Say Anything

Summary: Since the accident, Bifur was isolated in his own mind. He had given up all hope of being close to his family and friends again. The idea of forming a new relationship was nothing short of an impossibility, but a young, over curious prince may just prove him wrong.

Chapter 4

When Kili awoke, the rain had cleared, and the sun was just starting to shine it's way in pale rays through the windows of the massive home. He lifted up and stretched, yanking as he did. He looked around to see that everyone was still in place, at least around the fire. Bofur and Thorin were still missing, so he assumed they were still in the loft. He glanced over toward his brother, and the hobbit. They were sleeping near each other, but they were turned away, and there was something in the body language that made Kili wonder. Something wasn't the same.

As he was making a note to ask his brother about it, his eyes found their way to where Bifur had been sleeping, and instantly he realized that Bifur was no longer there. His head whipped around, scanning the room. Then at the far left side of the home, there was a small nook, with a bench made into the home, and there, by the window, sat the warrior, working away at his carving.

Kili was struck by how angry, and savage he had been the night before, and now, he was the calm, intellectual dwarf they all loved. He didn't feel nervous at all about approaching him. He was desperate to see that kind look in his eyes again. Bifur noticed him quickly, and there was a warm smile on his face instantly. He sat his carving down, and lifted his hands. /Good morning. Good sleep?/ The prince smiled, but did not answer him. He was just content with seeing him in his right mind. He climbed up onto the massive bench, and looked out the window at the dawn.

The young prince did not see Bifur watching him, a bit puzzled by his unusually quiet mood, but he was silent. He gave Kili the time he wanted to stare out the window at the morning, and start running his hands through his hair, preparing to fix it for the day. There was a majesty to him that Bifur only wished he could see. He was beautiful, but the way he kept himself reeled in, showed very well that he was completely oblivious to it. Then, Kili turned his head at looked right at the warrior's eyes. Bifur blinked once, but then they held the gaze for a moment.

Suddenly, Kili realied he was staring and shook his head and started stumbling over his words: "Sorry... I um..." He couldn't help but smile, but it was only a nervous habit. "How... How are you feeling?" He left his dark eyes fall, and started reweaving his braids. Then, he looked back up quickly, remembering he had to actually see Bifur to understand.

/Well./ He signed. He broke his gaze for a moment, and then looked back up slowly. This was normal for Bifur. Sometimes he would look down for a long time before returning to conversation. This morning, however, he seemed fairly grounded. /The morning is beautiful./

Kili turned to look again, and nodded. "It is... We'll probably be going soon."

Bifur simply nodded in agreement, and carefully brushed away some wood shavings from the bench. He was almost lost in the cloud that was his mind, when Kili's voice brought him right back to reality.

"Master Bifur... I have a question. If you don't mind, that is."

Bifur cocked his head a bit, but signed: /Not a problem./

Kil rubbed his hand together nervously, and sighed lightly before saying: "Why did you decide to join the quest?"

The artist gave Kili a confused look, and then had think quite deeply as to what his answer should be. He sat for so long, Kili was worried he had zoned out, and that he was at fault, yet again for an episode, but then his head shot back up, and his hands started moving slowly. The prince watched carefully, doing his best to understand. /Respect. Our leader. Thorin was in need. I am here to help him./

"That's it? No personal reason?"

/Loyalty./

Kili shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Imnes." ([being] loyal) He said softly.

The prince was almost startled at the sound of his voice, but it made him smile. "That's a good reason, I suppose." He said, though he couldn't shake the feeling that Bifur wasn't telling him everything. Of course, why would he? They weren't exactly close. He was about to look away again, when Bifur leaned forward slightly, and lifted his hands.

/It is an honor./

Kili bowed his head to him, and grinned brightly. "Surely, the honor is ours. As you can see, we're a bit shorthanded."

Bifur glanced around, and smirked. When his eyes made it back to the prince, he was staring out the window again, finishing off his braids, and his hair looked lush and soft in the morning sunlight. He had a slight smile resting on his face, and Bifur found himself transfixed. He had the eyes that Thorin had, though not the same color, they were the same shape, and the same radiance came from them. His look was soft, and inviting, but at the same time, slightly bold, and a bit intimidating. It didn't take much to tell that he was shy, yet talkative. The artistic warrior found a lot of things about him ... beautiful.

He wished, more than anything, that the thought wouldn't put such a knot in his stomach. The only people that he had remained close to after the accident were his cousins, and he had hurt them enough to know what he was capable of, and the thought of putting the prince at such risk made him ill. He was so innocent in his intentions, yet, Bifur knew ... it was in vain. To even be on the quest with him was dangerous enough.

Kili, on the other hand, was feeling much different. He felt happy, comfortable, and that was rare for him. As excitable as he was, company made him nervous. He had a skill for embarrassing himself, but for whatever reason, he did not feel that way with Bifur. He felt understood, and he felt his quirks were already forgiven. He had to let his smile grow at the thought of getting used to the feeling. He glanced over and caught Bifur's eyes immediately. There was a short pause, then he took a breath to speak. He only wished he could remember what he was going to say, but he was interrupted by the sounds of movement.

They both looked over to see Bofur and Thorin slowly making their way down the ladder to the loft. Kili glanced over to Bifur, and his cheeky mood got the better of him. "What do you think of that?" He pointed towards the couple as they made their way to the fire, slowly splitting apart as they walked.

Bifur shook his head, and lifted his hands, but only halfway, obviously signing just to Kili: /Nervous. Also, glad./

"Why nervous?"

Bifur held in his sigh as he realized that what he was going to sign was speaking more for just his cousin: /To be broken is easy. I worry for him, because we do not know the future./

Kili saw that the look on his face had changed. He was slipping back into that fog, but before he could make an attempt to bring him back out. Thorin announced that it was time to prepare breakfast, and ready for the day. Bifur jumped at the command of the king, giving Kili nothing more than a small bow, before jumping down, and heading over to begin breakfast, while the rest of the company recovered from sleep. As he left, Kili felt odd. He wasn't quite sure if he should count the conversation a success, but he was not unhappy. THe reasons may be unknown, but the one thing that he did understand was that when he was with Bifur, he felt comfortable. There were only very few dwarfs that gave him that feeling, all of which were family.

As he turned to stare back out the window, he contemplated the idea that he perhaps he should be more like Fili. Outspoken, and direct. In fact with Bifur, it may be better to be that way. He may need that extra push. Of course, the very thought made him have to catch his breath. That just wasn't in his nature. He wasn't exactly shy. His racing mind, and mouth, kept him from that, but he found that he always came off slightly awkward. He had certainly never impressed a female, and all of the males he had attracted never made him feel anything ... new.

"Morning."

Fili's voice made him turn his head, but the brothers never seemed to startle each other. He gave him a smile, but then looked back to the window. The elder prince jumped up on the bench, and followed Kili's gaze. It was the younger of the two who looked over first, remembering his earlier note: "I couldn't help but notice a bit more distance between you and our burglar."

Fili didn't look at his brother, but shook his head. "I'm not sure. One moment I felt very close to him... The next, he insists I maintain distance. I'm not sure if I said something wrong, or if he just isn't interested... or..." He trailed off, and let his head drop to stare at the massively sized window sill.

"Or what?" Kili prompted.

"It's odd." He finally glanced over, and his eyes were thoughtful, and a bit confused. "He seems to be ... pulling back."

"What do you mean?" Kili leaned on the wall, and tucked his knees to his chest. He listened to his brother closely, subconsciously comparing it to his own situation.

"When we speak... as long as it is general conversation... it's wonderful. I feel very drawn to him. He smiles at me. Looks into my eyes."

"That's happened before."

"Hush." Fili took a second to shake off his brother's cheeky comment. "He's just ... different. That's not what's important. It seems that every time we get to a point in the conversation where I want to compliment him, or ask more personal questions, he draws back. I can see it in his eyes. It's as if he flinches."

"What do you think that means?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out."

"What's your goal anyway? Have you considered having that conversation with Thorin?"

"I have, but I'm not sure what the goal is. For now, I just wish he wasn't frightened of me."

"Of course he is. You could squish him."

"I'm trying to be serious."

"So am I. Maybe you're coming on too strong. Perhaps something happened in his past that is causing him to be fearful. Try to give him a little space and time."

Fili gave a scoff, not unlike Thorin. "We have very little of either."

Kili was inclined to laugh, but to forlorn look on his brother's face, kept him from doing so. He thought for a second, and then offered a secondary piece of advise, wondering if it was even the right thing, but he just wanted to give him a suggestion: "You could always ask him."

"About what? His past?"

Kili nodded.

"And offend him even more than I already have?"

"Perhaps, but maybe all he really needs is assurance."

Fili turned his head, his expression full of thought, and determination, but then it faded. "I don't know."

Kili did laugh then. "I've never seen you so flustered."

The elder prince's eyes shot up, and he gave him a taunting smirk. "Almost as obvious as your longing stare as Bifur left you."

Kili's jaw almost dropped, but he threw up his hands. "Truce?"

"Truce."