AN: Alilypea rocks as Beta, just sayin'. I don't own Mass Effect either...but that makes me sad.

Shepard stumbled in to her quarters, the weight of her exhaustion hitting her. Looking down at the white stains of stale sweat on her under armor she decided that a shower really couldn't wait until morning. Turning the water on to give it a chance to heat up she started to peel the tight fitting clothing off. Stepping into the hot water Shepard let the water drum a comfortable rhythm on her back, even though she had been "awake" for a few months now the C5X implants still gave her an uncomfortable tight feeling down her back. Shepard felt a pool of heat rest between her legs at the thought of Joker running his finger down her spine, it had been so gentle but it had certainly awakened her libido.

Shepard thought about her comment to Joker earlier, when was the last time someone who wasn't a doctor touched her? She tried to think, realizing that it was Kaiden and if you counted the two years that she had been dead that made for one hell of a dry spell. Unless she could get some courage up to talk to Joker it looked like it was going to last awhile longer too. Sighing Shepard shut off the water and reached for her bathrobe, deciding that she had enough excitement for one day she headed out of the bathroom and towards the comfort of her bed shuffling the pillows she carefully laid down, minding the sore spot on her back. Tomorrow she would talk with the good doctors about Joker's surgery and look into what kind of downtime there would be, maybe they could dry dock at Omega and give the crew some shore leave. Closing her eyes Shepard laid back into the soft pillows and closed her eyes, she could wait for tomorrow.

"Commander," EDI's blue orb appeared in the corner of her room. "Joker requests entry into your quarters."

Sitting up quickly Shepard tightly tied the belt of her robe around her waist, "just a second EDI…"

Walking over to the door Shepard steadied herself, why would Joker come up to her room? He had never come up here before. Pressing the release the door slid open to reveal Joker with a look in his eyes that Shepard had never seen before, it burned like a fire.

"Joker, what are you-" She was cut off by a pair of lips pressing hard against her own. She felt his weight pushing her backwards until she was pressed against the cool glass of the fish tanks. A gasp escaped her lips as a she felt him slowly untying the belt that held her robe closed and he took the advantage and slid his tongue against her bottom lip into her mouth, asking without words to deepen the kiss.

Taking only a second to regain her focus Shepard pressed back with her own tongue, gently biting down on his bottom lip. A shudder escaped her as he moved his mouth to her neck, his lips placing hot wet kisses followed by light scrapes of his teeth.

"Shit Jeff don't stop," She squeezed his arms and a growl escaped his throat. Reaching a hand into her robe he cupped her breast, a thumb brushing over the erect nipple it found. Shepard reached down to pull his shirt out of his pants, making quick work of the button and fly of his uniform she slid her hand down to wrap around his length.

"Commander," he groaned into her neck

Shepard bolted up in her bed, momentarily confused.

"Commander," the voice came again looking around her room and finding herself alone she arched an eyebrow.

"Jeff?" Shepard looked into the dark room. "Where are you?"

"I'm Jeff now?" There was a chuckle, "I'm in the cockpit, where I always am. I'm on the intercom, just wanted to let you know that the Illusive man wants to talk to you. I have him set up on the vid-com in the briefing room."

Shit, it was a dream.

"Ok Joker, I'm up and moving." Shepard started looking in her closet for something to wear, settling on a pair of casual black linen pants and a black tank top to go along with it. Quickly tossing her hair up in a ponytail she heard Joker's voice again.

"Damn, demoted back to Joker eh? I was Jeff a second ago."

"I thought you preferred Joker?" Shepard directed the question to EDIs blue orb.

"I do," Joker paused "but I don't mind if you call me Jeff."

Shepard smiled, "I think I'll stick with Joker, it suits you. Besides you never call me Kai."

"I wasn't aware I was allowed too," she could tell by his tone that he was smiling.

"You can call me whatever you want Joker." Shepard pressed the green holo pad to open her door.

"Sure thing Sugar Lips," Joker was all out laughing now.

"Anything but that," Shepard chuckled, "off to speak to the Illusive man now, I'll swing by when I know what the high and mighty prick wants."

Shepard nodded her greeting to Mordin on her way into the briefing room pressing the button to open the communication signal. Within seconds the Illusive man appeared before her, sitting in his chair and taking a long drag off of his cigarette.

"Shepard. I think we have them! Horizon- one of our colonies in the Terminus system just went silent. If it isn't under attack it soon will be. Has Mordin delivered the counter measures for the seeker swarms?"

"Not yet," Shepard crossed her arms.

"Let's hope he works well under pressure. There's something else you should know," he paused to take another drag off of his cigarette "one of you former crew, Kaiden Alenko - he's stationed on Horizon."

"Last I heard Kaiden was Alliance. Why is he out in the Terminus systems?"

"Officially, it's an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies. But they're up to something and if they sent Alenko it must be big. Perhaps you should take it up with him?"

"Send the coordinates and we'll head straight there." Shepard turned to leave.

"Already sent, this is the most warning we've ever had Shepard. Good luck." The Illusive man's communication cut off.

After making a quick stop in with Mordin to make sure that the counter measure was done she headed towards to cockpit to let Joker in on the days plan.

"Hey," Shepard leaned against the wall behind Joker's chair. "Can you set a course for Horizon?"

"Sure thing Commander," Joker imported the coordinates from the Illusive man and spun his chair around to face Shepard, "you look nice, it's nice to see you in something other than armor."

Shepard dropped her chin to her chest, trying to hide her blush.

"That shade of red suits you too," Joker laughed, "you do look pretty, and jeeze Shepard since when do you blush?"

"Well it's not like I get a lot of male attention Joker," Shepard looked up when she felt the heat leave her face, trying and failing to give Joker a stern look at his grin. "Kaiden was the last guy that even looked at me."

Joker's smile wavered "Right, Kaiden. I heard he was on Horizon, maybe you guys can have a nice reunion or something." Jokers chair spun around to face the console again.

"Hey," Shepard walked over to his chair, crouching down so she was face level with him. "I thought that you liked Kaiden? Did something happen while I was out?"

"No," Joker shook his head. "I haven't even heard from him since your funeral."

"My what?" Shepard arched her eyebrow.

"Funeral, all the crew got together and we had a funeral for you," Joker looked at her with sad eyes "it pretty much sucked. Kaiden didn't talk at all through the entire thing, Garrus and Wrex were drunk through the entire thing, Tali and Liara cried their eyes out, Admiral Anderson talked about how you were like a daughter to him and he was going to miss you…" Joker trailed off, "and then at the end Kaiden came up to me and told me that if I hadn't been such a stubborn prick I would have evacuated the Normandy when you had placed the order, you would have never had to save me and you would still be alive. Then he just walked off, and like I said I haven't spoken to him since."

"Joker…" Shepard started but was quickly cut off by Joker.

"No, don't," he raised his hand, "don't try and take the blame from me on this, I know it was my fault that you died, and I've lived with that since it happened."

"Sorry I'm just confused." Shepard looked out the window.

"About what?" Joker looked at her.

"When you fired the gigantic gun from the huge fucking Collector ship, because last time I checked I'm pretty sure that's what killed me. Not helping you to an escape pod," she looked down at him with angry eyes. "And Kaiden was being a prick, and I'm sure he forgot to mention that he ran up to me to tell me that you were refusing to leave, and that he had refused to leave as well. I had to shout at him to get him to leave the ship and help the rest of the crew evacuate." Shepard paused for breath. "And me saving you was MY choice, you hear me? MINE. I would do it again too."

"Why?" the question almost knocked Shepard off her feet.

"Joker," She rubbed her face in frustration. "I'm not sure if this is the time for this conversation."

"Then when? Shepard I need to know!" Joker pleaded, grabbing both of her hands in his. "Please."

"Because…because I couldn't bear the thought of a universe that didn't have you in it!" Shepard pulled her hands away, wrapping her arms around herself in a guarded stance. "I'd rather be dead myself and know that you were okay than live knowing that I could have saved you and didn't."

Joker sat in stunned silence, Shepard looked into the green eyes that searched her face. "Kaiden is an asshole Joker, and he had no idea what he was talking about. If anything he was probably just jealous that I was willing to die for you…" Shepard signed. "I have to go and get ready for this mission, if you really want to talk about this it's going to have to wait until I get back from Horizon, I'm not going to let these Colonists get abducted by the Collectors while we sit around and talk about this."

Turning around Shepard walked to the armory, the time for talk was over and she was ready to kick some Collector ass.