Alaia Skyhawk: Here's chapter 4 :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, and this story belongs to my friend Julie, who I'm posting it on behalf of.

~(-)~

Chapter 4: Temptation

It was six months after his arrival in Frithstow, that Merlin attended the wedding of one of the village's young couples. Wanting to prove to himself and to others that he was adapting to life here, he even agreed to dance. Enduring the merciless teasing of his fellow men, about his dancing skills, he followed tradition to dance with the bride as all the village men took a turn doing. But after that he danced only with old widowers, gracious in their age, and the little girls who stood watching their elders with envy. It was all so similar to weddings in Ealdor, but couldn't have been more different than Arthur and Morgana's wedding.

Merlin reflected on that, as he stood off to one side taking a rest from dancing. Back then, people had been more preoccupied with protocol and political alliances than actually having fun. Here, no one seemed to care about what others would think of them. They all enjoyed themselves, and that was it. All except one.

Knowing the last dance was about to be called, Merlin walked over to the one widower he hadn't danced with. Susan had remained at the fringes of the celebration, and he knew that he couldn't let her bury herself in the past forever.

He held out his hand to her, his expression kind.

"From one widower to another... Dancing and having fun won't make the pain go away, but it helps."

She looked up at him, not moving from her seat.

"I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate it, but... it's too soon for me."

"As you wish." Merlin sighed, lowering his hand back to his side. "One last thing though, and I'll leave you be. I didn't have the chance to meet your husband, but like I know my fiancée would have wanted for me, I know that he wouldn't want you to hide away. I know it's hard, but life must go on."

Her response to that was a sigh and a tentative smile, but it was clear she still wasn't going to move from her spot in the shadows. Merlin understood that, and walked away without any further insistence. But he knew she watched him as he led a giggling, freckled girl over to do the last dance of the night.

His efforts at the wedding celebration did as he'd hoped. He garnered much respect for his kindness, and his gentle indulgence of the village children. Not many young men would have spent so long entertaining all those little girls, and their mothers appreciated that he'd been so kind to them. The old widowers were also thankful for his consideration, and thought him gallant and chivalrous also, and the village men thought him strong to have enjoyed himself despite the pain of memories of his dead fiancée. The village boys followed him around, practically worshipping him for being gutsy enough to dance with 'ugly old ladies', and the young men without steady girlfriends were glad he wasn't 'available'. Half the eligible girls in the village were already sighing over him, without also having the other half pursuing him.

In the follow days after the wedding, Merlin had to chuckle at the things he heard from Kalem. Some of the little girls had been loudly declaring that they'd marry Merlin when they were all grown up, and some of the older girls had been remarking on how they thought he and Susan would make a nice match... Now where had they got that idea from? Hadn't he made it clear that he wasn't interested in that kind of thing?

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From that moment on, things ran quite smoothly for Merlin. He worked outside most of the time, which allowed him to keep an eye on his 'protégé'. He'd become quite good friend with both Kalem and Gilli; the former had helped him keep his magic in check, and the latter had been using him as sounding board for his thoughts. Merlin was content in his new life here, and yet a year after leaving Camelot, one thing had been growing stronger.

The familiar itching in his fingertips, along with the urge to feel the words of the Old Tongue flowing past his lips.

Merlin tried his best to keep his mind occupied, in order not to thing about magic. He knew it was addictive, like a drug, and that he started using it again he wouldn't be able to stop. It had been hard stopping the first time... A second time would be too much to bear.

In the end he took to the habit of going on long walks in the forest, using the excuse of the approaching winter and his need to stockpile firewood for it. It was the day of the first snows that his resolve finally broke, at the moment where a flash of movement caught his eye as he picked up a fallen branch, looked up, and saw it.

A unicorn...

A flood of memories washed over him as he fell to his knees, as awed by the creature as he'd been by the first one he'd seen so long ago. Memories of the good times he'd had as Arthur's manservant; laughing with him, bantering with him, watching him fall in love with Gwen... But also memories of how good it had felt, using his magic to protect everyone. Firstly in secret, content but cautious, and then later in the open as Court Sorcerer. Still content and yet wonderfully free.

Those thoughts distracted him, the unicorn gone when he looked up again. But even so, the yearning was too much and he raised a hand to point at his dropped wood.

"Forebearne."

The branched took light immediately, and the warlock moved closer to them to warm up. When he returned to the village two hours later, with a new armful of wood, it was with a grin on his face. And when asked what had made him so cheerful, his answer was as casually simple a lie as he'd used in hiding his magic in the past. One so plain it would be easily believed... He just loved walking out in the first snows of the year.

But the truth was that he'd been so focused on the wrongs that magic had brought him, that he'd forgotten how wonderful it could be.

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Alaia Skyhawk: And I'll stop it there, since I've bridged between one chapter in Julie's notebook, and into the next, and I don't want her 'Author note' included in here to not make sense in context. So here it is.

Note from Julie Winchester: I have a feeling some of you might scream 'ROMANCE!' That would be wrong, since I'd never write a love-at-first-sight fic for my characters. So no, Merlin isn't in love with Susan. He has sympathy for her, and worries about her, because that's his nature. But that's all it is :)

Alaia Skyhawk: And in relation to the above, about what I think of Merlin's interactions with Susan... They are so CUTE! (Huggles Merlin) I love it when our favourite warlock acts like a softy.