" Arthur had been planning to ask Canada for his assistance in keeping the sugar-crazy American away from him, but it looks like the only one he could depend on was himself.

The taxi was pulling into the hotel. Getting out, Arthur paid the driver and carried his suitcase of luggage inside. Dressed in a stiff brown suit, a tie and shiny black shoes, he looked every inch a gentleman. But tucked inside the shirt was the Triquetra, the cool metal sticking onto his chest.

After getting his key, Arthur quickly stepped into the elevator. "Just a few floors and I'll be in my nice bed, enjoying a cup of tea and getting a good night's rest." He comforted himself. "I don't have to see that sodding Yank until tomorrow, so I might as well enjoy myself till then. There shouldn't even be any other Nations in this hotel, I specifically requested it!" Arthur's mood was so good that he even started to hum "Yellow Submarine" as the doors of the elevator slowly closed. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed that there was another occupant inside, until a familiar chill started seeping into his joints. Arthur blanched.

"Good evening Kirkland. Are you staying in this hotel as well, da?"

Turning his head to the right slowly, Arthur felt his spirits drop. Standing in the corner of the elevator was none other than Russia. The tall Nation smiled at him, his purple eyes twinkling with delight. Or was it malice? "The hotel I booked had made a mistake, and I had to quickly find another one. It is good coincidence that I met you here. I was worried that I was the only one. Toris, Raivis and Eduord are all staying somewhere else, and I thought that I might have to eat dinner alone. I do miss Toris's pirozhki..." Arthur gulped and tried to suppress the shiver that ran down his spine at the thought of having Russia as his roommate.

Meanwhile, in a hotel a few streets away, Romano glowered at his new room. "Damn that American bastard, giving me the wrong room! I told him I wanted the room near Spain, damn it!" Stomping in, he threw his luggage onto the bed and grumbled "Why was it is important for me to take this damn room anyway!" Too busy complaining, Romano failed to notice the torn up card in the wastepaper basket with the name "Reserved for Ivan Braginski" written on it...

Drawing himself up as best as he can, Arthur tried to reply firmly "Unfortunately Russia, I am very tired, and I don't think I will be able to join you tonight. The flight was really bad, and I'm jet lagged. I really do need my rest for tomorrow." He threw in a fake yawn, for good measure.

Russia just sighed. "I see...it is unfortunate then. I was hoping to share some stories with you about my home country and how it is doing." The platinum blonde giant sounded very upset. Arthur was flicking his eyes fretfully from Russia to the door. "Come on, come one...just a few more floors..."

Suddenly, Russia put his hand on his shoulder. "How about breakfast, da? We could order it from my room tomorrow morning." The nation's voice was friendly, but his grip on England was so tight that it started to hurt. Arthur felt himself tense up. He was no coward, and he could hold his ground with his sharp tongue if he had to, but Russia was a different story. Not that he feared Russia, but being around the unstable man was dangerous. Unpredictable. Not safe. Even if you are a Nation.

The elevator let out a chime and the doors slid open. Arthur immediately shot out without a second glance behind, blabbering to Russia "oh-look-its-my-floor-well-it-was-nice-to-meet-you-again-see-you-tommorow-have-a-good-night-and-hope-you-sleep-well-good-bye" as fast as he could, before dashing down the hallway. Turning a corner, he found his room, fumbled for the key, opened the door, rushed in and slammed it shut.

Arthur let out the breath that he didn't even know he had been holding in since Russia had touched him. "Just...fucking...great!" Snarling, he tossed his suitcase onto the floor and slumped against the door. Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore the throbbing headache that came as a result of lack of sleep and stress from all the events of the past few days. He put his face into his hands. "Damn it..."

A few minutes later and Arthur was dressed in his pyjamas, sipping a cup of tea. Spread out on the table was his points for his presentation on global warming for tomorrow night. "Alright!" he thought determinedly to himself. "In pain or not, I've got a job to do, and I'll bloody do it well!" Trying to force the ache away, he picked up his pen and was about to go through his notes one more time when a knock on the door interrupted him. Arthur felt his fingers twitch in annoyance as he reluctantly got up to check who it was.

Peering through the peephole, he felt relieved. "Just the bellboy." Unlocking the door, he opened it. "What can I do for you, lad?" he asked. The boy looked positively terrified, and his hands were shaking as he held up a letter. ", sir, th-th-the gentleman next door asked me to-to-to send this to y-y-you," he stammered. Arthur looked at the letter curiously and reached for it. However, his fingers tingled at the odd coldness of the piece of paper. Arthur yanked his hand backwards and stared at the letter with growing dread. "No...it can't be...I requested..." he thought hopelessly to himself. But there was no mistake. Scared hotel staff + freezing cold letter + Russia in the elevator + "gentlemen" next door could only mean one thing...

"Hello again, Kirkland."

Arthur felt his goosebumps raise as none other than Russia came out of the room adjacent to his, plastic smile still in place. The bellboy whispered something along the lines of no tips required, and did a 180 out of the place, leaving poor Arthur to deal with the giant man.

"I did not know that we are neighbours, Kirkland. Such good fortune, da?"

"Y-yes, it is." Arthur was secretly screaming in his head, swearing in such colourful language that he could've given South Italy a run for his money.

Russia just grinned back, but far from relaxing Arthur, it just caused his heart to go into hyperdrive.

"I asked the boy to send you my invitation for lunch tomorrow, but when I heard your voice outside, I thought that it'd be more polite if I came out and asked you myself."

Arthur gulped.

"Th-There's no need Russia. I...I already promised Canada I'd go with him for lunch!" Lying through his teeth, he prayed that after this Russia would just go back to his room and not bother him for the night.

"Ah, really? Then, would you mind if I accompanied the two of you?"

"Umm, I, I don't know, I'll have to ask Canada, it was a reservation after all, and-"

"I'm sure management would have enough place for one more."

"It's a really famous restaurant; it's always booked out..."

"Then we can go to another one. There are plenty of good places to eat here, da?"

Arthur felt a spark of impatience overcome his usual wariness of Russia. Planting his hands on his sides, he told Russia firmly, "I'm sorry Russia, but Canada and I have long been planning this, and it would be unfair to Canada if we have to cancel this reservation." He turned to go back into his room, making a point to not only lock, but barricade the door once he was away from the crazy commie.

For the second time that day, a hand slammed down on his shoulder. Whirling around, Arthur was about to snap something when he saw the grin slid off Russia's face like cold meat on a slab. The Russian man's eyes gleamed crazily as a black aura of doom spread around him, and Arthur paled visibly when he heard the other Nation start chanting.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol..."

Thirty minutes later and still nursing his migraine, Arthur found himself having dinner with Russia. Or more like Russia was cheerfully having dinner, while Arthur sat on the chair looking utterly depressed. "For the love of God, someone kill me now..." Rubbing his forehead, he took a sip of water. "I just can't catch a break, can I?" he pondered miserably.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat, Kirkland? You do not look very well." Arthur looked up immediately, his thoughts interrupted by the Russian's concerned voice. "Oh no, I'm just, perfectly, peachy! Nothing that sleep won't cure." He forced out a laugh, hoping Russia wouldn't notice how forced his words were, or the vein that was throbbing on his head, or the smile that had actually been a grimace just two seconds ago...

Russia tilted his head curiously at him, before smiling and returning to his meal. "That's good. It would not do for you to fall ill, Kirkland. I heard that you will be presenting something on the environment, da?" Arthur nodded reluctantly. "Yes. Research done by my scientist has shown that the carbon footprint can actually be reduced by 20% if just a few extra measures were taken..."

30 minutes later, and Arthur was shocked that he was enjoying his conversation with Russia. The giant showed that he, unlike 80% of the Nations, actually did pay attention during the previous World Summit meetings that they had. Displaying well-rounded knowledge and cool logic, Russia and Arthur had debated and discussed his findings with comparison with what Russia's own people had discovered, filling up some of the gaps that the British scientist had failed to cover, while correcting some of the conclusions that the Russians had made. Arthur observed Russia carefully as the Nation took a sip of wine. He had always thought that the great Northern country was nothing more than a brute that relied on force and threats to get his way. "You can't really judge a book by its cover." He realised. To think of Russia as an uncivilized lout was actually a foolish thing to do. Arthur sometimes forgot that Russia was a Nation that was almost as old as he was, and thus was not only experienced in matters of war, but civil matters as well. True, that did not diminish the fact that if Ivan Braginski so wished it, he could snap your neck in half, but it did give Arthur reason to reconsider his opinion of him.

Arthur failed to stifle a real yawn this time. Russia chuckled. "Ah, you must be tired, Kirkland. Perhaps it is time for bed, da?" Finishing his drink, Russia called for the paycheck. Arthur was already starting to go drowsy. These days, he required more sleep than usual. His daily amount of naps had doubled, but he still felt equally as exhausted. It was embarrassing really, as Russia helped him up to his room. He was sleeping so much these days, just like... "Just like a cat." He shuddered.

When they finally reached the room, Arthur mumbled to Russia. "It's alright now, Russia, I'm fine." His fingers fumbled for the doorknob. Wishing the other Nation a good night, he pushed open the door, anxious to slip back into his pyjamas. However, at that moment...

"O! say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming..."

Arthur switched off his phone immediately and threw it against the wall. Before it even hit, his room phone started ringing as well. Arthur responded by disconnecting the phone. Barely a second later, a bright light flared out from the window. Arthur peeked through his fingers and felt his temper starting to boil at the sight of the helicopter spotlight on his room.

"America..." He was so going to tear him to bits.

Stalking over, he snatched his mobile up and mashed the buttons. The phone was answered almost immediately. "What. Do. You. Want!" he hissed angrily.

"Hi Iggy! Just give me a moment, I'll tell the heli to go away..." Alfred's annoying voice grated on Arthur's nerves. He tried to take deep breaths. "Keep yourself calm, old boy, you can do it, steady, steady...just count to ten, it'll be fine..."

America's glee filled voice cut through his mantra. "How're you enjoying your stay so far? Had any...surprises?" Arthur furrowed his brow in confusion. "Surprises? What are you talking about America?" He snapped back. All he heard from the other end was a chuckle. "Well...seeing as you were being so mean to me for the whole of last week...("One, Two, Three, Four, Five...breath...breath...") I thought that I should teach you a lesson or two ("Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten...breath...breath...") so I put you and that crazy commie in the same hotel!"

A deadly silence filled the room, while Alfred continued boasting on the other side of the phone. "I also thought of putting Feliks in the next room, but I couldn't get him to leave Toris. But I did manage to get France to agree to come and visit you in..." There was a pause as Alfred went to check his watch. "...five minutes. The staff are under orders from me to let him into your room, so there's no point in locking the door..."

No words would describe how Arthur Kirkland was feeling at this moment. (The author won't even try =P)

"...and I hope that next time you'll think twice before going against a hero, and-"

With a scream of rage and fury, Arthur grabbed the phone and smashed it repeatedly against the wall, punctuating each blow with a shriek. "THAT! INSOLENT! UNGRATEFUL! PIG-HEADED! IDIOTIC! FUC-!"

Midway between the last word, Arthur suddenly remembered what Wales had told him. "Just make sure you keep your mind clear, and reign in that temper of yours..."

Too late.

As pain shot through his body, he collapsed on the ground. The phone clattered against the floor next to him. Moaning in agony, he curled his fingers as the claws broke through yet again. Gritting his teeth till he felt blood on his tongue where his fangs had elongated and pierced. Bracing himself as his ears forcefully morphed from one shape to another. And finally letting out a yell of pain as his tail tore through his body.

Shaking with anger and hurt after the transformation, he felt his claws extend. The desire to scratch out the boy's eyes was overwhelming him. Panting, he tried to calm himself down. "I've got to clear my mind...recast the spell...before the frog gets here..."

"You are definitely not well, Kirkland."

Eyes widening in horror, Arthur slowly faced upwards towards that childish tone, and his cat green eyes met with piercing amethyst ones. The door was closed, but the Russian was still there, and his creepy smile was growing wider and wider. "You are quite adorable, da?"

Yes, Russia has found out England's secret in just day one! How will England manage for the remainder of his stay in the USA? Find out...

...in one month's time. MOOJAJAJAJA. *evil laugh*