A/N: Severus' wife and daughter: I said that they were in Diagon Alley shopping for Halloween clothes and were attacked, but that they died in November. I'm sorry I didn't make this clear, but they weren't killed on sight, they were tortured, found, and were taken to the hospital. They lived almost three weeks on magical life-support before they died.

A/N2: GORE WARNING! This story is rated M for mature!

Inner Demons

Bright white light - blinding- shattered the darkness. Furious to be awoken, Demon clawed for full possession. But it was like fighting through a blizzard. The mental terrain - rocking and flaring chaotically. Icy shards of terror whipped at him, threatening to drown him under again as Boy's consciousness flailed against his. A living memory of unending agony howled past his ears - Growling back because he wants to hear those screams in a different voice.

Demon cradled the consuming fear and undying pain to his chest - Raging - He slammed Boy down into the cold, quiet dark. Shoved until he was flying up on wings of hate. Slipping and sliding on uncertain ground until the lights calm and white fades away in a dying red curtain against his eyelids.

He feels the weakness of his body. His skin pulls taunt against still healing scars as he regulates his breathing. Fingers and limbs tremble with exhaustion, but the magic… Oh, the magic is still there, burning to be used, to destroy the ones who completely devastated the Boy who shared his darkness. The one given to him to sleep beside. The one who had always whispered to him flashes of a hell and terror untasted by the sane. He had always whispered back. Whispered, from his sleeping lips, revenge, painted in blood and screams and pain.

Because that is life - It was better to sleep; it was better to crouch in the darkness. Boy only brought back more suffering when he visited life, found comfort only in the deep dark, locked in. Demon hated life - Hated the blue sky above him that mocked his rage and his Boy's agonized existence.

Demon bellowed, fisting his hands and flinging them upward with a wave of the dark, icy power that condensed on his skin like dew. Color the sky with his Hate and Fury! Color it black as all things should be black. Storm clouds gathered and blue lightning snapped and crashed across the blue, tearing it asunder - And he laughed! Laughed and pulled his rage and hunger close. He wanted to rip apart the world, but first… But first…

He sat up and stood - growing more furious with every pain and ache that whispered along his disgustingly fragile body - He bared his teeth to the grass and cool breeze. He would spare the world - For now - First, first he had to hunt. Self-denial--- It hurt. It hurt so badly; he wanted to kill, rend, destroy! But, no… No, not yet… Not yet. He had to find the ones who shattered his Boy beyond comfort, beyond peace - who made the whimpers echo endlessly in the dark where he slept…

Demon screamed at the heavens, head tilted back, oblivious to the cold rain pelting his face. He screamed and wrapped his arms around his chest - straight-jacket tight. A naked, repulsive face - a whisper-memory from Boy… And Demon opened hungry, inhumane eyes… Looked into the distance and demanded with all that was in him for the answer to his need…

… and he disappeared with a crack of thunder that shook the ground.

xXxXxXx

"Help!" Neville cried, bursting into the house.

Remus and Draco came running out of the library. Sirius came skidding over from the dining room, and Severus appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Harry! Seizure! Hurry!" he choked out, panting.

"Where is he?" Severus demanded, practically flying down the stairs. Remus and Sirius had already bolted out the front door, Draco close on their heels.

"Outside. Disillusioned," Neville gasped as his teacher grabbed him roughly by the arm and began to run after the other two adults.

"I hope you can find him," Severus growled darkly.

Neville was about to answer when the perfectly clear sky began to darken. Lightning flashed and thunder followed in a distant roar. In seconds, it was almost as dark as night. Remus and Draco cast Lumos to light the way, while Padfoot ran nimbly ahead. Severus, however, stopped.

"Too late…" he whispered and aimed a tripping hex at the blond Slytherin.

Draco went down hard, but rolled and jumped right back to his feet. His teeth were bared and shone as lightning flashed above. Severus made a hand gesture. Neville couldn't believe it, but Draco instantly backed down and began hurrying back toward them.

"Too late for what?" he whispered, horrified. "To late for WHAT?"

"Shadow's gone. Demon's loose," Severus answered distractedly, his black eyes pinned to where Remus and Padfoot had disappeared. Draco came up, his face pale and his eyes wide as he overheard.

"Shouldn't we get Remus and…" Neville's teeth were chattering, and he couldn't get his breath.

"No," Severus shook his head. "They're too far. Omi!"

The elf appeared with a crack. His blue eyes were glowing. "Powerful magic, Master."

"Neutralize it as quickly as you can," Severus ordered. "Draco come with me."

"Yes, sir," the blond answered quickly.

"What about me?" Neville called at their backs. His arms were wrapped tightly around himself and he had to bite his lip from screaming.

Severus didn't even stop to answer, "The clouds are breaking up. I suspect Demon has left the area. Go see if the mutt and wolf managed to get killed before my son vanished." The front door to the house slammed on the last word.

Neville stumbled in the direction he had left Harry. Tears streaked his face, black dots swam in his view, and he knew he was going to pass out soon if he didn't get air into his lungs. Two silhouettes appeared over the next hill and he fell to his knees, unable to go any further. Covering his face in shame, he wept. Cold rain soaked into his clothes and skin, slowly lessening as the sun began to peak through the dark black and green streamers streaked across the sky.

"Hey, are you all right?" Remus crouched before him. His graying, light brown hair dripping and sticking to his face. Gentle hands took his and ran up his arms, finding the bleeding. Remus sighed and tore his sleeve, wrapping the cloth around the tears. "This will do for now. Let's get you into the house where I can heal you."

"What happened?" Sirius asked insistently. "That was Demon, right?"

Neville nodded numbly. "It's my fault… I dropped him… My fault…"

"No." Remus shook him slightly. "Neville, listen to me. This wasn't your fault. Come on. Get off the wet ground. I'll explain once we get you warm."

The teen allowed himself to be lifted and followed after the two men. Remus settled him in the sitting room and began tending to his clothes and cuts, casting a flawless stream of magic. Sirius paced agitatedly, muttering every now and then.

"Listen, Neville," Remus said firmly, looking into the teen's shell-shocked eyes. "Shadow is still ill. He came very close to dying in that graveyard. Not one part of his body was left undamaged except for his head. A lot of very powerful magic was all that held him together for a while. As his body heals and slowly starts taking over jobs that were done by magic, there can be occasional surges or short-circuits. I've been doing all I can to filter and sooth the magical and physical systems at work in his body, but he will have a few seizures. It's unavoidable. He's already had one. Four days after he was brought here. Nothing you did brought this seizure on. There are no warning signs."

"This… h-h-has happened… b-b-before?" Neville gasped.

"Yes," Sirius said with uncharacteristic grimness. "And an alter came Out then, too… Boy."

Remus sighed and sat tiredly next to Neville on the couch. He covered his eyes with a hand. "It was horrible. Boy is significantly worse than he was last summer, if you can imagine that."

Neville shook his head, eyes wide again. No. He couldn't. He remembered terrified green eyes staring unblinking at him from under the couch. Harry had curled up into a ball, rocking and whimpering and broke into loud helpless sobs and almost incoherent pleas if anyone made any move toward him. He was so traumatized and lost… So frightened. How could it be worse?

"It was like he was a wild animal. He didn't speak at all. He huddled in the corner, snarling and shaking. He wet himself, he was so afraid," Sirius rasped. He ran his hands through his hair before balling them into fists. "We had to leave the room before he would calm down at all, and then he just collapsed and cried… I've only heard that kind of crying in once place… Azkaban."

"Boy is completely insane now. The abuse he has suffered for years, and the torture this summer… It was too much for any human to endure, let alone a helpless child," Remus agreed softly. "Especially since Boy's mentality is that of a five-year-old."

Neville broke down. He covered his face and cried in grief for his friend. Remus soothed him, pulling him into his shoulder. Sirius knelt and rubbed the teenager's back. They sat that way for long minutes before Severus entered the room. He was dressed all in black with a wizarding robe folded on his arm.

"I'm going to retrieve my son. I am familiar with you're ineffectiveness, but endeavor to maintain the house while I'm gone. Perhaps strengthen the wards. And no further magic outside!"

"You can't possibly blame us for what happened?" Sirius snarled, jumping to his feet.

"What were you thinking leaving him alone outside? What was he doing out there in the first place?" Severus bellowed, eyes dark and deadly.

"What are you going to do when you find him?" Remus spoke quickly, hoping to stave off the argument. At least until Harry was back safe and sound.

Severus sneered, but didn't answer. He turned and stalked from the house, slamming the door hard in his wake. Draco took his place in the doorway. He was rolling down his sleeves. "Would anyone care to explain what's going on?"

Remus gestured to an empty chair with his free arm and began to explain again. He knew Neville hadn't really absorbed what he was saying the first time around, anyway. And talking about Shadow's condition was better than doing nothing.

As Remus began to explain again, Sirius growled softly and returned pacing. He didn't know what that snarky bastard planned to do. Demon was pretty much unstoppable; his magic was too wild. And what would he and Moony have been able to do, had they stayed outside with the boys? They couldn't stop Demon coming Out or going on a rampage. And if it had happened in the house, it would have been a miracle if the walls were left standing. The greasy bastard had a lot of nerve blaming them…

He did his best to ignore the guilty feeling in his own stomach and went to strengthen the protections around the house.

xXxXxXx

Neville and Draco sat stiffly and silently in the sitting room alone. Remus and Sirius were busy doing as Severus demanded, and Omi was outside working frantically to try and erase the magical residue that had spilled all over around their hiding place, showing anyone who cared to look where they were. They had been sitting there, doing nothing, for about an hour when Severus came stalking into the room with Remus and Sirius on his heels. Both teens jumped to their feet.

"Lupin informs me that you were able to find Shadow with your Elemental magic." Severus got straight to the point, black eyes boring into the Gryffindor. "Can you do it again?"

Draco watched Longbottom pale. He frowned, "You can't find him, Professor?"

"I cannot," Severus admitted. "Well? Can you?"

"I… I don't… I don't know…" Neville stuttered.

Severus sneered and opened his mouth, but Remus brushed passed him. He stood in front of Neville, blocking his view of the others, and put his hands on his shoulders. "You're comfortable working at the surface level of your magic; you can do this, Nev. I know we're asking a lot. You've never had to cover so much distance before, but Harry needs you. All we can do is ask you to try."

Draco didn't know what Elemental magic was, but he had a feeling it wasn't something to sneer at. And as he watched, the clumsy Gryffindor seemed to straighten, his posture becoming confident. Suddenly, Draco realized that he and Shadow stood a good two inches shorter than Longbottom, and he had a feeling that the Gryffindor was only going to get taller, stronger. He was beginning to have a glimmering of understanding as to why Shadow was so close to the seemingly incompetent teen.

"I'll try," Neville said firmly, purpose burning in his eyes as he nodded firmly. "I'll do anything to help Harry."

Severus nodded and turned. They all filed out after him, going back outside where Neville could better access his magic. To prevent onlookers from getting suspicious or noticing the activity up at the old house, Severus led them all into the sparse woods. It would grant them enough cover to work by.

Without saying anything, Neville sat on the soil and grass. The others hung back silently as the teen put his hands to either side of him, digging his fingers into the ground. Back straight, Neville closed his eyes. He slid easily into a trance and his unique magic bloomed in his mind like a map of life itself. Neville's consciousness broke free, ignorant of his body as he traveled along the veins and pulses of soil and vegetation that made up the earth's crust.

He whispered along the roots and trees of his purpose, pushing into his mind the remembrance of the residue Demon had left behind at Hogwarts at the end of their third year. To this day, there was a round circle about seven feet in diameter near the lake where nothing grew. He looked for the same poisonous energies, a mate to the same dissonance Demon left at Hogwarts.

He floated along his magic, spinning himself out further than he had ever dared go before. Fear had always touched him; he had never really trusted this side to his magic. But for his brother, he could push past that and give himself up to who he was. Harry needed him. And he refused to fail. Harry was as essential to him as the sun, as water. So he flung himself into the consuming, vast universe that was the earth.

xXxXxXx

Draco shifted uncomfortably. They had been standing there for half an hour. The sun was going to set soon and Longbottom was just sitting there. Nothing spectacular was happening. In fact, if he didn't know better - Severus surely would have thrown a fit, if it were so - he would have thought Longbottom was sleeping. His eyes were shut, his face was completely lax, and his breathing was slow and deep.

Lupin and Severus seemed unperturbed by the lack of anything happening, but Sirius had turned into Padfoot and disappeared. Draco caught sight of him every now and again prowling around the perimeter. His thoughts went to the lynx that had met him in these very woods. He remembered his fear of the deadly creature and his awe when the animal displayed playful affection instead of violence. Merlin, he hoped Shadow was all right.

Movement caught his eyes, and Draco turned his attention back to where Longbottom napped - or whatever it was he was doing. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as the teen slowly morphed. His form shimmered and elongated. It took the blond several seconds to realize he was seeing the Gryffindor turn into a tree.

"Is that suppose to happen?" he asked softly when he noticed Severus' and Lupin's instant concern.

"I hope so," Remus answered. "The oak tree is Neville's Animagus form, but he's been known to get lost in the Earth magic. Let's hope that isn't what just happened."

Draco coughed in surprise, "Animagus? Longbottom is an Animagus, too?"

Remus turned to him with a smile. "Yes. In fact, he's the youngest ever Animagus. He mastered the transformation several months before Shadow."

Draco couldn't believe it. Silently growling, he narrowed his eyes at the tall, young tree and vowed he would soon master the transformation as well.

xXxXxXx

Neville brushed against the thing he sought. Ecstatic, he reached up, grew out of the ground he spread through. He reached for the sun, spread his leaves in joy as his roots absorbed the last of his magic and awareness, confining it within one small part of the vast Earth. He shook his leaves gently in the breeze, realizing what form he had taken. Focused, he carefully reversed the Animagus transformation and traded back to his human shape.

"I found him, Professor," Neville croaked happily. He stumbled forward and blinked in the sunlight… Wait… Sunlight? Looking around, his eyes widened as he realized he wasn't in the woods by the house anymore. He stood on a street lined with identical boxy little houses. "Pr-pro-professor?" he stuttered, heart beginning to pound in fear. Where was he? What had happened?

Gasping, he closed his eyes and tried to think. He had been meditating. He opened his Earth magic and used it to search for Harry. And then… he had found him! Snapping open his eyes, Neville looked around, but couldn't see Harry anywhere. "Stupid…" Neville cursed himself and shut his eyes. He gently brushed against the earth's awareness and turned his head. Opening his eyes he stared at the little house: number 4.

He had no idea how he got wherever he now was, but his brother was in that house…. Well, Demon was in that house… Neville wrung his hands fearfully, but then shook himself. Harry needed him. He had to go over. There wasn't anyone else here. He had no idea how to contact his teachers. It was up to him. Squaring his shoulders, he crossed the street.

The front door was unlocked. Sighing, nibbling his lip, Neville pushed it open. It made no sound and he stepped into the dimly lit room. It was quickly getting dark and there were no lights. Neville shut the door behind him and breathed in, readying to call out. He choked and gagged as the most horrific smells filled his mouth and lungs. It was… indescribable.

Shaking, he made his into the living room to the right of a small staircase. There was nothing; no one was there. He turned around, now panting with his hand cupped over his nose, and made his way down a small hallway. Darkness gathered there and he could hardly walk, he was shaking so badly. The smell was getting worse. He pushed on the swinging door and jerked back, vomiting.

A body… A woman was… spread out on the kitchen table… It was naked and cut open from throat to pelvic. Blood splattered the walls and dripped silently down to the floor. The ceiling was spattered; the floor had foot prints in red brown gore. Purple, brown, ropy intestines and dark red and brown organs were draped around the chairs… Merlin, the smell… Neville ran back down the hall, vomiting again by the front door.

Gasping, crying, wild with shock, he clawed for the front door, but his hands were soaked with sweat and kept slipping. Whimpering, he grabbed with both hands… He spun around with a choked scream, a creak sounding behind him at the top of the stairs…. Nothing… His horrified eyes noticed the faint, dry blood-footprints that went out from the kitchen and up the stairs.

…Demon…

But it was silent… If Demon were still around… What if Harry were up there… Merlin… Neville wiped his hands repeatedly down his shirt and pants as he made his way shakily up the stairs. Tears were running from his eyes, but he was silent, his breath coming in soft, quick pants. He pressed himself against the wall, avoiding the footprints.

The prints led to the first door on the right. The door was shut. Neville reached for it and it clattered in his shaking hand, but it wasn't locked. He turned the knob and the door swung open with a loud, long, slow creak. Neville stopped breathing. He stood frozen; his eyes wide and wild. But nothing moved; no demonic murderer jumped out and grabbed him. Releasing his breath in a sobbing hiss, he stepped away from the wall and cringingly looked into the room.

His eyes shied away from the color red - they skittered away from the fatty pile of skin and bones - the four limbs strewn like twigs - the neat pyramid of organs - Because in the corner, Harry sat huddled - his mismatched eyes wide and unseeing as he stared off into space, his legs drawn up to his thin chest. His brother hardly looked like he were breathing. His curls were heavy with blood and gore. Red smeared across his chalk-white cheek, covered his hands that were clenched on his knees.

"Harry!" Neville ran to his brother, sliding in the filth. He gagged, his stomach dry-heaving. Neville ignored it as much as he could and grabbed his brother by the arm. Harry didn't react, didn't come out of his shocked stupor. But he was pliable. He stood at Neville's pulling insistence and trod, heavy limbed, out of the gore spattered room. His bare feet left fresh bloody prints down the stairs.

They broke out into fresh air, left the horror house behind. Neville pulled Harry down the street, panting and sweating. He stopped once to throw up bile, but he quickly continued on, down as far as he could away from that… massacre. Neville pushed it all away… He couldn't think about it right now. He had to get Harry safe.

They came upon a park and Neville saw a water fountain. He began to talk… Saying anything that came to mind… Mostly telling himself and Harry that everything as all right now. He took off his shirt and got it soaked. He wiped shakily at Harry's bloody skin. He couldn't do anything for the gore spattered clothes… But he did his best. He just kept talking. He just finished with his brother's hands when Harry began to shake; shake so hard that Neville feared it was another seizure.

"Nev…" Shadow croaked, his voice raspy and rough. "Nev…" It was almost a plea.

"I'm here… It's all right now," Neville said hopelessly. He grabbed his brother into a tight embrace and clawed onto the last of his self-control. Not yet, he couldn't break down yet.

"I… I woke up… and Dursley…" Shadow whispered, strangled. He was shaking his head numbly - back and forth, back and forth.

"The Dursleys?" Neville gasped. He began to understand what must have happened. Demon came for revenge. Still, he shuttered. What happened in that house… It was so far beyond revenge that Neville didn't have a word for it. Except maybe sick madness… He shook his head hard. What did it matter? They had to get out of here. "Do you know how to get back to the house?" Harry said nothing and Neville shook his shoulders. "Harry!" Still nothing. "Shadow!"

"Wha--"

"The house… Severus… Do you know how we can get back?" Neville asked clearly, his eyes pinned to the glassy blue and green orbs in front of him.

"Severus…" Shadow lifted a hand. A silver ring sat on his middle finger. "Need a knife or a razor," he said dully.

Neville shivered again and easily summoned his own cutting razor. He handed it over wordlessly. He stared as Shadow cut across his opposite thumb and smeared the blood on the silver band. Shadow wrapped his arms around Neville's waist tightly and ground out. "Take me home."

They vanished in a silent gust of wind.

xXxXxXx

Full night had fallen and they were all still standing around the oak tree when Omi appeared with a crack. "Master! Young Master Shadow and sir Neville have appeared in Master Shadow's bedroom, sir!"

"What?" Remus gasped. Severus had already taken off at a dead sprint back toward the house. Padfoot barked and raced after him, Draco following behind. The werewolf cast his eyes back to the oak tree. It had definitely not been there before. How could Neville be at the house with Shadow, and yet he was here in his Animagus form.

xXxXxXx

Shadow got up from the floor and walked quickly out of the room. Neville stood more slowly, trying to get his bearings. It didn't take long to recognize Harry's room back at the house. He sighed in relief and hurried after his brother. He made it to the doorway just as he saw the bathroom door shut and heard the sound of a lock turning.

"Harry? Are you all right?" Neville flushed. It was a very stupid question. How could Harry be okay after all this?

"Just… Give me a minute… Okay?"

The sound of water running came through the door, and Neville understood completely how his brother was feeling. He felt his own urge to bathe and scrub his skin until it was raw. Shivering, he wrapped his arms around his chest and turned to face the pounding of someone running up the stairs. Professor Snape came around the corner and came swooping down on him.

"What. Is. Going. On?" the man demanded, his hands clawing into his shoulders. Sirius came running up behind him, silently demanding his own answers.

"I don't know what happened," Neville answered. He felt like he was numb. Everything was happening too fast. He blinked slowly. "I was searching for Harry. I went further than I've ever done before. Then… It felt like I grew up out of the ground. I realized I was in my Animagus form and I transformed back. I was on a street I didn't know… But I could feel the echo of Demon's magic coming from Number 4. I didn't know how to get you, so I went in…"

Severus supported the teen as he suddenly stumbled sideways and began dry-heaving. "Deep breaths, Longbottom. You are safe." The teen did as instructed and stood up again. His face was pale and sweaty. "Finish your story."

Draco had arrived shortly after Black, in the middle of Longbottom's explanation. Lupin arrived now and pushed Severus out of the way. He wrapped the shaken teen in an embrace and whispered supportably into his ear. Longbottom shuddered and looked close to breaking down completely. Severus felt sympathy, but he couldn't have that. He had to know the rest.

"Longbottom. Report," he barked. Lupin glared at him and he glared right back. Thankfully, the teen pulled himself together enough to respond.

"There was a body in the kitchen…" He shuddered again. "There were bloody footprints going upstairs. I followed, thinking Harry might be in trouble. It was worse than the kitchen. There was another body shredded… So much blood…" Neville moaned and covered his face.

"What about Shadow?" Draco demanded urgently.

Neville took a deep breath and answered, "He was in the corner. Just sitting there, staring into nothing. I think he was in shock. I got him out of the house and he came out if it a bit. I asked him how we could get back and he raised his hand. He cut his thumb and put the blood on the ring and he said, 'Take me home'. Then we were here. He went straight into the bathroom and is taking a bath… Because he was covered in blood and… stuff…"

That was it. Neville completely crumpled, falling into Remus' arms. He began to sob and hyperventilate at the same time, his hands clutching painfully at Remus' shirt. In less than half a minute, he fainted. Remus cast a levitation charm on him and looked to Severus with strained, worried eyes.

"Where should I put him? Draco's in the room he normally stays in."

"Put him in with Shadow," Severus answered quickly. "Locate a second bed, if you must." He didn't waste any more time and quickly made his way downstairs.

"Wait. I'm coming with you," Draco called, hurrying after his teacher.

"No, you will not. Stay and help with Shadow." He didn't even turn around before he stepped outside, slamming the door behind him.

xXxXxXx

Severus examined the house with a blank face. It was an all too familiar scene, throwing him back almost twenty years into the darkest days of his life. Moving forward decisively, he began to erase all evidence of his son. Removing any fallen hair, any sweat or blood residue that would link Shadow to the crime scene. The spells necessary to do so came easily. They were the first ones the Dark Lord had his followers master. The crimes boasted about, framed with the Dark Mark blazing in the sky, were only a fraction of the ones the Death Eaters actually committed.

He just finished when the Reflection Ward evaporated. He noticed the ward before entering Number 4. It was subtle, but hard to craft. They basically concealed all magic within, but they were short-lived. It's existence around Number 4 explained why the Ministry wasn't swarming all over the scene yet.

All evidence of his son was gone, but the dark magic used to kill the two Dursleys still soaked the walls, as did the residue of the acute suffering of the victims. It would draw attention very soon, but first… Severus walked out onto the lawn and shot the Dark Mark into the night sky before Dissapparating.

Blaming the massacre on the Dark Lord would accomplish two things. The first being it further protected his son, forcing the authorities to look in the wrong direction for the guilty party. The second thing it did was throw the remaining Death Eaters - who were plotting his son's death - into a panic. They would be frantically trying to figure out which Death Eater committed the crime and why. They might even believe that the Dark Lord is back somehow and will come for them for their disloyalty, just as Harry Potter supposedly was come for them for revenge.

xXxXxXx

Shadow stood naked, freshly washed and dry. The mirror reflected a face and body that he was still becoming familiar with. Thick scars wrapped around his torso and across his abdomen. Patches of burn scars covered his thighs and across his right ribs. His back looked like he had been mauled by a lion. Thin white lines ran down his arms, a thicker one ran from his right wrist to his elbow. Faint bruising - fading yellow - stained his shoulders, his collar bones, his calves, his lower back.

All of it evidence that he was still healing. The graveyard had marked his body and mind. It would be a long, long time before he was fully recovered. He knew this. Remus had told him over and over, 'Just give it time. Just rest. You will be strong soon.' But they hadn't told him everything about his recovery, did they? They didn't tell him about the potential to black out and have one of his remaining alters come to the surface. He knew they were aware of the potential. He heard everything Neville said to them, but more importantly he heard the lack of surprise in his father and Remus' voice. They had known.

"Shadow? I'm coming in."

Draco slipped into the steam-filled bathroom. He hesitated when he saw his friend standing with his back to him, completely naked. But then he took in the damage to Shadow's body. He turned and relocked the door, sealing it again with magic, before walking over to stand at his friend's side. Shadow had yet to move or acknowledge his entrance, but he wasn't in a stupor. His eyes were aware and traveling over his body, evaluating.

"What did they tell you?" Shadow asked calmly, as if there were nothing wrong in the world.

"Lupin explained that your body is almost oversaturated with magic," Draco answered carefully. "The balance is very, very fragile and as the magic becomes less necessary and is pushed out as your physical systems take over their rightful jobs, the balance can be disturbed. Seizures are not unexpected or completely avoidable, although Lupin is doing the best he can to sooth the transition."

"I see." There was a pause and Shadow traced over a ropy scar that marked his skin from his right hip to his left nipple. "And Demon coming Out?"

"The seizures affect your mind," Draco shrugged. He didn't fully understand the concept. "After the first seizure, Boy came Out."

"What number was this one?" Shadow smiled grimly.

"The second," Draco whispered. He finally realized that his friend was teetering on the precipice of something. "Shadow?"

"I am perfectly capable of murdering to protect myself," he said, returning to stare into his own weird eyes. "Dumbledore, for example. I certainly don't mourn for the Dursleys. They tortured me. Enjoyed it, even. I was a child in their care and Vernon whipped me, beat me, cut me, burned my body. I don't remember any of it, but Boy does. Boy lived through Vernon's abuse single day everyday for ten years.

"However, I do remember my Aunt. She treated me like a slave. She took pleasure from my submission; she poured hate down on my head every time she looked at me. She made me clean up my own blood and feces after her husband got through with me. I could see deep down into the bottom of her soul and she had not even a mote of sympathy for my suffering. She deserved to die.

"I don't feel bad that Demon killed them. I'm glad they are dead and I can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will never hurt me again. But I feel a little cheated. I would have enjoyed doing it myself, but… Not like that." He finally turned his eyes to his friend. "What Demon did to them… It was disgusting, Draco. It was monstrous. He tore them limb from limb, dissected them."

Shadow covered his face, rubbing at it. Draco put an arm around his friend's shoulder and wished he knew what to say.

"I would have stabbed them in the heart… Maybe shot them in the head… Or perhaps poisoned them. They would suffer longer that way, but… Not… like that. Not like that."

"I know." Draco forced Shadow to turn from the mirror. "Look at me. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't control what Demon did. You were not responsible."

"Demon is inside me," Shadow yelled furiously. "Who else is responsible for his actions?"

"The Dark Lord," Draco snapped. "He's responsible. Demon didn't come from you. You didn't create him."

"I've made him stronger with my hate and anger," Shadow argued.

"Maybe so, but you didn't create him."

"This can't happen again, Draco!" Shadow knocked the blond's arms aside violently. "I can't stand here, afraid of what he'll do next. I can't stand here feeling like I have no control over him coming Out."

"You don't have to," Draco said reassuringly, putting his hand back on the bony shoulder. "Your mental barriers are strong enough to keep him locked in. It's the seizures that free him, blow aside your control, but Professor Snape made a potion to help with that. Every since your first seizure, he's been working on it and he just got it finished the day of your birthday while you slept. That's why he was so mad at Lupin and Black for letting you go outside alone. He has a potion that can keep you unconscious until you reassert control."

"God!" Shadow yelled, gripping his hair tightly. "Why didn't they tell me about the seizures? I could hex the shit out of them right now! First they keep the significance of my eyes a secret, and now this! Tell me you didn't know," he growled, glaring at the blond.

"I didn't know," Draco promised. "But we can control this. You'll be all right."

"I'll never be all right," he said exhaustedly. He walked back toward the tub and sat on the side. "I wish this nightmare would just end."

"And it will." Draco strode over and sat next to him. "It will get better, Shadow. Everyday will get easier. And when problems come up, we'll figure out how to fix them. You're not going through this alone."

"I don't want to have to go through this at all." Shadow shook his head. "Can you hand me that robe? I'm beginning to feel a little naked."

Draco laughed and fetched the robe. Shadow slipped it on. They sat silently for a while before Shadow was ready to leave the bathroom. Remus and Sirius were standing right there, obviously wringing their hands and worried to death. Shadow didn't really feel like talking to them. He brushed by without a word and ignored their questions. He walked into his room and found Neville asleep in his bed.

"I didn't know where else to put him. I can have Omi bring in another bed…" Remus rushed to explain.

"No. It's fine," Shadow answered sharply. He turned and faced the three standing in his doorway. "I'm tired. Go away."

"I need to run a few tests to see how you're doing," Remus said apologetically.

"Wouldn't want to risk another seizure, would we?" Shadow glared.

"We were going to tell you, but you were doing so well…" Sirius butt in.

"Don't," he warned, holding his hand up in a stop motion. "I don't want to hear anything you have two have to say about it." He turned and walked into his closet, shutting the door behind him.

Remus turned to look at the other two, "Why don't you go downstairs? I'll run a quick diagnostic and be down in a minute."

Draco didn't want to go, neither did Sirius. But the Slytherin quickly realized that if he refused to leave, then the other two would be that much more difficult to eject, and he did understand that Shadow needed time to absorb and come to terms with everything. So he turned and left - scowling and jealous as hell about Neville - but he left.

xXxXxXx

Shadow flinched away from the blazing light falling across his face. Groaning, he opened his eyes to find his curtains wide open and his brother staring outside. "Nev?"

Neville jumped and spun around, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you I just wanted to I mean look out the I just…"

"Hey," Shadow said softly, sitting up. "It's all right. No big deal. I need to get up anyway."

Neville nodded. He stood there, fidgeting. His thick brown hair was mussed from sleep and dark circles ringed his eyes. Shadow frowned and felt understanding dawn like a slow motion car wreck in his head. After everything that had happened, he hadn't even thought to consider how his brother would feel about him after seeing what Demon had done. God, could he be anymore thoughtless? What was he thinking putting Neville with him?

"I'm sorry, Nev. I shouldn't have stayed here; I should have found somewhere else to sleep."

"What?" Neville asked distractedly. He wasn't really paying attention. He was studying Harry's face. It was so new, but it was amazing that he could still see the old Harry if he looked just right. It was in his mouth and nose, his forehead. Weird things that you don't really think of as being a big part of how you recognize someone, but they were pretty big clues.

At the same time, Neville was certain that no one who didn't know Harry very well would have any idea that Shadow Snape was also Harry Potter. The darker hair, curled no less. The blue eye, the green - not even the same color green as Harry's were before the graveyard. He was taller, his shoulders and hips smaller, and the scars. Even the lightning bolt seemed less like an omen when paired with the damage Neville could see clearly since Harry had gone to bed without a shirt.

His thoughts cleared when Harry got out of bed. It was in his posture; the defeated way he hung his head so that his curls hid his face and the way his shoulders were hunched in. What his brother said finally sunk in. "Wait!… What do you mean? I don't care that you stayed in here."

Shadow self-consciously pulled on his robe. He had taken off his shirt for Remus so he could check his scars and had fallen asleep before re-dressing. "I'm sorry for what you saw yesterday…"

Neville paled, but walked over to his brother's side. "Stop. What happened yesterday… It was ghastly. There's no denying that…" He shook his head. "You're still my brother. What happened… It didn't happen because of you… It happened to you. I know that, and so should you."

"Thanks, Nev." Shadow lowered his head and roughly ran his hands through his hair. "God, what a mess, huh?"

"Hey…" Neville came up and gave his brother a hug. "It'll be okay. I'm sure Professor Snape and Remus will figure something out."

"I'm not sure anyone can stop it for good. The only way to do that is to get Demon out of my head." Shadow pulled away and walked back to the bed.

"Can we do that?" Neville asked, brown eyes lighting up at the prospect.

"I don't know." He fell back on the bed, covering his eyes with his arm. "I don't know anything anymore. I feel like my life is suddenly out of my control, but now that I look back, I think it was out of control the second my name came out of that godforsaken cup."

"What can I do?" Neville sat next to his brother.

"I need a plan," Shadow said grimly and sat up. "I need a plan to cage Demon in my head - or get that monster out of my head permanently. I still have to deal with Hogwarts and the Death Eaters. Draco's told me that they're desperate to find and kill Harry Potter because they think I'm some sort of Dark Creature out to kill them for revenge. And more immediately I have to handle my new father, my godfather, and my kind uncle Moony."

"Are you?" Neville asked quietly, eyes downcast.

"Am I what?"

"Are you out for revenge?"

Shadow sat there, silent, as his heart rate picked up. On one hand, he remembered the carnage from yesterday and it sickened him. He didn't want to willingly be a part of anything like that. On the other hand, his body was a maze of torment that would fade with time, but would never disappear completely. He swore to himself that he would never be a victim again. The Death Eaters were a threat. He had to protect himself from the graveyard ever happening again. And the only way to completely ensure his wellbeing was to stop them permanently.

He was saved from answering when the door opened and Draco slipped in, shutting the door behind him. "I wouldn't call it revenge." He wore black slacks and a grey T-shirt. His expression was serious, but there was something challenging and reproachful in his eyes when he looked at Neville. "I would call it self-defense. Because, as we're all aware, if they get their hands on Shadow again, it would be a fate worse than death. And even if they don't eventually kill him, we wouldn't get Shadow back like we did this time. Luck like that doesn't happen twice."

Shadow stood abruptly and moved to the window -

"I know that," Neville glared. "It's not like I -"

- He didn't even remember what happened to him -

"Then what is it like?" Draco interrupted icily. "It sounds like you want Shadow to feel guilty about stopping Death Eaters."

- but suddenly icy cold terror was creeping up his spine -

"I'm just worried that if it becomes more than defense that…."

- Dizzy, he swayed and grabbed the curtains -

"Harry!" Neville cried, but Draco was already moving.

"I'm fine," Shadow rasped, grabbing onto Draco and allowing the blond to help him back to the bed. "I just need a minute."

"Should I get Remus?" the Gryffindor asked anxiously.

"No." He pushed Draco away gently and took a few deep breaths, deliberately turning his thoughts to the present. "I can't think too hard about certain things," he explained, looking up at Neville. "But you're right to be worried about me. I want you to worry because when I stop worrying about the same thing, I'm going to need you to intervene." He studied his brother's face. It looked horrified. "I know that's a heavy burden, but you won't be alone. I'm sure Remus, Sirius, and Severus are on the job as well. But I count on you. You know?"

Neville nodded a bit. His round cheeks pale and his eyes a bit wide. His right hand had come up to scratch softly at his left forearm. Shadow saw this and quickly moved his attention to Draco, hoping it would make his brother more at ease.

"But you're also right, Draco. I can't afford to ignore the Death Eaters. They have to be dealt with."

Shadow looked between them consideringly. He just now realized that the two hadn't had a chance to get to know each other or work together. They were so different. Neville was already getting taller, still chubby, and had a timid good-natured air usually hanging around him. Draco was thin, blond, always dressed sharply, always filled with confidence that often tipped over into arrogance. They were different, but he wanted them to get along.

"We've got your back," Neville said firmly. He squared his shoulders and stepped closer to the bed.

"The world would do best to get out of our way," Draco smirked, repeating what Shadow told him long ago. "We're in this together."

Shadow smiled.

Chapter end. Please review.