Chapter Four

Chasing Amy

Palmer Park Mall was THE place to go for Judea High School students. Well, it was the ONLY place you could go without driving because the LANTA bus system was so incredibly confusing. It was seven miles from Nazareth, in Easton, and to get there you took the bus labeled S.

Palmer Park Mall was two floors, rather large but not anything to write home about. Amy, Jesus, Mary and I had plans to go see a new film called The Butterfly Effect, but we arrived early and decided to get something to eat. We stopped at a Chinese food place on the first floor. It was called China Moon. We approached the front desk and a young Asian girl of around our age took our order.

"Mia?" Jesus asked. I stared at him blankly. "Mia Yan?"

"Jesus bar-Joseph?" she said back.

"You're in my math class," he said. She smiled.

"I wasn't sure anyone noticed," she laughed.

"Everyone did," he replied. She grinned and asked what we would like.

"A pint of lobster fried rice," said Mary.

"A pint of vegetable fried rice," decided Amy.

"Two eggrolls," chose Jesus.

"Sweet and sour pork," I decided.

"I thought you didn't eat pork," Amy said.

"Oh, my family's not very Orthodox, we eat bacon for breakfast every day..." I explained. "You know, my father applied for a job at this one law firm, and, the lady who was interviewing him, she was really, really huge-fat, was going on about how she defended this food packaging plant, right?" The other nodded to show their attention. "And, well, she's saying," I did a really annoying voice, "'They were going to give me free samples, but, oh, I couldn't eat the bacon. I can't eat pork or shellfish, I just can't. And I don't eat meat out.' And my father is standing there like, 'Who cares?' and she keeps talking about it, right, and just on and on, and then two weeks later my dad finds out he didn't get the job, right? And it was that lady who called him, and he said, 'We know you ate the bacon. How else did you get so fat?' And hung up!"

"That's really mean, Judas!" Amy chided. Jesus nodded.

"Yeah, that's what my mom said. I thought it was pretty funny, though. My dad said he didn't want to work there anyway, he'd have to have a lock on his refrigerator so she couldn't get to it."

"So, anyway, what are you reading for Head's book report?" asked Mary. Jesus' eyes lit up. He shuffled into his backpack and proudly displayed three paperback books. I read off the titles.

"Beyond Good and Evil? Twilight of the Idols? Thus Spoke Zar...?"

"Zarathustra," Jesus finished, "Friedrich Nietzsche! The man was a genius."

"Jesus, somehow I'd think you to be the last man reading Nietzsche," I replied.

"Oh? Why? Must you agree with someone to believe they are a genius?"

I shrugged. Always with the philosophical comments.

"I heard on Cram that he had a big moustache," put in Amy.

"Yes, he did," said Jesus, "But only later on, really. The fact is, I can't decide. On which book to do the report on."

"Go with Beyond Good and Evil," I suggested, "That's what Kevin Kline's character was reading in A Fish Called Wanda."

"I will take your advice, Judas, thank you."

"Anytime."

"Wasn't Nietzsche a Nazi?" came a condescending, nasal voice.

"Three guesses and the first two don't count," I said, turning around towards the direction of the voice. It was Julia and Aggie Blair, aka the Blair Bitch Project.

"Oh, what-was-that, Judas the Jew?" said Julia.

"Tell me something I don't know. Why are you even here, anyway? Don't you have some prostitute party to be at?" I said coldly.

"If Nietzsche were a Nazi, why would Jesus be reading him?" spoke up Mary.

"Because you're STOO-pid!" said Aggie, tapping on Jesus' head with her finger, attempting to provoke him.

"Nietzsche was not," Jesus said simply, "And, if I may speak bluntly, it shows a lack of intelligence to, one, assume something because someone told you it, and, two, to harass people for no reason. Nietzsche, although very opposed to organized religion, as is obvious in his writings, felt that race hatred was, to quote, 'scabies of the heart.' Anti-Semites in particular he did not think highly of in the least. It was his sister, Elizabeth Förster-Nietzsche, who republished his writings with her own interpretations, which later became synonymous with the Nazi movement."

Julia and Aggie simply looked at each other. Julia swatted at me and they left in a huff.

"Wow, how'd you know all that?" Mary asked.

"Pays to read a lot..." He replied, shrugging. At that point, the food came and we dug in.

By the end of the date, I was sure that I had won - Amy would be my girlfriend definitely!