Things began to finally calm down properly an hour later. Claire and Andy were back at the front, not looking at each other. Andy felt good for sticking up for her, and Molly, but it didn't mean they were suddenly good friends. Even though the two of them were popular, and both hung out with just as popular people, during school hours they rarely spoke. Sometimes at parties Andy would drunkenly come up to one of Claire's friends and try to hit on them, making her roll her eyes and think he was just like any other guy at school. But she had seen him differently now, he was more strong willed and intelligent, he could face off against John Bender and come out unscathed, she wanted to applaud him. Andy had seen Claire differently too. Usually she was so caught up in the weekly gossip or too busy skipping class to go shopping to care about anything else, but he saw how weak and timid she could be. She was still only 17, not even an adult, and that had been proven the moment Bender swaggered in that morning.
Bender himself was sat at Molly's table, much to her annoyance and was reading through her songbook, flipping the pages every few minutes, indicating to her that he was actually reading what she had written. She watched him curiously as he mouthed the words in his head, smiling or laughing to himself every so often.
"Didn't know I was writing comedies." She said. Bender carried on reading. "What's so funny?"
"They're so, stereotypical." He said. Molly clenched her jaw.
"They are not!"
"You're writing about teen angst and romance, of course it's stereotypical." He said, giving her a look. "Where's that sense of independence and bitchiness we all know and love, huh?"
"Fuck you, burner." Bender beamed at her.
"There she is." Molly blinked and turned to Brian, hoping to get an intelligent response from someone for once. He had been fiddling with his paper and pen, still trying to think of something to write about.
"Don't bother." Molly said, catching his attention. "It's a waste of time. You don't need to explain who you are to anyone." Brian smiled.
"What else is there to do?" He asked. Bender snorted.
"Nothing your cherry ears couldn't handle."
"Cherry? What does that even mean?" Brian asked and Molly sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. I thought they had moved past this now, but apparently not.
"It means you're a vir-" Bender was interrupted by the door opening and he sat up immediately, but was happy to see it was just the school's janitor, Carl, walking in with his bin and mop, a radio strapped to the side blaring some Cyndi Lauper. He casually surveyed the room and walked up the slope to the main library office, doing a double take when he noticed one of the kids. "Hey Brian, how you doing?" Everyone turned to look at Johnson, who sunk in his seat and looked away.
"Your Dad work here?" Bender joked and Molly flicked his arm. Carl carried on emptying the bins and chewing his gum, taking no notice of Bender, which was hard to do. Brian made a face behind Bender's back, making Molly and Andrew smile. He was getting braver. "Uh, Carl?" Bender called. Carl looked up and sighed.
"What?" He asked with a bored tone.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure?" Carl seemed intrigued now and that just fueled Bender's fire.
"How does one become a janitor?" Carl smirked at him and shook his head, amused by the question and walked up to the railing at the top of the slope, raising his eyebrows.
"You wanna be a janitor?" He asked curiously. Bender smiled.
"No, I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor." He explained. "Because, Andrew here," Bender pointed at him and Andy turned to look at him in surprise, "is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts." Andrew could have punched him. Claire almost giggled and even Molly was biting back a smile, which Bender saw from the corner of his eye, making him feel pretty good about himself. Carl simply gave Andy, who at this point was rather embarrassed, a look.
"Oh really?" Carl asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Andy couldn't look at him. "You guys think that I'm just some untouchable peasant"? Carl held his hands up in surrender. "Maybe so, but dragging a broom around after shit heads like you over the last eight years has taught me a few things." Allison was smiling widely at the back and Bender had on his biggest smirk yet. Molly just smiled at him, knowing he didn't really mean any harm, other than to annoy Andrew again. But with Carl in the room, he couldn't touch him. Unless he wanted another 3 years in detention with Vernon. "I look through your letters," Carl continued, "look through your lockers," That made Bender's head snap up to look at him, worry written all over his face. Molly frowned at him. What was his deal? "I listen to your conversations, you don't know that, but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends." He paused and then looked up. "By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast." As he left with a grin, everyone groaned, Brian even changed his watch. But Bender was beaming once again. Molly assumed the large amount of respect for Carl that Bender had had just increased even further.
At 11:30 am, Vernon grabbed his blazer and headed out of the office. Inside the library, Bender had returned to his seat, allowing Molly to continue her song writing, before wrapping his scarf around his head so his hair wouldn't get into his eyes. He then began whistling 'The Colonel Bogey March' to himself. Eventually however, Molly joined in, then Brian and finally Claire and Andy. The kids were nodding along to themselves and tapping the desk in time to the tune, and Allison struggled to get a proper whistle out in time, but Vernon had already barged in. Everyone stopped, but Bender carried on, whistling another tune. Molly hid her smile behind her brown hair. It was Beethoven's 5th. Vernon looked less than impressed.
"Alright girls." He said, looking over each of the kids. "That's thirty minutes for lunch."
"Here?" Molly said in disbelief.
"Here." Vernon confirmed and she grunted.
"Well, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir." Andrew piped up.
"Well I don't care what you think, Andrew." He said rudely. Andrew flinched and looked away, embarrassed.
"Uh, Dick?" Molly looked up see Bender raising his hand, but the moment Vernon stared at him, his eyes brimming with pure anger, Bender held them up in apologises. "Excuse me, Rich," he corrected himself, "will milk be made available to us?"
"We're extremely thirsty, sir." Andrew agreed. Claire sat a little straighter in her seat and smiled at Vernon.
"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration." She said, Molly seeing the glint of a lie in her face. The corner of her mouth turned up as Vernon continued on looking bored.
"I've seen her dehydrate sir," Molly said, "It's pretty gross." She shared a wicked smile with Claire.
"Relax," Bender said, pushing his chair back and beginning to stand, "I'll get it."
"Ah, ah, ah!" Vernon shouted, pointing at his desk. Bender slowly did as he was told and sat back down. "Grab some wood there, bub." Vernon spat. "What, do you think I was born yesterday? Think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls?" Bender just sadly nodded in agreement and Molly heard Brian snicker behind her. Vernon brought his attention back to the front. "You." He pointed at Andy before looking at the others, avoiding Bender at all costs. Andy then started to motion at both Claire and Molly, being happy with either one accompanying him. Molly and Claire both looked at Vernon sweetly, but he ignored them and pointed at Allison, who wasn't looking at any of them. "And you." When Allison didn't move, Vernon took a step forward. "Hey!" He called out, her eyes flickered to the front. "What's her name? Wake her, wake her up. Hey!" Allison swiveled round in her seat and glared at Vernon who looked completely unfazed. "Come on, on your feet missy, lets go! This is no rest home." Allison grabbed her bag and hurried to stand up. "There's a soft drinks machine in the teacher's lounge, lets go!"
Andy and Allison walked down the winding halls of Shermer High School for a good five minutes before Andy plucked up the courage to actually talk to her. He had wanted too for hours, for some reason unknown to him, but since arguing with John is all he had been doing, there hadn't be a right time to introduce himself. He clapped his hands together, hating the uncomfortable silence between the two of them, and turned to look at her. She was slightly looking down, so her hair covered her pale face, the only thing Andy could see was her heavily lined brown eyes and her thin, pink lips. He tried to think of something, anything to say to her.
"So, what's your poison?" He asked, knowing that talking about alcohol had always been a good conversation starter in his experience. But Allison didn't reply. He looked at her again, wondering if she understood the question. "What do you drink?" He asked. Still no reply. He looked forward again and sighed. "Okay, forget I asked." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and carried on walking. Allison looked him up and down cautiously.
"Vodka." Andrew turned quickly, startled by the sound of her voice, but frowned.
"Vodka?" He smiled. That was the last thing he expected to hear. "When do you drink vodka?"
"Whenever." Allison said, scooting up alongside him and eventually overtaking him with a spring in her step. Andy couldn't take his eyes off of her.
"A lot?"
"Tons." She said, lifting her head up so her hair fell back slightly.
"Is that why you're here today?" He asked, genuinely curious. Allison didn't say anything. "Why are you here?"
"Why are you here?" She swung round to face him and he stopped dead in the centre of the hallway, shocked at her outburst. Andy backed up slowly, not knowing what to tell her. He didn't want to be honest, he would look like a total jerk if he was honest. "Um, I'm here," his voice shaky as his back hit the wall of the hallway, "today because, uh, because my...coach and my father don't want me to blow my ride." Allison raised an eyebrow at him. He knew she didn't believe him, but he couldn't stop now. "See, I get treated differently because, uh, coach thinks I'm a winner. So does my old man." He paused. "I'm not a winner because I wanna be one. I'm a winner because I got strength, and speed, kinda like a racehorse. It's about how involved I am with what's happening to me."
"Yeah?" Allison asked. Andy nodded. "That's very, interesting." She said blankly. Andrew swallowed. "Now, why don't you tell me why you're really in here?" Andy let out a breath and pushed away from the wall, shaking his head.
"Forget it."
In the library, Bender was staring at Molly. She was stood next to Claire at the statue, leaning against it and folding her arms over her chest whilst looking around the room, completely bored. She wished Vernon had picked her to go with Andy, she needed to walk around somewhere other than the stupid library. She was starting to feel trapped. She turned her head so she was looking at Brian and Bender, both sitting next to each other, Bender on the desk and Brian on the railing, hugging his knees. Bender blinked and looked down at the book in his lap, trying to not to make it too obvious that he had been staring, especially the fact he had been staring at her exposed neck and wondering what it would be like to touch it, kiss it, bite it... "Claire?" Bender perked up, catching her attention. "Do you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts?" Claire grimaced. "It's pretty tasty." Bender promised her and Molly rolled her eyes but humoured him with a smile.
"No thank you." Claire said, turning away again to face Molly.
"How do you think he rides a bike?" Bender asked, genuine curiosity laced in his voice. Brian laughed but Claire just looked at her nails, not wanting to hear anymore. "Oh, Claire? Would you ever consider dating a guy like this?"
"Can't you just leave me alone?" She whined.
"I mean what if he had a great personality, was a good dancer, had a cool car...although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat because his nuts would ride shotgun." Brian snorted loudly and covered his mouth as Molly laughed along with him. Bender grinned and watched Molly through his dark lashes. Claire gave up and turned away from the boys completely, almost blocking Molly's view of them. Benders smile vanished.
"You know what I wish I was doing?" She asked Molly, who shrugged and looked at her, trying to ignore Benders gaze.
"Oh, watch what you say." Bender warned. "Brian here, is a cherry." Brian scoffed.
"A cherry? What is that, why do you keep calling me that?" He insisted, the girls ignoring their bickering.
"What would you rather be doing?" Molly asked.
"I wish I was on a plane, to France." Claire sighed, imagining the Eiffel Tower and all the beautiful clothes shops. Molly nodded.
"I'd wanna go somewhere like England, or Ireland. My parents came from there." Claire smiled.
"Really? My Dad' sIrish too." The two laughed at the coincidence whilst Bender tore his gaze away and looked up at Brian who was turning a little red.
"I'm not a cherry." Brian insisted and Bender just looked unconvinced.
"When have you ever gotten laid?" He asked.
"I've laid lots of times!" Brian said.
"Name one." Bender said. Brian hesitated.
"She's lives in Canada, I met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her"
"Ever laid anyone around here?" Brian panicked as his voice was a little louder than before and he motioned at the girls before telling him to be quiet. That got Benders attention very quickly.
"Oh, you and Claire, did it?" He said, trying to act surprised and pretend that something like that would ever happen. Claire turned at the sound of her name and frowned.
"What are you talking about?" She demanded, Molly stepping forward and sat on the edge of the table Bender was on.
"Uh, nothing, nothing. Let's just drop it okay," Brian said looking back at Bender, "we'll talk about it later."
"No, drop what? What are you talking about?" Claire insisted. Molly gave the boys a suspicious look.
"You got something to hide?" She teased Brian but he looked away, ashamed.
"Well, Brian was just telling me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you and he are riding the hobby horse." Claire's face dropped and she stared at Brian in shock.
"You little pig!" She cried and Brian nearly fell off the banister.
"No, I'm not!" He exclaimed, desperately trying to make Molly believe him just as much as Claire. "John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't!" He looked at Molly and saw her looking unimpressed. God, did she really think he was lying about this? "That's it! That's all I said!" Bender frowned, enjoying the situation he had created.
"Then, what were you motioning to Claire for?" He asked, feigning innocence.
"You know, I don't appreciate this very much, Brian." Claire said simply.
"He is lying!" Brian said, pointing an accusing finger at Bender who just looked startled.
"Oh, you weren't motioning to Claire? Were you talking about Molly then? Are you two doing it?" He insisted. Molly kicked his foot, realising what he was doing and he raised a challenging brow at her. She made a face and looked at Brian sympathetically.
"Brian-" She began but he cut her off instantly.
"You know he's lying right?" Brian looked at Claire desperately but she just looked confused now. He sighed and looked at the floor.
"Were you, or were you not, motioning to them?" Bender asked one more time and Brian had enough.
"Yeah, but it was only-" He stopped, glancing up at Molly before sighing. "It was only because I didn't want them to know that I was a virgin, okay?" Bender actually looked shocked that he would admit it and Brian scoffed. "Well, excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry." He spat.
"Why didn't you want us to know that you were a virgin?" Claire asked with a smile, sitting beside Molly, putting even more distance between her and Bender. His lip curled up at her but he ignored it.
"Because it's personal business! It's my own, personal private business." Brian defend himself.
"Well Brian," Bender said, "It doesn't sound like you're doing any business." Molly side eyed him and then smiled up at Brian sweetly.
"I think it's fine for a guy to be a virgin." She said. Bender's head had never whipped round so fast. Brian sat up, a visible glow on his face.
"Really?" He asked. Molly glanced at Bender, looking at how annoyed he was that his little plan to embarrass Brian in front of her had failed, and she nodded.
"I think so too." Claire said. "There's nothing wrong with it."
"If anything, it's kind of sweet. It means he's new to everything and that makes it exciting." Molly added. Brian started to smile but tried to hide it, not wanting to look too smug at what the girls were saying. "You can teach him stuff, show him what he might or might not like." Benders jaw clenched. Brian sneered at him and then leant down to cover his beaming smile with his knee, feeling triumphant. Molly grinned and then walked over to her table, wanting to get this song finished before she had to eat with the others. Molly sunk into her chair, propped her boots onto the table and chewed on her pen, wondering what the next line should be.
Can't stay at home, can't stay at school
Old folks say
She sighed, that's all she had so far. She tapped her temple with the pen.
"Old folks say…"
"Ya poor little fool." She jumped as Bender stood over her.
"What?"
"It rhymes, doesn't it?" He said, sitting across from her. Molly didn't say anything. "My grandparents said I was a fool all the time for acting out. It fits."
"You read this song?" Molly asked.
"I read all your songs." Bender said. "They're cliche, like I said." Molly rolled her eyes.
"That bad, huh?"
"I never said they were bad." She glanced up at him and he was looking right back at her. Why was he suddenly being so friendly with her? He would antagonise Claire, embarrass Brian and irritate Andy. But with her? She didn't get it. She watched him take his denim jacket off roughly and throw it to his table, snorting as it slumped over onto the floor. Molly fidgeted in her seat.
"Why you gotta pick on Brian?" She asked after a few minutes. Bender didn't look at her.
"Why not?"
"Bender." She said impatiently, but he acted as if he didn't care.
"He's a dweeb." He said nonchalantly. "He asks for it."
"So because you're a punk you're asking for Vernon to pick on you?" That struck a nerve and Molly felt kind of powerful as Bender stared her down.
"I never asked for that asshole to waste his time on me." He snarled.
"But why not? You're a delinquent, you act out, therefore because he's clearly the authoritative figure out of the two of you, you're basically asking for those detentions." Bender looked away, just like when Andy insulted him, and when Vernon was yelling at him. That's when Molly could tell he was genuinely hurt. Because turning away meant that they couldn't see the pain in his eyes.
"Guess I'd better start being a parent's wet dream too." Bender joked, standing up and kicking the chair away. Molly watched him sadly and was about to call his name when Andy and Allison returned with drinks, setting them down at the front table and quickly returning to their seats. Molly reached over and Andy handed a coke to her before doing the same to Claire as she returned to her seat. Brian was already at his table again and grabbing his lunch as Molly unwrapped her sandwich, but was disrupted by Benders loud voice across from her.
"What's in there?" He was talking to Claire, closely watching her unwrap her lunch bag.
"Guess." She said and looked down to see Bender was the only person to not have any food with him. "Where's your lunch?" She asked. Molly watched as Bender's eyes flickered to hers before returning to Claire.
"You're wearing it." He said. Andy scoffed and Claire looked disgusted.
"You're nauseating." She said, setting her lunch up. Bender just smirked, tilting his head to not so subtly look at Molly. Then, he grabbed one of the remaining cokes from the table and threw it to Allison, who graciously caught it and slammed it down.
"You feeling okay?" Molly asked Brian in an attempt to ignore Bender. He shrugged, not being able to meet her eyes. "Look, you don't need to be embarrassed about it." She said quietly, referring to the incident earlier.
"I'm not." Brian said quickly looking at her with wide eyes, only to look away again. "It's just, I wish you hadn't found out because John forced it out of me."
"How else would you have wanted me to find out?" Molly teased. Brian blinked at her she clamped her mouth shut, realising what she implied. "Sorry, I-" She stumbled over her words and flushed pink. As she tried to think of something clever to say, Brian couldn't help but let a big smile spread across his face. She was cute when she was nervous. Opposite them, John was burning a hole into Brian's head. How come he got to make her blush but all he did was make her dislike him? John huffed and walked over to Brian, sitting down next to him and making him jump.
"What are we having?" Bender asked, folding his hands onto the table after placing the final coke down in front of Brian. Molly leant back and grabbed her sandwich, deciding this is the only time she'd get to eat it. Brian reluctantly turned his attention to Bender.
"Uh, it's just your standard regular lunch, I guess." He said. Bender nodded once and rummaged through the bag until he pulled out a yellow flask with a smirk.
"Milk?" He asked.
Brian shook his head. "Soup." Bender went back into the bag and Brian did too, only to have his hand slapped away. Bender then pulled out a small carton of juice and was reading the label with a tiny smile on his face, wondering if Mr and Mrs Johnson still thought of Brian as a child, when Brian spoke up. "That's apple juice."
"I can read." Bender said in a monotonal voice. Brian gulped. Bender then took out the remaining piece of food, a perfectly wrapped sandwich and folded his arms again. "Well Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch." He said. "All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr Rogers?"
"Uh, no, Mr Johnson." Brian said cluelessly and Molly couldn't help but laugh with her mouth full. Bender dragged his eyes over her and smiled coyly. He was in the lead again. Claire and Andy, still both eating their food, laughed too. That's when everyone heard a crunching sound behind them and they all turned to look at Allison, who was pouring sugar sticks onto pieces of buttered bread before crumbling Captain Crunch cereal onto it. She mushed the pieces together and brought it to her mouth to take a large bite, before noticing everyone watching her. She just bit into the sandwich and glared at them. Everyone looked away slowly, not knowing how else to react to that. Bender then got up out of his seat and went into the middle of the room.
"Here's my impression, of life, at Big Bri's house." He announced, getting everyone's attention. Brian watched him cautiously and Molly put down the sandwich wrapper to sit closer to him, giving him a look, but watching Bender anyway. He cupped his hand beside his mouth and smiled widely. "Son!" He then turned to the side and pressed his fore fingers into his cheeks to represent dimples. "Yeah Dad?" Bender kept switching back and forth for each person and everyone started smiling at the cute scene he was creating. "How's your day, pal?" "Great Dad! How's yours?" Molly noticed Brian's smile began to falter and she wondered what his home life was really like. Clearly, Benders picture wasn't accurate. "Super! Say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?" "Great Dad! But I've got homework to do…" Bender pretended to look sad and Molly realised how much he looked like a little kid doing that, with the pouty lips, big eyes and puffy cheeks. He almost looked...cute. She shook her head, no way. "That's alright son! You can do it on the boat!" "Gee!" Andrew was smiling too, until he saw the sad look on Brian's face. He glanced at Molly who was also worried. Andy frowned and watched Bender as he created a new character, Brian's mother. "Dear, isn't our son swell?" "Yes dear, isn't life swell?" Bender then pretended the parents kissed, before turning to Brian slowly, his face distorted into one of disgust, and punching the air where Brian's mother would be. Brian gulped and looked away, hurt. Andrew took this opportunity to challenge Bender one more time.
"Okay. What about your family?"
"Mine?" Bender asked, getting up again, "Well that's real easy." Bender had his back turned to everyone until he returned to his original spot, but this time his face seemed longer and he wiped down his front lazily, as if he was drunk, before pointing at nothing. "Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch, retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk!" He then slumped forward, crossing his arms and looked bored. "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." He then punched the air. "Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie!" Bender returned to normal then, but still pointed at nothing. "What about you, Dad?" "Fuck you." "No, Dad. What about you?" "Fuck you!" "No, Dad! What about you?!" "FUCK YOU!" He then mimed his father punching him, only to recoil and flip his head back. Everyone was speechless. Molly stared at Bender and felt the urge to ask too many questions. Brian swallowed gently.
"Is that for real?" He asked and Bender fixed him with a judging glare.
"You wanna come over sometime?" He offered rudely. Andrew scoffed.
"That's bullshit." He said and Bender looked hurt. He frowned and narrowed his eyes at Andy. "It's all part of your image," he tried to explain himself confidently, "I don't believe a word of it." Bender was seething with rage, his chest rising and falling and Molly was scared he was about to explode, bringing everyone down with him.
"You don't believe me?" He said through gritted teeth.
"No." Andrew replied.
"No?" Molly heard the slight crack in Bender's voice and she winced. Brian did too, knowing what was about to happen.
"Did I stutter?" Andrew snapped. That was it for Bender he closed his mouth and walked slowly over to him, before leaning down and pulling up his white shirt sleeve, revealing a grey burn on his arm.
"You believe this?" Molly gasped quietly and looked away as Brian clenched his jaw. Claire hid behind her hair and Allison just stared at Andrew. "Huh? S'about the size of a cigar. Do I stutter?" He spat, getting right in Andy's face. "See this is what you get in my house, when you spill paint in the garage." Bender watched as Andrew flinched away from him and pulled his shirt down again before backing up away from them all. "See, I don't think, that I need to sit with you fucking dildo's anymore." He held his arms up in surrender and walked over to a small bookcase behind the statue, walking around for a second before screaming and throwing books everywhere. Everyone flinched at the noise but Molly watched with sad eyes as Bender jumper onto the book case and pulled himself up onto the railings, jumping down on the staircase loudly and sitting down, leaning his head against a bar and trying to calm himself down. Everyone silently looked at Andrew and he bit his lip.
"You shouldn't have said that." Claire whispered and he looked at her sadly.
"How would I know?" He asked. "I mean, he lies about everything anyway." Molly stood up, grabbing her book and a muffin from her bag.
"No one would have lied about that." She said before walking around the front of the room to the stairs. Brian watched her go and sat back in his chair trying to take it all in. She slowly made her way up to Bender, knowing eyes were trained on her at all times, and silently walked up the steps to his heaving back. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were screwed shut. She carefully sat behind him, crossed her legs, and placed the items down in front of her. After a few moments of nothing, she nudged the muffin towards him. Bender opened his eyes slightly and looked at it, scoffed, and then closed them again. Molly sighed and leant her back against the bar, watching him carefully.
"When things got tough with my mom, I'd go up to my room and write songs about how I felt." Molly said quietly. John didn't move, but she carried on talking, wanting to get something off of her chest. "Just, wrote them all down onto a page and I somehow made a song out of it. I did that because I knew no one would believe me any other way. My dad didn't at least. He never saw that side of her, only I did. She was stressed after the divorce, it's not an excuse, but it's why she is like she is." Molly recalled her mother screaming at her over nothing, just to get anger out. It was scary, but she let her vent and throw things and cry because she knew in the end her mother would feel better about it. Even if she didn't. "I'm not saying our situation is the same, I'd never compare what you have to what I have. But, I've been hit too." She was surprised her voice was carrying on the way it was, calm and firm without a hint of sadness to it. "Only a couple of times, but enough to make it stick with me. And painful enough for me to write about." She noticed John's shoulder blades move under his shirt. "You know how I dealt with it?" She asked. "I did what I do best. I wrote songs, lyrics, chords, everything. And I used that pain to my advantage and eventually it didn't hurt as much anymore. Because I used it for something better than what it was." John's head turned slightly towards her and she heard him breath, slowly and a lot calmer than before. "You do that too, don't you?" He stiffened. "You use humor and violence and acting out to show people what you're going through. But they never believe you, right?" Molly bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder, seeing the others watch her from below. Claire had tears in her eyes, Andrew looked guilty as hell, Allison looked sad and hid behind her bangs, and Brian looked ready to run up there and hug her. She smiled at him then turned to John, moving closer to him and ignoring his grunts of protest. "I get it, you're not used to people caring. Well, suck it up. Because people do care. You just need to let it out without hurting them first. Then, then they'll believe you." John eventually looked down at her and she slid beside him, letting her legs dangle over the balcony.
"Why didn't you do what everyone else does?" He asked gruffly.
"What does everyone else do?"
"Ask if I'm alright." His voice was quieter now, weaker. Molly leant into him a little more, ignoring his body going stiff at her touch. "That's what sad people want to hear."
"But that's not what you want to hear." She said. "I don't pity you." John stared at her and she realised how brown his eyes were. A deep chocolate compared to her icy blue ones. "I don't, because I know it won't make a difference. But hopefully, this will." She then reached behind her and handed him her notebook. "Go to page 61." She said. "That's the song I want you to read."
"Sing it for me." It was barely a whisper and Molly blinked up at him, not sure if she heard him right. But John lifted his arms arway from the railing, no longer looking tense. And he watched her. "Sing it for me." He repeated. "I want to know what it's really supposed to sound like, when it's finished." Molly took a deep breath and smiled.
"You're not easy, are you?" She joked and John smiled.
"Easy's no fun." He handed her back the book and she flipped to the page. It was the final page in the book and was the neatest, surprisingly, and John looked over it as Molly recited the words before tapping the banister in order to remember the tune.
"It really isn't the same without a guitar." She said softly. John paused and suddenly jumped to his feet. He reached down a hand for Molly to take, which she did cautiously, and once she was on her feet John pulled her down the stairs, taking the book with him by putting it into his trouser back pocket, and down to their desks. He grabbed his denim jacket and threw her leather one towards her, which she caught. "John, what are you-"
"Who wants to go on a field trip?" Bender asked with a huge grin.