A/N: Hey, this is the new-and-improved chapter 4! What's different? I got fed up looking at those stupid lyrics to "Supergirl". They were bad compared to what I feel I can accomplish, and the tune was more like noise than music. So it's been changed! Yay! I hope you like this one better. And Blood and Gore! MR
Disclaimer: I don't own Max Ride. If I did you'd have to pay me $23. 50. Go ahead, pay me, I dare you. I could use the money, too. Plus, now it comes with the CD (a $14.99 value)! (This is, mostly, a joke! All but the " I don't own Max Ride." bit is sarcasm. I don't mean for you guys to actually buy this.)
Max's POV
Concert Time! I was very nervous for some reason. We were in Chicago, so it's not like this was the first time I was onstage or anything. But something felt different. We were greeted by the thousands of fans that were seated in United Center. And then I saw them. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't perform. Not here; not in front of them. I had to get out of here. But how, it seemed like the best choices was either to tank my career or to duke it out with my inner demons. And since my career is what keeps food in my stomach, I'll go with the latter, I guess.
But I saw their faces. Angel looked somewhere between deranged and just plain nuts with a heaping load of sad sprinkled on top. Gazzy looked excited, but I could see pain in those eyes. He's still my little trooper. Nudge looked excited, too, but her energy wasn't there. Iggy looked lost. I bet he couldn't find his way around here well. Fang actually had emotions on his face. He was downcast, and looked like he'd feel better if an elephant trampled him. But it really surprised me that he had emotion. " Hello, everybody! You ready to rock?"
" Yeah!"
Gazzy's face lit up and I felt a little pang of happiness in that. Maybe I could go back to them; maybe they'd let me. " I can't hear you!"
" Yeah!"
Mia started to speak. "Alright! We're gonna start off with Supergirl, my personal favorite."
Jack began counting off and I stood there waiting to belt out the lyrics:
"8 o' clock comes
and the skies look bleaker than black
I can only run
Cause hiding's way out of the question
Oh, it's on
I'm going for a change in direction
I'm gone
Don't even wanna see my reflection
Things go from bad to worse
I can't save your little universe
Don't start, I won't even try
I'll get up, I'm gone, I'll fly
Supergirl runs
From the torturous humans again
Go ahead, shun
What ain't understood today
Wait till tomorrow comes
And you feel the pain anyway
Things go from bad to worse
I can't save your little universe
Be mad, it's fine with me
I can't see you anyway
Another day goes
Right out the window
And it shows
The destruction, I know
It's my fault
I'm supposed to halt
The rebirth
Of the death that consumes us
-Bridge w/ guitar solo-
Things go from bad to worse
I can't save your damn universe
Shut up, Don't even try
Supergirl's gotta say goodbye
Things go from bad to worse
I can't save your damn universe
Shut up, Don't even try
Supergirl's gotta say goodbye
Sorry, I'm not your supergirl"
The crowd cheered and again I looked towards my guys. Gazzy was on the edge of his seat, looking like he was so happy he was about to wet his pants. Angel and Nudge were grinning, with more enthusiasm than I thought they could manage to contain. Iggy was smiling, obviously liking how everyone else shut up when the music started. Fang looked.. I don't know… confused, maybe? Oh, well. " Hey, guess what song's next?"
Faye took that queue." What?"
Wash started to answer for me. "It's…"
"Dreaming…
Dreaming of a past I cannot change
Dreaming of a face I cannot hide from
I am dreaming for the light has gone away
I am dreaming
Falling leaves fly by me
And I wish you're here beside me
But I can't help feel the wonder or excitement
So when it rains it pours
And my heart it tries to soar
But it cannot fly without the life I find within the dream
Wishing for a better yesterday
I'm hoping for a just-as-good tomorrow
I am dreaming away all the pain and sorrow of today
Wake up Max you're dreaming
So you cannot see the light
Stop it Max you're screaming
And I can't but feel the fright
Dreaming…(wake up)
I am dreaming… (Stop, you're screaming)
Dreaming… (Scream)
-Jack- Wake up!
I've lost myself now to this dream
And I can't wake up despite their screams
But against this dream I now see that I'm fighting
So the light I could see in your eyes
Now turns back to blackness I despise
And the dream I used to wish for now is fading
Wishing for a better yesterday
I'm hoping for a just-as-good tomorrow
I am dreaming away the pain and sorrow of today
(Softer) And I'm dreaming away the pain and sorrow of today
That last tremor of sound was the last thing I heard before hearing the deafening roar of the crowds. People really like our stuff, huh? I keep looking at the Flock periodically, checking for their approval of my work. It makes me feel good that I can make them smile. I mean, after hurting them so much, as I guess I have, I feel like I can get a second chance. But I'm not going to push my luck. I'm still wearing the sunglasses, etc. Just in case.
We played the rest of our songs from the album and then got ready to visit with the audience. I looked over at the rest of them getting themselves for meeting the fans. I guess it's never really been a problem for me. Faye, the tough yet sympathetic tomboy is freaking out in front of a mirror. Our bass guitarist thinks that if she can see herself freaking out like a fan girl that she can empathize and therefore handle fan girls running up to her. Jack, the oldest, is talking to himself while jumping up and down. The 23 year-old drummer is the decision maker, but he's such a softie that it's not a surprise he lets me make a lot of the smaller decisions. " So long as you don't drive Wash crazy," he says.
Wash is to his right, talking to his sisters on the phone, talking about them coming to the next concert and making plans to see them. Our very tough and easily bored guitarist had a falling out with his mom when he was 17, but his sisters are still in school, here in Chicago, so he doesn't get to see him much.
And Mia, or chocolate obsessed girly girl, is plucking things out on her guitar and whispering to herself. She's got brothers in LA and she's whispering little prayers that she'll get to see her oldest brother, Random, before he gets the results of his biopsy. She's whispering that it's not their greatest fear, leukemia.
While they're all going nuts getting ready, I'm looking at them and thinking about what I can expect. It's our signature thing to go out into the lobby after performances and sign autographs and stuff. Plus it's fun to hear what people think about us, and to hear their stories.
So it wasn't one bit of a surprise when the Flock showed up. I got this look in my eyes, which of course Faye had to see. Faye's always been the most empathetic about what's happened. "MR, how about you go take a break?"
" Sure, Faye. I'll be back in about a minute."
But the Gasman chased me down. " Hey, you're MR, right?"
" Yeah, kid. I'm sorry but I'm kinda busy at the moment. We're all human when it comes to Nature calling, you know? If you've got any questions or something, I'd talk to the others right now, because all I can concentrate on is getting back stage."
" Well, I really wanted to talk to you. Can I wait?"
I looked at him. He was so much taller than when I left him, and he looked so happy to be talking to me. I wanted to cry and hug him so badly. "Sure, kid. What's your name?"
"Umm… Grant."
I gave him a smirk. " Uh-huh. Okay, umm… Grant, follow me. We're going backstage."
Gazzy's face lit up. I led him behind the stage and got to the dressing room with the bathroom. I really did have to go. Graham asked me what I was doing, and I told him to feed Gazzy, adding quietly that it was to be nothing that produces gas. I went in, used the pot, came back, and found him sitting there waiting happily. He must really be a fan. " Hey, Grant. So what did you want to talk to me about?"
" Why don't you want to be found? I heard that you left some people behind in New York, but if I were them I'd totally want to see you."
" Well, my family has a blog. And they posted a few times that they never want to see me again, and that they hate my guts. Besides, you don't know exactly what happened, and it's pretty inexcusable on my part."
He looked incredulously at me. " Why do you wear the sunglasses?"
" I don't want to be recognized. If I was, well… I honestly don't know what would happen, but I doubt it would be good. I'd be getting a lot of people on my tail. So my anonymity is a definite relief. I couldn't take them off in the public."
" What was the inspiration for 'Dreaming'? It's my favorite."
" It's what really happened to me when I first left. I got dragged into this other place, and it wasn't pretty… Hey, aren't you here with people?"
Gazzy looked really sullen." Yeah. I probably ought to get back to them."
" Well, I was thinking that they'd feel left out if they didn't at least get an autograph."
He lighted up at the sound of that and led the way back to his family. " Hi."
Angel and Nudge came running up to Gaz and me. " Oh. My. God. It's MR!!!! We are SUCH big fans! Can we have your autograph?"
" You must be reading my mind."
Angel looked up at me angelically and Nudge looked at her with a suspicious look. Then Iggy and Fang walked up behind them , and Faye and Jack walked up behind me and started laughing. I had to keep a straight face, " Guys, cut it out!"
" The irony bell chimes in the tower, because the belfry is full of bats."
" Jack, what does that even mean?"
" I'm laughing at the irony…"
" Don't you even, guys. It was funny with Ms. Sawyer. But don't mess with that here."
The Flock looked stunned. I turned back to them." So, who wants an autograph?"
The kids and Iggy volunteered, and this made Jack burst out laughing again. I ignored him and started with Angel. " So what's your name?"
" Angel."
" Cute. What do you… no, I know exactly what to write."
I took out a piece of paper and a pencil, and drew a guilty looking smiley face with a halo. Then I wrote, " Much Love, Ange. MR."
" How do you know I'm called that?"
" Oh, what did I write?"
" Ange."
" I'm sorry! I totally forgot the 'l'. I'll write it in there if you want!"
" No. It's okay. I just haven't been called Ange in a while."
" Okay… So who's next?"
It turned out to be Gazzy's turn. I drew a small smiley looking out of a window and wrote 'Keep Dreaming. Much Love. MR." He smiled and readily accepted it. But I wasn't prepared for doing Nudge's. I only just remembered that she read things through inanimate objects, so I thought about how cute I thought they were and other dumb stuff that wouldn't incriminate me. I must have looked really nervous, because my band mates looked at me funny, but I finished and turned to them mouthing, " I'll explain later."
Iggy's was easy to write, and I even did it in Braille! I'm so cool like that, you know? It said, " Much love, Igster! MR."
I talked to all of them and I felt so awful about lying to their faces, but I also felt so happy that I could see that I had made them smile by doing so. So I'm torn. Do I say anything and watch as their faces fall back to what seems to be a habitual frown, or do I say what they want to hear, and see them happily smile back at me? Take one guess what I chose. Yup. I lied.
We finished talking and then they took off, and I wanted to break down right there. I told them the little part I left out about their powers, and Nudge's being identifying stuff through inanimate objects, and Mia, the sweet person she is, decided that she'd go home with me and keep me company while everyone else grabbed some grub. I got home and immediately went to the area of the suite we put all the recording equipment in. I just needed to vent and so Mia and I decided to play it out of our systems. So we sang "Glitter", the one song we have as a duet.
(MR)I look upon the fast paced drones
Filed in lines
Awaiting their instructions
I'm all dressed up and
Look at me
I'm like a butterfly
Come see
The freak show
Gliding down the stairs
I see the cameras flash
And people stash
Away their boredom
But to me it's like a full moon calling
Me away from all this falling
into what seems my biggest nightmare
( Both)I'm not the glitter on my face
I'm not what I see in this place
Give my jeans and take off this dress
I'm not pulling myself into this mess
I'm not the sparkle in your eye
If you think that I'd rather die
Than rough it out
I think you've got to figure out
What you see before your eyes
And see my sacrifice
To you
( Mia)I'm running from the dressed up guys
I'm tearing off what I despise
The dress goes there
The earrings here
Just take it all
I just don't care
But get me out of here
( Both)I'm not the glitter on my face
I'm not what I see in this place
Give my jeans and take off this dress
I'm not pulling myself into this mess
I'm not the sparkle in your eye
If you think that I'd rather die
Than rough it out
I think you've got to figure out
What you see before your eyes
And see my sacrifice
To you
( MR) I'd rather die than rough it out under the glittered mask
(Mia) and I'd hope that it is something that will never pass
(MR) Just give me my glass slipper and I'm gone
" You know Max, this is so much better than the copy at the studio. Do you think when we get back we should rerecord it?"
" No. then we'll get more money from concerts."
She laughed, and it sounded like tinkling bells. " I guess you're right… About what happened back there, do you want to talk about it?"
" Not really. I just flipped. I wanted to see them smile, but I also didn't want to lie. I just don't know what to do."
" I gotta say, you're one amazing person. And I'm one amazing cheater."
I looked up, shocked. " What in the world do you mean by that?"
" I snuck some backstage passes for tomorrow's performance to Fang. He was thrilled. They all seem to like the songs, Max. Why don't you try and reach out to them?"
" I think I might have an idea as to how to do that."