Chuck's phone chose that moment to let out a wail and he knew from the tone who was on the other end. He sat silently staring at the emerald embossed hair clip in Nate's hand and listening to Blair's ring tone on his phone and suddenly his mouth was very dry.
" Are you going to get that ?" Nate asked, setting the clip on the foot of the bed and staring at it as if he expected it to get up and do a little dance.
It was a struggle, but Chuck managed to regain his composure and he jerked the phone from his pocket and quickly hit the talk button.
" It's not a good time." He announced into the receiver before she had a chance to say a word.
" I left my clip." She bit off, ignoring him completely. " I think it's on the floor in your room."
" Yes, I already discovered that unfortunate incident and I'm working on rectifying the problem." He told her, Nate was watching him closely now, searching his eyes as he spoke into the phone.
" Oh, God ! Nate's there, isn't he ?"
" Yes, but I'm right in the middle of something at the moment. Can this wait until later ?"
" Is everything okay ? Does he know what happened last night ?" She demanded, panic lacing her words.
" No, no. He isn't aware of our arrangement, and I'd like to keep it that way for a while longer. So let me deal with the problem and I'll let you know what you need to do." He was being very careful, choosing every word with caution, hoping to make Nate believe he was discussing some new business venture.
" Okay, I'll call you back in a little while. Please, Chuck, handle this. He can't find out about us." She was practically begging him.
" I understand that. That wouldn't be to either of our advantages. I do have something I need to discuss with you in person. A proposal that needs your attention. Will you be free for dinner, say around ten ?" He knew he was pushing his luck, setting up a date with Blair while Nate looked on, completely oblivious. But he couldn't help it. Just hearing her voice made his heart pound in his chest and he needed to know when he could see her again, hold her again.
" Are you serious ?!" She nearly screeched and Nate's eyebrows shot up at the change in Chuck's expression. " Are you making a date with me while my boyfriend watches ?"
" Nothing has changed. I have every reason to believe that everything with the incident will work out just fine. And this proposal is very time sensitive. It can't wait." He answered, nodding towards Nate and offering him another joint.
Keep him high and he wouldn't know a thing, Chuck thought to himself.
Nate took the joint and made himself busy with lighting it before settling once again with his back against the foot of the bed, his eyes however went right back to the clip.
" Alright, Chuck." She told him with a sigh. " I'll see you tonight. Do you want me to come there again? I think maybe my place would be better. No chance of running into random siblings here."
" That is sound thinking. I'll see you at ten." He said, before hanging up.
" Planning on stabbing someone else in the back ?" Nate asked coldly, his eyes still on the clip.
Chuck sighed and shifted to get more comfortable as he took the joint from Nate's outstretched fingers.
" I am not stabbing you in the back. Blair spent quite a bit of time here in the past. I'm sure the clip just got left back then."
Nate was silent for a moment, then he turned and leveled him with hard eyes. " I'm pretty sure I saw her wearing it last week."
Chuck inhaled the earthy aroma of the marijuana and made absolutely sure that he didn't pause or flinch in his movements. He was a master at this game. Deception, lies, they were all a part of who he was. Without batting an eye, he leaned forward and handed the smoking joint off. " I have a step-sister."
Nate blinked at him, as if that explanation made no sense at all.
" She's Blair's best friend, if you haven't heard. I'm sure she just loaned it Serena."
His eyes fell to the clip again and he studied it carefully.
" Really, Nataniel, they practically share a wardrobe. I'm sure that's how that ended up here." Chuck continued, grabbing hold to this reasoning and not letting go.
Nate glanced up at him with a furrowed brow. " That might explain how it got in your apartment, but how did it get in your room ?"
Chuck sat back and gave him his best leering smile, then he raised his eyebrows subtly.
" You are NOT having sex with Serena." Nate answered his unspoken announcement.
Chuck chuckled and took the joint back. " A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."
" Next time I see one, I'll remind him." Nate's eyes had finally taken on the hazy, otherworldliness that came with the drug they were sharing and Chuck heaved a silent sigh of relief.
Let him think whatever he wanted about Serena and himself. It was better than the alternative.
Blair stood alone in her room pacing the floor. She had no idea what was happening between Chuck and Nate and it was driving her insane. Nate could be killing Chuck and she would have no idea.
If a fight broke out between them, she wasn't even sure she knew which one she wanted to win anymore. She just felt so confused.
Nate was everything she had always wanted. He was attentive and loving, trust-worthy and loyal.
God, she thought bitterly, he sounds like a cocker spaniel.
But Nate was easy. She knew exactly where she stood with him. There were never any jolts, no surprises.
Everything was always smooth sailing between them. And it was nice.
Her relationship with Chuck changed with the hands on a clock. Off one minute, on the next. It was exhausting. Even she had trouble keeping up.
She remembered, one morning during their brief time as a couple, she woke up and reached out to grab her phone to call him and tell him good morning. It was only at the last minute that she remembered they had had a fight the night before and she was still supposed to be mad at him.
She didn't want to be mad anymore. It took too much energy to be mad all the time. With college quickly approaching and just about every aspect of her life about to change, she didn't have enough energy to spare for a relationship with Chuck.
And yet, here she was, her mind constantly going back to the eager anticipation she felt over their date for later that night.
It felt as if her body was betraying her. It felt as if she had no control over her own life. And that was not acceptable to her.
From under the edge of her bed, she saw the cover of her scrapbook sticking out and she bent to retrieve it.
Sitting on the fluffy comfort of the foot of the bed, she opened it before her and started flipping through the pages.
She paused when she came to the page for her prom. Not many people knew about the scrapbooks existence. Pages upon pages of childish fantasies that she was now well aware wouldn't work out the way she so carefully planned. But somehow, despite all the problems, prom had proven her wrong.
She and Nate had made their plans and together they planned a perfect evening. But somehow, every plan that they made fell through at the last minute. Nothing went right, from her dress being ruined, to their suite being canceled, to the limousine being booked. Everything was falling apart around them.
Then, like she had a secret fairy godmother stashed away somewhere, the pages of her scrapbook came to life around her. Everything worked itself out. And worked themselves out more perfectly than she had ever imagined.
The entire night was a dream come true for her. She didn't know how and couldn't explain why, but it was the greatest night of her life.
She sighed and flipped the page and instantly her wistful smile turned to a scowl as she spied the bright blue and white colors of Yale university staring back at her, mocking her. She would never have Yale. It was something that she was learning to accept. But it was taking time. Yale had been such an intricate part of her plan. She wasn't sure what she was going to do once she got there, but she knew somehow, she belonged there.
Could she really trade the blue bulldogs for the violet bobcats ? Could she rally herself enough to become enthusiastic about NYU when it meant the loss of Yale ?
She was trying. She kept telling herself that she was trying. NYU was lucky to have her.
With an immature sticking out of her tongue, she turned the page again, wanting to put Yale and everything it meant to her, behind her.
The next page made her breath catch in her throat.
Her white dress nearly jumped off the page as she stared down at all the plans she had once made for her wedding day. She looked to the side of the picture of herself, expecting to find a perfect replica of Nate staring back at her.
She was startled by what she saw instead.
All the pages up to this point were very clear. Blond hair, Blue eyes, devastatingly handsome. The drawing she had made up till now could not be anyone other than Nate.
But this one, this one was different and it shocked her, because as many times as she had looked through the book, she had never noticed a difference.
The man standing by the image of herself was obscure, his features, his face, just about everything about him were indistinguishable and unclear. She told herself it was because the groom at the wedding mattered very little. Of course, she had always known it would be Nate. What mattered on her wedding day was the dress and the Bride's maid's dresses, and the flower and the cake.
But as she stared down at the tiny, shadowed figure, she wondered if perhaps something in her subconsciousness was trying to tell her something. Maybe her mind knew things she didn't.
It made her reconsider the choices she had recently made. Was Nate really who she wanted to spend the rest of her hopefully long life with ? Was Nate the man she wanted to wake up next to every morning and kiss goodnight every night ?
He made her happy. How could anyone not be happy with Nate at their side ? How could any woman not feel warm and wonderful when Nate told them he love them ? He was perfection personified. Every detail of him ideal. Strong and athletic, handsome and rich, sweet and kind, he was the man girls wrote about in their diaries.
But was he the man she wanted by her side through the rest of her life ? Was he the man she wanted to raise children with ? The one that would be there to ease her through the rough times and make all the good ones better ?
Was Nataniel Archibald her perfect match ?
As she sat there staring at the images of what was supposed to be the most important thing in her life, her phone rang and it startled her in its unexpectedness.
Snatching it up, she hit the talk button, knowing already who it was by the tone of the ring. " Chuck, are you okay ? Is Nate still there ? Does he know ?"
The words bubbled out of her so fast she could barely keep up. But under all that, tension and worry, there was an inexplicable excitement in her in knowing that she was about to hear his voice.
" Nate just left, and yes, everything is fine. He doesn't know anything. Although he is smoking again."He chuckled.
" You're such a child. Are you seriously tattling on him ?" She asked, hiding her own smile at his immaturity.
" I thought it might win me a few points." He answered, so smoothly. It was like his voice was caressing her through the phone.
She gulped at the thought and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. " Thank you for calling. I was really worried. How did you find the clip ?"
" Nate found it actually. So if he asks, you loaned it to Serena."
" I wouldn't loan that clip to Serena. My father gave it to me. I love that clip." She replied, off-handedly.
" Does Nate know that ?"
" I don't know. He's never asked to borrow it." She bit out.
" Well, let's just assume that he doesn't and don't mention it unless he does."
She huffed in exasperation. " I know how to play this game, too, Chuck. You didn't invent lying and sneaking around."
" I may not have invented it, but I am the best at it." He told her shamelessly.
" Yes, you are the best back-stabbing, betraying, lying, cheating, dirt bag you can be." She conceded.
" Are we still on for tonight ?" He asked through his laughter. " I want to see you."
She stood from the bed and began to pace again. She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to tell him to leave her alone and never call him again She wanted to be free of him more than she wanted anything else in the world.
But even as she opened her mouth to speak those worlds, she knew they weren't the ones about to leave her lips. " Yes, we are still on for tonight."
He was quiet for a time, but she could hear him moving in the background. " Why ?" He finally asked.
" Why what ?" she replied, not understanding his question.
" Why are you agreeing to see me ?" He clarified.
Because I love you and I need you. The words were almost out before she stopped herself. " I'm not sure, really." She said instead.
" Tell me you want me." He demanded, his voice suddenly low and gravelly.
Flopping into the middle of the bed, her eyes fell again to the vacant groom on her scrapbook page. "You know I do."
" I want to hear you say it." He whispered in her ear.
Her stomach did a little flip and everything inside her tightened instantly. " I want you." She whispered back, glancing up to her opened bedroom door. It was empty, but she quickly moved to shut it anyway.
Then she returned to the middle of the bed.
His voice was tighter than normal when he spoke again. " What do you want me to do to you ?"
" I am not having phone sex with you, Chuck." She answered immediately.
" Don't be so sure of that. Just hearing your voice makes me throb to touch you." He replied a touch unevenly.
" What are you doing ?" She demanded, sitting up quickly.
" The better question would be, what are you wearing ?" He drawled heavily.
Her mouth went instantly dry at his words and the image of him stretched out over his black, satin covered bed, naked and breathless.
" Chuck, I can't do this." She breathed, realizing she was nearly panting in her excitement.
" Of course you can. It's easy. I'll help." He paused. " I can hear how bad you want to do this in your voice."
She thought about his words and for a moment she let them seep into her. He was right. She wanted to hear his voice, rasping out all the delicious details of what he planned to do to her when they met hours later. She wanted to imagine how he looked as he spoke.
But an obnoxious beep through the phone turned her attention away from him for a moment. She glanced at the screen and saw Nate's name blaring at her.
" Chuck, you'll just have to take care of your own throb. Nate's calling me." She told him though it was an effort not to just ignore her boyfriend and stay on the line with him.
" I'll be there at ten." He replied easily, not disappointed or angry, just resigned.
" I'll be her." She told him as she hung up.
" What took you so long ?" Nate asked immediately as she answered.
" I was on the other line." She told him trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. " What's up ?"
" How about dinner ? Maybe after we can pick up where we left off last night ?"
" I can't tonight." She lied easily. " I have plans."
" What plans ?"
" Just plans. I didn't know I had to run everything I do by you now." Now she was irritated.
" Why are you getting mad ? I was just asking."
He sounded hurt by her snappy remark and that irritated her even more. Where was the equally snappy comeback ? Where was the quiet chuckle at her anger ?
" I'm not mad. I'm just staying in tonight. Catching up on something I need to get done around here." She placated him.
" I'll right. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
" Yes, I'll see you tomorrow."
Now she was mad. Mad at him for interrupting her conversation with Chuck. She wanted to grab the phone and try to pick up where they had left off. Then she hated herself for wanting to. Everything inside her was in turmoil, everything conflicted.
It occurred to her that she wasn't the least bit conflicted over her choice of companions for the evening. She had chosen Chuck without even thinking about it.
That had to mean something.